WT: Can BDSM be Therapeutic?

WriterDom

Good to the last drop
Joined
Jun 25, 2000
Posts
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Discuss.


Also we still need someone to start a topic for next Sunday. Any volunteers? First come, first serve.
 
I'll volunteer for next week if you wish..and will return to discuss this one after the renovation work we are into presently. :)

Catalina :rose:
 
Definitively it could be :) Making one dreams come true is as de-traumatic, as it could be. Especially when the dreams is considered by the rest of so called society as perverse, nasty and ugly and so on... :rolleyes:

The relief of finding "sould and sexual" mate in this case hast to be good.

I beleive in this ;)

Works for me.
 
WriterDom said:

Absolutely! BDSM helps me cope with the escapism side of my personality. In general I get bored very easily, and the BDSM aspect of my life keeps me interested. From a masochistic viewpoint, I find the pain side of it de stressing. If I am feeling hung up on something, having the crap beaten out of me, relieves all the tension in a great way. I find I can cope with everyday problems much easier after playtime. My mind becomes clearer, and I more focused. I can be quite scatty and wayward so the discapline helps too. :)
 
A professional Dominatrix that I know advertises as a "behavior modification therapist." She always felt like she was more like a shrink than a working girl. Most of her subbies were just trying to act out fantasies that their wives refused to take part in.

I'm not sure that all fantasies should be acted out. But some are quite harmless, and it's definitely therapeutic to get them out of your system.
 
I haven't experienced it myself, but I've seen it. I've noticed that when mariposa is really stressed, she'll ask D for a serious flogging or strapping. And when she says serious, omfg. I've seen her back and butt after such a thing. But afterwords, the next day, she'll be so relaxed and serene and chilled out.
 
I can see arguments both ways for this one. In terms of relieving stress, any sexual play can be theraputic. But just as there's a bad side to sexual play (rape), there can also be a bad side to BDSM play.

The areas where I have concern deal with BDSM reinforcing patterns or cycles of abuse, rather than liberating and enriching. Also, being dominant doesn't qualify anyone as a therapist (even if we think we know it all!) And yet many dominants seem to be willing to take on that role.

So can it be theraputic? Yes, I believe so. But I also believe it can be damaging.
 
Stefani said:
A professional Dominatrix that I know advertises as a "behavior modification therapist." She always felt like she was more like a shrink than a working girl.

See my earlier post about dominants and their assumption that they are qualified as therapists. Messing with someone's mind is dangerous, and BDSM play does this in a restricted fashion, making it safer. But equating that with full-on psychological therapy rings alarm bells for me. Unless the dominant IS a shrink, I would warn people not to treat the dominant as one.

Stefani said:
I'm not sure that all fantasies should be acted out. But some are quite harmless, and it's definitely therapeutic to get them out of your system.

Agreed. I know that in some cases, a submissive or dominant should be prepared to put up a hand and go "Whoa! Not going there!" Largely because some fantasies can be damaging in reality. A certain amount of thought and common sense needs to go into choosing what to play out and what not to play out.
 
snowy ciara said:
I haven't experienced it myself, but I've seen it. I've noticed that when mariposa is really stressed, she'll ask D for a serious flogging or strapping. And when she says serious, omfg. I've seen her back and butt after such a thing. But afterwords, the next day, she'll be so relaxed and serene and chilled out.

I'm not sure whether it's therapeutic but when I was away from Master recently I was so restless I wondered what was going on and then I realised it was because I hadn't had a spanking for a few days.......it's odd because once I got home and we had a good spanking session I was so relaxed and languorous even though my butt was quite bruised.

*And Master's hand and shoulder were sore afterwards too* :eek:
 
BDSM Theraputic?

I find it very much so. Not in the realm of using bdsm to solve my problems - but just as a way to look deeper in to myself. Every time I turn over a new leaf in my exploration of my submissive side I find out something more about myself.
 
FungiUg said:
I can see arguments both ways for this one. In terms of relieving stress, any sexual play can be theraputic. But just as there's a bad side to sexual play (rape), there can also be a bad side to BDSM play.

The areas where I have concern deal with BDSM reinforcing patterns or cycles of abuse, rather than liberating and enriching. Also, being dominant doesn't qualify anyone as a therapist (even if we think we know it all!) And yet many dominants seem to be willing to take on that role.

So can it be theraputic? Yes, I believe so. But I also believe it can be damaging.

This is a very insightful comment. I think a lot of subs are often looking for therapy and we're often the last people to qualify for that position.

