Anything but Christmas - Poems and comments thread

[Piscator]

As promised I'll post submissions to this threat from now until until Dec. 20.

Please comment on poems and your guesses on authorship in this thread

 

[Piscator]

Christmas , Diwali , Id
jus' an excuse to gorge'n feed
nuthin' changeth, nuthin' improves
life is full of---deja vus!

 

[Piscator]

Twelve Nights of Yule

A plague on the Christians I pray!
With their crucified carpenter
and jealous one true God.
To Hel with them, I say.

From the Winter Solstice night
and another twelve more,
we celebrate the day's
ever growing length of light.

We celebrate the rebirth of Sunna.
Wassail our friends and family.
Complete our yearly tasks
and honour Thor and Freya.

Holly adorns the hearth with it's Yule log
and firs are hung with votive offerings.
And if the Christians usurp our ways,
I say, sacrifice them in a deep bog.

 

[Piscator]

Anything but xmas

A fishy looked up into the sky,
somewhere near the winter solace,
n saw this perfect light,
wavering down on this perfect night,
illuminating the perfect bar above a perfect beach
sweet music came from the open door,
the scent of Chanel, sounds of fighting,
sirens, flashing lights, then quiet,
a damn near silent night,
as the light went out, the 'copter flew away,
the fishy waved bye-bye with an upturned tail,
leaving as well

 

[Piscator]

Trees are bah

Cat breaking baubles
cat in the tree
tree shedding needles
tree is too big
big bloody bills
big turkey for oven
oven overloaded
oven gone off
off to the shops
off with his head
head aches and bursting
head of the house
house is a shambles
house is too small
small thanks I get
small present no good
good will to none
good job its over
over seas beckons
over my strop
strop from a teenager
strop from her mum
mum does it all
mum under pressure
pressure tempers rising
pressure from in laws
laws lay them down
laws are for breaking
breaking the bank
breaking the glasses
glasses are missing
glasses on nose
nose of the parson
nose keep it out
out and about
out delivering cards
cards still not posted
cards fell on fire
fire from faulty lights
fire at the neigbors
neighbors lights are better
neighbors drank all the wine
wine is your savior
wine drunk while cooking
cooking forever
cooking non stop
stop enough bah
stop with the humbug
bah
humbug.

 

[Piscator]

Travis Longs for the Longest Night.

I stoke the fire, wake up the coals
at five am with tattered pages
from last week's Weekly Gazette
and kindling from some tamarack,

later warm up the pickup truck
for coffee with Marcel Bilodeau
at Bea's where I'll buy some dry gas.
Tonight's Fahrenheit's ten below.

I do a few more chores in town,
and John at the Hardware says don't worry
I can bring my checkbook tomorrow.
Norma Whitehouse hands me my mail

before I go home to fiddle with some
repair in the kitchen where Hester's baking
and feign to whisper church ladies' gossip
to smell the kitchen in Hester's hair

who knows, of course, that I'm feigning
as a stone cold winter sun goes down
behind a 45th parallel
mountain ridge west of town,

time for the Weekly Gazette
and a catnap with Willy our cat
until some Hubbard squash soup and bread
with a little bit of Marcel's spread

he says that's from his favorite cow,
later some tea for Hester and me,
jasmine like Hester's perfume,
with blueberry muffins. We spoon

a bit before Hester pivots around
to let her hair down on my shoulder
on this the longest night of the year
when Hester asks me to hold her.

 

[HarryHill]

Not a bad selection think I see Annies n gms

 

[butters]

i agree about gm's authorship - if not he then someone channeling him pretty damned well, with that stylish, deceptive lack of elaboration. reads easy on the surface but leaves the impression there's a lot more going on beneath the words.

H, is yours no. 2 or 3? there seems to be parts of you in both (ha, apostrophes) yet neither feel 100% your voice the final few lines of each throw me off scent!

 

[Piscator]

" Travis longed for the......." Is GM's style: i feel it was written by GM .....

Moved from other thread for Ash

 

[legerdemer]

I think I spied a Mags special, too.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

i agree about gm's authorship - if not he then someone channeling him pretty damned well, with that stylish, deceptive lack of elaboration. reads easy on the surface but leaves the impression there's a lot more going on beneath the words.

H, is yours no. 2 or 3? there seems to be parts of you in both (ha, apostrophes) yet neither feel 100% your voice the final few lines of each throw me off scent!

