Writing Exercise

[flyer333]

My other half feels I am acting too boastful. All I want to do is provide a forum to improve the writing skills of others that many yearn for (I know, that statement in and of itsefl sounds boastful but not intentionally)

The carrot I dangle is to improve upon the following dialogue. <Placing the coach hat on my head>. Imagine yourself in a bar. You've had too many (as I have had this evening). The woman of your dreams stands only a few feet away.

"Hi""Hi""Nice day""Lovely"

<Remember, no specifics and use paragraphs. No height, no references to breast size>

<There is no "right" answer, let your imagination rule!>

What is preferred, I believe:

Describe them without "describing" them. Where are they? What environmental factors would reveal their physical attributes? Being in a bar the A/C might kick on and the sudden blast of cold air might harden their nipples, or a ceiling fan might move theiir hair out of place. A person passing by might brush aganst them.

Imagine yourself in that position. Close your eyes. How do you feel? What woud you touch, hear, feel, taste, or smell? Being a bar, maybe smoke. Or if they banned cigarettes, maybe a lingering scent? That's what I envision.

PM me with your responses if you would like hoest feedback. need an idea. What I want is for others to share in this capability.

I will do all I can to ensure others can enjoy the same pleasure I derive from posting.

 

[flyer333]

Shamed again..sorry

I thought it was good but alas I screwed ther pooch again. Damned Evan Williams...LOL

Hmmm...maybe I was doing it wrong before :>

 

[J.Q. Hack]

I like the idea of a writing exercise of this type. Too often I'll read a Lit story that starts off decent enough just to come across what I call a grocery list description. You know how they all read: Mary/Susan/Tracey (or whoever) is 5'5" with blonde hair and 34B tits.

That type of description doesn't do anything for me. I prefer to have the details spread out over paragraphs or even pages. Slowly reveal the details, perhaps as another character sees them or as the character themself sees it. Let sight, texture and taste do the describing. Instead of telling us that a woman has 34B breasts tell us how they look in her bra or in her shirt or how they move when she dances. Don't clobber us with numbers but show us with details.

I think if you try to do that your writing will be much better and the story will become all that more erotic.