However, I do think that BDSM can be highly therapeutic within the relationship. Nothing says "this issue is over" quite like a good spanking and soft apologetic kissing afterwards. Kind of like the "makeup sex" effect, only better!
 
Therapeutic??

Yes. I have found that working out some aggression with a maso-submissive or having an endorphin release with a good sadist helps me focus when I am scattered or depressed...(not to mention aggressive).

I can not recall a time when BDSM has been anything less than therapy (and usually it's much more)
 
This is an interesting question. I think that it is therapeutic, but then I would because I am submissive and BDSM allows me to operate in my life as purely 'me' as I can be. That has to be a good thing. :)

I believe that the better we know ourselves, the happier we can be in the end. Once we know ourselves, the closer we can 'live' in that truth, the healthier we will be. To be true to our own nature, in the end will bring us happiness. Happiness is therapeutic.

This may sound simplistic, but I think it is basically true. Any time a person can live their own inner truth, they will be healthier emotionally, spiritually, and physically. It's just the nature of life.

Why I may need and desire a good flogging may be interesting to discover, but I don't struggle with the fact that I do desire it. Now, I personally have searched for my own reasons, and they've been interesting to discover, but the flogging would be therapeutic to me whether or not I knew why it was so.

I happen to be more mental than most of the people I know. Mind you I did not say more intelligent, just more mental. I think incessantly, and so being true to myself is discovering the 'why' of things and what not. But I also know that BDSM would satisfy certain things (thereby being therapeutic) even if I didn't know.

In my opinion, therapy occurs when we engage in any activity that enhances who we are, or allows who we are to be expressed. It is the expression of true "Self" that leads to good mental health.

BDSM is therapeutic to people who are into it for this reason. Just as running is therapeutic to runners, and crocheting is therapeutic to those that crochet. We all do things for a reason. More often than not that reason is 'expression of Self'. When we are able to express our true natures, our true selves, we are healthier. Simple as that.

Just my 2 cents....

~ cait
 
I have always found pain play in particular to be therapeutic for depression and just generally handling stress etc. Like you Caitlynne, I always figured much of it had to do with the fact I enjoyed such activity at the best of times and was definately a masochist. It was with interest I read this article linked recently on another discussion board. If these findings are correct, it seems it may not be reliant upon having masochistic tendencies after all. Not sure it will become a big hit in mainstream western medicine anytime soon though. :rolleyes:

Catalina :rose:
 
catalina_francisco said:
I have always found pain play in particular to be therapeutic for depression and just generally handling stress etc. Like you Caitlynne, I always figured much of it had to do with the fact I enjoyed such activity at the best of times and was definately a masochist. It was with interest I read this article linked recently on another discussion board. If these findings are correct, it seems it may not be reliant upon having masochistic tendencies after all. Not sure it will become a big hit in mainstream western medicine anytime soon though. :rolleyes:

Catalina :rose:

It makes sense to me....don't know how or why, but its like a relief factor. That article was informative (thankyou), although I can imagine mainstream medical science turning their noses up at it, theres no money to be made in it ! Could it have something to do with the fight or flight thing? :confused:

:)
 
Yes BDSM is very stress relieving. seaMaster knows when I need to have relief. After a good painful session I am sooooo relaxed. The next day I feel like a wet noodle. seaMaster treats me so gently and loving the following day. Of course, can't get much work out of me. I am a happy and contented girl after a session. slave c
 
FungiUg said:
See my earlier post about dominants and their assumption that they are qualified as therapists. Messing with someone's mind is dangerous, and BDSM play does this in a restricted fashion, making it safer. But equating that with full-on psychological therapy rings alarm bells for me. Unless the dominant IS a shrink, I would warn people not to treat the dominant as one.


FungiUg,

When I say she advertised as a "behavior modification therapist," I don't meant to say that she was posing as something she was not. She advertised in the personals sections of very upscale, non-sexual magazines hoping to get upscale, wealthy clients. I think what she was doing was more of a 'code' for BDSM, rather than advertising blatently as a Dominatrix, which wouldn't have been allowed by those types of publications.

It's not like anyone that came to her expected counselling. People came to her strictly to get their ass beat, crossdress, or act out their little fantasy. I think she said she viewed herself as a therapist - because she never had actual sex with her subs... and because I think it bothered her to think of herself as a prostitute.

It was merely her way of rationalizing what she did for a living... like she was performing a professional service to her clients... rather than thinking of herself as a hooker.

Steffie
 
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