Wuz Jesus really Forbidden to Fuck?

[insideShiraz]

One time I asked my very intelligent Deacon grandfather,"Why couldn't Jesus have been married?" and he blurted out,"Because he would have liked Sex!" Isn't this what God intended? I don't have to tell you what a perverse SohmBitch I am, I can get into putting sex into words with the best of 'em, but why does society always try to make sex so dirty? But then again, If it don't seem dirty, you're not doin' somethin' right...

(I edited a mispelling of Decon)

[Edited by insideShiraz on 10-25-2000 at 05:32 PM]

 

[God the Father]

The reason I didn't let my son have sex was because it would have taken away from the purpose I sent him to earth for in the first place.

 

[insideShiraz]

Virgin God the Father?...

Jesus' purpose was to point away from Sex? Maybe he wasn't allowed to eat either. Maybe you forbade him to take a shit as this would detract from what he was really sent to do. Maybe Jesus never even farted to make his Disciples laugh. Maybe Jesus never fucked Mary Magdalene. Maybe she never annointed his feet with oil. Maybe you're a virgin god because you never "created" the Heavens and the Earth, maybe you're just a frustrated virgin...

 

[Guest]

And maybe you could make a post once that makes sense. Try it, it's fun. you'll see.

 

[GOD]

Who says Jesus didn't have sex?

Only people like bobtoad live to age 33 without getting laid at least once.

 

[insideShiraz]

And maybe you can point the way...

To some of your Great Threads, Hmmm Guest?...

Like maybe, I didn't work in the Garden today, but I will say Fuck at least 3 times on the Internet cuz I'm so literate and erotic to boot?

 

[Bobtoad777]

Who says Jesus didn't have sex?

Only people like bobtoad live to age 33 without getting laid at least once.

GOD and God the father please leave me out of your sorted affairs here on this forum.

If either one of you were real you would know the true reasons of my abstainance.

Thank you.

 

[Lovely Latina]

Re: Virgin God the Father?...

Maybe you're a virgin god [the father]... maybe you're just a frustrated virgin...

Oh...if you only knew just how RIGHT you are, Shiraz.

 

[God the Father]

Re: Re: Virgin God the Father?...

Maybe you're a virgin god [the father]... maybe you're just a frustrated virgin...

Oh...if you only knew just how RIGHT you are, Shiraz.

>>>I only had sex once that was with Mary. I did that in order to give you a second chance which you were unwilling to take.

 

[insideShiraz]

Curious...

Wut did that mean, Latina?

 

[insideShiraz]

Re: Re: Re: Virgin God the Father?...

Maybe you're a virgin god [the father]... maybe you're just a frustrated virgin...

Oh...if you only knew just how RIGHT you are, Shiraz.

>>>I only had sex once that was with Mary. I did that in order to give you a second chance which you were unwilling to take.

So what's to keep Jesus from fucking twice or more? Wasn't Mary the Mother of Jesus 13 years old when you Fucked her?

 

[GOD]

Here comes the whole OMNISCIENCE thing smacking ya in the head, Bobtoad the Father

GOD and God the father please leave me out of your sorted affairs here on this forum.

If either one of you were real you would know the true reasons of my abstainance.

I think you should repent your sin, Bobtoad, and explain to everyone why you (Bobtoad) are telling yourself (God the Father) to stay out of your own affairs.

And don't try to deny it, I AM GOD, ya know. It's not like I don't know these things.

And I'm really getting tired of watching you jerk off all damn day. Why do you think none of your prayers are ever answered? Can't even stand to look in that direction...

Oh, and this...

I only had sex once that was with Mary. I did that in order to give you a second chance which you were unwilling to take.

Believe me, we know better... God the Father is still the frustrated virgin.

And for such a self-proclaimed Christian boy, Bobby Toady, just how many Commandments have you broken here?

Hmmmmm...

Thou shalt have no other gods before Me.

Like this God the Father business. C'mon. You'll burn for that one.

Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain; for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh His name in vain

Sound familiar, Bobby? Don't forget, I AM VENGEFUL!

How about...

Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.

Or, in this case, yourself, Bobby Toad (Hey, they're my rules, I can make'em mean whatever I want. Who's gonna stop me?)

I think you need to dig deep in your soul and pray to me for forgiveness, Bobtoad... BEFORE it's too late and you spend eternity in HELL!!!!!

 

[Stormystarr]

Finally...

The REAL GOD is here.

 

[GOD]

Can I get an AMEN??

 

[insideShiraz]

Thank Allah...

The Real God is Here...

 

[Lovely Latina]

(I edited a mispelling of Decon)

[Edited by insideShiraz on 10-25-2000 at 05:32 PM]

Oh...and by the way, Shiraz...you might wanna hit that edit button just ONE more time.

 

[insideShiraz]

Deacon Jonz...

Thank Goodness I didn't misspell Gawd...

 

[Bobtoad777]

Two trolls, lovely. Are you the same person or two seperate people. Again what have i done to beget your ire people? I stopped flirting, I stopped rampant postings, I basically stopped having fun on the lit forums yet you still feel the need to beat the shit out of me why?

 

[SeXy ReDHeD]

you would know the true reasons of my abstainance.

Because you couldn't get laid if your life depended on it.

 

[Bobtoad777]

you would know the true reasons of my abstainance.

Because you couldn't get laid if your life depended on it.

close, but I have had two offers. yeah i know its not like all you sex masters and mistresses out there that would have two offers for sex befre your first cup of coffe in the morning. Buyt sometimes when you have to break a chain m you have to melt the steel. But every one on this forum came from perfect homes and families so they wouldnt have a freaking clue what that means.

 

[GOD]

And the sinning just keeps on coming...

Ya know, this was a lot of fun bobtoad/God the Father. All ya had to do was be men when it got figured out and say, "Ha, Ha, you got me". What's the problem? Did you think people were gonna think you're ME?? Please...

You can deny it if ya want, but check your mail. Seems that Bobtoad and God the Father have the same email addy.

WRITE BACK SOON, please. Both of you...

It's not too late to repent, SINNER!!!

Oh, and how am I a troll? I registered 2 months before you did Bobby.

[Edited by GOD on 10-25-2000 at 08:58 PM]

 

[Bobtoad777]

Thank you everybody, for using my email, for using me, for screwing me, thank you God for for the emails thank you God the Father for feeling free to spam my email to death. Its times like this i wonder why I am still not intstituionalized. I told them I wasn't ready for reality.

 

[insideShiraz]

Bbbbbbobby...

Spanks for the Mammories...

Fuck Them!...Hoosier God anyways?

 

[Massive Erection]

hi everyone! i'm new, so if this sounds stupid please be gentle. thanks!

bobtoad777: thank you God the Father for feeling free to spam my email to death.

i know i'm new here, but do you know what spam is bobtoad777? near as I can figure, the only way this God the Father can spam you is if you're sending junk mail to yourself. can anyone explain this to me?

 

[insideShiraz]

Bbbbbobby...

Middle Finger... Between Ring and Pointer...