You are the executive vice president for programing

[Guest]

of a large us corporation that has just taken control of every cable network in the US along with controlling interest in ABC, CBS, and NBC. Lets just forget the word monopoly for now. This is just for fun. Oh, and by the way the head of the FCC was just given a non-voting seat on your board of directors and a hefty seven figure salary to go with it.

You have complete control of ALL programing decisions. What do you do?

I'll start....

Lifetime is replaced by the Hot Naked Babes In Heels network.

Coverage of bowling, golf, and Major League Baseball is banned. Unless it is being played by Hot naked Babes in Heels in which case it can be aired on the above network.

History Channel is just that History.

A & E is all about foriegn art films 24/7

and Ozzy gets his own channel

 

[Calamity Jane]

I launch WTTN (The White Trash Television Network)

Dukes of Hazzard, Cops, and When Animals Attack 24 hours a day

 

[Zephan]

Sorry this was my post

This is the second time this has happened to me in 2 days. I signed in what the hell am I doing wrong?

 

[Mensa]

I launch WTTN (The White Trash Television Network)

Dukes of Hazzard, Cops, and When Animals Attack 24 hours a day

Wasn't that what TNN became?

 

[Azwed]

Wasn't that what TNN became?

No dude it has Star Trek TNG, BayWatch, The WWF and oh wait yeah sorry never mind.

 

[Calamity Jane]

Wasn't that what TNN became?

Is it? Damn. I knew I shouldn't comment since I haven't even seen cable TV in years.

 

[Azwed]

The History channel rocks and Baseball is ok for the PlayOffs. I would force the League to introduce a salary cap if they want air time.

 

[pabloback]

the wrestling channel
redneck racing channel..........let a load of rednecks loose on a super speedway with a nascar engined truck and a case of beer each and unlimited shotgun rounds , $1,000,000
prize for the last man standing

 

[Calamity Jane]

Pablo... can we have some demo derby too? All good rednecks love the derby, right?

 

[Zephan]

I'd watch that!

Good idea

 

[Azwed]

One mile standing drag on airport runways.

 

[Throbbin_Rod]

I'll start....

Lifetime is replaced by the Hot Naked Babes In Heels network.

Coverage of bowling, golf, and Major League Baseball is banned. Unless it is being played by Hot naked Babes in Heels in which case it can be aired on the above network.

History Channel is just that History.

A & E is all about foriegn art films 24/7

and Ozzy gets his own channel

Figure Skating is replaced by Hot Naked Babe Oil Wrestling at the Winter Olympics.

Sweden actually fields a Bikini Team.

Laurie Dhue does the news updates nekkid.

Oprah is out on her ass. So is Rosie.

Home Garden TV is replaced by the Hooters Network

 

[pabloback]

i did once see the motorcycle demolition derby and the schoolbus demo derby in daytona once , along with live coleslaw wrestling , hey , two more sports channels
RSN..............redneck sports network sponsored by duff beer woohoo!!!

 

[Calamity Jane]

i did once see the motorcycle demolition derby and the schoolbus demo derby in daytona once , along with live coleslaw wrestling , hey , two more sports channels
RSN..............redneck sports network sponsored by duff beer woohoo!!!

I love watching school bus derbies. I'm thinkin a motorcycle one would hurt though

 

[Weird Harold]

Re: Re: You are the executive vice president for programing

Home Garden TV is replaced by the Hooters Network

Hey! HGTV runs classic episodes of This Old House and other shows featuring power tools -- you couldn't possibly want to ban that, could you?

 

[ExLimey]

Re: Re: Re: You are the executive vice president for programing

Hey! HGTV runs classic episodes of This Old House and other shows featuring power tools -- you couldn't possibly want to ban that, could you?

No, but how about the This Old Channel with nothing but This Old House 24/7.

The New Yankee Channel as well. Can't get enough of Norm

 

[freescorfr]

The Foresyte Saga - nude version
Pride and Prejudice - nude version

World cup soccer - costume drama

But I don't know what the hell I'm talking about since I've never watched US telly.

