velvet_crush
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Nov 25, 2007
- Posts
- 1,542
I'm wondering if finding a pain-giver (for lack of a better term) is easy to find where you are?
My only recommendation is to try again. The fine art of negotiating getting what you need and making sure he/she gets something out of it, too is tricky. I used to think negotiating a scene was weird. Now, I realize that being super specific from the start actually clears the way for success!
I'm similar to you in that I don't like a lot of warm-up, those in-between cuddly "are you ok" strokes takes me out of my head space and snuggly after care immediately after ruins that moment. But most sadists/tops who haven't played with me don't believe it. And, more important, they want to check in because they don't know me and need to gauge where I am. Usually not with fingers in pussy but stilll... that sort of does address the top's needs... what is he/she getting out of it?
Good luck. Being in limbo isn't always a comfy place to be.
My only recommendation is to try again. The fine art of negotiating getting what you need and making sure he/she gets something out of it, too is tricky. I used to think negotiating a scene was weird. Now, I realize that being super specific from the start actually clears the way for success!
I'm similar to you in that I don't like a lot of warm-up, those in-between cuddly "are you ok" strokes takes me out of my head space and snuggly after care immediately after ruins that moment. But most sadists/tops who haven't played with me don't believe it. And, more important, they want to check in because they don't know me and need to gauge where I am. Usually not with fingers in pussy but stilll... that sort of does address the top's needs... what is he/she getting out of it?
Good luck. Being in limbo isn't always a comfy place to be.