Writing about something you never experienced?

[scorpia95]

hey guys..

I'm have difficulty writing about things that I personally haven't experienced. For example, how do I describe what a female orgasm feels like when I have never experienced it? and a lot of other stuff like that...

I mean I read enough that I can write something on it, but how would I go on describing it my own way? I don't just want to use words that other people used when they described it in their stories..

How do you guys do it?

 

[sr71plt]

Read what others write and look for what seems both authentic and arousing to you. Don't try to write all aspects of everything early in your writing development until you've absorbed some research.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Find a little something in your own experience to act as an anchor, and then use your imagination, fantasise, find words and images that interest and arouse you. If you're not excited by your own thoughts, no-one else will be. Passion shows through.

I find a little chunk of truth in a story always serves as a good foundation - it doesn't need to be much, just something that you felt strongly about or were moved by. With me, it tends to be some very small moment or image, or a few words spoken, but it needs to be intimate and closely observed.

 

[scorpia95]

Read what others write and look for what seems both authentic and arousing to you. Don't try to write all aspects of everything early in your writing development until you've absorbed some research.

Research.

Can't believe I didn't think of that lol. For some reason I thought writing erotica was more of a "do it while your in the moment" thing. I think I need to go read up on the subject rather than simply reading more erotica.

Thank you.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

I stay away from what I don't know.

That said, there are transferable experiences.

I never drove a Cadillac, but I drove Buicks and Olds and Pontiac. There are cosmetic differences but theyre the same cars.

I been thru several hurricanes, all were different, and 2 that passed over me seemed tame tho places nearby caught hell. I've slept with many women and all report different responses that cover the possibilities.

 

[J_R_Ashunwhy]

hey guys..

I'm have difficulty writing about things that I personally haven't experienced. For example, how do I describe what a female orgasm feels like when I have never experienced it?
...

Are you currently in a relationship with a woman, or do you have chatty lady friends who are comfortable talking about such subjects? Ask.

Or, you could ask for ladies on one of the boards for help, but some will be wary of your intentions.

 

[HeyAll]

I've never experienced the majority of stuff I write about.

Just use your eyes and describe what you see. Watch a porn clip where a woman orgasms, and think about the little details that you're seeing. The little things she does.

 

[sr71plt]

I never drove a Cadillac, but I drove Buicks and Olds and Pontiac. There are cosmetic differences but theyre the same cars.

These are "short cut" code words in literary use. "Cadillac" says showy and wealthy in one image. The "Buick" people have acknowledged that "Buick" means stodgy and well-fixed financially (a step below wealthy) by their several years of "not your father's car" advertising. You invoke "Olds" and "Pontiac" now, you are evoking second-hand--maybe as extreme as Cuba--because these brands now are defunct. This sort of image is very useful for "showing" rather than "telling" in writing short stories. "Yugo" denotes dumb and cheap.

 

[Handley_Page]

hey guys..

I'm have difficulty writing about things that I personally haven't experienced. For example, how do I describe what a female orgasm feels like when I have never experienced it? and a lot of other stuff like that...

I mean I read enough that I can write something on it, but how would I go on describing it my own way? I don't just want to use words that other people used when they described it in their stories..

How do you guys do it?

You might find site like Youtube and so on a great help in your research.
A number of porn site of similar intention might tell you a bit more, too.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I've never experienced the majority of stuff I write about.

Just use your eyes and describe what you see. Watch a porn clip where a woman orgasms, and think about the little details that you're seeing. The little things she does.

I wouldn't take porn as an educational resource here. Most porn is shot to stimulate the viewer and get them off, not to provide an accurate depiction of how sex really works. Porn orgasms (real or faked) tend to play up the groaning and gasping side of things and ignore the stuff that doesn't make for good visuals, or that can't easily be faked.

For example - it's not uncommon for a woman to become very very flushed in the face and chest when close to orgasm, to the point where it looks like a rash, but how often do you see that in porn?

 

[sr71plt]

The porn vids have given me some interesting positions--but then I imagine we're watching different vids.

 

[Hypoxia]

1. Research.
2. Plagiarize.
3. Fantasize.
4. Lie about it.

Much of what I write is straight reporting. Much more is utter bullshit. Authors are liars with keyboards. Don't let reality slow you down.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

hey guys..

I'm have difficulty writing about things that I personally haven't experienced. For example, how do I describe what a female orgasm feels like when I have never experienced it? and a lot of other stuff like that...

