Your best "moment surpreme" line?

[PaulX35]

We all write erotica; different themes and story-structures. Different starts, different endings.
But, as sexuality in all its diversity is what our stories are about, nearly every story in this genre has to cope with some way of describing the ultimate moment of a character: the climax.

Question now is if you have ever written a description of climax that you really found gorgeous, specially thrilling, splendidly to the point or otherwise mindboggling.

Stylistically, I propose we have no rules. So you can post any series of exclamations if you find it fitting in this theme. Personally, however, I'd be more interested in - preferrably - a one line sentence in which you found you managed to describe the essence of climax particularly well.

I'll kick off with a one-liner I used in a story I'm in the process of writing:

Fast and hard, the unstoppable gush swamped into her.

Would be curious to hear what others found worth posting in reply

Paul

 

[NoJo]

Just scrolled through some of my own stories, my personal favorite is from "Cab Funcking":

The cab stops. I cum inside her.

 

[Couture]

She was most angry at her body for betraying her; selling her lock stock and barrel down the proverbial river than ran between her thighs.

-from Harriet Hotter

 

[M.A.Thompson]

This thread made me realize that as far as my writing of orgasm scenes go, there is a distinct need for improvement, especially those from the female characters point of view.

Regardless, here are two…

One from a fellow…
“With a furious gush, hot jets of semen filled her womb. She pulled back, only for a second, before thrusting herself back on my cock, sending another gooey load deep inside her.”
-from On Being the ‘Other Man’

And one from a lady…
“Tammy bit her lip as the electricity brewing deep within her pussy was released, sending intense shock waves throughout her entire body. She came hard, moaning out and covering Cosmo's toes with creamy girl cum.”
-from This Little Piggy

 

[Graymouse]

Huh. Yeah, I went back over some of my stories and discovered that I pretty much suck at describing orgasms in anything but the most cliche manner. Sigh. Anyway, I did find this little thing that made me smile.

“Oohhhh! Oh, God! Jesus!” Though I doubt they would have approved, my cries were loud enough that they may well have heard.

Gotta start somewhere, I guess.

 

[HomerPindar]

Huh. Yeah, I went back over some of my stories and discovered that I pretty much suck at describing orgasms in anything but the most cliche manner. Sigh. Anyway, I did find this little thing that made me smile.

“Oohhhh! Oh, God! Jesus!” Though I doubt they would have approved, my cries were loud enough that they may well have heard.

Gotta start somewhere, I guess.

I liked it! course, I think writing humor and erotica together is a tough sell, but that's a good line for it...

HomerPindar

 

[dr_mabeuse]

How would I know?

if I wrote a great description of a woman's orgasm? I'm only guessing, as are all men.
I /think/ the best femaleorgasm thing i wrote was in one story (forget which) where I switched the whole thing over to a wild horse metaphor, where the woman felt like she was riding the back of a huge black stallion as he raced towards a fiery horizon, ooh ahh, etc.

One thing that still pisses me off (he says, ruining the thread) is when male authors describe the semen boiling up from their balls. Gentlemen, in case you've never noticed, the semen doesn't come out of your testicles when you ejaculate. It is ejected from your prostate gland.

Why doesn't anyone know this?

---dr.M.

 

[Couture]

I know what you mean Dr. M, this pisses me off to no end as well. Speaking of pissed off, have you noticed that when you get pissed off, you don't really piss off? If I were to piss off, especially in some public place, that would get me hot under the collar, which doesn't really have anything to do with collars does it?


But, then again, I'm of two minds about the whole situation involving allegories. This doesn't mean I actually am one of those conjoined twins or some type of alien, it just means that sometimes they make my blood boil and other times they make the cum boil out of my balls.

 

[NoJo]

What the fuck are bollocks for

Some dry facts, courtesy of Google: Use them in your stories to increase your readership's scientific knowledge (and probably helping them avoid RSI):


The organs of the male reproductive system are specialized for the following functions:

To produce, maintain and transport sperm (the male reproductive cells) and protective fluid (semen)
To discharge sperm within the female reproductive tract
To produce and secrete male sex hormones
The male reproductive anatomy includes internal and external structures.

What are the external reproductive structures?
Most of the male reproductive system is located outside of the man’s body. The external structures of the male reproductive system are the penis, the scrotum and the testicles.

· Penis — The penis is the male organ for sexual intercourse. It has three parts: the root, which attaches to the wall of the abdomen; the body, or shaft; and the glans, which is the cone-shaped end of the penis. The glans, which also is called the head of the penis, is covered with a loose layer of skin called foreskin. (This skin is sometimes removed in a procedure called circumcision.) The opening of the urethra, the tube that transports semen and urine, is at the tip of the glans penis. The penis also contains a number of sensitive nerve endings.

The body of the penis is cylindrical in shape and consists of three internal chambers. These chambers are made up of special, sponge-like erectile tissue. This tissue contains thousands of large spaces that fill with blood when the man is sexually aroused. As the penis fills with blood, it becomes rigid and erect, which allows for penetration during sexual intercourse. The skin of the penis is loose and elastic to accommodate changes in penis size during an erection.

