[WRITING Q] First Story Rejection - Suggestions?

[NoJo]

From my latest rejected story:


She looked about fifteen, though she was actually three years older than that (but you can go right on thinking she was fifteen).


What's wrong with it? Can't I even suggest underage??

(I've removed the above sentence and resubmitted, but I'm pissed off. God I'm so glad I don't live in the US. What a bunch of fucking Puritan prudes you have running the country).

 

[Liar]

Do like so many others I've seen here. Be evasive about the age, but make her act like she was either mentally challenged...or twelve. That should target the same hebephilia audience.

"Is that your pee-thing, mister?"

"Yes, but we don't call it that. That's my cock, little girl."

"Oooh. Can I feel?"

 

[English Lady]

It will be that line Joe, you're really suggesting she definitely was underage.

Only a year underage by our standards but underage none the less.

Can't blame Laurel, She's got to make sure's keeping on the laws good side. Especially as we know people trawl the stories for things to get outraged about *L*

 

[neonlyte]

From my latest rejected story:


She looked about fifteen, though she was actually three years older than that (but you can go right on thinking she was fifteen).


What's wrong with it? Can't I even suggest underage??

(I've removed the above sentence and resubmitted, but I'm pissed off. God I'm so glad I don't live in the US. What a bunch of fucking Puritan prudes you have running the country).

Joe,
It's probable they object to but you can go right on thinking she was fifteen, your telling the reader(s) to think about her as being underage.

I've generally tried to avoid ages, using 'teenager' euphemistically to blur the story age but always confirm +18 before anything graphic is described.

It is a problem, young people have sex, many sexual memories / encounters stem from pubescence and formulate later sexual behaviour. It's telling a story while gagged.

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

You could probably get away with it if you removed the bit in parentheses.

 

[carsonshepherd]

(I've removed the above sentence and resubmitted, but I'm pissed off. God I'm so glad I don't live in the US. What a bunch of fucking Puritan prudes you have running the country).

Yeah. We know. Don't fucking rub it in, okay?

 

[elfin_odalisque]

It's just a question of this evil thing the'WWW'. Saw Romeo & Juliet in Cincinnatti recently. She's 14 and gets fucked, married and commits suicide. The young kids in the next row really loved the romance! That was ART.

You have to stick with the rules here. The extraordinary hangups we have about baring flesh, interracial love (fucking) and underage sex can be easily understood if you cruise the alligator infested waters of Loving Wives.

I'm with Carson. De rules are de rules and you should suggest, imply and use words to tickle inside readers' psyches.

A quick survey of Incest will show anyone how to get round the 18 problem. Who the hell lasted 'til 18 anyway?

 

[cantdog]

Actually, elfin_odalisque, a lot of folks last 'til eighteen. They just aren't our sort.



cantdog

 

[English Lady]

I was 19 myself

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Don't mean that. I was 17 he was 18 and 2 weeks into college. The single bed bowed in the middle and the earth moved.

It won't make a story here but the memory will last a lifetime. Perhaps I should have married him.

 

[NoJo]

I was 19. Explains why I always feel like I'm trying to play catchup with everyone

 

[brightlyiburn]

Try saying she looked "young" rather than like she was 15. Pretty certain I've gotten away with that.

 

[NoJo]

Actually it's the first story I've written featuring young people, and my first Lit rejection, so I overreacted.

In the story they act so clearly like kids that mentioning their age was redundant anyway.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

There's a bit of a difference between 2 sixteen-year-olds going all the way and a grey haired old man fucking a nubile teen. Once upon a time I was a nubile young teen and the only attraction of middle aged guys was to buy an illegal drink.

Years have gone by and I see what predators they were. I can handle Lolita, I have a problem with reality.

 

[NoJo]

There's a bit of a difference between 2 sixteen-year-olds going all the way and a grey haired old man fucking a nubile teen. Once upon a time I was a nubile young teen and the only attraction of middle aged guys was to buy an illegal drink.

Years have gone by and I see what predators they were. I can handle Lolita, I have a problem with reality.

I read a brilliant story here about a young woman's weird realtionship with an older guy. Real dark power games. I pm-ed her, telling her how real and edgy it felt.

She told me being molested by her father for years helped her get the edgy realism.

If you want to read it, it's here:

Aaron's Lolita

 

[davidwatts]

I was 19. Explains why I always feel like I'm trying to play catchup with everyone

I was thirteen, and it was vitrually non-stop since then. Other people were not involved until I was eighteen, to my dismay.

 

[Guest]

I was 19 myself

I was 21.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Age doesn't matter. Good experience and memories do.