Writing in Second Person

[CuriosityCanKill]

Is this a do or a don't?
I recently wrote a letter to my boyfriend and converted it into my latest story. It's the first story I've done in second person, and I can't decide if I like it or not.

So what are your experiences with writing like this? Do you find it makes the reader relate more or is it too cliché for the erotica genre (or any writing, for that matter)?

 

[sr71plt]

If you are a skillful writer and the work isn't very long (reading second person is tiring in the best of circumstances), you might be able to pull it off.

 

[sunandshadow]

It's a "don't". I mean you can if you really want to, it's not illegal or anything, some readers will like it no matter what POV you use, but it's cheesy and if you actually want to publish your writing publishers will not want stuff written in 2nd person.

 

[sr71plt]

Of course experimenting in writing is a good reason to do it if you want to experiment. This is a free site--there's no "make or break" career issues here. I have (and here) and no one has remarked on it being in second person. It's just been, as I noted, on short pieces--and usually ones with intense atmospherics that the reader can get pulled up into and focus on something other than the voice used.

 

[PacoFear]

At the risk of overloading your nerd-o-meter, CCK, second person POV is essentially a "Kobayashi Maru."

The smart folks leave the crew to die. The dumb 'n brave wade in, only to promptly have their asses handed to them in a bucket.

Which are you?

-PF

 

[driphoney]

At the risk of overloading your nerd-o-meter, CCK, second person POV is essentially a "Kobayashi Maru."

The smart folks leave the crew to die. The dumb 'n brave wade in, only to promptly have their asses handed to them in a bucket.

Which are you?

-PF

Dumb and ..., I guess. [Answering personally!]

*off to figure out what the hell "Kobayashi Maru" is*

 

[sr71plt]

"Maru" designates a vessel name in Japanese. In this case, though, you have to delve into Star Trek lore.

If the second person couldn't be used, it wouldn't be there, though. Again, experimentation contributes to development. And this is a "no career-ender" place to work on your development.

 

[PacoFear]

And this is a "no career-ender" place to work on your development.

Muhahaha! *cough cough* Now behold the true genius of the Maru metaphor.

Yes, Lit is a safe and cozy place to figure out who you are as a writer with no real world effects. Do you play it safe or cowboy up and take a crack at being the hero?

Isn't that rather like captaining a hypothetical ship at the Starfleet Academy?

Oh James T., there's so much you can teach us.

 

[glynndah]

I wrote one. It's one of my higher rated stories. It's basically a monologue, though. I don't think I could write an effective action-oriented story in second person.

 

[driphoney]

I wrote one. It's one of my higher rated stories. It's basically a monologue, though. I don't think I could write an effective action-oriented story in second person.

Mine's not highly rated, but it does have some very nice feedback.

