Writing from first person view

[EmilyM]

Hi all. Totally new here and totally new to writing stories. I'm working on my first story. I've outlined 8 chapters and have started putting things together. I'm writing it from the first person perspective and wondering how much actual dialogue vs. inner dialogue you prefer in your stories that are written from first person viewpoint?

I feel like in quite a few areas of the storyline, I have an immense amount of actual dialogue compared to other stories I read which seem to have a lot more inner thoughts.

Also, do you start a new line of text for every time someone new is talking? For instance:

"Lets go there," I said.

"Ok sounds good to me," he replied.

I grabbed my keys and out the door we went....

 

[sr71plt]

Standard answer #3: This is a huge site serving a full range of interests/preferences. Asking what is preferred here about anything is so much spitting in the wind. Write what you want to write the way you like to write it. Post it and you'll have both fans and detractors. That's the way a site this broadly based works.

And welcome to Literotica.

 

[lovecraft68]

Hi all. Totally new here and totally new to writing stories. I'm working on my first story. I've outlined 8 chapters and have started putting things together. I'm writing it from the first person perspective and wondering how much actual dialogue vs. inner dialogue you prefer in your stories that are written from first person viewpoint?

I feel like in quite a few areas of the storyline, I have an immense amount of actual dialogue compared to other stories I read which seem to have a lot more inner thoughts.

Also, do you start a new line of text for every time someone new is talking? For instance:

"Lets go there," I said.

"Ok sounds good to me," he replied.

I grabbed my keys and out the door we went....

No worries on dialogue versus narrative that is a question of style as long as dialogue flows it will work and you're letting the characters tell the reader about themselves that way

Yes you need a separate for each line-as long as its two people speaking if one person is continuing a sentence you do not example

"That's what she said," Ken rolled his eyes, "Now you're telling me the same thing."

Same guy so no. But your example is correct for a conversation.

 

[soflabbwlvr]

Yes, you start a new line every time you have a different speaker.
.

 

[RejectReality]

Yes, you start a new paragraph every time you switch speakers.

I don't think there's any right or wrong answer to the balance between inner and normal dialogue.

Edit: And, repeat everything everyone else said *laugh* That's what I get for getting up to do something before hitting the submit button.

Hi all. Totally new here and totally new to writing stories. I'm working on my first story. I've outlined 8 chapters and have started putting things together. I'm writing it from the first person perspective and wondering how much actual dialogue vs. inner dialogue you prefer in your stories that are written from first person viewpoint?

I feel like in quite a few areas of the storyline, I have an immense amount of actual dialogue compared to other stories I read which seem to have a lot more inner thoughts.

Also, do you start a new line of text for every time someone new is talking? For instance:

"Lets go there," I said.

"Ok sounds good to me," he replied.

I grabbed my keys and out the door we went....

 

[EmilyM]

Ok thanks for the replies everyone. I appreciate it. I will be sure to add paragraph returns each time a new person is speaking and I also don't want the story to sound like it was written by an artist (no offense to artists).

The technical stuff I feel is really important to developing a readable and likeable writing style that works. So far there are two main characters but they interact with others along the way.

It's quite fun this writing stuff!

 

[MSTarot]

Ok thanks for the replies everyone. I appreciate it. I will be sure to add paragraph returns each time a new person is speaking and I also don't want the story to sound like it was written by an artist (no offense to artists).

The technical stuff I feel is really important to developing a readable and likeable writing style that works. So far there are two main characters but they interact with others along the way.

It's quite fun this writing stuff!

Yes it is. It is also a very good way to help deal with a lot of your own inner dialog.

Porn writing therapy 101.

I use a lot of first person and heavy dialog. Look over my lists, I write in a lot of category so maybe something will appeal. And just maybe some story of mine will help your writing.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=1384609&page=submissions


MST

 

[SamScribble]

Hello, Emily. And welcome to the AH. If you are finding 'this writing stuff' fun, that's a really good start. And, as Thomas Edison said: 'There ain't no rules around here! We're trying to accomplish something!'

Of course, there are a few basic conventions; but, after that, it's up to you. Try what you want to try - and see if it works. Good luck.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Welcome to the AH.