I love your profile pic

 

[greenmountaineer]

In re "Trees are bah," my first thought was any poem beginning with "cat," particulary with a humerous bend to it, has to be Mags, but there are so many "British-isms," I'm thinking UYS or maybe butters.

 

[Magnetron]

I think I spied a Mags special, too.

Indeed, I am one of the Lord's Special People, but none of these fine entries are mine.

 

[Piscator]

Anything but Christmas: Wishes for Hanukkah

I wish you smooth sailing to all your milestones
...That I may be free of your incessant kvetching

I wish you a bottle of chill pills
...That I need not clear the dishes, close the closets, or clean my desk a minute after use

I wish you unending patience and calm
...That I may enjoy a late morning teacup now and then

I wish you oneness with the electronic u-verse,
...That I will have no plastic bits and silicon chips to sweep into the dustbin

I wish you placid days and boring times,
...That I must not witness your dripping condescension

I wish you equanimity and a serene year
...That I may need suffer fewer temper tantrums

I wish you smooth and gentle skies on your journeys
...That I may be free of your desperate clammy grip on take-off

I wish you sleep untroubled by daily cares
...That I may enjoy uninterrupted dreams for once

I wish you the respect and adulation of all
...That you do not stretch the limits of mine

 

[Piscator]

Anything but Christmas Muzac Rant

Any Color Christmas other than Blue
Any animal for Christmas not in the Zoo
Any Christmas Dream not White
Any Rock without Jingle Bells
Any Color Christmas other than Pink Purple Polka-dotted
Any Chipmunk Christmas can be late
Any Colour Christmas[/URL] other than Green
Any Christmas greater than Zero
Any Color Christmas other than Funky Brown
Any Deck without Holly Bough Halls
Any Color Christmas other than Gray
Any mood for Christmas other than Chill
Any reindeer nose not Red
Any Christmas without the Dead
But I’ll just skate down this River
With sweet Joni in my head

 

[butters]

I love your profile pic

my eye? oh well cheers, annie

damn, been awol from here so long i'm having an impossible task of trying to figure out who wrote which piece

i do know there's some smart work going down. I had to look up Tamarack and it has a stong canadian connection, so if that is gm;s piece then i really want to know the story behind the characters since he gives us a history lesson most times he writes - if only we'll go look. if it's not gm, then i still want to know all about its concept. edit: found some mention of travis and hester as botanical(?) scientists looking into plant genetics or something? minnesota and louisiana are both mentioned - poem sounds way too cold for louisiana though

that waterfall piece, starting with cat - really enjoy how it falls down the page, down through the ideas and imagery

the music rant from a joan rivers fan is a work of art in its own right, introducing and reintroducing the dimension of a musical platform on which the words stand - like a 3-D card! clever

the long-suffering quiet voice in Wishes for Hanukka is a special treat all its own - but damned if i can tell who wrote it though i could guess angie or tzara

is the first ash's? parsed back on the punctuation, but maybe...?

 

[butters]

↵

Travis S. E.,
Hester M. W.

. 2005. A space-for-time substitution reveals the long-term decline in genotypic diversity of a widespread salt marsh plant, Spartina alterniflora, over a span of 1500 years. Journal of Ecology 93: 417–430.
CrossRefWeb of ScienceGoogle Scholar

hmmn, only probllem being that 'Hester' is Mark Hester. so guess that's my theory shot to pieces. ah well - was interesting thinking the poem was a story about their personal lives as a couple instead of their studies

 

[Piscator]

The Packaging

Did he mean to steal the pagans' thunder?
To live and to die by their calendar?
They say that's how it played, but yet I wonder
whether they were public relations men
of antiquity.

Was there some focus group that chose the riff
where Mary tells Joe she's a virgin, and he buys it,
and the lad's a water-skiing action hero
with super powers, and he wows them all
upon the vernal equinox?

But (at least for me) the magic's in the paradox
that he laid out up on the hill,
to love your foes and turn the other cheek
(and there's no holiday for that.)

