You know...
- Thread starter Mae13
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I don't know if its of any help Mae or not. I speak of my own experience. I've been on the emotional rollercoaster before and when I don't have someone to share with all kinds of thoughts run through my mind. When someone shows me unexpected attention I get the same way. I know one day the right person will come along, its just frustrating waiting for them and knowing I'm going to probably go through some tough times trying to find them, but I know one day it'll happen. Maybe a dream maybe not but until the I plan to enjoy life's experiences and to learn from them.
Your a talented and wonderful person, you should never feel pathetic. You've helped so many people here at lit and inspired them, me included. Your have something rare, your a bright star to some. The brightness starts from within you and shines through you and the work you do.
bigdaddy
Your a talented and wonderful person, you should never feel pathetic. You've helped so many people here at lit and inspired them, me included. Your have something rare, your a bright star to some. The brightness starts from within you and shines through you and the work you do.
bigdaddy
I don't know if its of any help Mae or not. I speak of my own experience. I've been on the emotional rollercoaster before and when I don't have someone to share with all kinds of thoughts run through my mind. When someone shows me unexpected attention I get the same way. I know one day the right person will come along, its just frustrating waiting for them and knowing I'm going to probably go through some tough times trying to find them, but I know one day it'll happen. Maybe a dream maybe not but until the I plan to enjoy life's experiences and to learn from them.
Your a talented and wonderful person, you should never feel pathetic. You've helped so many people here at lit and inspired them, me included. Your have something rare, your a bright star to some. The brightness starts from within you and shines through you and the work you do.
bigdaddy
Your a talented and wonderful person, you should never feel pathetic. You've helped so many people here at lit and inspired them, me included. Your have something rare, your a bright star to some. The brightness starts from within you and shines through you and the work you do.
bigdaddy
nightray
The Nighte is my home
- Joined
- Sep 8, 2000
- Posts
- 3,492
I agry with big daddy you shouldn't feal puthetic your to good for that. I wish I could help but I dont do well with advis but if you need to talk you can vent at me. I now you probibly wouldn't to vent at a complet stranger but you never now. just trying to help.
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Mae...
oh god, for that don't dare feel pathetic, or any sort of depression. I feel all the time the hat longing for the brief attention that lands on me here or there for a moment before flitting away. Wishing that is was something real and tangible, something that would keep me warm in its embrace, but its gone even before real thoughts fully form. And you spend the rest of the night wishing and wanting. And it hurts. But in its way, it's a good thing. Don't we try harder for what is out of reach? And even if this is something frivolous, it still puts that drive in us. Where would any of us be if it wasn't for want?
I think I'm not making any sense. As usual. And the stripper deal, I doubt if she'd be kissing you if she just thought it would land her a few extra dollars. I know I don't really at all know you and I really don't have the right to say, but as beautiful as you are and as witty and as compassionate and full of life, finding someone that completes you should not be as difficult. I think you are putting yourself thru the pain of longing and loneliness to excuse that you are afriad (or maybe there in my envy I'm reflecting myself onto you).
Anyway, good night. Feel better, know that here are so many of us out here that care so deeply for you and wish for any pain to leave you. And did I misspell frivolous?
oh god, for that don't dare feel pathetic, or any sort of depression. I feel all the time the hat longing for the brief attention that lands on me here or there for a moment before flitting away. Wishing that is was something real and tangible, something that would keep me warm in its embrace, but its gone even before real thoughts fully form. And you spend the rest of the night wishing and wanting. And it hurts. But in its way, it's a good thing. Don't we try harder for what is out of reach? And even if this is something frivolous, it still puts that drive in us. Where would any of us be if it wasn't for want?
I think I'm not making any sense. As usual. And the stripper deal, I doubt if she'd be kissing you if she just thought it would land her a few extra dollars. I know I don't really at all know you and I really don't have the right to say, but as beautiful as you are and as witty and as compassionate and full of life, finding someone that completes you should not be as difficult. I think you are putting yourself thru the pain of longing and loneliness to excuse that you are afriad (or maybe there in my envy I'm reflecting myself onto you).
