You know, people can just be real jerks sometimes...

[lilminx]

I'm on an online dating service. I am very clear and concise about what I like and don't like, and I make it clear that I need to see a picture of the person, as mine is posted in my profile. Well, this guy starts IMing me on the service's IM site. Hhe doesn't have a picture posted, so when I ask him for one, he tells me that something is wrong with his aol and he can't send one right now.

So we're talking, and we take it over to AIM. Well, he asks me if we could possibly meet or something, and I tell him, "not without seeing your pics". Well, somehow he is able to send them, and while he wasn't a badlooking guy, he's just not appealing to me.

Well, I told him he's not my type, then he tries to tell me that he has a big cock. I asked him if he thinks that telling me that is going to make me jump all over him, and he says, "yes". I told him that I'm not just interested in sex, and I've BTDT with a guy with a big cock.

Ok- so it continues- he persists about it... I tell him that I have to be drawn to the person, and that every time I take a chance and decide to meet with someone whose pics I'm not really drawn to, I'm disappointed. So then he tells me this (his exact words) : "and are u actually able to get this person more often than not? I mean, let's be realistic- I am not trying to be rude, but you're not exactly beautiful... I am realistic about who I can and can't get, and you aren't even close to being out of my league".

I felt like he was trying to insult me just because I wasn't attracted to him. He then proceeds to tell me that he's dated women who he considers better-looking than me, bleah bleah bleah. I tell him that's great for him. Then he tells me that he met a toned, gorgeous, athletic brunette last week from the site but she's been on vacation so he hasn't been able to hang out with her, etc etc etc... I stopped responding to him.

Is it me, or is this guy fucked up? I mean, I don't get all defensive when a guy tells me I'm not his type. Not everyone can be to everyone else's tastes.

 

[Rick DeVille]

You are selling yourself short here

 

[Meltzer]

this dude is desperate. and that brunette he met. was probably some chick in a porn he got off to last week. dont let some lonely loser get you done.

 

[Meltzer]

i mean down. dont let him get you down.

 

[Nora]

He was just working off embarrassment, lilminx. We all say stupid stuff when we're embarrassed. It's the "sour grapes" syndrome.

um...what's BTDT though? I feel really dumb...


ach... it came to me right as I hit submit. See? I'm dumbbbb! (been there, done that?)

 

[intrigued]

Nah, let it go. His feelings were hurt, thats all, though he was a bit immature about it. I too use a couple dating sites, and the guys that approach me in a physical manner right off the bat don't even get a response. My ads are very concise too, so if they cannot read, its not my problem. What REALLY gets me though are those that choose to overlook that I am not interested in more married men, or those that only want a playmate, or those in another country. It seems that is all I ever attract.

Keep at it, its time consuming and frustrating, but often in the midst of it all, you make a friend or two.

 

[Rubyfruit]

But wait, he had a big cock?

 

[Rick DeVille]

I don't think she said that

 

[erosman]

Believe in yourself, minxie. You are fine.

Bullshitters are a dime a dozen...hell, maybe even a gross.

 

[Oilpainter]

You are absolutly right Lilminx-this guy is an idiot. He obviously does not have a clue about life and certainly has no idea what type of person you are . I agree with the others-his reaction that your not out of his league and that he has all these beautiful women was a kneejerk reaction caused by his embarassement. If he acts this way toward a straight forward reaction from you imagine how possible twisted he might be in other areas of his life. I think your gut reaction was good here. good luck my friend.

 

[lilminx]

You are selling yourself short here

What do you mean? How am I selling myself short?

 

[lilminx]

And yes, Rubes, he SAID he had a big cock. That doesn't mean that he does, though. Anyway, I went out with a far better-looking and nicer guy than him who was very well-endowed; I don't need this schmuck for that- lol.

 

[Rick DeVille]

What do you mean? How am I selling myself short?

You're an intelligent, witty, sexy woman - why do this shit?

 

[Rubyfruit]

Minxie, Intrigued was right. He was hurt (can you blame him?) and was on the defensive.

Just let it go. You're such an amazing woman and have so much to offer. Mr. (Ms?) right is around the corner.

 

[lilminx]

You're an intelligent, witty, sexy woman - why do this shit?

Thanks, but what are you saying? Why do the online dating? Becasue I can't fucking meet anyone I like when I go out in the city. No one except for women in NYC understand that it's not easy to meet people they like here. It really isn't.

You know, I don't understand him being hurt. I wasn't mean, and I've been told that I'm not someone's type. It's not anything personally against me, but I'm just not to their tastes. Big deal- get over it and move on.