I too write a lot of first person POV stories with a lot of dialog, how else are you to learn about he other characters without they "I" person telling you about them.

As for dialog: You have three answers all correct. Now for a little depth.

If you have a multi-paragraph bit of dialog, you don't end the paragraphs with a " until the speaker is finished.

example:

"paragraph 1

"paragraph 2

"final paragraph."

This lets the reader know it's the same person talking. Good luck and happy writing.

 

[jezzaz]

Writing in first person gives you a ton of freedom to express what the principle character is thinking, but it comes with it's own disadvantages too.

Firstly, while you can go indepth on the principle character, you effectively shut out everyone else. The only thing you can do is give them lots of dialog and have your protagonist imagine what he thinks they are feeling. You can never express it the way you express his inner dialog.

This works great for people who are in pain and so on, but it really sucks when trying to express how someone else is feeling, particularly if the protagnoist doesn't see it, or doesn't understand it. The reader is in no doubt as to the principle characters feelings, but can never be sure about anyone elses.

Secondly, it makes it very difficult to talk about events that happen when the principle character isn't there. Unless he's either snooping to discover what happened, or someone is explaining them, you kinda lose that. Be very careful when using another character to describe an event that happens external to the protagonist - a lot of writers fall into the trap of needing the detail be very heavy, and as a result you end up with dialog that is extremely unnatural. People gloss over details, and they don't talk as though it was someone writing a description, which is what you tend to get a lot of when people are in first person, and using someone else to talk about that exterior event.

Thirdly, you have to maintain the consistency of thinking with first person. Lots of stories don't do this - in one chapter, the character is thinking this and feeling that, and then in chapter three, they are at the other end of the spectrum. While it's fine to have a protagonist change their feelings, you always have to explain why. Because you are basically fine tuned into the principle characters thinking, you have to explain it a lot more, and if anything fundamental changes from the initial character you put in place, you have to follow through and detail that. Readers are generally lazy and need you to hand hold them. That doesn't mean you treat them with contempt, you just have to be aware that you may know what your main character is feeling and thinking, but they don't.

I love first person, personally, but it does come with it's own set of issues.

 

[Hypoxia]

I find that I'm most comfortable with 1st person. For one thing, the constraint of only writing what the narrator experiences (in action, thought and feeling) makes we work harder. Also, I am just accustomed to narrating, a product of my journal-writing history. That history

Other personae: I avoid 2nd person except in songs. I've written in 3rd person limited (3PL), where each section focuses on the experiences of a single person. I dislike pure 3rd person omniscient (3PO) because it's too easy - I don't really want to play god, too easy to cheat. I see 3PL as very similar to 1st person, just offering more flexibility. It's also useful for handling multiple viewpoints, such as a multi-generation story such as my BRIDE OF KONG mini-series.

Still, it's a matter of where the author is competent and comfortable, and where you might want to experiment. My experiments have shown me that dialog is vital. Still, I set myself limits, then push them. That's just me. Have fun!

 

[Zeb_Carter]

I find that I'm most comfortable with 1st person. For one thing, the constraint of only writing what the narrator experiences (in action, thought and feeling) makes we work harder. Also, I am just accustomed to narrating, a product of my journal-writing history. That history

Other personae: I avoid 2nd person except in songs. I've written in 3rd person limited (3PL), where each section focuses on the experiences of a single person. I dislike pure 3rd person omniscient (3PO) because it's too easy - I don't really want to play god, too easy to cheat. I see 3PL as very similar to 1st person, just offering more flexibility. It's also useful for handling multiple viewpoints, such as a multi-generation story such as my BRIDE OF KONG mini-series.

Still, it's a matter of where the author is competent and comfortable, and where you might want to experiment. My experiments have shown me that dialog is vital. Still, I set myself limits, then push them. That's just me. Have fun!

Yes...2nd person...used mainly for user manuals when there were such things. Of those I have written many.

3rd person...Zeb Carter has used it, how well he doesn't rightly know. He would like to think he did a good job, but as of yet, no one has commented as to its use by him.

