Inappropriate workplace behavior...

[Trixareforkids]

Another thread touched on "inappropriate" workplace behavior. I personally did not feel that what was described was inappropriate, but that it was banter/joking.

I'm not easily offended. Banter, sexual or not, doesn't bother me. If no one is being propositioned or insulted it's all good in my personal opinion. I know that some women (and probably men though I haven't met any) consider ANY type of sexual innuendo or banter offensive, what I don't know is WHY?

To me inappropriate workplace behavior, is propositioning, touching of anything other than hands or arms (I'm an arm toucher/smacker). Insults or put downs of any kind and regardless of whether the person(s) being discussed are present. Taking credit for work that someone else did. Cuss words used in relation to a person.

I'm sure there's something else that I'm forgetting. I'm skipping over the big ones, all the -isms because I think they're obvious and have very little grey area.

Opinions? Insights from those who think differently?

 

[bronzeage]

Beyond the obvious things like asking women if they've seen the Maggie Gyllenhaall movie, The Secretary, the most inappropriate workplace behavior is making someone else's job harder than it needs to be.

 

[Trixareforkids]

the most inappropriate workplace behavior is making someone else's job harder than it needs to be.

I'll give you an amen for that one!

 

[bronzeage]

I'll give you an amen for that one!

Have you seen Maggie Gyllenhaall in the Secretary?

 

[Trixareforkids]

Have you seen Maggie Gyllenhaall in the Secretary?

Nope. But I know the basic story or I think I do. It's basically 9 1/2 weeks in an office setting right?

 

[bronzeage]

Nope. But I know the basic story or I think I do. It's basically 9 1/2 weeks in an office setting right?

A very different movie. I suggest you rent it. You'll know if it's your kind of thing in the first ten minutes, or so.

 

[FGB]

So I'm guessing that standing behind a coworker massaging her breast, kissing the back of her neck while pressing some serious wood against her tight jean covered ass and then refusing to take her into the restroom and screw her into a quivering,moaning mass of female flesh might have been a little over the top?

Yeah...Probably so.

 

[Trixareforkids]

So I'm guessing that standing behind a coworker massaging her breast, kissing the back of her neck while pressing some serious wood against her tight jean covered ass and then refusing to take her into the restroom and screw her into a quivering,moaning mass of female flesh might have been a little over the top?

Yeah...Probably so.

Yup, just a smidgen.

Oh and the above, in spoken word only, is no less than has been discussed at some of the places I've worked. One warehouse I worked at we had a stripper come in on not one occasion but 3 separate occasions (2F/1M) and there probably would have been more if the last poor SOB hadn't been blindfolded when the stripper put her leg in his face to remove a garter belt. He accidentally bit her. The company told us not to call them any more.

Friends with one girl who was having an affair with a co-worker, they did it in the parking lot in her SUV during work hours at least twice a week for a couple of years. Another co-worker got busted with someone from another department in the Mens bathroom after hours but while there were still plenty of people in the office. It was a big stink because it was a cleaning person who caught them and she thought it was rape and called 911. Phone sex in a cubicle farm (same woman that got busted in the bathroom).

The antics on sites were less physical but some of those conversations got pretty out there. Whenever I hear "that doesn't actually happen" I just shake my head or laugh.

 

[Ishmael]

My two cents?

Over the years I've observed that outrage can be very selective. One co-worker can say something without any notice being taken, while another, saying the same thing, can send the listener into a tizzy.

I fully understand that there are some things that are just over the top, but an overly thin skin, especially a selectively thin skin is a pain in the ass. It's observed by all and eventually starts working to the detriment of the thin skinned one. No one wants to communicate with them on the off chance that something said, even if work related, is taken the wrong way and starts a bitch session.

I've seen both sides of the workplace behavior thing. I had to fire a senior manager over sexual harassment, and I had to squeeze out a worker whose skin was so thin that it's a wonder she could go outside in a mild breeze.

Work is not all work all the time and if you can't have a little fun from time to time then what in the hell is the point of being there?

Ishmael

 

[Trixareforkids]

My two cents?

Over the years I've observed that outrage can be very selective. One co-worker can say something without any notice being taken, while another, saying the same thing, can send the listener into a tizzy.

I fully understand that there are some things that are just over the top, but an overly thin skin, especially a selectively thin skin is a pain in the ass. It's observed by all and eventually starts working to the detriment of the thin skinned one. No one wants to communicate with them on the off chance that something said, even if work related, is taken the wrong way and starts a bitch session.

