Y'all ever read The Onion?

[bigjimgrayson]

Kim Jong Il Tramsforms into 200 ft. robot.

They archived that shit, so you can't e-mail it.

That shit was funny though.

 

[loveyamon]

The Onion Rules !!!!!!!

" Loved One's Recall Local Man's Cowardly Battle with Cancer "

" Oprah's Viewers Patiently Awaiting Instructions "

" Christ Converts to Islam "

" Children of Divorce Twice as Likely to Write Bad Poetry "

I've been a fan for years.............

 

[70/30]

VOLUME 34 ISSUE 11 — 14 OCTOBER 1998
Taco Bell's Five Ingredients Combined In Totally New Way
LOUISVILLE, KY—With great fanfare Thursday, Taco Bell unveiled the Grandito, an exciting new permutation of refried beans, ground beef, cheddar cheese, lettuce, and a corn tortilla. "You've never tasted Taco Bell's five ingredients combined quite like this," Taco Bell CEO Walt Berenyi said. "The revolutionary new Grandito, with its ground beef on top of the cheese but under the beans, is configured unlike anything you've ever eaten at Taco Bell." The fast-food chain made waves earlier this year with its introduction of the Zestito, in which the beans are on top of the lettuce, and the Mexiwrap, in which the tortilla is slightly more oblong.

 

[breakwall]

Monday ritual...get up...take care of business...pour coffee...read onion...wipe coffee off monitor.

 

[bigjimgrayson]

Don't forget,

"Come Bathe in the Healing Light of my Penis"

 

[Ice Cold]

I usually listen to a local radio station that reads me off my daily dose of Onion.

 

[breakwall]

RC COLA CELEBRATES 10th PURCHASE

"This is a historic day for RC Cola," Royal Crown CEO Tad Lipscomb said. "Our tenacity and dedication to providing a top-rate cola beverage have finally paid off. The double-digit barrier was a difficult hurdle that we have been approaching for decades, but now the sky is the limit."

 

[Cleopatra]

I love the Onion, and H-dog (aka Herbert Kornfeld) RULES.

"Heads up, y'all: Tha H-Dog's wildin' days be OVA. Now, I still be keepin' it real as tha Accountz Reeceevable Supervisa at Midstate Office Supply, so don't all y'all new-jack two-year accountin'-degree punks fresh outta community college be thinkin' about musclin' in on my turf, lest you want a Letta Opener Of Death in yo' ribcage. But, yo, y'all gots to understand, tha H-Dog gots a lot on his mind right now, an' he ain't bangin' like he used to, know what I'm sayin'? 'Cause, check this out, G's: I'm gonna be a daddy. One of tha Cash Room bitches, Agnes, be havin' my shortie."

 

[70/30]

Report: U.S. Children Lead World In Hand-Mouth Coordination

Eight Million Americans Rescued From Poverty With Redefinition Of Term

Everyone Glad Someone Else Making Small Talk With Disabled Woman

Republicans' 'Diversity Through Imported Africans' Plan Criticized

Man Who Actually Needs Grey Poupon Unable To Bring Self To Ask

Sorry to burst the order of LIT but...

VOLUME 36 ISSUE 46 — 20 DECEMBER 2000
Communists Now Least Threatening Group In U.S.
WASHINGTON, DC—According to a report released Monday by the Pentagon, Communists rank last on a list of 238 threats to national security. "Communists may now safely be ignored," Secretary of Defense William Cohen said. "The Red Menace has been surpassed by militia groups, religious extremists, ecoterrorists, cybercriminals, Hollywood producers, and angry drivers." Other groups deemed more threatening than Communists include rap-metal bands (#96), escaped zoo animals (#202), and Belgians (#237).

 

[loveyamon]

" NFL Star thanks Jesus After Successful Double Homocide"

" Fun Toy Banned Because of Three Stupid Dead kids "

" Routine Drunk Driving Trip Turns Tragic for % Local teens "

 

[Lost Cause]

I like me horoscope..

Cancer: (June 22—July 22)
A tumor the size of a walnut will be found in your forebrain, explaining your recent fascination with mid-1970s American fiber art.

www.theonion.com