Semen, which contains sperm, is expelled (ejaculated) through the end of the penis when the man reaches sexual climax (orgasm). When the penis is erect, the flow of urine is blocked from the urethra, allowing only semen to be ejaculated at orgasm.

· Scrotum — The scrotum is the loose pouch-like sac of skin that hangs behind the penis. It contains the testicles (also called testes), as well as many nerves and blood vessels. The scrotum has a protective function and acts as a climate control system for the testes. For normal sperm development, the testes must be at a temperature slightly cooler than the body temperature. Special muscles in the wall of the scrotum allow it to contract and relax, moving the testicles closer to the body for warmth and protection or farther away from the body to cool the temperature.

· Testicles (testes) — The testes are oval organs about the size of large olives that lie in the scrotum, secured at either end by a structure called the spermatic cord. Most men have two testes. The testes are responsible for making testosterone, the primary male sex hormone, and for generating sperm. Within the testes are coiled masses of tubes called seminiferous tubules. These tubules are responsible for producing the sperm cells through a process called spermatogenesis.

· Epididymis — The epididymis is a long, coiled tube that rests on the backside of each testicle. It functions in the transport and storage of the sperm cells that are produced in the testes. It also is the job of the epididymis to bring the sperm to maturity, since the sperm that emerge from the testes are immature and incapable of fertilization. During sexual arousal, contractions force the sperm into the vas deferens.

What are the internal reproductive organs?
The internal organs of the male reproductive system, also called accessory organs, include the following:

· Vas deferens — The vas deferens is a long, muscular tube that travels from the epididymis into the pelvic cavity, to just behind the bladder. The vas deferens transports mature sperm to the urethra in preparation for ejaculation.

· Ejaculatory ducts — These are formed by the fusion of the vas deferens and the seminal vesicles. The ejaculatory ducts empty into the urethra.

· Urethra — The urethra is the tube that carries urine from the bladder to outside of the body. In males, it has the additional function of expelling (ejaculating) semen when the man reaches orgasm. When the penis is erect during sex, the flow of urine is blocked from the urethra, allowing only semen to be ejaculated at orgasm.

· Seminal vesicles — The seminal vesicles are sac-like pouches that attach to the vas deferens near the base of the bladder. The seminal vesicles produce a sugar-rich fluid (fructose) that provides sperm with a source of energy and helps with the sperms’ motility (ability to move). The fluid of the seminal vesicles makes up most of the volume of a man’s ejaculatory fluid, or ejaculate.

· Prostate gland — The prostate gland is a walnut-sized structure that is located below the urinary bladder in front of the rectum. The prostate gland contributes additional fluid to the ejaculate. Prostate fluids also help to nourish the sperm. The urethra, which carries the ejaculate to be expelled during orgasm, runs through the center of the prostate gland.

· Bulbourethral glands — The bulbourethral glands, or Cowper’s glands, are pea-sized structures located on the sides of the urethra just below the prostate gland. These glands produce a clear, slippery fluid that empties directly into the urethra. This fluid serves to lubricate the urethra and to neutralize any acidity that may be present due to residual drops of urine in the urethra.

 

[Graymouse]

Gaaahhh! So I hurry home from my weekly seminar in endocrinology-reproductive physiology thinking, 'Yay, time to stop thinking intelligently and start writing porn!' Only instead I find this. Damn you, Sub Joe! Damn you straight to hell!

 

[NoJo]

WOW! You study endocrinology -- and you still need porn after a whole day of it!?? You must have overactive seminiferous tubules!

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

While nothing can hope to top Sub Joe's offering, here, for what it's worth, is a "moment supreme" from "Sweet Dreams, Cousin."

"Simultaneous eruptions of passion rocked their bodies. As Leigh shivered, twisted, and moaned with delight, Bob struggled to hold on to her full hips while he kept pounding into her juicy cunt. With each stroke, his balls slammed against her sensitive clit. It was an unbelievable turn-on to feel her hot pussy contracting around his cock as he pumped load after load of cum into the depths of her body."

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Octavian]

Sub Joe

A good story, but it needs a bit of dialogue!

 

[PaulX35]

Sub Joe

A good story, but it needs a bit of dialogue!

ROFL

 

[Mr_Neb]

The Female Orgasm....
(from "Her Oral Pleasure")

This was her orgasm beginning to take hold of her body, piece by piece, muscle by muscle. It was upon her and there was nothing more that I needed to do. I had brought her to the edge of the abyss and had thrown her over. She plummeted at great speed from that great height. She twitched and quivered all the way down. At that moment, my tongue was flicking wildly at her clitoris but it would not matter any longer. My licking and sucking was pointless now. I moved down slightly and extended my tongue as deep into her pussy as was humanly possible. At best, I was now along for the ride.

