Writing for women

[angela146]

You might think it would be easy for me to write erotic stories that appeal to women. All I would have to do is to write a story that turns me on and it would probably turn other women on too. Makes sense, right?

Well, it isn't that easy.

First of all, most of my story-telling experience comes from whispering in my husband's ear at night, so I am used to telling stories that are designed to excite the male libido.

Second, and far more complicated, is the fact that my own fantasies are very un-storylike. When I fantasize, I don't think of a story that has a narrative with a beginning, middle and end.

Rather, I close my eyes and imagine the scenario that I want to create. In fact, I usually mull it over for a long time, toying with various ideas for background and lead-up and reasons why it's going to happen and motivation on my part and his part or her part. I begin touching myself early on, slowly building up my excitement but pausing now and then to make it last longer.

Only after an hour or two (or three) of mulling and considering do I get down to the actual fantasy that is going to get me off, and then only because I am close to my orgasm. From the time the "story" of my fantasy begins to the time I start to orgasm is usually only a minute or two.

Writing all of that mulling and thinking into a story that would be exciting for me - or for another woman - is next to impossible. I could certainly write it all down but it wouldn't be a story. It would read like an author's room full of crumpled paper, each piece with a sentence or two of scene and character development.

So, now that I have you all thinking about me lying in bed and playing with myself...

How do I translate the complative, wandering, dreamlike fantasy style of a woman (or at least of this particular woman) into a piece of erotic literature that might be readable?

Or am I just wierd? Do other women fantasize the way I do or do some of you actually have fantasies with a plot line?

 

[rydia57]

Hi,

You could try writing a journal. That's what helped me. The more you write to make it more presentable to yourself, the better writer you become. But to appeal to a female... when I was starting trying to put it into words, I would just get a recorder and when something that turned me on came to my head, I would say everything that was happening. Then I would turn on some music, get myself relaxed and sit in my chair and write or type up the notes fromthe recording. Reading other fantasies helps too. Hope that helps.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Writing all of that mulling and thinking into a story that would be exciting for me - or for another woman - is next to impossible. I could certainly write it all down but it wouldn't be a story. It would read like an author's room full of crumpled paper, each piece with a sentence or two of scene and character development.

but it's the build-up of the story that's important... especially for a woman... the emotional development of the characters, their motivations... you spend time creating that for your own personal fantasies... you just have to translate that into writing a story...

So you tell yourself the story while you're laying there languishing (lovely image ) ... now tell US that story... what is he like, what is she like, where are they, why are they there, how are they feeling, how do they happen to be together, how do they feel about each other... that's telling a story...

 

[Colleen Thomas]

You might think it would be easy for me to write erotic stories that appeal to women. All I would have to do is to write a story that turns me on and it would probably turn other women on too. Makes sense, right?

Well, it isn't that easy.

First of all, most of my story-telling experience comes from whispering in my husband's ear at night, so I am used to telling stories that are designed to excite the male libido.

Second, and far more complicated, is the fact that my own fantasies are very un-storylike. When I fantasize, I don't think of a story that has a narrative with a beginning, middle and end.

Rather, I close my eyes and imagine the scenario that I want to create. In fact, I usually mull it over for a long time, toying with various ideas for background and lead-up and reasons why it's going to happen and motivation on my part and his part or her part. I begin touching myself early on, slowly building up my excitement but pausing now and then to make it last longer.

Only after an hour or two (or three) of mulling and considering do I get down to the actual fantasy that is going to get me off, and then only because I am close to my orgasm. From the time the "story" of my fantasy begins to the time I start to orgasm is usually only a minute or two.

Writing all of that mulling and thinking into a story that would be exciting for me - or for another woman - is next to impossible. I could certainly write it all down but it wouldn't be a story. It would read like an author's room full of crumpled paper, each piece with a sentence or two of scene and character development.

So, now that I have you all thinking about me lying in bed and playing with myself...

How do I translate the complative, wandering, dreamlike fantasy style of a woman (or at least of this particular woman) into a piece of erotic literature that might be readable?

Or am I just wierd? Do other women fantasize the way I do or do some of you actually have fantasies with a plot line?

I have a little experience at trying to write for women

Few fantasys, when I'm...actively persuing them, have a detailed plot of even, in most cases a specific time line.

Rather than try and capture the surreal quality of your fantasies as you have them, try putting a one or two word value on the high points. When you're done fantacising and are ready to write, take a look at the words you used. I'm going to hazard a guess that the words are generally emotive words and that they seem very pale reflections of the fantasy. The images you are "seeinbg" might be describeable, but they probably have complex, evocative connotations to you that transcend the image istelf.

Writing erotica for women is, in my experience at least, a lot more about bringing out those emotive connotations than it is about simply describing the acts.

To simplfy, and yes, this is a gross generalization, not applicable to all men or all women. A guy will generally find it sufficent to know what is going on and will be content with a visible or demonstrative orgasm from the female protag. A female reader is going to be more turned on by knowing what she is feeling/thinking in the moments before and through her orgasm.

In general, male geared erotica is looking for a visceral response. Erotica geared to women is, in general, looking for an emotive response.

With a strong reminder that whenever you say you want to write erotica geared to men or geared to women, you are writing to a type that isn't neccessarily true, If you want to write erotica that appeals to women, you need to get that emotive response. It's amore difficult type of writing, in that you are dealing with concepts more than body parts, but it's also easier in that you don't have to go into gorry detail in every sex scene to trip the fantasy you are shooting for.