Anyway, good night. Feel better, know that here are so many of us out here that care so deeply for you and wish for any pain to leave you. And did I misspell frivolous?
looking4fun
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Nov 2, 2001
- Posts
- 534
The say every cloud has a silver lining. You just have to look for it.
"I really need to get myself the fuck together. Before I move across the fucking world from anyone and everyone I had ever known and loved"
You could look at this as the right opportunity. Right now you have not found that special someone here in this side of the world. Maybe thats because, they are waiting for you on the otherside of the world.
Of course you could always looks at other side of it & say; Every cloud has a silver lining, but lighting kills it fair share of people looking for it.
"I really need to get myself the fuck together. Before I move across the fucking world from anyone and everyone I had ever known and loved"
You could look at this as the right opportunity. Right now you have not found that special someone here in this side of the world. Maybe thats because, they are waiting for you on the otherside of the world.
Of course you could always looks at other side of it & say; Every cloud has a silver lining, but lighting kills it fair share of people looking for it.
G
Guest
Guest
been a while
since i've had any access to a computer, but your posts are always the first things i look for. i'm not always eager to reply from an un-registered format, but what you said herewas striking since it applys to some writing that i did just last night. here goes.....
the night moves slowly
when i drown in lonely
empty room, un-new
empty thoughts with no clues
what could come with tommorrow?
will it bring joy, life or sorrow?
the night time ritual
is totaly critical
to my creative flow of spirit
my forward momentum split
out all night with gut and head full of drink
or one of those quiet, at home times to think
and ponder, wonder, thought
or quiet anxiety from pot
this is the recipe to create
only at night late, late, late
well.. i thought it applies, in the fact that it just about sums up my life. the art of drinking right? any way... i know how you feal about the stripper. i feel that way about these empty-headed girls that i'm frequently ionvolved with. any ways, hope you feel better, and keep your chin up kiddo.
yours....
felixdakat
since i've had any access to a computer, but your posts are always the first things i look for. i'm not always eager to reply from an un-registered format, but what you said herewas striking since it applys to some writing that i did just last night. here goes.....
the night moves slowly
when i drown in lonely
empty room, un-new
empty thoughts with no clues
what could come with tommorrow?
will it bring joy, life or sorrow?
the night time ritual
is totaly critical
to my creative flow of spirit
my forward momentum split
out all night with gut and head full of drink
or one of those quiet, at home times to think
and ponder, wonder, thought
or quiet anxiety from pot
this is the recipe to create
only at night late, late, late
well.. i thought it applies, in the fact that it just about sums up my life. the art of drinking right? any way... i know how you feal about the stripper. i feel that way about these empty-headed girls that i'm frequently ionvolved with. any ways, hope you feel better, and keep your chin up kiddo.
yours....
felixdakat
SexyAmber
Queen of the Damned
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2001
- Posts
- 5,321
Mae
Well Mae, as you can see you aren't alone. Everyone feels a sense of longing....it is odd...even married people can feel it...my mother feels it....my friends...everyone goes through it....and you know you definately have an outlet of people to listen here...and I will always be here if you need anything...here is a poem I have above my computer...in my jacket pocket and next to my bed...it may be clique or corny but my grandmother gave it to me when I was 16 with a note that someday this poem would provide my spirit with comfort ...hope it helps someone out there...
Comes the Dawn
by Kara DiGiovanna
After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head held up and your eyes open,
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child
And you learn to build all your roads
On today because tomorrow's ground
Is too uncertain for plans, and futures have
A way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine
Burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate
Your own soul, instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure....
That you really are strong
That you really have worth.
And you learn and learn....
With every goodbye you learn.
