You're Speaking My Love Language

[seetheartinme]

The 5 love languages are:
1) words of affirmation
2) acts of service
3) gifts
4) quality time
5) physical touch

Which one is yours? When was the last time you genuinely experienced it? What would be your ideal experience?

 

[seetheartinme]

#5: physical touch is my love language.

My date last night knew this and gave me an amazing backrub... And then her hands explored the rest of my body. Mmmm...

 

[Ingenue844]

Quality time is mine.

I’ve had to remind myself that others don’t necessarily want my time. And talk to them in their language instead.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Mine is acts of service and my guy’s is physical touch. We are both pretty good about meeting each other’s needs.

 

[Lonelywife1205]

I have 2 that are pretty equal, words of affirmation and physical touch.

My husband’s is acts of service. I believe this goes to the heart of my marital issues. I also think every couple thinking of getting married should discuss this.

Great idea for a thread.

 

[cbo1234]

Mine are pretty equally quality time and physical touch. Currently going without these in my relationship, I think that says enough about how it’s going…

 

[seetheartinme]

Mine are pretty equally quality time and physical touch. Currently going without these in my relationship, I think that says enough about how it’s going…

That's what went wrong in my most recent relationship. My second one right after touch is also quality time, and I just wasn't really getting either.

 

[Booboobear84]

I love the Love Languages, it’s so accurate.

I was 33% Acts of Services, 27% Quality Time, 20% Physical Touch, 17% words of Affirmation and 3% Receiving Gifts.

You can’t buy this bitch (but you can be my slave while you try).

Done right, gift giving is very personal, very affirming and says that the person knows you and thought long and hard to give you the right thing that would have meaning well beyond the monetary value.

 

[Booboobear84]

#5: physical touch is my love language.

My date last night knew this and gave me an amazing backrub... And then her hands explored the rest of my body. Mmmm...

In this way a strong dance lead can be an amazing gift (or an amazing follow, which is harder, there is a follow who I just fantasize about).

 

[_Ritch_]

Words of affirmation are always, always welcome but for me, the ultimate is physical touch. Unfortunately it's been too long since some of that.

 

[FunLi]

Mine have always evened out with physical touch and quality time with words of affirmation coming in after but still much lower than the first two.

Physical touch is huge for me, and quality time for me doesn’t have to be anything big..it can just be hanging out in the same room together or something. I’m a pretty simple girl.

Acts of service and gifts aren’t big for me and really don’t appeal to me at all, I feel like that’s due to my high level of independence, haha, but I still do appreciate it if it happens.

My husbands is gifts and I’ve gotten pretty dang good at it, haha. He’s spoiled, but that’s with hopes of fulfilling my love language in return which doesn’t always work in my favor, unfortunately.

 

[Diosax]

Last time I took the test i was 30% something quality time and then acts of service, gifts and physical touch were evenly a 20 something and words of aff the rest.

The more I grow and heal I realized that the percentages before more equal. I want to be shown and experience love in all its formats. But prob quality time might still be slightly higher than the others.

 

[Booboobear84]

Agree. If it’s your love language.

If it’s the ONLY language you (not you YOU) speak to me in then we have no hope.

Agreed. Actually touch is probably mine and service. I would like to be better at affirmation

 

[lacandy]

Done right, gift giving is very personal, very affirming and says that the person knows you and thought long and hard to give you the right thing that would have meaning well beyond the monetary value.

This ^^^

I’ll be the first to say that mine is gifts. To me it’s not about the material value but about the thought and process that the other person puts into picking something out for me.
My husband is a TERRIBLE gift giver…which explains a lot but the things he gets right, no matter how small, are the ones that make me the happiest.
For example - I don’t like cheesecake and I like carrot cake. This man after 30+ years can never remember which I like and will always bring home cheesecake when he wants to bring me a sweet surprise. And I always eat that cheesecake because I know that he stood in the store for a long time trying to remember which I like…and that effort and thought (even though wrong) to me is the important part.

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

Mine is touch. (Honorable mention goes to gifts and words of affirmation which tied at a close second/third). There’s nothing that is more soothing and comforting than being wrapped up in a big bear hug, having someone just hold my hand if I’m sad, or pull me onto his lap and wrestle. It surpasses all words. Plus I’m not great with words when I’m feeling really emotional. It’s like my brain short circuits and I can’t verbalize how I’m feeling accurately. Being able to show how I feel is much more natural to me.

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

Touch as well. I am a toucher. If a woman wants my attention, she touches me. If she wants more of my being, she spends quality time with me - even if nothing is said.

 

[AlexBailey]

1) words of affirmation. 2nd. (Tied)
2) acts of service 4th.
3) gifts. 5th.
4) quality time 1st.
5) physical touch 2nd.(Tied)

It’s interesting to think about the psychology of different priorities people can have.

 

[Paul_Chance]

My preferences fall in this order:

1. Physical Touch
2. Quality Time
3. Words of Affirmation
4. Acts of Service
5. Gifts

Touch and quality time run neck and neck and are pretty interchangeable for me. But quality time, spent just touching, is my kryptonite.

 

[MaggieTheUnicorn]

We don't just receive love in one of these languages, we also give in one of these languages, and they aren't necessarily the same. It's worth thinking about not just how we receive love, but how we give it, in order to be more intentional.

I like to receive love through physical touch the most, followed by acts of service and words of affirmation. I find quality time and gifts resonate less with me.

But in giving love, I find I do so mostly through acts of service/gifts (I like making things for people), then physical touch and words of affirmation. Again, quality time is less important for me, but it's good to know that, so I can make the effort to prioritize it if I'm with someone that really cares about it.

 

[seetheartinme]

We don't just receive love in one of these languages, we also give in one of these languages, and they aren't necessarily the same. It's worth thinking about not just how we receive love, but how we give it, in order to be more intentional.

I like to receive love through physical touch the most, followed by acts of service and words of affirmation. I find quality time and gifts resonate less with me.

But in giving love, I find I do so mostly through acts of service/gifts (I like making things for people), then physical touch and words of affirmation. Again, quality time is less important for me, but it's good to know that, so I can make the effort to prioritize it if I'm with someone that really cares about it.

So true! Even though my preference is touch and time for receiving, I find that I often give through time, acts of service, and gifts.

Great point! Thank you for sharing!

 

[LeatherPearls]

Physical touch and quality time are mine. Undivided attention without distractions.

 

[SingleInNJ84]

Great thread! I took the quiz and these were my results:

1. Quality time (35%)​

2. Physical touch (32%)​

3. Words of affirmation (23%)​

4. Acts of service (10%)​

5. Receiving gifts (0%)​

For me, your time and attention are the most important things you give.

I agree with previous posters regarding understanding what your partner needs. Just because your Love Language in one thing doesn’t mean your partner’s Love Language is the same.

 

[Sunlover101]

Where do I find the quiz?
Mine would be first equal touch and

 

[Diosax]

Where do I find the quiz?
Mine would be first equal touch and

There's prob a lot of places but this is the one I've used

https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language

 

[cheekygirl75]

Last time I took the test i was 30% something quality time and then acts of service, gifts and physical touch were evenly a 20 something and words of aff the rest.

The more I grow and heal I realized that the percentages before more equal. I want to be shown and experience love in all its formats. But prob quality time might still be slightly higher than the others.

I just took it and I’m almost the same:

1. 30% quality time
2. 27% acts of service
3. 17% each physical touch & receiving gifts
4. 10% words of affirmation

I think these are about the percentages that I give love too, except probably switch physical touch & words of affirmation.