 

[Piscator]

they said 'go find your inner grinch'

they said 'go find your inner grinch'
as if it were that easy
i contemplated reindeer slays
but no, too cheap, too cheesey

i thought about a jolly elf
kidnapped to sugar'd beaches
with not a glimpse of fur in sight
fed cocktails and sweet peaches

i thought about a bombing drone
eliminating chimneys
of power cuts and no-go zones
of jungles, steam, and leeches

of politicians wringing hands
and popstars raising monies
war-torn lands and bankers' plans
and life bereft of funnies

of children's faces all aglow
reflecting homes on fire
choking dust and rubble'd streets
kalashnikovs and liars

i wish i'd never started this
the slope is steep and greasy
my inner grinch should stay asleep...
reality's too beastly

 

[Piscator]

my eye? oh well cheers, annie

i do know there's some smart work going down. I had to look up Tamarack and it has a stong canadian connection, so if that is gm;s piece then i really want to know the story behind the characters since he gives us a history lesson most times he writes - if only we'll go look. if it's not gm, then i still want to know all about its concept. edit: found some mention of travis and hester as botanical(?) scientists looking into plant genetics or something? minnesota and louisiana are both mentioned - poem sounds way too cold for louisiana though

A little woodcraft lore

Tamarack is a deciduous conifer, also know as larch. It burns hot although it probably won't burn out your stove and would make good kindling. Birch bark, also known as the napalm of the forest is great for starting fires.

 

[Piscator]

Winter’s Solstice in Aleppo

That twinkling on the horizon ain’t no
star just another Russian fighter closing
to lay its nest of cluster bombs
or a missile cruising in.

Winter’s solstice approaches, the rocket's
flare fizzles and only darkness remains.
Come morning, no flag will fly
in this city of ruins.

When you bomb rubble you get only
smaller rubble, a few more dead
bodies and the unlucky ones
who ain’t dead.

More than five years caught between forces,
as leaders and faiths strike hollow truces
then bomb their own, leaving only
helpless rage and anger.

My only Christmas wish is to be
anywhere other than Aleppo.

 

[Ashesh9]

Winter’s Solstice in Aleppo

That twinkling on the horizon ain’t no
star just another Russian fighter closing
to lay its nest of cluster bombs
or a missile cruising in.

Winter’s solstice approaches, the rocket's
flare fizzles and only darkness remains.
Come morning, no flag will fly
in this city of ruins.

When you bomb rubble you get only
smaller rubble, a few more dead
bodies and the unlucky ones
who ain’t dead.

More than five years caught between forces,
as leaders and faiths strike hollow truces
then bomb their own, leaving only
helpless rage and anger.

My only Christmas wish is to be
anywhere other than Aleppo.

This is a heartfelt comment on the Black Christmas that Syrians will have this year : whoever wrote it GM, Mags or Harry has my appreciative applause !

 

[AlwaysHungry]

Christmas , Diwali , Id
jus' an excuse to gorge'n feed
nuthin' changeth, nuthin' improves
life is full of---deja vus!

A minor quibble: the normal spelling is "Eid."

I'm guessing Ashesh, because of the odd spaces before the commas in the first line, and because North Americans and Europeans generally don't seem to know what Diwali is.

 

[AlwaysHungry]

Twelve Nights of Yule

A plague on the Christians I pray!
With their crucified carpenter
and jealous one true God.
To Hel with them, I say.

From the Winter Solstice night
and another twelve more,
we celebrate the day's
ever growing length of light.

We celebrate the rebirth of Sunna.
Wassail our friends and family.
Complete our yearly tasks
and honour Thor and Freya.

Holly adorns the hearth with it's Yule log
and firs are hung with votive offerings.
And if the Christians usurp our ways,
I say, sacrifice them in a deep bog.

I would have guessed Mags for this, because of his love of Hobbits and other neo-pagan fellows, but he says it's not his, so I am clueless.

 

[AlwaysHungry]

Anything but xmas

A fishy looked up into the sky,
somewhere near the winter solace,
n saw this perfect light,
wavering down on this perfect night,
illuminating the perfect bar above a perfect beach
sweet music came from the open door,
the scent of Chanel, sounds of fighting,
sirens, flashing lights, then quiet,
a damn near silent night,
as the light went out, the 'copter flew away,
the fishy waved bye-bye with an upturned tail,
leaving as well

This is intriguing. I'm not sure what to do with it. Did the writer actually mean "winter solstice"? Is this somehow a play on words? I like the irony that the "perfect light" on the "perfect night" is not the star of Christian lore, but a police helicopter. But why a fish should care is beyond me.