I've seen both sides of the workplace behavior thing. I had to fire a senior manager over sexual harassment, and I had to squeeze out a worker whose skin was so thin that it's a wonder she could go outside in a mild breeze.

Work is not all work all the time and if you can't have a little fun from time to time then what in the hell is the point of being there?

Ishmael

A very large portion of most people's lives are spent at work. Almost no one can maintain a "professional" demeanor all the time. It annoys me that so many companies cater or kowtow to the thinnest skinned. Whether we're talking about sex, religion, use of "foul" language. I've cut a few complainers off at the pass in my day. I call BS where I see it whichever side of PC it falls on. I had one neanderthal (sorry for the insult to neanderthals) manager that I called every single time he was being overtly sexist. He ended up with the moniker "chickee-poo" after I threw that back at him at a Christmas dinner. I also stopped more than a few women from making spurious harassment claims. I took 2 woman to MAKE harassment claims. As well as stopping one woman from ruining workplace Christmas merriment for the rest of us. She was Jehovah Witness (as is my mother) and was "offended" by our decorations and celebrations.

As I said I think PC goes too far. I'm including anything involving sex in the PC bundle because it is all political. There's no difference, in my mind, between feeling threatened sexually or being held back because of gender and someone of whatever ethnicity feeling threatened or held back because of their race/heritage. There are clear cases of both and there are wide swatches of grey area in both categories.

Oh, and the selective outrage thing pisses me off to no end. If it's okay for the hot guy/girl to make a suggestive comment it's okay for the fugly one as well.

 

[Noor]

Touching without permission is inappropriate esp if it's a member of the opposite sex, being a closed windowless office alone with a member of the opposite sex is inappropriate.

If it's something you wouldn't want your 12/ 13 yr son and daughter to experience, then don't do it to anyone else. Sexual banter has no place in the work place unless you are sex workers.

Some things are more cultural than others, I accept being touched by female co-workers from cultures where women touch as a matter of course a lot better than Americans or Europeans.

I worked for a municipality at one point as one of the few women in my deptment and the lunch room often had playboy pin ups on the walls. I added a few playgirl pin ups and some gorgeous gay guys and my male co workers started to get offended. I told them I would take them down when they removed theirs, and they did. One guy told me he didn't really realize how it felt until he saw the nude guys.

 

[Ishmael]

Touching without permission is inappropriate esp if it's a member of the opposite sex, being a closed windowless office alone with a member of the opposite sex is inappropriate.

If it's something you wouldn't want your 12/ 13 yr son and daughter to experience, then don't do it to anyone else. Sexual banter has no place in the work place unless you are sex workers.

Some things are more cultural than others, I accept being touched by female co-workers from cultures where women touch as a matter of course a lot better than Americans or Europeans.

I worked for a municipality at one point as one of the few women in my deptment and the lunch room often had playboy pin ups on the walls. I added a few playgirl pin ups and some gorgeous gay guys and my male co workers started to get offended. I told them I would take them down when they removed theirs, and they did. One guy told me he didn't really realize how it felt until he saw the nude guys.

Excellent handling of the situation.

Ishmael

 

[KingOrfeo]

Another thread touched on "inappropriate" workplace behavior. I personally did not feel that what was described was inappropriate, but that it was banter/joking.

I'm not easily offended. Banter, sexual or not, doesn't bother me. If no one is being propositioned or insulted it's all good in my personal opinion. I know that some women (and probably men though I haven't met any) consider ANY type of sexual innuendo or banter offensive, what I don't know is WHY?

Because it is in the workplace, where workers (unless they are prostitutes, strippers, actors, etc.) expect and deserve to be valued for qualities completely unrelated to their sex appeal.

 

[KingOrfeo]

If it's something you wouldn't want your 12/ 13 yr son and daughter to experience, then don't do it to anyone else.

That's rather a high bar!

 

[Trixareforkids]

Touching without permission is inappropriate esp if it's a member of the opposite sex, being a closed windowless office alone with a member of the opposite sex is inappropriate.

If it's something you wouldn't want your 12/ 13 yr son and daughter to experience, then don't do it to anyone else. Sexual banter has no place in the work place unless you are sex workers.

Some things are more cultural than others, I accept being touched by female co-workers from cultures where women touch as a matter of course a lot better than Americans or Europeans.

I worked for a municipality at one point as one of the few women in my deptment and the lunch room often had playboy pin ups on the walls. I added a few playgirl pin ups and some gorgeous gay guys and my male co workers started to get offended. I told them I would take them down when they removed theirs, and they did. One guy told me he didn't really realize how it felt until he saw the nude guys.