What a ride it was! My tongue was blessed with the countless spasms of her internal muscles. They tugged and pulled at my tongue just like they did when my cock was in its place. Just before the end, just before she was to be smashed into post-climactic rubble at the bottom of the cliff, came the orgasmic flood. In delightful spurts, her richly sweet cum sputtered around my tongue. It coated my lips and slipped down my chin. Delicious aromatic slippery cum bathed my mouth and face. This was my reward for only if I had done this well, could her juices be so gloriously abundant. The feeling, scent and taste were beyond description. I was truly in heaven.

* * * *
The Male Orgasm....
(From "Away From Home)

My dilemma ended with resolution unnecessary. I would not have to speak it. The end was here, the results unalterable. My buttocks clenched as my orgasm began. My legs snapped taught. The base stiffened as my beloved continued the tongued caresses of my underside through open lips. The first burst of liquid orgasm left me, partially entering her mouth, the rest leaving a streak across her cheek. Her efforts continued without deviation. She was all over me throughout my spasms of ecstasy. She surrounded the spurting crown tightly with her wonderful lips but still, white ejaculate and saliva emerged from the imperfect seal at the edges of her mouth. She took me through the final throws of my orgasm by sucking and licking the sides of my hardness as it now only seeped weekly against her cheek. I shuttered and jerked as my climax subsided. Able to acquire only partial focus of my dear's face, I saw the look of a lioness savoring a fresh kill.

* * *

Just a couple for your consideration.

 

[PaulX35]

Tech Question

"... Bob struggled to hold on to her full hips while he kept pounding into her juicy cunt. With each stroke, his balls slammed against her sensitive clit. It was an unbelievable turn-on to feel her hot pussy contracting around his cock as he pumped load after load of cum into the depths of her body..."

Ok, I think it's Whispersecret who keeps telling us to actually imagine things before we write them down. Maybe it's my lack of proper comprehension of English (not first language) but I read the above quoted passage a couple of times. This is what I finally got in the picture...:
His balls are slapping against her clit
He is inside her cunt, cumming himself
That raises my tech question: How do you do this? Upside down penetration seems like a possibility, but then he will indeed struggle to hold her hips in a way the writer may not have meant.
Or is this a sci-fi story, featuring women with clits at other places than we know?

Author, could you please enlighten?

Thanks,

Paul

 

[Eldridge]

curious now

Ok, I never paid any attention in Biology class, and I guess I'm too lazy to struggle through google to find the answer myself.

So here's the question.

dr_mabeuse and Couture spank the male writers section of this site for their description of cum boiling in their balls.
They claim it comes (no pun intended) from the prostate gland.

Sub Joe then writes the ultimate orgasmic fiction, with help from Google, claiming that yes indeed it DOES come from the balls, the prostate gland enriches it, but most of the stuff comes out of the seminal vesicles (I had to cheat to remember that one.)

So... what would be scientifically correct? Sperm does come out of your balls (this is what I remember from school, oh so long ago), but it would seem that during ejaculation, it's actually the seminal vesicles and the prostate gland doing all the work.

Eh?

Then again, what sounds best when you write about it? "The cum boiled in his balls then rocketed up through his shaft to burst from the tip"
or
"Cum was produced and made nice and sugary in his seminal vesicles, enriched by the prostate gland, then rocketed up his shaft etc."



Still, curious here if it really IS scientifically incorrect to say that one can feel one's balls 'boiling' with cum.

Thanks!

Eldridge

 

[PaulX35]

The biology of male cumming

So... what would be scientifically correct? Sperm does come out of your balls (this is what I remember from school, oh so long ago), but it would seem that during ejaculation, it's actually the seminal vesicles and the prostate gland doing all the work.

We've meanwhile wandered off substantially from the initial subject of the thread, but what the heck

Semen is produced in the balls, correct. But sperm consists of two components: the reproductive component produced in the balls is being saved in a small internal organ I don't know the English name of, but let's call it the 'cum-reservoir'. When a man ejaculates, the 'ball-sperm' is mixed with a fluid from a gland, to decrease viscosity and allow it an easier travel into the womb. At least the latter was the evolutionary successful idea behind this

The false idea of men actually ejaculating directly from out of their balls is easily created by their balls contracting - or rather the seminal ducts doing so - during orgasm.

 

[Eldridge]

Thanks Paul!

Or should I say "bedankt"?

Eldridge.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Balls to the Wall for Paul

I think this is the answer to the mystery passage about the guy holding her hips while his balls hit her clit:

They're doing it doggie style, so his balls slap into her clit. He's holding on to her hip bones where they project out (is that the 'iliac crest'?)

BTW: Nature question: if people were meant to screw face to face, why did nature put the clit on top where it doesn't get much attention?

---dr.M.

 

[PaulX35]

Re: Balls to the Wall for Paul

They're doing it doggie style, so his balls slap into her clit. He's holding on to her hip bones where they project out (is that the 'iliac crest'?)

I actually played with that possibility too, and I agree it would be the only position making this technically possible to happen.
I'd say it easier to hit brick walls though than to actually pull this off. It never worked for me, but maybe that's just my balls

Paul