Well Mae, as you can see you aren't alone. Everyone feels a sense of longing....it is odd...even married people can feel it...my mother feels it....my friends...everyone goes through it....and you know you definately have an outlet of people to listen here...and I will always be here if you need anything...here is a poem I have above my computer...in my jacket pocket and next to my bed...it may be clique or corny but my grandmother gave it to me when I was 16 with a note that someday this poem would provide my spirit with comfort ...hope it helps someone out there...
Comes the Dawn
by Kara DiGiovanna
After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head held up and your eyes open,
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child
And you learn to build all your roads
On today because tomorrow's ground
Is too uncertain for plans, and futures have
A way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine
Burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate
Your own soul, instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure....
That you really are strong
That you really have worth.
And you learn and learn....
With every goodbye you learn.
SlowHand89
What're you waiting for..
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2001
- Posts
- 1,046
You may feel lonely, but you are not alone. Personally, I never go to strip joints when I don't have anyone special (or even not so special) because I always leave feeling like shit. The attention is nice but it isn't real.
And hey! Where's my wallet? lol
And hey! Where's my wallet? lol
Mae,
Amber is so right......I am happily married, but I long for something missing....I feel lonely sometimes, more than I should. I want, I need, I wish, I dream, I hope......I cry......never ending cycle for me and here I am, with a man by my side every night. But yet, so empty. He is a good man, lover, everything.....but I need something he isnt able to give...and what that is, who knows. I wish you happiness sweet girl.....you are a doll and deserve so much.
Amber darling.....thanks for posting that poem. It brought tears to my eyes and really does bring a sense of comfort that maybe *I* am worthy, maybe *I* am beautiful, maybe *I* am a good person, maybe *I* do have a good soul.
Much love, happiness, and hugs to you both!
Amber is so right......I am happily married, but I long for something missing....I feel lonely sometimes, more than I should. I want, I need, I wish, I dream, I hope......I cry......never ending cycle for me and here I am, with a man by my side every night. But yet, so empty. He is a good man, lover, everything.....but I need something he isnt able to give...and what that is, who knows. I wish you happiness sweet girl.....you are a doll and deserve so much.
Amber darling.....thanks for posting that poem. It brought tears to my eyes and really does bring a sense of comfort that maybe *I* am worthy, maybe *I* am beautiful, maybe *I* am a good person, maybe *I* do have a good soul.
Much love, happiness, and hugs to you both!
And thanks for being everything that you are!
RawHumor
Creepers Gotta Creep
- Joined
- Jan 24, 2002
- Posts
- 57,560
Jewelz said:
Jewelz, a lot of times with married couples the problem isn't exactly a lack of love or caring, but it's knowing HOW to love each other. Dr. Gary Chapman wrote a book about it called The Five Love Languages.
Basically, what he said is that we tend to love our spouse the way we want to be loved. I think the five love languages that he lists are (in random order):
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Acts of Service (cleaning, cooking, etc)
3. Touches & Caresses (hugs, cuddling, etc)
4. Quality Time (no TV or other distractions)
5. Gifts
For example, I tend to appreciate acts of service above the others so I tend to love my SO that way. She, on the other hand, favors quality time so she tries to love me that way. The key is learning to speak the other person's language.
If you'd like more info, I could get you a link for that book.
I just wanted to take a moment to thank all of you for the following reasons:
1: your openess
2. your kindness
3. your support of others
I was caught of guard by Mae's post. In fact I cried.
Your kind words of encouragement and support, given so honestly, has changed my opinion of the over all general population of this world.
Mae...I do not know you outside of this board. However, I hope that all will work at for the best. And please believe me when I say you are not alone.
Peace
1: your openess
2. your kindness
3. your support of others
I was caught of guard by Mae's post. In fact I cried.
Your kind words of encouragement and support, given so honestly, has changed my opinion of the over all general population of this world.
Mae...I do not know you outside of this board. However, I hope that all will work at for the best. And please believe me when I say you are not alone.