Good Luck

 

[mismused]

delete

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I think most people's fantasies are pretty un-storylike. They're usually just scenes or scenarios. The story is what we write to get our characters into those scenarios. If we're lucky (or good), our story has meaning beyond the mere act of sex, but most of the interesting stuff in a story comes from finding ways to get your characters into that fantasy situation that are believable and revealing. That's where the creativity and challenge comes in.

 

[Alpheratz]

Most stories I write are aimed at the 50+ woman. Doesn't mean I always hit my mark. Two reasons. Women that age are often more articulate about explaining their feelings, therefore I understand what they are telling me. Second because stories like such require a beginning, a middle and an end. I can't just start in with her legs wide open. I have to encourage her, have to be patient, have to let her own fantasy develop. Then I can't slap a lot of wet stuff at her in the middle of everything, because she's already grown past all of that. She wants the sexual adventure to be about feelings, not about ejaculation. I write better about feelings than I do ejaculation. Finally, she wants to be held afterwards. She wants arms around her. She wants to be cuddled and nuzzled and cared for and held until she sleeps. And in the morning she wants breakfast. The aroma of freshly made coffee. Maybe some biscuits in the oven. Some sausage cooking. She wants to lie in bed awhile and have someone bring these things to her and tell her that she is beautiful in the mornings and that the day will be a good day because of her presence.

So I kinda write around those elements. May seem redundant, but then there are a lot of 50+ women out there who want the fantasy to be about them. I want to
cover as many possibilities as possible, so maybe they can read it and say "Yeah, that's me, y'know."

And that night when she goes to sleep, maybe she'll feel the arms of the guy in my story around her until she sleeps.

 

[oggbashan]

I think you are making too large an assumption.

IMHO there is no such thing as an erotic story for women (or men).

There are stories and scenarios that might appeal to some women and have no impact on others. 'Women' is a generalisation. Women (and men) are people who have distinct tastes that differ.

What is possible is to write a story or scenario that is popular - see the 'Top Lists' of any category but no story is likely to be universally acceptable to either or both sexes.

Write a story that appeals to you, or seems to fit mass appeal as defined by the 'Top Lists', and you are likely to succeed in producing a good story. What its impact will be depends on the readers.

Og

 

[Alpheratz]

You are very right, Og. Still, just as there are such things as "Chick flicks" versus
"shoot'em ups" in the movies, there are different audiences for erotica. Some have an easier time identifying with one kind of erotica more than others.

Writing erotica for women has always seemed to require a more delicate hand than for men. At least the kind of women I normally encounter. If I am writing only for my own erotic enjoyment, I would have a half dozen or so Dallas Cheerleaders engaged in girl on girl stuff while they... Well, you get the idea.

When I ask women, especially women who have "been there and done that" what they find appealing, their answers almost always include holding, caring, taking one's time, cuddling, waiting for her to catch up... That sort of thing.

If I include those elements in my stories, then the target reader can identify more readily with it, and isn't the best purpose of an erotic story the ability of the reader to identify with the participant? As for the guys... Shrug. Show 'em labia agape and they pretty much can take it from there. But I want to "hold" her, I want to "cuddle" her, I want to "be patient" for her, I want her to have a real wallbanger of an orgasm and baske afterwards in the ennui of aftercome. To get there takes time for the older woman.

Meanwhile the guys who are reading the story have already changed paper towels twice.

 

[Boota]

I wrote my story on Lit for two specific women, but it turned out to be fairly broad in appeal, female-wise. I've also gotten a lot of positive feedback from men, though, so I'd have to agree with Og in that there are too many generalizations.

 

[coochie]

It depends if its a love story or not. I like getting right to sex when its about that. Love stories have to be slow and easy.

 

[cantdog]

I write now almost always toward women, or toward an 'audience' I see as female. It makes me focus.

 

[LadyPolgara]

Being new to the writing of erotica i find myself writing about things that i find erotic. But the one thing that appears to be a universal trait of all genres is the story its self. Whether i write or read horror, fantasy, romance or erotica it has to be a good story. Everyone finds different things erotic from the bodice ripping earth shattering erotic to the slow sensual experience. Emotions play a huge part in the whole thing as well. What i find erotic one day i may not the day after.
I do agree though that men are more visual and graphic whereas woman go with their emotions more.From a personal point of view i love writing for a man because i write fantasies for my gorgous partner.Whenever i have read erotic books for woman i am amazed at the amount of bondage included. Personally im not into that so it can get abit frustrating and i find myself skipping over it to get back to the actual story.Go with what feels right for you and see what happens. You might be pleasantly surprised.

 

[Aurora Black]

Being new to the writing of erotica i find myself writing about things that i find erotic. But the one thing that appears to be a universal trait of all genres is the story its self. Whether i write or read horror, fantasy, romance or erotica it has to be a good story. Everyone finds different things erotic from the bodice ripping earth shattering erotic to the slow sensual experience. Emotions play a huge part in the whole thing as well. What i find erotic one day i may not the day after.
I do agree though that men are more visual and graphic whereas woman go with their emotions more.From a personal point of view i love writing for a man because i write fantasies for my gorgous partner.Whenever i have read erotic books for woman i am amazed at the amount of bondage included. Personally im not into that so it can get abit frustrating and i find myself skipping over it to get back to the actual story.Go with what feels right for you and see what happens. You might be pleasantly surprised.

*nods in agreement* I'm too lazy right now to write my own response.

Welcome to Lit and the AH, LadyPolgara.

 

[LadyPolgara]

Hello to you to.