VaticanAssassin
God Mod
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2011
- Posts
- 12,391
Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19
A shocking revelation will shake you to the core of your being this week, which is odd, because it's merely the fact that the Doobie Brothers aren't actual brothers.
Taurus Apr 20 - May 20
Betrayal, treason, and vile cal-umny will be the order of things next week, which you must admit, sounds a lot cooler than the light office work you're used to.
Gemini May 21 - Jun 21
Although you always thought you'd be forced to mature when you had children, it turns out you fathered a son years ago and nothing's changed.
Cancer Jun 22 - Jul 22
You've always described yourself as someone who hates long goodbyes, but you've been standing on the edge of that bridge for three days now.
Leo Jul 23 - Aug 22
While it's true only God can judge you, you're making it pretty easy for Him to decide you're a jackass.
Virgo Aug 23 - Sep 22
Your deep-seated belief that there is meaning and purpose to the universe will be sorely tested this week, but only by the usual crap that always happens.
Libra Sep 23 - Oct 23
Trying to eat healthier and exercise more is admirable, but only when combined with not running blindly into traffic out of sheer depression.
Scorpio Oct 24 - Nov 21
After pondering what truly separates man from the animals, you're pretty sure that whatever it is should really be between you and the slavering wolverine.
Sagittarius Nov 22 - Dec 21
You'll be reduced to a caricature this week, but at least it's the cool one where you smash through a glass coffee table while coked out of your mind.
Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19
You may not be an expert on which snakes are poisonous and which aren't, but damn it, you know a cuddly one when you see it.
Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18
Mars rising in your sign this week means it's already November, and you've spent the past four months in an alcoholic haze.
Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20
You'll learn a valuable lesson about sharing this week, proving the effectiveness of hiring a top-rated sharing instructor.
A shocking revelation will shake you to the core of your being this week, which is odd, because it's merely the fact that the Doobie Brothers aren't actual brothers.
Taurus Apr 20 - May 20
Betrayal, treason, and vile cal-umny will be the order of things next week, which you must admit, sounds a lot cooler than the light office work you're used to.
Gemini May 21 - Jun 21
Although you always thought you'd be forced to mature when you had children, it turns out you fathered a son years ago and nothing's changed.
Cancer Jun 22 - Jul 22
You've always described yourself as someone who hates long goodbyes, but you've been standing on the edge of that bridge for three days now.
Leo Jul 23 - Aug 22
While it's true only God can judge you, you're making it pretty easy for Him to decide you're a jackass.
Virgo Aug 23 - Sep 22
Your deep-seated belief that there is meaning and purpose to the universe will be sorely tested this week, but only by the usual crap that always happens.
Libra Sep 23 - Oct 23
Trying to eat healthier and exercise more is admirable, but only when combined with not running blindly into traffic out of sheer depression.
Scorpio Oct 24 - Nov 21
After pondering what truly separates man from the animals, you're pretty sure that whatever it is should really be between you and the slavering wolverine.
Sagittarius Nov 22 - Dec 21
You'll be reduced to a caricature this week, but at least it's the cool one where you smash through a glass coffee table while coked out of your mind.
Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19
You may not be an expert on which snakes are poisonous and which aren't, but damn it, you know a cuddly one when you see it.
Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18
Mars rising in your sign this week means it's already November, and you've spent the past four months in an alcoholic haze.
Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20
You'll learn a valuable lesson about sharing this week, proving the effectiveness of hiring a top-rated sharing instructor.