 

[shutterpsb]

I've got three stories up on the site so far, they're all written in first person, but most of my writing experience is in third person. I'm also having some fun writing "I" instead of "he or she". I use dialog to tell the story as much as possible, as long as it sounds natural, like people talking. If it doesn't flow, I switch to inner monologue or narration which ever is more efficient. Just remember to tell the story you want to tell.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

"Why use my elbow and foot?"

"Well, gosh," was his reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"

There you go properly formatted.

 

[QuestionableReality]

I'm currently writing in first. It is rather challenging because both of the "main" characters are supposed to be dynamic. Personally, the avoidance of "I" and "my" are still rather prevalent because it seems too self-inflated. However, the story is planned to be told by the female protagonist who views the male as the antagonist. Spoiler alert: In other words the female protagonist has panic attacks (seizures due to anxiety) due to her deep fears of the male lead. Therefore, to really capture the emotional turmoil first person has been in order.

The trick to avoid overuse of "I" and "my" is sentence inversion and to remember that after establishing the narrative stance and character then the reader knows the narrator is speaking. A slight reminder may be in order, but honestly not extremely necessary. Really it is just the narrator speaking to someone. I will say that it is rather unusual to write in first person if you are not used to it!

 

[laptopwriter]

When writing in first person...

you have to think of yourself as a witness in court. You can only testify to what you have seen or heard, everything else is hearsay and not admissible.

 

[EmilyM]

So much great feedback! Thank so much everyone.

I have run into the same problem that jezzaz speaks of with problem #2, writing about an event in the story where the main character isn't there. It just doesn't seem possible and believable to tell that part if the main character isn't in the room. In fact I ended up changing my storyline a little so the main character is always there. It's a short story so I think it will work for this one.

corinafut14, thanks for the wonderful example of proper punctuation. It's confusing at times when to use commas (,) and question marks (?) when writing dialogue between the characters. I was especially confused when the character asks a question:

"What color is that?" he replied.

Ok to put the question mark in the middle of the sentence if it's quoted, or better to place the descriptive text (he replied) in the beginning of the sentence like you did?

Simon asked, "what color is that?"

you have to think of yourself as a witness in court. You can only testify to what you have seen or heard, everything else is hearsay and not admissible.

LOL that's a good way to remember it.

 

[Hypoxia]

I have run into the same problem that jezzaz speaks of with problem #2, writing about an event in the story where the main character isn't there. It just doesn't seem possible and believable to tell that part if the main character isn't in the room. In fact I ended up changing my storyline a little so the main character is always there. It's a short story so I think it will work for this one.

If my narrator isn't present to witness an event, they may overhear others talking about it. Yes, legally that's hearsay, but we readers know what the narrator says they witnessed and overheard. This is common in CHEATER tales where the cheated overhears the cheater arranging or bragging about their infidelity.

I use that ploy in the Earth Day story I'm writing now, told from the 1st-person POV of a cheater who eavesdrops on the cheated talking with friends about their relationship. That's how I work the cheated's reactions and feelings into the tale without going 3PO (3rd-person omniscient). I may use some 3PO sections in a 3PL (3rd-person limited) tale, but never with a narrator.

It gets fun-fun-fun when what's overheard ISN'T a truthful account, or when the narrator mishears what was said, or when the narrator insanely misconstrues what they heard. Such data transmission errors can provide wonderful plot twists. Ah, what tangled webs we weave...

 

[robertreams]

I had an English Professor who ranted and raved about, "First person". One must never write in the First person. This is not correct. I frustrated the hell out of him by always replying, "Chapter One, I Am Born." The first line of the first page of Great Expectations.

 

[robertreams]

The only problem I have with first person narratives is that so many 'writers' use it as an excuse for bad writing and bad grammar. They tell me: "If my narrator uses slang, flooding the page with 'valley girl' usage and confusing plot, that's okay because my narrator is one of my ignorant characters. Them talking that way is just that it is just the way I still choose to write my stuff and I am still going to keep on writing my stories that way no matter what the 'grammar Nazis' say bout that."

