You know youre a smutwriter when ...............

[Guest]

you check your gmail account after hours of writing sex and instead of " spam" you read " spasm"

your turn to share

 

[rgraham666]

When everything makes you consider how it could be used in an erotic situation.

 

[slyc_willie]

You know you're a smutwriter when . . .

You meet an attractive woman at a convenience store and immediately look around for a place for a quickie.

You see someone who looks like a character you described having sex and get an erection.

 

[rgraham666]

You meet an attractive woman at a convenience store and immediately look around for a place for a quickie.

I did that before I became a smut writer.

 

[slyc_willie]

I did that before I became a smut writer.

Er, yeah, well . . . so did I . . . .

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

You have to convince yourself that the few pages you've written leading /up/ to the sex really /are/ necessary

 

[slyc_willie]

. . . you try writing non-erotica and your lead female character inexplicably slips under the table in an interrogation room and gives the questioning detective a blowjob.

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

You see someone who looks like a character you described having sex and get an erection.

Minus the erection part...i completly agree.

You know you're a smut writter when...you reply to a pm your VE sent you and comment how it 'amuses me no end that the last pm you sent was no. 69 in my capacity' (and then have that comment politely ignored lol)

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

When Harry Dick actually gets laid

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

another...

instead of writting 'eroneous shifts of attention' you write 'erogenous'

 

[slyc_willie]

. . . you're reading a science article and swear that the headline reads 'Possibility of Orgasms to Exist on Mars.'

(Margasms?)

 

[slyc_willie]

When Harry Dick actually gets laid

Like THAT'll ever happen . . . .

 

[CharleyH]

... when you resort to the word "cunt".

 

[Aurora Black]

...you're watching TV or a movie and you imagine the characters suddenly dropping everything they're doing to fuck.

 

[cloudy]

When everything that anyone says is immediately taken out of context, and twisted to mean something else entirely.

 

[TE999]

Seeing a banana, carrot or cucumber gives you an idea for a story.

You persistently misspell the word 'come'.

Parents hugging and/or kissing their grown children make you go hmmmm...

Girls in cheerleader outfits or school uniforms...plot line time.

and

The word 'submittal' takes on a whole new meaning.

Peace.

 

[slyc_willie]

. . . when someone asks you to 'come here' and you snigger.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

Dammit! You all used every thought I had! I would read one post, think of something new to add, and then see it in the next post down (or two or three down, whatever).

Maybe when I'm awake tomorrow I can add a real something...

 

[Unsung Muse]

You have difficulty looking a friend/acquaintance/coworker/boss in the eye, because you spent the better part of the previous day imagining/crafting a very detailed description of his or her naked naughty bits

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

you say out loud to yourself "damn I wish I could write a blow job scene as well as she does!" and then realize that not everyone says that.

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

. . . you see a porn DVD and find yourself taking mental notes of actions or sequences that you could use in a story.

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

I think people are mixing "horny" with "smutwriter".

 

[TheeGoatPig]

I think people are mixing "horny" with "smutwriter".

I think they go hand in hand, or hand somewhere else

 

[TE999]

. . . you see a porn DVD and find yourself taking mental notes of actions or sequences that you could use in a story.

That's what slo-mo and freeze frame are for, Roxy (lol).

Peace.

 

[Foxee Browne]

when you start reading those dirty spams in your e-mail and thinking "damn I wished I had thought of that!" instead of deleting them!

CG