Writer's block or Catholic guilt?

[irishmile2001]

I haven't posted a story in 2-1/2 years. Stories swim inside my head, but I stopped typing. I think the block is the result of inbred Catholic guilt. I enjoy writing, but hate myself for writing and publishing porn, something I can't chare with family and friends. Wondering if others struggle with this issue.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Lapsed (maybe prolapsed) Catholic here. The Church’s attitude to sex stinks. Consensual sex of all kinds is healthy and normal and good.

Illegitimi non carborundum, as no Roman ever said.

Em

 

[Djmac1031]

As a former member of a very strict religious cult with tons of sexually repressive rules, my suggestion/advice is simply this:

Learn to embrace and love your inner pervert.

We're all human beings. We all have desires. They're natural, normal, and in fact necessary.

Sex is only a "sin" because someone told you it is.

My biggest revelation upon leaving behind my own religious upbringing was that I wasn't some monstrous pervert obsessed with sexual deviance.

I was just an average, horny guy.

Like millions of other guys.

Do some reading do some research. Learn about your beliefs, and where they came from.

Read something besides what church pastors or religious family might approve of.

Education is the key to an informed choice and a freer mind.

Good luck.

 

[ronde]

I was raised in one of the most fundamentalist religions that exist. Everything fun was against their literal interpretation of the Bible. That included dancing, drinking, flirting, public displays of affection and any sex except that necessary for reproduction. Women were not suppose to try to make themselves attractive and were suppose to obey their husbands no matter what. Men were supposed to decide everything. Fortunately, I've always been able to think logically and was able to accept what seemed to be useful and what was just the wrong interpretation of biblical verse that's been translated at least four different times. Those translations were colored by the beliefs and in some cases the politics of the person paying for the translation.

Never feel guilty for doing something you enjoy as long as it doesn't hurt other people. I suppose I'd have to include mental stress as a form of hurt, but most people have things they don't tell even family about. My wife knows about my writing and she doesn't care one way or the other. I never told any friends or anybody at work for obvious reasons, but I don't feel guilty for doing that. I just figure what they don't know can't hurt them or me.

The way to find your way through this world is figure out what works for you while still fitting into society in general and maintaining a relationship with friends and family. Trying to alter your personality and life to fit what others think is "normal" will only lead to guilt and unhappiness. At some point in your life, you'll look back and say "Damn, I wish I'd done that while I still could."

 

[Djmac1031]

I was raised in one of the most fundamentalist religions that exist. Everything fun was against their literal interpretation of the Bible. That included dancing, drinking, flirting, public displays of affection and any sex except that necessary for reproduction. Women were not suppose to try to make themselves attractive and were suppose to obey their husbands no matter what. Men were supposed to decide everything. Fortunately, I've always been able to think logically and was able to accept what seemed to be useful and what was just the wrong interpretation of biblical verse that's been translated at least four different times. Those translations were colored by the beliefs and in some cases the politics of the person paying for the translation.

Never feel guilty for doing something you enjoy as long as it doesn't hurt other people. I suppose I'd have to include mental stress as a form of hurt, but most people have things they don't tell even family about. My wife knows about my writing and she doesn't care one way or the other. I never told any friends or anybody at work for obvious reasons, but I don't feel guilty for doing that. I just figure what they don't know can't hurt them or me.

The way to find your way through this world is figure out what works for you while still fitting into society in general and maintaining a relationship with friends and family. Trying to alter your personality and life to fit what others think is "normal" will only lead to guilt and unhappiness. At some point in your life, you'll look back and say "Damn, I wish I'd done that while I still could."

Let me guess.. Jehovahs Witness, or Mormon?

I'm an ex JW myself is why I ask. That all sounds horrifyingly familiar.

 

[Duleigh]

I haven't posted a story in 2-1/2 years. Stories swim inside my head, but I stopped typing. I think the block is the result of inbred Catholic guilt. I enjoy writing, but hate myself for writing and publishing porn, something I can't chare with family and friends. Wondering if others struggle with this issue.