 

[PennLady]

I had an English Professor who ranted and raved about, "First person". One must never write in the First person. This is not correct. I frustrated the hell out of him by always replying, "Chapter One, I Am Born." The first line of the first page of Great Expectations.

Well, that's just silly. First person isn't my preference for reading or writing, but I have done both and there are some excellent and classic stories written in first person, as you've noted.

To quote Bugs Bunny, what a maroon.

And to your other post, if I had a "valley girl" narrator, I'd be out of that story real quick.

 

[laptopwriter]

I like both first and third person,

I actually like to write in first person. For me it makes things more personal, especially when trying to draw the reader into the emotional aspects of the main character. "I" just seems to carry more weight when describing someone's inner turmoil than "he," or "she," at least for me.

I also like having the strength of one character guiding the reader through the story from beginning to end. It's just simply not always possible. On a couple of occasions I have started a story in first person only to get so far and realize it has to be told in third person. Thank God for the search feature in Word; going back and changing all nouns and pronouns from page one can be a real drag.

 

[Hypoxia]

I actually like to write in first person. For me it makes things more personal, especially when trying to draw the reader into the emotional aspects of the main character. "I" just seems to carry more weight when describing someone's inner turmoil than "he," or "she," at least for me.

Quite right. Omniscience is too easy and thus too weak.

I also like having the strength of one character guiding the reader through the story from beginning to end. It's just simply not always possible. On a couple of occasions I have started a story in first person only to get so far and realize it has to be told in third person.

I've mostly written in 1st person, and it's worked -- except in a multi-generation tale. 3PL (3rd person limited) can be almost as effective as 1st person, without the overweening power of 3PO (3rd person omniscient). I envision 3PO as most suited for farce and tragedy.

Thank God for the search feature in Word; going back and changing all nouns and pronouns from page one can be a real drag.

BillGates is Satan, not Jehovah. But I digress. I've seen otherwise well-written stories where global changes were not checked. So, one writer used SLO for San Luis Obispo, then decided to change the locale to Cambria (just up the coast). This resulted in constructs like "She moved Cambriawly." Sacre bleu!

 

[Zeb_Carter]

BillGates is Satan, not Jehovah. But I digress. I've seen otherwise well-written stories where global changes were not checked. So, one writer used SLO for San Luis Obispo, then decided to change the locale to Cambria (just up the coast). This resulted in constructs like "She moved Cambriawly." Sacre bleu!

Yep, you really have to watch that. Using the "Match Case" feature works wonders. As does placing a space at the end of the name, Match Case is much better though.

Just an FYI - helpful little hint - HLH.

 

[Bramblethorn]

If my narrator isn't present to witness an event, they may overhear others talking about it. Yes, legally that's hearsay, but we readers know what the narrator says they witnessed and overheard. This is common in CHEATER tales where the cheated overhears the cheater arranging or bragging about their infidelity.

A pitfall to be avoided here is the "As you know, Bob, last night we had sex three times" construction where the recap sounds staged. Writers need to consider how these people would naturally speak, and not just "what info do I need to convey to the reader?"

Making the dialogue more natural also allows more opportunity for those fun misunderstandings that you mention.

I had an English Professor who ranted and raved about, "First person". One must never write in the First person. This is not correct. I frustrated the hell out of him by always replying, "Chapter One, I Am Born." The first line of the first page of Great Expectations.

"Call me Ishmael."

The only problem I have with first person narratives is that so many 'writers' use it as an excuse for bad writing and bad grammar. They tell me: "If my narrator uses slang, flooding the page with 'valley girl' usage and confusing plot, that's okay because my narrator is one of my ignorant characters. Them talking that way is just that it is just the way I still choose to write my stuff and I am still going to keep on writing my stories that way no matter what the 'grammar Nazis' say bout that."

Just about everybody who writes porn does this to some extent. I don't see a lot of "he slid his glans between her labia minora and then she achieved orgasm at the same time that he ejaculated". Most authors will use more slang-y words, unless they're trying to convey a very formal sort of character. IMHO it's about doing it in moderation, without using so much slang that it gets jarring to the reader; the catch is that what's jarring to you may be natural to me, and vice versa.