You Wake Up

[MelissaBaby]

You wake up and it's four in the morning and you're crying. For days you've thought about it, fussed over it, reworked it over and over again in your mind and on your keyboard. But now, in the dark of night, you know what to do. You know it to the word.

And your boyfriend rolls over and asks you what's wrong, but you've already sat up and turned on the lamp. He reaches to console you, but you've already opened your laptop and started tapping away at the keys.

"I know what she tells him," you say, "Let me get this down."

He rolls over and you try to tap the letters lightly, because you know the sound annoys him. You can't help sniffling though, as the tears keep coming, blurring the screen in front of you.

Finally you've released it; her emotions and your own. You close the laptop and turn off the lamp. You lay back down and you turn to him and you rest your hand on his back and tell him that you love him.

He murmurs something that sounds like "I love you, too," and you close your eyes and try to get one more hour of sleep before you have to get up for work and you tell yourself how grateful you are that he loves you, not despite your craziness, but because of it.

 

[Handley_Page]

Nice one!

 

[JasonClearwater]

He murmurs something that sounds like "I love you, too," and you close your eyes and try to get one more hour of sleep before you have to get up for work and you tell yourself how grateful you are that he loves you, not despite your craziness, but because of it.

Beautiful.

 

[Polyacrylate]

I think I speak for all of us here, all of us who have read MFAR, when I say that we love your boyfriend, too.

 

[MelissaBaby]

I think I speak for all of us here, all of us who have read MFAR, when I say that we love your boyfriend, too.

Aw, thank you. He will be pleased to hear that. He loves to point out that the two chapters in which he appears are the two with the highest ratings.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

If that isn't true love, I can't wait until the real thing comes along.

You have a gift, dear lady.

 

[ThatsTheGuy]

I'm using one of those "prohibited" words - AWESOME!

 

[LoquiSordidaAdMe]

I was looking forward to Mary & Alvin Ch 8, but now I'm on pins and needles. You know you've set the bar really high, right?

 

[MelissaBaby]

I was looking forward to Mary & Alvin Ch 8, but now I'm on pins and needles. You know you've set the bar really high, right?

Well, that's not intimidating.

I expect to submit Chapter 8 this weekend.

And to everyone else who has had kind words, thank you.

 

[LoquiSordidaAdMe]

Well, that's not intimidating.

It shouldn't be. I've had literally years of training and education as a writer, and with your raw talent, you're far better than I ever hope to be.

That post you wrote this morning to start this thread? That's second-person narrative. Second-person may be common in lyrics or advertising, but it's rare in narrative because it is tough to do well. In what seems like a spontaneous throw-away post from five in the morning, you mastered it instinctively. I could be wrong. Maybe you worked on that for days to make it seem spontaneous. But I doubt it.

You're far too good for the likes of us here in the AH, MB. I'm going to miss you when you outgrow us.

 

[MelissaBaby]

It shouldn't be. I've had literally years of training and education as a writer, and with your raw talent, you're far better than I ever hope to be.

That post you wrote this morning to start this thread? That's second-person narrative. Second-person may be common in lyrics or advertising, but it's rare in narrative because it is tough to do well. In what seems like a spontaneous throw-away post from five in the morning, you mastered it instinctively. I could be wrong. Maybe you worked on that for days to make it seem spontaneous. But I doubt it.

You're far too good for the likes of us here in the AH, MB. I'm going to miss you when you outgrow us.

That is incredible praise, thank you. On the other hand, I just got a comment telling me I wasn't as good as people tell me I am.

And, for the record, I wasn't really intimidated. Not much, anyway.

 

[LoquiSordidaAdMe]

And, for the record, I wasn't really intimidated. Not much, anyway.

Never seriously thought you were. You strike me as pretty damned fearless.

On the other hand, I just got a comment telling me I wasn't as good as people tell me I am.

Your only shortcomings are technical shit that can be taught and learned (believe me) or pointed out by a good editor. Beyond that, there are some who just won't like your style or your content no matter what. Nothing you can do about them. You can't please everyone. But I'm not telling you anything you don't already know.

 

[SimonDoom]

Never seriously thought you were. You strike me as pretty damned fearless.



Your only shortcomings are technical shit that can be taught and learned (believe me) or pointed out by a good editor. Beyond that, there are some who just won't like your style or your content no matter what. Nothing you can do about them. You can't please everyone. But I'm not telling you anything you don't already know.

