Writers Unite For Better Working Conditions!

[carsonshepherd]

Writers' Union Contract.


1. Union Member shall not be subjected to any unwanted drama from any source, up to and including: family members, romantic partners, aquaintances, internet buddies, co-workers, etc. Exclusion from this clause is voluntary and on a case-by-case basis, to be determined by Member whether he chooses to get involved or not.

2. Member shall not be called on the telephone. Any phone contact will be initiated by the Member, at his convenience.

3. Member shall not be expected to do any more than 1 hour of household chores per day, including yard work. Exclusions are strictly voluntary.

4. Member shall not be interrupted when writing.

5. Significant Others must not:

1) wander into Member's office without a specific reason, unless given permission to do so.
2) nag about any undone household chore, including laundry or cooking.
3) ever say the words "You spend more time on that computer than you do with me."

6. Member shall be allowed any and all whining, fits of insecurity, and self pity. Friends of member are required to be supportive and never use the words "Get over yourself." This clause excludes best friends of more than 10 years.

7. Member shall be forgiven any self-absorption, short of "egomaniacal" level.

8. Member is not "moody" or "scatterbrained." He is THINKING.

9. When Member is "Away" or "Busy", no IMs should be initiated, even if suspected the member is only viewing pornography and not writing. Member is free to initiate contact.

10. Any criticism on Member's work must be brutally honest and given freely without apology or fear of hurt feelings.

This contract can be amended at any time, at the Member's whim.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Addendum 1

The Member shall freely drink as much alcohol as he deems necessary for the creative process. However this clause is voided when the Member is no longer able to write, spell and punctuate a coherent sentence.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Addendum 2

When Member is staring off blankly into space while pondering a scene, the SO must not ask "What's wrong?" as this breaks the Member's train of thought.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Anyone else have any demands?

 

[Guest]

Chocolate upon demand. To enhance the creative thought processes.

 

[rgraham666]

Anyone else have any demands?

I want a masseuse. Female, between the ages of 25 and 35, red headed and of heterosexual orientation.

As long as we're at it, I would also like a pony.

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

 

[carsonshepherd]

oops! left out a word. Edited it.

 

[sophia jane]

That's brilliant Carson. I may print this up and hang it for my family to see. I wonder if they'll get the point?

SJ

 

[Guest]

I want a masseuse. Female, between the ages of 25 and 35, red headed and of heterosexual orientation.

As long as we're at it, I would also like a pony.

Well, I can't do anything about your horse, rg, but my hair is reddish-brown.

(Though I imagine we wouldn't accomplish a great deal of writing.)

 

[rgraham666]

Well, I can't do anything about your horse, rg, but my hair is reddish-brown.

(Though I imagine we wouldn't accomplish a great deal of writing.)

Perhaps not, but there would be plenty of 'inspiration'.

How fortuitous. I'm working on my first BDSM piece. You would be the perfect 'research subject' for that.

It has horses in it too. So I really need that pony.

 

[rikaaim]

Carson, that's fantastic. Finally a union contract woth a damn. I say yes to the contract.

 

[cloudy]

Perhaps not, but there would be plenty of 'inspiration'.

How fortuitous. I'm working on my first BDSM piece. You would be the perfect 'research subject' for that.

It has horses in it too. So I really need that pony.

I have several ponies.

Brilliant, Carson!

 

[rgraham666]

I have several ponies.

Brilliant, Carson!

Unfortunately, we're too far dispersed in the space-time continuum for me to get to them or them to me.

Sigh. I've learned to manage though.

Hey cloudy. Those zero-G exercises are a cast iron bitch, aren't they?

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Anyone else have any demands?

Tea, please. English Breakfast with milk and honey. Otherwise, I think you covered everything.

Also, it would help if my SO would gush with pride about how brilliant I am, instead of saying things like: "Who the hell would want to read poetry that doesn't rhyme?"

 

[H20wader]

more demands

each writer will be furnished with no less that 3 or more than 12 humans to explore the research and reactions of any sexual position or activiity. When needed the writer will be allowed to join in groups or with singles. All will be chosen by the writer with allowances for the size or lack thereof of the organ possessed by the writer. that should cover my 4.5 inches very well.

 

[angelicminx]

Proud to be a member of this Union. Carson, you are a genius!

 

[Rhys]

Charter member here.

Although I distinctly remember someone saying something about writing not posting....hmmm what was that again?

*raises eyebrow*

 

[elsol]

You forgot the most important clause!

A Member is to be given an extra five days paid vacation for when he is feeling 'inspired'. He/She/It may used those days at any time, without notice, and they accummulate ad infinitum.

Sincerely,
ElSol

 

[carsonshepherd]

I hereby declare this union contract ratified and effective immediately.

carson shepherd, president of WU Local 69.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Charter member here.

Although I distinctly remember someone saying something about writing not posting....hmmm what was that again?

*raises eyebrow*

Yes, Daddy

 

[SweetVA]

I hereby declare this union contract ratified and effective immediately.

carson shepherd, president of WU Local 69.

I'm in, where do I sign??

VA
(pretending to be a writer since 2005)

 

[carsonshepherd]

Tea, please. English Breakfast with milk and honey. Otherwise, I think you covered everything.

Also, it would help if my SO would gush with pride about how brilliant I am, instead of saying things like: "Who the hell would want to read poetry that doesn't rhyme?"

He's a schmuck.... you are brilliant and I am so very proud of you.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

He's a schmuck.... you are brilliant and I am so very proud of you.

thank you
as are you, our fearless union steward