I mean I read enough that I can write something on it, but how would I go on describing it my own way? I don't just want to use words that other people used when they described it in their stories..

How do you guys do it?

So, you never watched, listened, asked question of you partner(female) about what's going on in her body and mind?

 

[scorpia95]

So, you never watched, listened, asked question of you partner(female) about what's going on in her body and mind?

well.. I tried my hardest to not mention this because its embarrassing... I'm a virgin. Religion and all that.

edit: To give more context, I grew up very sheltered. Didn't even find out how babies were born till i was 14.

 

[ElectricBlue]

well.. I tried my hardest to not mention this because its embarrassing... I'm a virgin. Religion and all that.

edit: To give more context, I grew up very sheltered. Didn't even find out how babies were born till i was 14.

So write from that perspective and write the fantasies you know and conjure up. Don't be embarrassed about anything to do with sexuality, your's is yours, and be true to it.

Remember also that many people probably exaggerate unbelievably as to what their experience actually is (ie, true experience level far less than they might want us all to believe), so don't sweat that. We're all guilty of that, I suspect, it's as you get older the bullshit can be made to sound more convincing....

Also, note well that video porn possibly isn't the best source for reliable and accurate information, although there is some genuine material floating about. If you want to see some female orgasmic responses that are far away from the "porn norm", go see Hysterical Literature

http://hystericalliterature.com

Some lovely readings, there.

 

[legerdemer]

So write from that perspective and write the fantasies you know and conjure up. Don't be embarrassed about anything to do with sexuality, your's is yours, and be true to it.

Remember also that many people probably exaggerate unbelievably as to what their experience actually is (ie, true experience level far less than they might want us all to believe), so don't sweat that. We're all guilty of that, I suspect, it's as you get older the bullshit can be made to sound more convincing....

Also, note well that video porn possibly isn't the best source for reliable and accurate information, although there is some genuine material floating about. If you want to see some female orgasmic responses that are far away from the "porn norm", go see Hysterical Literature

http://hystericalliterature.com

Some lovely readings, there, at Hysterical Literature. That's a great reference, especially as it shows how much you can learn from facial expressions and body posture without anything explicit or X-rated.

A while ago now, I wanted to write from the POV of a male protagonist, including the experience of orgasm. But I have never *felt* how a man feels when he has an orgasm. So I asked - I started a thread here, in the AH forum, saying that I was doing research, and a handful of men were kind enough to respond. No one was rude, and no one used it as an opportunity to hit on me. Anyway, the result is in my story The Tell-Tale Touch, and you can judge for yourself. While it isn't my most successful story here, no one complained about an unrealistic male, either. (Perhaps they were being extra nice. )

Anyway, the point is that this is part of the fun of writing - stretching yourself beyond your limits, but taking manageable challenges.

Best of luck.

 

[SamScribble]

It depends to a large extent on what you are trying to write. Fiction is fiction – usually based on fact. But the degree of fact, of truth, of verisimilitude, varies considerably.

According to readers, one of my most successful ‘tricks’ is mixing factual facts with fictional facts. I write what I know interspersed with what I imagine. After that, it’s up to the reader. Either they buy it or they don’t. Happily, they generally do.

If you write something that seems to be true, it doesn’t really matter whether it’s true or not. In the context of your story, black can be white and the sky can be green. It’s your story.

Now … get on with the writing. And good luck.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

The problem with MAKING IT UP is: Plenty of readers know the experience and will recognize the bluff. Bluff is obvious to the experienced. The other term for bluff is BULL SHIT. So your fans will be naïve readers. A good example is proper names.

One of my family lines is TALIAFERRO. Every Italian speaker in the world knows it means IRON CUTTER and is pronounced TALIA FERRO. But all are wrong.

The correct pronunciation is TOLLIVER.

TALIAFERRO STREET runs thru the heart of Tampa but few can ever find it because the name is pronounced TOLLIVER. Naïve speakers don't know, and old timers spot them quickly.

I have 50 years experience with psychiatric jargon. I know the old and the new terms. Today on tv an 'expert' used SCHIZZOPHRENIC to characterize AMBIVANCE. But for real schizophrenic is a nominalization (noun used as verb) for a class of thought disorders. Ambivalence is the word for holding conflicted sentiments for something. So to me the expert is naïve. And ambivalence is different from POLARITY RESPONSE.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

well.. I tried my hardest to not mention this because its embarrassing... I'm a virgin. Religion and all that.

edit: To give more context, I grew up very sheltered. Didn't even find out how babies were born till i was 14.