This is a funny thread. It reminds me that in a series, which I finished not too long ago, when I had a few commentators tell me how eagerly they were looking forward to the next chapter it almost made it harder for me to get it done. I didn't want to screw it up for appreciative readers.

You're putting the pressure on MB. I hope she can deal with it and keep writing.

 

[Emirus]

You wake up and it's four in the morning.

I wake up at 4 every morning but inspiration isn’t sat by the bed waiting for me. In the dark of the night in my home the only thing waiting for me are the shadowy figures on the bedroom ceiling as I try to get back to sleep. I wonder how many Literotica writers do have a pencil and pad by the bed to write down the ideas that come in the night? If the professionals think it’s a good idea then it must be a good idea for us amateurs. Perhaps I’ll start a thread about it.

After the advice you gave me a couple of weeks ago I promised that I would binge read My Fall and Rise and I have done so and, of course, it’s much better reading it in one sitting than having to wait for the next instalment.

Although I’m not capable of writing that type of story that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy reading them and aren’t able to appreciate a great story when presented to me. As for “I just got a comment telling me I wasn’t as good as people tell me I am” everyone knows that’s merely envy because they can’t write. At all!!

The only thing that there isn’t enough of, apart from chocolate, is deserved praise.

 

[Emirus]

Your only shortcomings are technical shit that can be taught and learned (believe me) or pointed out by a good editor.

Excellent point. I can’t understand those people who, when a new film comes out, sit there for hours watching it frame by frame looking for insignificant errors rather than watch it as normal and, at the end, ask themselves if they enjoyed it. The same with a story. Did I enjoy it? Where any errors sufficient to spoil my enjoyment? If the answers are Yes and No then temper your criticism.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

You're far too good for the likes of us here in the AH, MB. I'm going to miss you when you outgrow us.

Yeah. I wish I had her talent.

 

[ElectricBlue]

You're putting the pressure on MB. I hope she can deal with it and keep writing.

Melissa's doing okay so far, and made a deliberate decision to release as she goes. Provided she doesn't succumb to pressure to write ahead of her own pace, she should be okay.

The alternative is you do what I'm doing - nearly a year in to a big thing, and the only pressure is my own. It's actually quite liberating, to keep on working only when I'm at my best. My betas tell me it's a pretty good technique. What astonishes me though, is how the energy flows through to side projects. They're far better, too.

 

[MelissaBaby]

"Getting bored easy was always your problem," she said. "You would get bored at school and act out and get in trouble. You don't write stories anymore, do you? That was Mrs. Anderson's idea, when you were in fourth grade, getting you to write stories when you were bored. You used to write stories all the time."

"No, Mama, I haven't done that in years. I kept a journal for a while in prison, but that's not the same. That was not interesting to anyone else."

"Do you remember when we lived next door to the horse farm?"

"Of course I do."

"You wrote stories about the horses, As if the horses were telling them. And the people would do some ordinary thing, like just ride into town to get ice cream, but to the horses it was a big adventure. You ought to write stories again. Maybe tell people your story."

I shrugged off her suggestion, but the next day I bought a notebook and began writing down some of my memories.

My Fall and Rise, Chapter 9

Always listen to your Mom.

I wish I still had those stories about the horses, I'd like to read them. When I was a bit older I wrote stories about Regina Greentree, Maine Guide. She was a girl! And a Guide! She had fabulous adventures in the woods. She found treasure, she wrestled a bear, she found an orphaned moose calf and adopted it as a pet.

Come to think of it, Regina is all grown up now. Maybe she's having a different sort of adventure. That could be my next series.

Like a lot of kids, I fell out of writing as I became interested in other things.

In prison, I was offered a range of classes. I was eager to take advantage of them. Taking classes not only alleviated the crushing boredom of life behind bars, but granted you "good time" in calculating the length of your stay. I took composition and creative writing, and I began to keep a journal. Sadly, it was confiscated when I was released. Later I learned that I could have had my lawyer declare it as legal papers and take it out for me.

As I struggled to rebuild my life, I felt the need to tell my story. It seemed a necessary act of contrition, of atonement. I chose to come here, to Lit, and to "novelize" my experiences, changing names and obscuring enough details to guard my privacy, and more importantly, that of others.

