You know that your having computer problems when....

[seasparks]

Signs that you are having computer problems:

#1: Your monitor is eating your mouse

#2: Your hard drive is in flames

#3: Your microphone is committing unnatural acts with your speakers

#4: Your CDROM drive keeps opening and closing while demonic laughter echoes around the room

#5: Your modem starts dialing the FBI and leaving little "Fuck You" messages on all their voice mails

#6: See my AV for details

#7: Your floppy drive starts begging for Viagra

#8: Your keyboard bites you when you start typing


Just a little humor to brighten your mornings

 

[oggbashan]

1. When the screen turns as blue as your language.

2. When the message 'fatal error' flashes before your eyes before the screen goes blank and unresponsive.

3. When all you have is a DOS prompt C:>

4. When an error message appears in the hardware manufacturer's language. I have had Swedish, Japanese and Korean.

5. When the internal speaker will not stop beeping.

6. When everything is suddenly very very quiet...

Og

 

[SnoopDog]

- When your screen suddenly turns black and it reads, 'Wake Up Neo....'

Snoopy

 

[BlackSnake]

- When your screen suddenly turns black and it reads, 'Wake Up Neo....'

Snoopy

LOL

 

[Guest]

- When your screen suddenly turns black and it reads, 'Wake Up Neo....'

Snoopy

Good one!

- When previously unheard whirly, clunky sounds emit from the base unit.

Lou

 

[neonlyte]

- When your screen suddenly turns black and it reads, 'Wake Up Neo....'

Snoopy

I resemble that remark...

 

[SnoopDog]

LOL

Good one!

- When previously unheard whirly, clunky sounds emit from the base unit.

Lou

Thnx.

Hey Katie, long time no talk. Hope you're doing fine.



Snoopy

 

[Guest]

Thnx.

Hey Katie, long time no talk. Hope you're doing fine.



Snoopy

Hey, Hon!

Yeah, it's been a while. I'm doing great thanks. Hope you are, too!

Katie-Lou

 

[SnoopDog]

Hey, Hon!

Yeah, it's been a while. I'm doing great thanks. Hope you are, too!

Katie-Lou

That's good to hear, yep I'm doing quite alright.

You know, lying around in the few beams of sun we get over here, being kinda lazy lately....juts like a true puppy.

Snoopy

 

[boxofrocks]

yeah...

and when you're sucking a guy's cock

whoops... wrong window

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Your computer tech suggests he should drill a hole through your computer, so he can install a light and a lampshade.

About the time this thread started, that was what was happening to me.

How do you like my NEW future desk lamp?

 

[cantdog]

Stylin! Cool lamp!

It is astonishin how valueless an old computer is.

 

[Lisa Denton]

When your DSL connection speed keeps dropping all day and gets down to 222K. You spend hours on the phone with idiot techies who say it must be your system. So you spend hours more and dump your operating system and reload windows and fire up a crisp, clean OS and your connect speed is 14K. And yes, I just did this. Its going to take days to load all my programs and tweak em. It took a long time for me to get to the bottom of this page to warn you "BEWARE OF EVIL TECHIES!!" Oh well, they are coming in the morning, I got to go count my bullets.

 

[seasparks]

Don't shoot them. Why waste money on ammunition?

Blade them.. I have a nice scalpel sharp katana that you can borrow...

Or hit them where it really hurts them.. Take a sledgehammer to THEIR computers

 

[Clare Quilty]

You know you have computer problems when...

... you see this thing!

http://www.oberlin.edu/cit/resnet/images/Windows%20XP%20logo2.jpg

 

[Guest]

Quilty: Taking this opp. to thank you for recommending Firefox. I've had it for a couple weeks and can't imagine going back to IE or using anything else. Love the tabbing and renaming bookmarks.

Thanks! Perdita

 

[Clare Quilty]

Quilty: Taking this opp. to thank you for recommending Firefox. I've had it for a couple weeks and can't imagine going back to IE or using anything else. Love the tabbing and renaming bookmarks.

Thanks! Perdita

You're welcome. Using IE is akin to walking a mine field. IE's security problems notwithstanding, FireFox is still a better, faster, less bloated, more full featured and morally superior browser. Have you tried the extensions for dictionary search and mouse gestures? I find those features invaluable.

Briefly, mouse gestures enables one to navigate back and forth to previously opened pages, open blank tabs, or open a completely new instance of FF.

Dictionary Search adds several fully configurable search options to one's right click context menu. For instance, in another of your post the word polysyndeton appears. Having no clue what a syndeton was, let alone a polysyndeton, I double-clicked to highlight the word, right-clicked to bring up the context menu and selected Merriam-Webster's Online dictionary from four choices. Et Voila! the dictionary entry pops up in another tab. Despite the name, one isn't restricted merely to dictionaries. You can configure this extension to look up the selected word in any online resource that uses a URL to send the chosen word to the server--quotation dictionaries, online language translators, encyclopaedias, etc....

 

[Teenage Venus]

When your aquarium screensaver leaks water onto your keyboard and drowns your mouse.

 

[Guest]

Have you tried the extensions for dictionary search and mouse gestures?
Would you give me the names of those you use?

gracias, P.

 

[Clare Quilty]

gracias, P.

• dictionary search
• mouse gestures
• dom inspector
• IEview
• single window

De nada, C.

Procuré contestar a su mensaje privado. Su caja, sin embargo, era llena.

 

[Guest]

Procuré contestar a su mensaje privado. Su caja, sin embargo, era llena.

Señor Q., mi caja es vacía ahora; ¡grazias!

Perdita (rose held in teeth)

 

[Colleen Thomas]

When you trun the machine on, it makes a ghostly wailingnoise, followed by ominous creaks & chirps periodically through the day and your cats now avoid the room and stare at your computer like it's demon possessed.

-Colly

 

[Lisa Denton]

When you trun the machine on, it makes a ghostly wailingnoise, followed by ominous creaks & chirps periodically through the day and your cats now avoid the room and stare at your computer like it's demon possessed.

-Colly

I take it this isn't one of your cats?

 

[Colleen Thomas]

I take it this isn't one of your cats?

LOL,

exacaticly

 

[Lisa Denton]

LOL,

exacaticly

Oh well, I got a nice new XP OS and my DSL is back up to speed and most of my programs re-installed. I guess I can't complain here any more, bye everybody!!!