YOU DECIDE-Chyoo Elections 2004

[lostandfounder]

A long haired hippy stand at a podium.

Ahem...I, LostandFounder, writer and editor of "Venus Rising" and "Love Under GrAy Skies, as well a contributer to many other stories, both great and small, am here to announce my canaidcy for president of Chyoo on the "Evil Overlord" party ticket.

In these troubled times for Chyoo, I Lostandfounder have a plan. A plan to bring hope and prosperity to Chyoo, to make Chyoo a site we can be proud to be a part of.

First, Chyoo will get some advertisments. Ads bring money, and money brings support. As we all know, support has been lacking in Chyoo recently...Okay, maybe recently isn't quite accurate. But the knowledge that advertisers willbe watching over the site will greatly incease the regularity of updates.

I will also make sure that links to both the forums and the main literotica page will be implented. I will see to it that nonexistant stories are removed, and that the rating system is upgraded.

Lastly, stories will become sexier and hotter under my tyranical...I mean benevolent rule. More lesbians, more celebs, bigger breasts and longer cocks. All you need to do is vote for me and a new dawn of prosperity will usher in for Chyoo.

Thank you and vote for me if I ever decide to follow this up with an election thread(Fools, soon I will be in control...bwahahahaha!)

I'm lostandfounder and I approved this message


Now it's time to hear from another canidate or ask some questions.

 

[madcap902]

The Better Choice!

I will make all of those promises and more.

I will go so far, as to insure that no STD's can be contracted from use of the site. That's right my friends, Sexually Transmitted Diseases will be a thing of the past at Chyoo. Right now, I have a plan already drawn up that will help implement this.

Next, I can promise that there will be no new taxes for the Chyoo user. I have a plan made to where I can provide all of these new services without charging anymore to the Chyoo User. This not only helps to keep money in the pockets of our great populace, but will help provide new growth, and therefore a Bigger, Better Chyoo.

I'm also going to implement free transportation to and from the Chyoo Homepage. Yes, no longer will you have to pay to go from one page to another. And this is something that only I can bring you.

So as you can see, everyone should vote for me.

A vote for MADCAP, is a vote for a greater Chyoo.

I'm Madcap, and I approved this message.

Message brought to you by the Madcap for Chyoo President Campaign.

 

[brevdravis]

A spiky haired guy clomps up to the podium. In his hand he holds a large green beer can with an "F" prominently displayed on it. He smiles at the crowd, takes a swig, and begins.

Snort... (Taps mike) Is this thing on? Okay, do you wanna rock and ROLL!!!

Sorry, sorry, old habits die hard you know. I Brevdravis, also known as Stuart, offer my candidacy for Chyoo president.

I'm running under the Silly party platform, which involves hamsters and wiffle ball bats for cheese doodles. I hope you all understood that because I'm reading off cue cards. Wait for laugh. Oh, wait, I wasn't supossed to read that?

Here at Chyoo we face troubled times. The disappearance of the two first ladies has been a great shock to us all. I know that in our hearts we all hope and pray for the return of OoohKitty and Dacia. I intend as my first act as Chyoo president to launch a full fledged search, and when I find them, chain them to a computer until...... I mean, uh respectfully request their writing services which we all miss very much.

(aside) Not funny, Frank... Fire the jackass at the teleprompter.

Overall I feel that what Chyoo needs is bigger, longer and harder threads. Threads that make women weep with desire and men to feel inadequate! We need stories! Updated stories! Stories that spark the creativity of everybody!

(Somberly) I think we have all faced the scourge of the non-spell checked threads. I myself have been guilty of that error of omission. I was young, inexperienced, and everybody was doing it. I have learned from my errors, but now that I have the power I will SMITE.... Uh, I mean uh, perhaps an intergrated spell checker would be an admirable solution.

(aside) New guy isn't funny, Frank! Fire him too!

In closing, let me say that the authors are what keep this site going. If elected, I will personally send four hot beautiful women to each authors place of residence to stand over him or her while they are sleeping. If the author wakes up, they will of course have noticed this beforehand and will conveniently be out of the room. They may be beautiful, hot, with dynamite curves, and happen to enjoy playing with each other, but they're a little shy. This is just one of the many services that I will provide as president!

Vote Brev! It's got the same number of letters as Bush! And they start with the same letter! What more do you need? Me to be govenor of Florida or somethin?

I'm Brevdravis/AKA Stuart, and I was knocked out when my cat wrote this message.

 

[niceguy2002tim]

Tim sat back in his seat and put his feet up on the back of the chair in front of him. He was quite relaxed, because he wasn't running for candidacy. On the stage Brevdravis whizzed off a joke about Florida or something or rather.

"We need a beautiful person to run this site," Tim said half to the person next to him and half to himself. "Where are all the ladies?" he added.

Inside his mind Tim was debating on which of the 3 men to speak so far would be best for the position. Position... a word that brought his mind back to sex. He thought about what position he'd like to have a woman in...