Peace
*offers Mae a warm fuzzy*
Mae,
I don't have any kernels of wisdom, and I'm not going to regale you with platitudes that may or may not be applicable - but for what it's worth, I think that you're a wonderful and strong woman, and that the emotional rollercoaster will eventually level off at some sort of "happy" level as long as you seek stability.
And anytime you want some sort of love-fest, you know that you can just start a thread in here and a bajillion lovey-dovey goodness posts will be up within an hour
We really do love you here, Mae. Take care.
~justin
Mae,
I don't have any kernels of wisdom, and I'm not going to regale you with platitudes that may or may not be applicable - but for what it's worth, I think that you're a wonderful and strong woman, and that the emotional rollercoaster will eventually level off at some sort of "happy" level as long as you seek stability.
And anytime you want some sort of love-fest, you know that you can just start a thread in here and a bajillion lovey-dovey goodness posts will be up within an hour
We really do love you here, Mae. Take care.
~justin
Mae,
Life is like a wheel, sometimes you are on the top and sometimes you are at the bottom. Just hang in there Mae, it'll get better and next thing you know things will be on the bright side. If you need a shoulder, im here for you. Hang in there baby, keep your chin up and I want to see those pretty smiles of yours
SoooCoool
Life is like a wheel, sometimes you are on the top and sometimes you are at the bottom. Just hang in there Mae, it'll get better and next thing you know things will be on the bright side. If you need a shoulder, im here for you. Hang in there baby, keep your chin up and I want to see those pretty smiles of yours
SoooCoool
Mae13
Special Needs Woman
- Joined
- Sep 23, 2001
- Posts
- 2,487
Apology
I'm sorry guys. This really wasn't the time or place for that. But you know what they say...when the liquid courage is talking, sometimes it doesn't make the best sense (you can tell from the my propensity of my useage of the word "fuck" in all it's glory)...reason #1037 why Mae is going to be studiously avoiding alcohol for a while. It was amazing when I actually looked back over the last couple months and saw the steady incline of quantity and frequency...a sure sign for me that things are overall "fuckered-uppered" as my da used to say. And that's one demon I don't need to battle again.
But thank you, all of you, for the sweet words thought and posted....it really isn't about not having 'someone' actually. I am bearably comfortable with that (most of the time). That whole embarassing meltdown had little to do with relationship woes and everything to do with the other unfulfilled cravings in my life. Those needful things that gang up on you when you least expect it and tear you to pieces. That particular train of thought just happened to be the straw that broke the camel's back, and brought the world crashing down.
Thank you again, from the depths of my somewhat battered little heart. *kiss*
mae
I'm sorry guys. This really wasn't the time or place for that. But you know what they say...when the liquid courage is talking, sometimes it doesn't make the best sense (you can tell from the my propensity of my useage of the word "fuck" in all it's glory)...reason #1037 why Mae is going to be studiously avoiding alcohol for a while. It was amazing when I actually looked back over the last couple months and saw the steady incline of quantity and frequency...a sure sign for me that things are overall "fuckered-uppered" as my da used to say. And that's one demon I don't need to battle again.
But thank you, all of you, for the sweet words thought and posted....it really isn't about not having 'someone' actually. I am bearably comfortable with that (most of the time). That whole embarassing meltdown had little to do with relationship woes and everything to do with the other unfulfilled cravings in my life. Those needful things that gang up on you when you least expect it and tear you to pieces. That particular train of thought just happened to be the straw that broke the camel's back, and brought the world crashing down.
Thank you again, from the depths of my somewhat battered little heart. *kiss*
mae
Nothing to apologize for nor be embarrassed about. I found it quite a learning experience for myself as well. You are human angel, you are allowed to "break" and who better to come to when you walk off the beaten path than people who care about you? You are a strong woman Mae, admired by many. Nothing about your post here will change that. Especially in my eyes. I have always admired you from way back in my lurking days last year. So sweetheart, hang tough, smile alot and be the Mae that is loved so!! HUGS and Kisses!!!!!!