 

[Rubyfruit]

But Minxie, you're mature. He's obviously not. Immature people will lash out when faced with rejection.

 

[lilminx]

Rubes, you're right. I guess I just got annoyed with him because he felt the need to insult me with something so silly. The pic that I have up there isn't the best- I've been told that it doesn't do me justice(Perky told me so, so it must be true ), but I've shown it to people and they've said that I'm very pretty- beautiful, even. I'm not saying that I think that- don't get me wrong, I don't think I'm ugly, but I think that "beautiful" is exaggerating. I just think that what he said was harsh and untrue.

 

[Debbie]

I agree with intrigued. His feelings were hurt and he blurted stuff out he probably wouldn't normally have done.

I think you're purdy, haven't seen a pic and I don't need to.
I agree with Rick DeVille, you are a witty, intelligent sexy woman.
Come to New Zealand and I'll find you a nice kiwi guy
or gal.

 

[ma_guy]

Forget the looser. You hurt his feelings and he took a swipe at you because it was his only way of "eveing the score" with you.

I've used several on-line dating services over the last 3 years and frankly, they all suck. Well, maybe it's just the whole idea that sucks. Most of them are just on-line meat markets that seem to attract a high percentage of jerks.

I know a few guys that send messages to every woman that lists in the hopes that maybe one of them will respond. All that does is piss the women off even more causing the decent guys to give up and leave.

The odds of finding someone on those sites has got to be way worse than any bar/niteclub.

 

[Rambrat]

[B
Is it me, or is this guy fucked up? I mean, I don't get all defensive when a guy tells me I'm not his type. Not everyone can be to everyone else's tastes. [/B]

He's a dick lilminx!

He was swating back because he felt insulted even though you were trying to be polite. You're right, not everyone can be to everyone else's tastes. Look at me. Ha...I mean, not everyone would want me.

No...no...I know it's hard to believe...but it's true...

 

[sexy-girl]

nobody likes any kind of rejection however polite you are ... when lisa and i have been out together we've had guys get insulted when we've had to tell them we're "with" eachother ... something about two girls out together seems to make guys think we're looking to meet people i guess

lilminx you didnt do anything wrong though i wouldnt let it bother you just be careful

 

[BigDawg69]

Clearly this guy is both blind and stupid! Don't give him any further thought or consideration. What has been said here is totally true. This guy started lying probably from the point he said he had a big cock, and the line about you not being out of his league? BULLSHIT! Even not knowing what this guy looked like, clearly mentally and emotionally your playing in the Big Leagues and he's stuck swinging at a ball sitting on a Tee!

Fuhgeddabout him! That's what I say.

Oh and take a vacation to Florida.

 

[lilminx]

Thank you all for the kind words. You're all being so sweet, and I'm glad that I'm not crazy, thinking this guy is a total fucktard.

 

[amelia]

what's BTDT?

been there....done that

 

[Persephone36]

Rubes, you're right. I guess I just got annoyed with him because he felt the need to insult me with something so silly. The pic that I have up there isn't the best- I've been told that it doesn't do me justice(Perky told me so, so it must be true ), but I've shown it to people and they've said that I'm very pretty- beautiful, even. I'm not saying that I think that- don't get me wrong, I don't think I'm ugly, but I think that "beautiful" is exaggerating. I just think that what he said was harsh and untrue.

Sweety, you got it all twisted though -- because it doesn't matter a flying fuck if ANYONE thinks you're beautiful or not -- as long as you love who you are. The outside and the inside.

Yeah, sure we *all* fall into the trap of wanting to be told we're attractive. Hence -- every person who comes on this board *begging* to be told how attractive they are, lol. I mean, to want a bunch of complete strangers to reinforce your sense of your own attractiveness is insane, right? To just want complete strangers (whose tastes and opinions none of us really *know*) to reinforce a physical standard of attractiveness we hope we meet up to is double insane.

But we all (or most of us) do it. If not in this forum, then in our daily lives. It's human. Still, you've got to not buy into the creeps out there who manipulate you into feeling weird that you DO think you're attractive. Get it? It's their emotional manipulation in an attempt to get you to give them what you won't. Ignore it.

All our lives people will tell us that we're not good looking enough for them or that they think we're out of their league. It's all bs. You can turn someone down without insulting them and with recognizing that your opinion of who is and isn't attractive in this world is completely subjective and totally personal. What any of us think about anyone else is no comment on their innate worthiness or attractiveness as a person. It's simply an opinion.

All that said -- it sucks being out there trying to date. (And I'm *oh* so happy to be right back in that pool!) Just try to ignore the idiots.