"I'm Brevdravis/AKA Stuart, and I was knocked out when my cat wrote this message," said Stuart as he walked away from the podium, leaving it open for the next person.

Next to step up was...

 

[Sim8425]

Sim8425

Next to step up was Sim8425. He confidently walked up to the podium. He stretched his vocal muscles, as he prepared to unleash as much charisma as possible upon the 'People of Chyoo'. He shuffled his notes, preparing and setting them, as he began to energetically read...

Vote for me, Sim8425 for Prime Minister of Chyoo! I refuse to use the term 'President' as my Canadian pride is strong! I plan on bringing flavour back into Chyoo! I want to transform the dreadful black and white design into a colourful one, preferably red and white.

I will allow gay marriages in stories, as I hold no biases. Everyone shall be treated equally because there will not be any prejudices within my vision for Chyoo!

I will raise the standards of education for our young bright writers at Chyoo. I will open a retirement fund for our older writers whom are on the edge of retirement. They shall be compensated for their great contributions to Chyoo! My police force shall imprison the evil goldfinger, whom illegally manages to place his dead stories onto the 'Top 5 List'.

I will insure the safety of the writers, as I will try to get a better healthcare system implemented. Those hand cramps, finger cramps, and back problems shall be treated, they cannot and shall not go unnoticed! Make sure you write my name on the ballot, as I am the one who tackles the tough issues.

Vote for Sim8425 for a better Chyoo and a better future!

(This message was brought to you by Team Sim8425)

 

[daciasdesire]

Dacia had been listening to the speeches of the candidates for the Chyoo Presidency up the back of the hall, hidden amongst the deep blue curtains. It wasn't until she noticed Tim (aka Niceguy2002tim) sitting in the audience that she made her way fully into the hall and sat down next to him.

"Hey Tim," Dacia began.
"Oh hi Dacia. I didn't see you come in," Tim returned.
"Yeah I was watching from the back and wasn’t sure I would recognize anyone."

Dacia had first met Tim at the extremely eventful Chyoo Ball that had launched the campaign for the Chyoo Presidency.

"Did you hear Stuart call you and Kitty the first ladies of Chyoo?"
"Yeah I did," Dacia replied, blushing at the mention of Kitty's name, remembering back to what she and Kitty had got up to at the ball.
"How is Kitty by the way? Still keeping in contact?" Tim continued pressing his advantage with a smirk.
Dacia coloured an even darker shade of red. "Um Good. Ah Yes urr No. Um Shut Up."

"Not running for presidency Tim?" Dacia asked to quickly change the subject after a moment silence.
"No," Tim said looking down caste.
"Would allow you to run in the Eradication Of Lilguy Party hey?" Dacia said smirking herself now.
"No," Tim replied looking even more down caste.

"So who's got your vote so far?" Tim asked, this time him changing the subject.
"Well I like what Sim8425 has got to say, not sure about the whole gay marriage thing though. Brev did make a good speech and, well, he did stoke my ego after all. I think I'll have to write him a thread for that afterwards. I'm still waiting to hear what Gystex has to say. I considered him the unofficial president of the Chyoo Writers Guild anyway."
"Yeah me too," Tim echoed.

They continued chatting about the policies of each candidate as the next person took the stage…

 

[lostandfounder]

Scandle!

Suddenly a reporter from the back stands up and asks Lostandfounder a question.

"Mr. Founder, it has been brought to my attention by an annoymous source, that you haven't always been know as Lostandfounder."

"Yes, it is true that I write in Chyoo as Lostandfound and on the boards as Lostandfounder, it was a mistake I made, and I have freely and openly admited to that fact."

The reporter say, "No, I mean the first few threads you wrote were under the name 'vh7734'"

A gasp rings out from the crowd.

"How, how did you find out about that? Who told you?"

"So it's true then?"

"No, I mean yes, I mean... I,I,...That's.... It's in the past, I was young and foolish.... Your attempts to smear my name will fail...I have a suprise annoucement to make....uhhhh...I have decide to have Ooohkitty as my running mate! Yeah, that's it! The first ever female vice president of Chyoo! That's right my friends,vote for me and a new dawn of equality will spread over Chyoo! The sun will be brighter and the air will taste sweeter as women will finally get an equal voice! Vote for the progressive canidate! Vote for Lostandfounder!"

 

[niceguy2002tim]

Tim turned to Dacia who had a similar shocked look on her face.

"Can you believe that!?"

"No... Ooohkitty as Vice President!" Dacia said excitedly.

"Not that. I mean Lostandfound using the vh7734. I didn't think people would make more than one Pseudonym for Chyoo. I mean who does that?" Tim responded.

"Oh that. I wonder what vh7734 is anyway."

"You know, that is a good question," Tim said dropping his hand on to Dacia's knee. He sat back and said no more as he watched the next person climb the stairs. He hoped Dacia was oblivious to his hand slowly working its way up her leg.

 

[niceguy2002tim]

Tim looked around, wondering when the next person would take the stage. He decided that maybe there was nobody left. He considered the current options as his hand slipped a little further up Dacia's thigh.