I'm sitting here grinning as I try to mentally construct an action (non-sexual) scene.

~~~~

"Hey! You! Yeah, I mean you! Go run behind those boxes while I sneak around the corner and see if the bad guys are still there."

I start to edge my way to the end of the alley, but you're giggling. I look back at you. "Shhh! This is serious!"

Just then I watch as the first bad guy leaps into the lane, the first bullet tears through your side and you stumble forward before the second finds its mark.

Damn! You're dead and I still had more story.

 

[Penelope Street]

Writing in Second Person: Is this a do or a don't?

More like don't do it just to do it.

I recently wrote a letter to my boyfriend and converted it into my latest story. It's the first story I've done in second person, and I can't decide if I like it or not.

Letters are naturally written in second person, so if you intend for your "story" to remain in the form of a letter, there's no reason to switch to another narrative mode. Songs are another classic example where second person works.

Unlike letters and songs, telling a story in second person is far from natural. If you stop and think about it for a moment, how much sense does it make for anyone to tell a story to you that is also about you?

Do you find it makes the reader relate more or is it too cliché for the erotica genre (or any writing, for that matter)?

Many novice writers imagine a reader will be inclined to bond with the "you" character, but most of the time the opposite is true.

I wrote one. It's one of my higher rated stories. It's basically a monologue, though. I don't think I could write an effective action-oriented story in second person.

Glynndah's written more than one. I suspect the piece she's refering to is "Shopping for Sex Toys at Walmart". I think second person works for this piece and have a hard time even imagining it written otherwise.

It's easy enough to say why second person should be avoided the vast majority of the time, but more interesting to me is what makes it the right choice in those rare instances where it does work?

 

[driphoney]

More like don't do it just to do it.


Letters are naturally written in second person, so if you intend for your "story" to remain in the form of a letter, there's no reason to switch to another narrative mode. Songs are another classic example where second person works.

Unlike letters and songs, telling a story in second person is far from natural. If you stop and think about it for a moment, how much sense does it make for anyone to tell a story to you that is also about you?


Many novice writers imagine a reader will be inclined to bond with the "you" character, but most of the time the opposite is true.


Glynndah's written more than one. I suspect the piece she's refering to is "Shopping for Sex Toys at Walmart". I think second person works for this piece and have a hard time even imagining it written otherwise.

It's easy enough to say why second person should be avoided the vast majority of the time, but more interesting to me is what makes it the right choice in those rare instances where it does work?

I agree. Sometimes second person works. What makes it work is more interesting to me than avoidance of the subject.

A lot of 2nd person letter-type pieces are done here. They tend to have a similar feel to them and don't do well. The OP could find a few and compare, if the piece is similar, then reader reaction will probably be, too. The OP can also see how it feels being the outsider reading a similar piece and it could be a good learning experience.

 

[Carnevil9]

I've written one that *I* think works, but of course I'm biased. I agree they need to be short, and they should also be highly stylized and lyrical, not just telling a story. Because the unorthodox style pretty much obscures any "plot."

 

[harding]

Depends

Depends what the story is. If it fits, OK.

However, a huge bugbear of mine is if writing gets in the way of the story. If I notice that it's writing, it puts me off.

All my favorite writers (like Steinbeck) have writing that is superb, but so good it fades into the background and all you are left with is how good the story is.

 

[Vielle]

Letters are naturally written in second person, so if you intend for your "story" to remain in the form of a letter, there's no reason to switch to another narrative mode. Songs are another classic example where second person works.

Unlike letters and songs, telling a story in second person is far from natural. If you stop and think about it for a moment, how much sense does it make for anyone to tell a story to you that is also about you?


Many novice writers imagine a reader will be inclined to bond with the "you" character, but most of the time the opposite is true.

All of this is so true I think. I have read a few stories, not just erotica, that are in the form of letters (either the entire story or portions of it). I think this can work very well. The "you" in these cases is not the reader but another character.

If the "you" is intended to be the reader, I don't think that works very easily, but on the other hand, it is often done in poetry and can be very effective.

 

[favoritesgoddess]

I don't mind it if it is the form of a letter. Straight-on second person means you're talking directly to me, and quite frankly, I don't know you. I'm looking all around and over my shoulder wondering who you're addressing. The problem with second person is it assumes a relationship between author and reader that in all but one case doesn't exist.

But a letter...well, that's kind of like voyeurism. You're reading someone else's mail. Who wrote it? Who read it and then left it there for me to see? I don't need much exposition because I like trying to figure out some of the things that are known to the writer and the recipient from a few clues.

Also, the letter format allows you to more seamlessly go between the present (I'm writing this from...) and the past (remember the time we...), allowing for a more narrative flow of events . You can foreshadow, too (when we get back to Texas, I'm going to...).

 

[MatthewJudeBrown]

Songs that are directed at 'you' work for the same reason; the singer isn't pretending to be intimate with you, they're singing a song for some specific person.

Second person can also work for poetry, likewise.

 

[OhCrap]

First, Second or Third still try for a home run

I find that writing stories is like a self designed role play. In first person You can clearly present the personality, thoughts and actions of your lead character while dealing with your NPCs in the second person. Fairly easy to do actually.

