Wtf was I thinking

[ChromeCollar]

So here I am, on the fuel island washing my windshield. Its been a gorgeous day, about 72 degrees with a brilliant blue sky, huge white fluffly clouds and a slight breeze. A truck pulls in beside mine, and I glance up as the door opens, to behold a VERY good looking man in his lower thirties step out.

He smiles, and comes around and starts his fueling process. He looks over and smiles again, and I smile back. He ambles over, and starts asking questions, where I'm from, where I'm going, if the truck is mine. Then, low and behold, his twin brother clambers out of the truck and comes over with a sleepy smile on his face. Lord, there are two of them.

Well, after a few minutes of chit chat, with my windows long since sparkling, I step back and tell them I need to get going. "Lets go get some lunch" they say in unison. I tell them no, and they hem and haw, saying come on, and I tell them goodbye and get going down the road.

Wth was I thinking. I told two very good looking men, obviously doing well for themselves with great senses of humor no to lunch, out of a feeling of obligation to a guy who lives 2600 miles away, wont talk to me on the phone for more than 20 minutes a day, and wont give me more than a night of his time when we actually do get to see eachother, and prefers to hide the fact that him and his exgirlfriend hang out together..

Does anyone else see something wrong with this picture? I guess my how to part is, how to wake up and smell the coffee. How can I detach myself from this guy who so obviously doesnt want to be in this serious relationship. How to fall out of love?

 

[Jack Eagle]

CC

Will reply back later. I can DEFINATELY identify. Been up since about 0430 EDT and working outside all day in the 100 plus heat.

PM if you wish to expand privately. Would like to do same.

Jack

 

[DirtyJJ]

Well, it's not easy to fall out of love, but to be honest you sound like a woman who has taken the first step and summed up your situation pretty well. You clearly realize the reasons why this person is not good enough for you, so you have already woken up and smelled the coffee in that regard. That is a big step.

I am not sure how to handle the actual detatching part... that is a toughie, but from my standpoint almost all the answers you need are in your post - what you are potentially missing out on, as well as the reasons why this person doesn't deserve to be a part of your life if he gives so little.

Good luck to you in taking the next step of getting that man out of your life, though honestly it sounds like he is not really in it much by your description. You just need the courage to realize there is more out there for you, and you got a glimpse of that today. I mean, how many times does that happen where two cute guys you just met ask you to lunch? Sounds like the beginning of a fun story!

JJ

 

[ChromeCollar]

Good thoughts JJ. I'll try to hang on to them, and maybe take the next guy up on his lunch offer.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Without meaning to sound crude... since your guy is obviously not ready for you... follow your pussy to greener pastures! *grin*

What I mean is.. you (not just your pussy), deserve to have fun, to have love, to have someone who gives a shit, and a lunch offer is just a lunch offer until someone moves in to kiss.

 

[fgarvb1]

From what little I have learned about females over the years, some hot sex with good looking guy will put him in the dumper so fast you will wonder what happened!

 

[Jack Eagle]

Nail on the head

Without meaning to sound crude... since your guy is obviously not ready for you... follow your pussy to greener pastures! *grin*

What I mean is.. you (not just your pussy), deserve to have fun, to have love, to have someone who gives a shit, and a lunch offer is just a lunch offer until someone moves in to kiss.

You're exactly right Lil. It's a two way street. You don't like it, find another. One must put "I" first for a number of reasons.

 

[SkyBluAngelEyes]

CC, I'd be kickin' my own butt for just leaving them behind.

I've been in those one way relationships, and they do not work out. You have to do things for you. Not the guy that won't give you the time of day.

The bad news is, you can't make yourself fall out of love. It's just going to get to the point that you decide that you're not going to give a rip about what he thinks or wants, anymore.

Ms Lilith said it much more eloquently than I could have. She has a good head on her shoulders.

 

[Celtia]

If you recognize the relationship is BAD you're into the first steps.

Been there, done that. When I started wanting to fuck other people--okay, one other person-- I knew it was time to break up. Oh man, still haven't fucked that guy and he's just eating at me...

*sigh*

I hate being monogamous and having a concious.

 

[Jack Eagle]

If you recognize the relationship is BAD you're into the first steps.

Been there, done that.

C,

Wanna see the t-shirt too!!!! LOL

 

[Celtia]

C,

Wanna see the t-shirt too!!!! LOL

Ha! I don't have the T-shirt, but I have the emotional and financial scars to share...

 

[Jack Eagle]

Ha! I don't have the T-shirt, but I have the emotional and financial scars to share...

That's even worse than a useless t-shirt, but I'll get you a GATOR shirt if you'll wear it!

 

[SmilinAngel]

I can TOTALLY relate. I wasn't able to just quickly fall out of love, as I assume one is not able to, but I do have some helpful hints. When I would get really sympathetic and think, "Oh, he's not so bad," I make myself concentrate on the bad. When did he disappoint me? When did he make me angry? When did he make me cry? How much did all this hurt? By forcing myself to concentrate on the bad, I began to reverse my innate tendency to only remember the good. Soon enough, I was so angry at him for all the bad things, that I was finally able to let go. He's still in my thoughts, but I still just concentrate on the bad and realize that I am much better off. I hope that helps and good luck!

 

[je404ucd]

Loyalty is a very admirable virtue. Don't regreat your decision because it is difficult (and sometimes impossible) to repair a relationship after a trust is broken.

post #99

 

[ChromeCollar]

Loyalty is a very admirable virtue. Don't regreat your decision because it is difficult (and sometimes impossible) to repair a relationship after a trust is broken.

post #99

Yes, it is hard to repair it. I havent, and would not cheat on him, though my eye occasionally wanders. I'm sure things will come to a head soon enough. There is some great advice here, and I will keep it in mind. I know you are supposed to work hard at keeping love alive, but it should take two people working at it. When one is the only one showing the lions share of effort, imo that means the other isnt interested in keeping the relationship alive.

 

[crazybbwgirl]

twins...... mmmmmmmm

 

[Lukie]

only you...

you have had some great advice here....these woman are very insightful...the thing is..you won't realize it until it hits you.
I think..because you have questioned it....you have begun to awaken...good luck!