Well then, Houston we have a problem. It's really hard to write about either side of the equation for you then? Because making love to a woman is way different and way better then jerking off.

 

[holliday1960]

So write from that perspective and write the fantasies you know and conjure up. Don't be embarrassed about anything to do with sexuality, your's is yours, and be true to it.

Remember also that many people probably exaggerate unbelievably as to what their experience actually is (ie, true experience level far less than they might want us all to believe), so don't sweat that. We're all guilty of that, I suspect, it's as you get older the bullshit can be made to sound more convincing....

Also, note well that video porn possibly isn't the best source for reliable and accurate information, although there is some genuine material floating about. If you want to see some female orgasmic responses that are far away from the "porn norm", go see Hysterical Literature

http://hystericalliterature.com

Some lovely readings, there.

So...what you're saying here is that you really made up that Aalison Aardvark story??? smh I am SO disappointed now.

 

[Areala-chan]

hey guys..

I'm have difficulty writing about things that I personally haven't experienced. For example, how do I describe what a female orgasm feels like when I have never experienced it? and a lot of other stuff like that...

I mean I read enough that I can write something on it, but how would I go on describing it my own way? I don't just want to use words that other people used when they described it in their stories..

How do you guys do it?

Doing it in such a way that no one else has described it is going to be difficult, maybe too lofty of a goal to shoot for. Don't worry about whether you're using the same words, worry about the response you're attempting to elicit from the reader with those words.

Not all orgasms are the same: we can have a small one, a bigger one, a cluster of little ones right together, nothing at all for minutes and minutes until the build-up right near blows our skulls off at the point of release, and anything in between. It all depends on how comfortable we are, personal state of mind, how much time we have, whether or not toys are involved, and so on.

I'm not a guy, so I've no idea if this is true, but it seems to me that the feeling of pleasurable release a guy gets from an orgasm has to be at least somewhat similar to the rush of endorphins that flood my brain when I climax. Maybe not on a one-for-one basis (and chances are I'll be ready to have another one a whole lot faster than he will), but there should be enough overlap that if you describe what you feel for real and want her to feel in your story, you ought to be able to fool a reader into thinking you have more experience than you actually do.

Personally I think the best way to learn what you want to express is to find writers whose work you enjoy, read them, and then dissect their work to figure out why it appeals to you so you can use those techniques to appeal to others. As long as you steal the techniques and not the words, it's not really theft.

 

[ElectricBlue]

So...what you're saying here is that you really made up that Aalison Aardvark story??? smh I am SO disappointed now.

Umm, taken out of context that comment is aactually a little aawkward to aanswer. Aare you implying that I have had intimate aacess to an aadvark? Not true, I tell you. Besides, the true protagonist is an aanteater, as you well know. I'm going to stop now, my bloody spell check is losing its lolly...

 

[holliday1960]

Umm, taken out of context that comment is aactually a little aawkward to aanswer. Aare you implying that I have had intimate aacess to an aadvark? Not true, I tell you. Besides, the true protagonist is an aanteater, as you well know. I'm going to stop now, my bloody spell check is losing its lolly...

Well, EB, if I had known you were going to be like that, I would never have become an aaunt myself.

Aand, you aare fully aaware that what I live for is to make you aactually aanswer aall those aawkward questions. Being aan aaussie, I would think your intimate aaccess to aardvarks is not only understandable, but aalmost aan aaccepted practice. Your spell checker hasn't proven to be aall that reliable in the first place so don't blame me with the fact you have to stop aagain. You )known( what I mean? Now if you're quite finished with the word games...get yourself back downunder there.

Remind me aagain...where's the grain of truth in that story?

 

[ElectricBlue]

Remind me aagain...where's the grain of truth in that story?

"She died little deaths repeatedly, and thought mama would be proud, those French lessons were so worth it."

Soixante-neuf, dontcha know... high school French, never thought it would be useful, but there you go, a grain of truth in every story!

 

[NOIRTRASH]

Dear Reader,

AH is the safe place for lotsa folks to talk out their ass about plenty they know nothing about. I estimate 95% of posts are total bull shit. Most are laughed at when talk shit at home. So they come here.