Mom was right. My Fall and Rise poured out of me. Chapter One was rejected because my punctuation was so awful, and I almost gave up the project. But I resubmitted, and it was published and readers started telling me how good it was. As the story progressed, some wrote me deeply personal letters talking about their daughters who were cursed with addiction or their sons or brothers who languished in a cell somewhere.

I felt a great emotional catharsis when I submitted the final chapter. But within a few days, I felt something else, a strong sense that something was missing. I knew then that I had to write every day.

But I had told my story. I was in the first healthy relationship of my life. I had a good job and I was going to school. I didn't have the easy lift of writing straight from experience anymore, i would have to actually make up a story!

What I have discovered is that the daily lives of regular people, with their loves and their losses, their triumphs and tragedies, are just as compelling as any high drama. So, I just created two people, Mary and Alvin. I set it in my native state of Maine, because I miss home and I wanted to write about it. I made him a local and her from away. I gave them an age difference as a means to create conflicts. So far, it seems to be working. Their story has expanded in my mind into an epic of sorts.

Some people are telling me that I have great natural talent. Gifted writers are telling me that, I suppose it must be so. I do know that I truly enjoy writing. But if I do have such a talent, it seems to me that it comes with a responsibility to hone my craft so that I can use it to my fullest ability.

I am deeply grateful to everyone who has read my work and for the kind advice and encouragement I've received here in the forum.

Now, back to work.

 

[Emirus]

In prison, I was offered a range of classes. I took composition and creative writing

Chapter One was rejected because my punctuation was so awful, and I almost gave up the project. But I resubmitted

I knew then that I had to write every day.

I do know that I truly enjoy writing.

1. People need to realise that you don’t have to be in prison to take writing classes. Anyone who would like to attempt to write a story can always take classes which are often free.
2. To know that someone who is a much better writer than myself had their first submission also rejected, for similar reasons, has given me the incentive to continue. My final effort just wasn’t anywhere near as good.
3. Every mainstream author, let alone an amateur, needs to write every day. Otherwise what’s the point?
4. Many people go through life doing a job they hate. It’s worth taking a slightly lesser wage to be able to get up every morning wanting to go to work.

 

[MelissaBaby]

1. People need to realise that you don’t have to be in prison to take writing classes. Anyone who would like to attempt to write a story can always take classes which are often free.
2. To know that someone who is a much better writer than myself had their first submission also rejected, for similar reasons, has given me the incentive to continue. My final effort just wasn’t anywhere near as good.
3. Every mainstream author, let alone an amateur, needs to write every day. Otherwise what’s the point?
4. Many people go through life doing a job they hate. It’s worth taking a slightly lesser wage to be able to get up every morning wanting to go to work.

1. I would go so far as to advise people that they not to go prison in order to improve their writing. It is a rich source of story material, however.

2. As Loqui pointed out, there are rules and technical issues that one must master if they hope to write well. Following rules has never been my strong suit, and Laurel spanked me for it. No one should be discouraged by initial failure, it is just another way to learn.

3. I think that's right. The key for me is that, when I'm feeling blocked where I am at in my writing, I will jump to somewhere else. I have a whole file of snips of narrative and dialogue for later in the story. For example, the conversation in Chapter Seven, where Mary says that Alvin would say she was better looking than Marilyn Monroe? I wrote that when I was still on Chapter One. I was struggling with their early conversations, so I wrote a long dialogue of them just chatting, really just free associating, and kept the snippets I liked best.

4. Now that I've started writing, I can't imagine stopping, but I have other goals for a career. I want to work with people who, like myself, have struggled with addiction and the emotional dependencies that come with it.

And by the way, thank you for your kind comments on Mary and Alvin.

 

[LoquiSordidaAdMe]

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess it was the "...tell me he was proud of me..." monologue that woke you up at four in the morning. Good stuff. Worth a little missed sleep.

 

[MelissaBaby]

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess it was the "...tell me he was proud of me..." monologue that woke you up at four in the morning. Good stuff. Worth a little missed sleep.

Searching through some old threads, I noticed that I had not answered this post.

Yes, it was that scene!

 

[LoquiSordidaAdMe]

Searching through some old threads, I noticed that I had not answered this post.

Yes, it was that scene!

Hey, no worries. You've had better things to do than responding to my little fan-theories. Still, it's nice to know I was right.

Welcome back, Mrs. MelissaBaby. Hope your day was magical!