In third person you get to describe the schedule of events as if you, yourself were an observer or proverbial fly on the wall watching the events unfold. This 'top down perspective' style is harder to present personal thoughts of the character as they deal with events unfolding unless you do so by your character(s) thinking out loud.

Second person is tricky. If you've role played, it's considered 'god modding'. While perfectly acceptable to perform on extras or NPCs, god modding a main character might give the reader the feeling of a certain unfairness for the personality or thought processes of your main character.

-"You walk into a room and immediately turn on the light."

This might leave the reader with the argument. "No, I don't want to turn on the light." Especially if events leading them up to entering said room would lead them to believing it would be reasonably uncharacteristic such as a need for stealth.

 

[Pure]

an old link?

there was a thread on this a while back, but i can't find it, right now.
(i will search further, or maybe someone can assist).

also covered was the topic of 'converting' the 'you' account--as in a letter to your honey-- into some standard story form, e.g. first person narrative.

one problem seems to be, to get across the 'you' character, since it's rarely filled out in, for example a letter, since 'you' is reading it.

there are half a dozen varieties of second person narration, some by well established authors. for example, 'you' may simply be the reader or a typical member of the public. so i write: "you know how people are always talking about 'southern belles', well, you won't believe what happened the first time i met one. she was sitting there, stunning, yet prim; you probably remember Scarlett, in her more calm moments, in the movie version of _Gone with the Wind_."

 

[sr71plt]

there are half a dozen varieties of second person narration, some by well established authors. for example, 'you' may simply be the reader or a typical member of the public. so i write: "you know how people are always talking about 'southern belles', well, you won't believe what happened the first time i met one. she was sitting there, stunning, yet prim; you probably remember Scarlett, in her more calm moments, in the movie version of _Gone with the Wind_."

Nope. "I met one." This establishes that this is a first-person passage. The "you" isn't given any present action. The "I" has the action of this passage, part of which is repeating back to another character or the reader what the "I" thinks they have once said..

A second-person passage would be more like:

"You are sitting there, stunned, yet prim, stung by the strong language and suggestive speech of that Yankee coast runner captain, Rhett Butler. When he has left the room, you stand and go look in the mirror, searching for any evidence that you are anything but the proper southern belle everyone is talking about."

And then you've got to sustain that across the whole piece (which is very, very hard to do).

 

[sharkandpen]

neither do nor don't

I did experiment with second person for a story in the Romance category (I know I have a weird idea of romance). It's called Reunited

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=129973

I found that because it is not a perspective I write or read often, it required a few edits before it could even be posted. It could probably use another couple of edits, but I haven't gotten around to it (I always find my errors after posting)

but even if it is not the easiest to read, I think it's fun to experiment with writing, so I don't think you can label it a don't if you understand that it is not for everyone. In my case the story got a limited number of votes, but was rated decently enough, though I have definitely had better ratings on other works.

Penny

 

[sr71plt]

I did experiment with second person for a story in the Romance category (I know I have a weird idea of romance). It's called Reunited

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=129973

I found that because it is not a perspective I write or read often, it required a few edits before it could even be posted. It could probably use another couple of edits, but I haven't gotten around to it (I always find my errors after posting)

but even if it is not the easiest to read, I think it's fun to experiment with writing, so I don't think you can label it a don't if you understand that it is not for everyone. In my case the story got a limited number of votes, but was rated decently enough, though I have definitely had better ratings on other works.

Penny

Your story is primarily first person with just a few slides into second and back out again. I enjoyed it, but it wouldn't be considered a story in the second person.

 

[sharkandpen]

Your story is primarily first person with just a few slides into second and back out again. I enjoyed it, but it wouldn't be considered a story in the second person.

Well, now that you mention it, I can see that

 

[sharkandpen]

Well, now that you mention it, I can see that

which is to say-- nevermind, I'm an idiot

 

[KillerMuffin]

Your story is primarily first person with just a few slides into second and back out again. I enjoyed it, but it wouldn't be considered a story in the second person.

This is slightly disingenuous, without that intent. A comparable example would be the average first person story. There are personal and impersonal pronouns throughout the thing, but it's first person simply because I takes the role of a character. It's not switching between first person and third person because he or she has a significant character role, it's always first person. Well, almost (One Flew Over a Cuckoo's Nest = notable exception).

What defines a second person narrative is how much play "you" gets. If "you" is a main character, particularly the protagonist or antagonist, then it's second person, even if the character doesn't show up much.

Reunited is second-person POV because the "you" character is a main character that develops the protagonist. The pronoun applied to the protagonist alone doesn't decide which POV is in use. Now, taken sentence by sentence, of course it shifts POV. All narratives do so. But normatively, it's second-person because of narrative distance.

I have story that I consider second person, but many would consider first person, simply because the "you" character doesn't appear to be a part of the action, simply a person that is addressed by the protagonist. However, because the you character is the antagonist, I think that qualifies the story as second person, even if it is a covertly epistolary style narrative. However, it would also fall in the POV idea of moving in and out of second person, depending on scene interpretation. http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=16218