 

[Ishmael]

hehe

Ben Stein, 24/7 all channels. We'd all learn to entertain ourselves again.

Ishmael

 

[scylis]

and Ozzy gets his own channel

the only decent suggestion you made.

"I tend to mind my own business, but I think guys who wear really cheap fucking hairpieces or try to hide their bald spots by growing the side bit and combing it over the top of their fucking head - they're, like, fucking idiots. Why don't they just fucking shave their heads and fucking get on with it? When they grow that one piece of hair long on the side of their head and glue it to their fucking forehead and then the wind blows.. what a fucking joke. I mean, if I was to start losing my hair, I'd just fucking zap it all off. I wouldn't wear a fucking hairpiece. In rock 'n' roll, when the singer starts wearing a hat, you know he's going bald. Years ago there was a band in England and this guy was losing his hair. I said, 'You know, you would look fucking meaner if you were to shave your fucking head bald.' And he did. Years later he comes to me and he goes, 'Fucking hell, Ozzy, I'm glad you gave me that bit of advice. Now people fucking come up to me with fear in their fucking eyes, you know?' I've shaved my head bald twice in my life - right down to the wood. I think we gave away the hair in a competition. People get out of the fucking way when you're walking down the road, because they think you're a fucking crazy guy."
-Ozzy

 

[Azwed]

Re: Re: You are the executive vice president for programing

the only decent suggestion you made.

"I tend to mind my own business, but I think guys who wear really cheap fucking hairpieces or try to hide their bald spots by growing the side bit and combing it over the top of their fucking head - they're, like, fucking idiots. Why don't they just fucking shave their heads and fucking get on with it? When they grow that one piece of hair long on the side of their head and glue it to their fucking forehead and then the wind blows.. what a fucking joke. I mean, if I was to start losing my hair, I'd just fucking zap it all off. I wouldn't wear a fucking hairpiece. In rock 'n' roll, when the singer starts wearing a hat, you know he's going bald. Years ago there was a band in England and this guy was losing his hair. I said, 'You know, you would look fucking meaner if you were to shave your fucking head bald.' And he did. Years later he comes to me and he goes, 'Fucking hell, Ozzy, I'm glad you gave me that bit of advice. Now people fucking come up to me with fear in their fucking eyes, you know?' I've shaved my head bald twice in my life - right down to the wood. I think we gave away the hair in a competition. People get out of the fucking way when you're walking down the road, because they think you're a fucking crazy guy."
-Ozzy

I would get out of the way of ozzy because he is a fucking crazy guy.

 

[bored1]

Re: Re: Re: Re: You are the executive vice president for programing

No, but how about the This Old Channel with nothing but This Old House 24/7.

The New Yankee Channel as well. Can't get enough of Norm

Norm is so cool, He does great work, and no matter what hes building its always done in a half hour

 

[Throbbin_Rod]

Re: Re: You are the executive vice president for programing

the only decent suggestion you made.

"I tend to mind my own business, but I think guys who wear really cheap fucking hairpieces or try to hide their bald spots by growing the side bit and combing it over the top of their fucking head - they're, like, fucking idiots. Why don't they just fucking shave their heads and fucking get on with it? When they grow that one piece of hair long on the side of their head and glue it to their fucking forehead and then the wind blows.. what a fucking joke. I mean, if I was to start losing my hair, I'd just fucking zap it all off. I wouldn't wear a fucking hairpiece. In rock 'n' roll, when the singer starts wearing a hat, you know he's going bald. Years ago there was a band in England and this guy was losing his hair. I said, 'You know, you would look fucking meaner if you were to shave your fucking head bald.' And he did. Years later he comes to me and he goes, 'Fucking hell, Ozzy, I'm glad you gave me that bit of advice. Now people fucking come up to me with fear in their fucking eyes, you know?' I've shaved my head bald twice in my life - right down to the wood. I think we gave away the hair in a competition. People get out of the fucking way when you're walking down the road, because they think you're a fucking crazy guy."
-Ozzy

That's got to be some kind of record.