You Could Become America's Next Best Selling Author and Reality Show TV Celebrity!

[Rumple Foreskin]

"The newest reality TV show, Book Millionaire, is providing applications and holding casting calls for people who want to become published authors or those who are published and want to achieve best selling status."

No, I'm not making this up. Check it out at,

Bookmillionaire

Just another fine service of
No Hope Enterprises
Rumple Foreskin CPO (chief porn obtainer)

 

[dreampilot79]

I don't even wanna think about what they have planned for the poor happless entrants!!!!

 

[Guest]

Applied.

Edit: Does that sound desperate?

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Applied.

Edit: Does that sound desperate?

Either desperate or you've adopted the mantra of that great Zen Master, Paul Revere and the Raiders, w/Mark Lindsey, who so wisely observed that, "Kicks just keep getting harder to find."

Rumple "full lotus" Foreskin

 

[SeaCat]

After looking at that website I had the strange cumpulsion to take a shower, run both my anti-spyware and anti virus software, and clean my monitor.

In other words, no thanks. I prefer to stay a poor hungry porn writer. I do have standards you know.

Cat

 

[cantdog]

Bravo, cat

My respect level has just risen another notch. For whatever that's worth.

 

[elsol]

*burp*

Until of course, this becomes the biggest thing and the schlub who wins actually does manage to get on the NYT Bestseller list.

That's the problem with reality television... it sort of ridiculous until you realize these people are paid for being who they are.

If you're going to be fucking moron, what's wrong with getting cash for it.

It's better than being on COPS after having been blown by a guy in a 2 dollar wig who you thought was the best looking hooker you had ever seen after 2 six-packs and a shot of yaygermeister.

Sincerely,
ElSol

 

[Dar~]

That is awful sounding. I would want to be an author based on talent, not reality TV style competitions.

 

[elsol]

That is awful sounding. I would want to be an author based on talent, not reality TV style competitions.

Talent opens some doors, but nepotism opens more.

Sincerely,
ElSol

 

[minsue]

Rumple "full lotus" Foreskin

I demand pictorial proof.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

I demand pictorial proof.

Goose Girl,

I'm stunned anyone would doubt the beloved AH Patriarch, Rumple "full lotus" Foreskin. But if you insist on pictorial proof, cast thine eyes upon this, oh, ye of little faith.


http://www.lotusmedicine.com/lotus_flower_wavybdr.jpg


Rumple "vindicated" Foreskin

 

[Boota]

Talent will only get you so far. The world is full of talented writers you will never hear of. I'm signing up. Whatever happens happens. It takes no committment to find out more info. I'd be very careful of the contract, though. It could have something like 'anything that is written while on the show is property of the show'. Fuck that. It's worth looking into. I'm not the slightest bit interested in being a literary genius. I want people to actually read my stories for enjoyment, not because some stuffy teacher made them do it.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

I just got back from clicking on the link supplied.

Why do I feel exactly like I did the time I swam at a lake where the swimming area had become infested with leeches.


Yuck!


Added for Boota:


Don’t forget that this is for an American reality show.

First they will treat you as a moron, get you to make as big an ass of yourself as you can stand, make you cut up and tear down all your competition, while they do the same for you, until only inveterate car wreck watchers can stomach watching the program.

Then, if it seems like there is even a remote possibility that you could win, some right-minded contestant will reveal that you once published dirty stories on a PORN site. Overnight, you will become the most notorious lecher since Paul Reubens reached in his pocket at the movies for the wrong gummi-bear.

 

[Rubyb]

Applied.

Edit: Does that sound desperate?

Not at all.

Now the important questions...

Do you really want to be on this show?
Did you know that there will be voting by e-mail on who makes it?

If you really want it, then open a thread and encouage people to vote for you.
You'll of course have to tell them the name you used.

http://www.bookmillionaire.com/YourVoteCounts.html
is the link they use to sign up for voting rights

If you don't mind everyone knowing who you are in these forums and are ready to be exposed as a writer of erotica, then, hey, go for it.

To your success,

Ruby

 

[LadyJeanne]

Either desperate or you've adopted the mantra of that great Zen Master, Paul Revere and the Raiders, w/Mark Lindsey, who so wisely observed that, "Kicks just keep getting harder to find."

Rumple "full lotus" Foreskin

Didn't the Monkees have a song with that line in it? Was that a remake?

 

[Liar]

Wow. That was crappy web design if I ever saw any.

Which makes me think it's actually for real. It reads like an Onion hoax, but they would had make it look more visually plausible than that. Looks more like a targeted email collection hoax for spam than anything else.

I'm so not biting.

#L

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Didn't the Monkees have a song with that line in it? Was that a remake?

Kicks
by Paul Revere And The Raiders
Original Release: May 1967


You thought you found the answer on that magic carpet ride last night,
But, when you wake up in the morning, the world still gets you uptight,
Well, there's nothing that you ain't tried
To fill the emptiness inside,
But, when you come back down, you still ain't feeling right.

It seems like kicks just keep getting harder to find,
All your kicks ain't bringing you peace of mind,
Before you find out it's too late,
You'd better get straight,
But, not with kicks, you just need help now.

You think you're gonna find yourself a little piece of paradise,
But, it ain't happened yet, so now you'd better think twice,
Don't you see, no matter what you do,
You'll never run away from you
If you keep on running, you'll have to pay the price.

Don't it seem like, kicks just keep getting harder to find,
All your kicks ain't bringing you peace of mind,
Before you find out it's too late,
You'd better get straight,
But, not with kicks.

To help you face the world each day,
That road goes nowhere,
I'm gonna help you find yourself another way.

Kicks just keep getting harder to find
You don't need kicks, now,
And all your kicks ain't bringing you peace of mind
You just need help, now,
Before you find out it's too late, you'd better get straight
You'd better, you'd better, you'd better.

Kicks just keep getting harder to find
You don't need kicks, now,
And all your kicks ain't bringing you peace of mind
You just need help, now,
Before you find out it's too late, you'd better get straight
You'd better, you'd better, you'd better.

Kicks just keep getting harder to find
And all your kicks ain't bringing you peace of mind
Before you find out it's too late, you'd better get straight

Kicks just keep getting harder to find
And all your kicks ain't bringing you peace of mind
Before you find out it's too late, you'd better get straight

Fade out...






Monkee's version of "Kicks" released in August 1986 on "THEN AND NOW...THE BEST OF THE MONKEES"

 

[LadyJeanne]

Fade out...

Monkee's version of "Kicks" released in August 1986 on "THEN AND NOW...THE BEST OF THE MONKEES"

Thanks, VB!

That song sounds way more depressing than I remembered it, though.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Thanks, VB!
That song sounds way more depressing than I remembered it, though.

I heard the Paul Revere version. It was very upbeat, despite the lyrics.

Sort of like the "I-Feel-Like-I'm-Fixin'-To-Die Rag" by Country Joe & The Fish

Chorus

And it's one, two, three
What are we fighting for ?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Next stop is Vietnam.
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Well there ain't no time to wonder why,
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Burley,

Thanks for the accuracy check. What's really depressing about Kicks, is that Mann and Weils, the same husband-wife team who wrote it, also wrote, among others:

You've Lost That Loving Feeling - Righteous Brothers
We Got To Get Out of This Place - The Animals
Hungry - Paul Revere and the Raiders
Uptown - The Crystals
Here You Come Again - Dolly Parton
On Broadway - The Drifters / George Benson
Somewhere Out There - Linda Ronstadt

And they're still married and writing.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[arienette]

What will they think of next?