Your Best Line in Real Life

[LegendInMyOwnMind]

Inspired by an AH thread about the best line in your writings.

What's the best line you've said to another person? Humorous, weird, and terrible lines are also welcome here.

My own was said in a warm-up topic in a singles group. In response to the moderator's question, "Not including sex, what taste do you like?", I answered, "Peanut butter." The next person in the circle (an attractive blonde woman about five years older than me) asked, "Creamy or crunchy?" I answered, "The peanut butter or the sex?" She began muttering to herself with a quizzical look on her face, "Cruchy sex?" During coffee after the discussion, she asked me what the hell I meant. She later explored the topic more intimately with me. The ensuing sex was definitely creamy, not crunchy. But after all, I don't know how to give a woman a crunch pie.

 

[lil_jenni]

In college, I liked to use, "Do you want a blowjob?" Pick the right guy, and the combination shocked and hungry look on his face is priceless. It's kinda why my preference for hook ups were the cute, nerdy types. They almost always got that look on their face.

 

[LeSabreur]

...being the cute, nerdy type, imagine my surprise when a girl I knew in high school jumped me one night and sent me home covered in hickies with the worst case of blue balls I have ever had. A day or two later we were walking around campus and she literally dragged me into a women's bathroom, shoved me against the vanity, undid my pants and proceeded to go down on me like a woman possessed. I was reeling with disbelief... it's finally happening! I'm getting a blow job! After some period of time I felt the familiar tingle, and thought that I had better warn her in case, well, what was the etiquette here? I sure as hell didn't know! When it was nearly too late, my addled, overwhelmed mind caused me to blurt out, "Thar she blows!"

 

[lil_jenni]

...being the cute, nerdy type, imagine my surprise when a girl I knew in high school jumped me one night and sent me home covered in hickies with the worst case of blue balls I have ever had. A day or two later we were walking around campus and she literally dragged me into a women's bathroom, shoved me against the vanity, undid my pants and proceeded to go down on me like a woman possessed. I was reeling with disbelief... it's finally happening! I'm getting a blow job! After some period of time I felt the familiar tingle, and thought that I had better warn her in case, well, what was the etiquette here? I sure as hell didn't know! When it was nearly too late, my addled, overwhelmed mind caused me to blurt out, "Thar she blows!"

And you never even thought about saying no, did you? Picking the right guy to be forward with can be quite a self esteem booster for a girl.

 

[LeSabreur]

And you never even thought about saying no, did you? Picking the right guy to be forward with can be quite a self esteem booster for a girl.

Say no? Hell, I married that girl!

She did, in fact, suffer with low self esteem and was very promiscuous in her teens as a sort of self validation. I was an immature, horny nerd...the early years were very mutually beneficial for bolstering our fragile egos.

 

[LegendInMyOwnMind]

In college, I liked to use, "Do you want a blowjob?" Pick the right guy, and the combination shocked and hungry look on his face is priceless. It's kinda why my preference for hook ups were the cute, nerdy types. They almost always got that look on their face.

That would have worked on my nerdy self as well as it did on LeSabreur, including the subsequent marriage. No way in hell I'd let that one get away!

 

[LegendInMyOwnMind]

And you never even thought about saying no, did you? Picking the right guy to be forward with can be quite a self esteem booster for a girl.

For my part, I'd only say no if deeply in love with someone else.