Ok, you've stated your opinion now what's the feeling, thought process behind them? You say if it's something you want want a 12/13 yr. old to experience, that leaves A LOT open. Young people touch each other all the time.

Why do you feel sexual banter has no place in the work place?
More people have sex than watch sports yet it's okay to talk about sports at work. Not to play them during work hours but to talk about them. The same for TV shows, some of which have VERY offensive content and it's okay to talk about those. I honestly don't get why people feel even the slightest suggestion of sex is a no-no at work. I also wonder if people who feel that way talk about sex at all with anyone other than their partner.

Funnily enough I've found more people think talking about money as a bigger no-no than talking about sex at work. I'm especially amused when people say "we're not allowed to talk about our salaries/pay" Uh, unless you signed a contract with a non-disclosure statement regarding your salary, yes, yes you can. It's fine if you don't WANT to, but you most certainly CAN.

I do not like how arbitrary "inappropriate" is. On the other hand I also do not like a handbook that includes any limit beyond "derogatory" on speech. While derogatory is grey-ish, it's not as all encompassing as "offensive". Anything can be offensive to someone.

 

[Trixareforkids]

BTW King, I love your Jefferson quote. I hadn't seen that before. Must save.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

There's a whole industry that has, for political gain, become devoted to the topic of being offended and it has many practitioners eager to score points as one of the cool, hip kids who "get" the concept of an "evolved" technological culture that abrogates actual human behavior.

 

[Amberchgo]

Leave an article on your desk about how to sue for sexual harassment. Should stop unwanted advances.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I recall a coworker going bat shit crazy after our boss wished her Merry Christmas. The boss called us in to pass out chex, said Merry Christmas, and Jane screamed I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE! fled the building, and her husband came down to kick some ass.

On one occasion a client asked to borrow a book from me, then left and filed a sexual harassment complaint cuz I loaned her a book to get in her pants.

Only females pull such stunts.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Because it is in the workplace, where workers (unless they are prostitutes, strippers, actors, etc.) expect and deserve to be valued for qualities completely unrelated to their sex appeal.

Of course, Tommy never practiced what he preached. He paid Napoleon 2 cents an acre for Louisiana then sold it to Americans for $1 an acre.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

Interesting to me is now how much of the Inappropriate Workplace Behavior occurs outside of the workplace...

Future students of language will wonder at the period in our history in which it was said with a straight face that diversity required uniformity, tolerance necessitated intolerance, and liberalism called for dogma. Of late, we have been told that Brandeis University is simply too open-minded to hear from a critic of Islam, that Mozilla believes too vehemently in “freedom of speech” to refrain from punishing a man for his private views, and that a respect for the audience of a show about duck hunting demands that we suspend a man for expressing his religious views in an unrelated interview. “Never,” David Benham confirmed in an interview with CNN, “have I spoken against homosexuals, as individuals, and gone against them. I speak about an agenda.” Later, he added that “that’s really what the point of this is — that there is an agenda that is seeking to silence the voices of men and women of faith.” Say, now where might he have got hold of that idea?

Charles C. W. Cooke, NRO


http://www.nationalreview.com/node/377689/print

 

[Lancecastor]

I once had a formal complaint lodged against me by a female peer at a Big Telecom.

The offence was I didn't always wear socks with a particular summer suit and loafers.

Apparently there was a "must wear hosiery" rule somewhere in the Corporate Conduct book.

For my "Hearing" at HR I gathered up a few women in skirts and bare legs from various Departments.

The "Hearing" lasted about 30 seconds.

The Complainant was Reprimanded for wasting our time.

But there was no acrimony...after all, my ankles always make the grrls moist.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

Your cankles?

 

[yossi]

I once had a formal complaint lodged against me by a female peer at a Big Telecom.

The offence was I didn't always wear socks with a particular summer suit and loafers.

Apparently there was a "must wear hosiery" rule somewhere in the Corporate Conduct book.

For my "Hearing" at HR I gathered up a few women in skirts and bare legs from various Departments.

The "Hearing" lasted about 30 seconds.

The Complainant was Reprimanded for wasting our time.

But there was no acrimony...after all, my ankles always make the grrls moist.

Did they change the rule?

 

[RobDownSouth]

Did they change the rule?

Lance was given a choice: A) wear socks or B ) trim his ankle hair so it no longer touched the floor.