You and the world we knew will glow

[Noor]

Till my life is through


I am finding myself singing this song tonight as I prepare for the week's events. I can almost hear his voice reminding me of things I need to do.

I lit a candle on his death anniversary in the Hebrew calendar because he would have liked that. I let mourning go as much as I could, but still this week is hard, Friday will be a year in the Gregorian calendar.

It was the first day of a con I go to every year, so it is tied into that in a way.
Even I have gone for many years, I am not a big sci fi fan, and I really didn't know what all the parties referred to until last year when he looked at the list and explained every one of them. Some we watched the show or movie related to it.

"And someday if I should love, it's you I'll be dreaming of,
For you're all I'll see from this day on.
These hurried hours were all the life we could share.
Still, I will go with not a tear, just a prayer
That when we are far apart, you'll find something from your heart
Has gone! Gone with me from this day on."

It doesn't seem like it could be a year, it still seems like yesterday and forever.

 

[parodyluvr75]

A mourning heart never seems to move linear, it would be easier if it did. Keep holding onto the good. The anniversaries are hard, it's not like you think of them on purpose, they creep up. I had one just pass myself. And those feeling are strange: fresh, old, sharp and nagging, even after years.

Keep holding onto the good, how he changed you for the better. And remember he loved you and he wants you to be happy. Hold onto the you, the you, you were when you were with him. I know it's not easy, I'm so sorry that you have such a difficult path.

You should have had years.

You know my pm box is always open for you, lady T-Rex.

 

[neci]

I was drunk dialed by some cunt a few nights ago, looking for you. It was asshole negative energy at its finest. I love you.

 

[Noor]

Thanks Birdie!

Neci is the love you speak of for the ghostie, one of us, the drunk dialer or
putin? We all love you too, except maybe putin, not sure putin actually loves...

 

[neci]

Putin is a bully.

 

[parodyluvr75]

Putin has been drunk dialing you again?

 

[DesEsseintes]

Putin has been drunk dialing you again?

Him and Yeltsin have Neci on speed dial. Every time the Stoli runs out it's the same story.

 

[Recidiva]

Kahlil Gibran

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

 

[parodyluvr75]

Him and Yeltsin have Neci on speed dial. Every time the Stoli runs out it's the same story.

At least they have good taste in women.

 

[Busybody]

Putin is a bully.

Its OK, Dee Trump will buy him

 

[Skiddles2015]

Must be tough living each day for someone who's dead.

Can't be healthy.

 

[Noor]

At this point, it's not horrible, just a bittersweet week.
I miss him, but I can smile without having to smile for him.

This is the local Con community's social event for the season, I will see many people I haven't seen in a while, some friends are coming in from out of town. We will have fun. I have other lots of other stuff to deal with.

I have stuff I have to do at the con, starting today with set up. I usually put in about 25 hrs volunteering at the con during the 5 day period.

I hope no one here has to go through losing someone like I did Byron, but unfortunately if you are lucky enough to be involved with someone who is "all that" and vice versa, you or they will experience it at some point.
It might be easier in old age or when it's more expected, but I doubt it.

 

[Noor]

Set up at Con went pretty well. Lots of hugs which is normal.
I got a bit hurt and pulled something, hopefully it will be better in the morning.

Those instant ice pack really don't work very well, at least these were almost useless.

I am not a political animal but I did my part. Time to crash.