You know you're getting old when . . .

[voluptuary_manque]

Your new refrigerator is so advanced you have to read the owners' manual to figure out what it does, and how!

 

[TxRad]

you remember there being a guy delivering ice for iceboxes.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

It takes you two weeks with the owners' manual of your new car to figure out what the dashboard does.

 

[stephen55]

It takes you two weeks with the owners' manual of your new car to figure out what the dashboard does.

Honest to God!!

I've owned my present car for two and a half years and I still can't change the dashboard clock!!

 

[TE999]

Your new refrigerator is so advanced you have to read the owners' manual to figure out what it does, and how!

You can blame the Japanese for this level of complication in appliances and everything else...they dote on gadgetry...the more complicated and puzzling the better...I think they're a nation of engineers obsessed with how everything works...we've simply followed suit.

AARP magazine and it's ilk aimed at older people are full of ads for 'simple' computers, cell phones and other gadgets for the technologically impaired. The 'Greatest Generation' and the 'Baby Boomers' are the last generations who will be continually baffled by technology...all those people born after 1970 have grown up with it and it's a part of their lives.

Refrigerators defrost automatically now.

 

[jomar]

Why my fridge actually ding-dongs if the door is left open!

I also suspect it is downloading porn.

 

[TE999]

Why my fridge actually ding-dongs if the door is left open!

I also suspect it is downloading porn.

That would explain all those cucumbers and pieces of liver in there you don't remember buying.

 

[jomar]

That would explain all those cucumbers and pieces of liver in there you don't remember buying.

Yes!..

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Honest to God!!

I've owned my present car for two and a half years and I still can't change the dashboard clock!!

Have you tried using some of the radio buttons, Stephen?

(Don't mind me; I'm still adjusting to finding my students taking their lab photos with phones.)

 

[Handley_Page]

You get your grandson to programme the video.

And teach you how to do it properly.
[this may be due to the total crap way the manuals are written ]

 

[oggbashan]

You know you are getting old when...

You have to explain:

- how to double-declutch.

- or how decarbonising a cylinder head was a quarterly chore.

- changing the spark plugs, cleaning the fuel filters and tuning the carburettor was a weekend well spent.

- that only rich people had powered lawnmowers.

- that weedkillers actually did just that and didn't require a biological protection suit.

- that DDT killed mosquitoes.

- that mass bombing of civilians was just part of war.

- that not every house had a bathroom and a tin bath hung on the outhouse wall was better than no bath at all.

- that not everyone had piped water, and drawing water from a well was required when visiting some of your relations (as was a visit to the smelly earth closet at the end of the garden).

- that some people had never seen a banana nor an orange.

- that SPAM was preferable to no meat.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

I can't match all of those, Og, but I remember...

The ice man hauling a cake of ice up four stories to my family's flat;

the accordian player waiting for pennies in the tenement courtyards...and sometimes getting a redhot one from a malicious neighbour;

the recycling truck was a junk man on his horsedrawn cart shouting "Bottles! Rags!" as he drove down the streets and his fellow pushed an enormous hand-cart shouting "Newspapers!"

and when the butcher shop had fresh saw shavings on the floor to soak up the spilled blood...

 

[Loring2]

Uh oh

You have to explain:

- how to double-declutch.

- or how decarbonising a cylinder head was a quarterly chore.

- changing the spark plugs, cleaning the fuel filters and tuning the carburettor was a weekend well spent.

- that only rich people had powered lawnmowers.

- that weedkillers actually did just that and didn't require a biological protection suit.

- that DDT killed mosquitoes.

- that mass bombing of civilians was just part of war.

- that not every house had a bathroom and a tin bath hung on the outhouse wall was better than no bath at all.

- that not everyone had piped water, and drawing water from a well was required when visiting some of your relations (as was a visit to the smelly earth closet at the end of the garden).

- that some people had never seen a banana nor an orange.

- that SPAM was preferable to no meat.

Will you quit talking about me or is it just my imagination?

 

[Loring2]

I can't match all of those, Og, but I remember...

The ice man hauling a cake of ice up four stories to my family's flat;

the accordian player waiting for pennies in the tenement courtyards...and sometimes getting a redhot one from a malicious neighbour;

the recycling truck was a junk man on his horsedrawn cart shouting "Bottles! Rags!" as he drove down the streets and his fellow pushed an enormous hand-cart shouting "Newspapers!"

and when the butcher shop had fresh saw shavings on the floor to soak up the spilled blood...

You don't remember this from your own recall ... right? Me neither. Guys like you and Ogg must be really old ... sigh ...

 

[oggbashan]

I can't match all of those, Og, but I remember...

the recycling truck was a junk man on his horsedrawn cart shouting "Bottles! Rags!" as he drove down the streets and his fellow pushed an enormous hand-cart shouting "Newspapers!"

...

One of our local recycling people uses a trailer on his bicycle to collect scrap metal because he's too young to have a driving license. If the item is too large for his trailer he uses his mobile phone to call his uncle who employs him. He and his uncle always tidy up carefully before taking the metal to the grandfather's yard.

When I was a Boy Scout in the UK we used to collect newpapers with a Trek Cart, delivering it to our Scoutmaster's garage. Once we had a ton of newspapers the recyclers would collect it and pay the Scout Troop. In Australia we used to collect beer bottles in each area once a quarter and householders would put them out for us on designated days but the bottles were collected in a father's ute. Australian beer bottles were much more profitable than UK newspapers.

 

[YoursSINSerely]

...when the kid at McDonald's calls you Mame!

 

[kimbalee]

Why my fridge actually ding-dongs if the door is left open!

I also suspect it is downloading porn.

jo, you know it is your cookie dough... quit trying to displace the blame. the fridge is not to be used as a scapegoat, and we all know the purpose for it, buddy.

hope you remember why I am saying this.

 

[Handley_Page]

When the policemen look younger than your children

 

[Tio_Narratore]

When the policemen are younger than your children.

 

[stephen55]

When the policemen are younger than your children.

When the policemen are your grandchildren.

Damn it grandpa!! Is that you again?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

I think we may be establishing the geriatric ward of Literotica here.

 

[oggbashan]

This year is the 60th anniversary of the Festival of Britain. I was there, and remember it.

My great-grandfathers went to the Great Exhibition of 1851 and one of them helped prepare a exhibit there.

Og

 

[ireadit]

You know you're getting old when you have to put your reading glasses on to read something in 12-point font!

 

[TE999]

You know you're getting old when...

Things seem heavier, farther away, harder to read, people mumble all the time and you walk in a room and can't remember why you're there.

People drive too damn fast...everyone's always in a hurry.

All these newfangled electronic gadgets confuse you...and when did they take the dials off telephones?

Everything gives you gas except Jell-O and oatmeal.

When you go Trick or Treating with your grandkids, you ask the people at the door if they have any high fiber candy.

Your only pleasures in life are sitting down, a well done baked potato and a good bowel movement.

You still chase women, but forget why you're doing it.

Things aren't made like they used to be.

The only people you know are all these old farts.

 

[Loring2]

Honest to God!!

I've owned my present car for two and a half years and I still can't change the dashboard clock!!

You're in second place Dr. Steve. My lady friend has gone through 4 time changes. We're ok right now ... it's DST again.

If I drove I'd be compelled to change it but I don't drive anymore because in addition to my OCD I had a TIA a few years ago? Do they go head to head Dr Steve?
Am I a good boy Dr.?