PS....I would have loved to have been that stripper!!! nummmy
So sweetheart, hang tough, smile alot and be the Mae that is loved so!! HUGS and Kisses!!!!!! PS....I would have loved to have been that stripper!!! nummmy
navarre
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2002
- Posts
- 3,089
Mae,
Someone sent me this recently when things were going very badly:
Recently, I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together
at the airport. The airline had announced her departure and standing near
the security gate, they hugged and he said, “I love you. I wish you
enough.”
She, in turn, said, “Dad, our life together has been more than enough. Your
love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, “Dad.”
They kissed and she left. He walked over toward the window where I was
seated. Standing there, I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried
not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, “Did you
ever say good-bye to someone, knowing it would be forever?”
”Yes, I have,” I replied. “Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever
good-bye?”
”I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead, and the
reality is, the next trip back will be for my funeral,” he said.
”When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, ‘I wish you enough.’ May I
ask what that means?”
He began to smile. “That’s a wish that has been handed down for many
generations within my family. My parents used to say it to everyone.” He
paused for a moment, looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he
smiled even more. “When we said ‘I wish you enough,’ we were wanting the
other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain
them,” he continued and then, turning toward me, he shared the following:
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more. I wish you enough
happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much
bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. I wish you enough loss to
appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough ‘Hellos’ to get you through the day.
What I'm saying Mae is "I wish you enough"
Someone sent me this recently when things were going very badly:
Recently, I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together
at the airport. The airline had announced her departure and standing near
the security gate, they hugged and he said, “I love you. I wish you
enough.”
She, in turn, said, “Dad, our life together has been more than enough. Your
love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, “Dad.”
They kissed and she left. He walked over toward the window where I was
seated. Standing there, I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried
not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, “Did you
ever say good-bye to someone, knowing it would be forever?”
”Yes, I have,” I replied. “Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever
good-bye?”
”I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead, and the
reality is, the next trip back will be for my funeral,” he said.
”When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, ‘I wish you enough.’ May I
ask what that means?”
He began to smile. “That’s a wish that has been handed down for many
generations within my family. My parents used to say it to everyone.” He
paused for a moment, looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he
smiled even more. “When we said ‘I wish you enough,’ we were wanting the
other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain
them,” he continued and then, turning toward me, he shared the following:
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more. I wish you enough
happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much
bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. I wish you enough loss to
appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough ‘Hellos’ to get you through the day.
What I'm saying Mae is "I wish you enough"
SlowHand89
What're you waiting for..
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2001
- Posts
- 1,046
Wow navarre, that was a great post. I really enjoyed the sentiment you put out and I know of a number of people I can send that too who would really appreciate it. Thanks for sharing it where we all could enjoy it
Mae13
Special Needs Woman
- Joined
- Sep 23, 2001
- Posts
- 2,487
Oooh navarre...
That was beautiful. Thank you so very much. This is actually very similar to my own train of thoughts for when things are rough and I'm beginning to do things like ask 'why?'.
Those rainy days *do* make the sunny days that much more bright and beautiful. It's just easy to forget that sometimes when you're standing in the rain.
In counterwish to you, I will say "Drink Deep". The meaning behind that is sort of convoluted, and difficult to explain unless you've read/understood Stranger in a Strange Land or are familiar with CAW, but it is a similar blessing, and truly meant from all that is my heart.
*kiss*
mae
That was beautiful. Thank you so very much. This is actually very similar to my own train of thoughts for when things are rough and I'm beginning to do things like ask 'why?'.
Those rainy days *do* make the sunny days that much more bright and beautiful. It's just easy to forget that sometimes when you're standing in the rain.
In counterwish to you, I will say "Drink Deep". The meaning behind that is sort of convoluted, and difficult to explain unless you've read/understood Stranger in a Strange Land or are familiar with CAW, but it is a similar blessing, and truly meant from all that is my heart.
*kiss*
mae