Yes
No
Maybe.
I'd like to blame my lack of productivity on a lot of things, but my writing has made peace with my theological background, most sex happens in a committed relationship. It works for me, but I know the Catholic background, Monsignor Zimpher made us feel guilty for having a guitar in church. I guess that's why I never play any Led Zeppelin when I'm writing

 

[Djmac1031]

I guess that's why I never play any Led Zeppelin when I'm writing

 

[BobbyLaker]

... Sex is only a "sin" because someone told you it is.

I couldn't agree more

 

[BobbyLaker]

Yes
No
Maybe.
I'd like to blame my lack of productivity on a lot of things, but my writing has made peace with my theological background, most sex happens in a committed relationship. It works for me, but I know the Catholic background, Monsignor Zimpher made us feel guilty for having a guitar in church. I guess that's why I never play any Led Zeppelin when I'm writing

Being repressed in all matters of the flesh is one thing but being denied the pleasures of Rock & Roll is, surely, the work of Satan!

 

[MrPixel]

I don't have a horse in this race, 'cept... raised Catholic until 8-y-o, then Presbyterian through 8th grade, then Baptist until college (yes, I've been sprinkled and dunked!), then Congregational (i.e., Presbyterian-lite). Was organist for a Christian Science gathering for a short while. Current life philosophy is somewhere nebulous between Unitarian and Buddhist.

IOW, a handful of viewpoints, which taught me this grand life lesson: everybody is going to Hell in somebody's religion. Problem is, I don't believe in Hell, that's a fabrication. I blame that nonsense on Dante Alighieri.

I do believe in do unto others as you would have done unto you. Golden Rule. Be kind. So no intrinsic guilt. Enjoy life.

 

[Altissimus]

Fuck organised religions. They are all so far up their own asses that they can't see the damage they do. The core tenets similar in all (don't be a dick, be nice to people) are ones we can all live by without signing up for a dubious form of spiritual insurance that may-or-may-not pay out when we eventually shuffle off this mortal coil. Never mind that there's a mutual-exclusivity about these religions that means if, somehow, they're all as right as they claim they are, we're all going to hell.

Try and be a nice person, whatever that means, and while you're figuring it out bring great pleasure to others by writing some porn.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

I got doses of Catholic and Methodist guilt, mostly. It flares up occasionally, and one of my characters wrestles with the Catholic version. Ended up with him and boyfriend having sex while he quotes or thinks half of the Catholic funeral mass, as you do. Erotic? Probably not, but I think it made a good story.

Writing is guaranteed ethical porn that harms none.

 

[Trionyx]

Let’s not forget the child abuse at the hands of the priests and the church’s coverups.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

I haven't posted a story in 2-1/2 years. Stories swim inside my head, but I stopped typing. I think the block is the result of inbred Catholic guilt. I enjoy writing, but hate myself for writing and publishing porn, something I can't chare with family and friends. Wondering if others struggle with this issue.

Is it really Catholic guilt that you are talking about? I consider myself an agnostic and skeptic to the core, but what you wrote seems to me more like guilt and fear of social rejection. In most societies, regardless of faith, social norms say that writing porn is quite unacceptable. Simply keep that part of you hidden from the community, like most of us do (I think?)
On the other hand, if you really are a true believer in the Catholic faith, then I guess you will be in quite a struggle with yourself.

 

[Duleigh]

Let’s not forget the child abuse at the hands of the priests and the church’s coverups.

Not ignoring the or covering for their crimes but the church is actively working to fix that. That horse continues to be kicked but child abuse by school teachers occurs far more often and the school system is doing nothing but covering it up.

 

[Djmac1031]

Not ignoring the or covering for their crimes but the church is actively working to fix that. That horse continues to be kicked but child abuse by school teachers occurs far more often and the school system is doing nothing but covering it up.

You just compared the activism to stop child abuse in the churches to "kicking a horse," then switched to "whataboutism" by bringing up abuse in schools.

You may wanna rethink that approach.

The abuse in schools needs to end too, absolutely.

But the Catholic church is no "horse" being needlessly kicked.

 

[ChloeTzang]

I haven't posted a story in 2-1/2 years. Stories swim inside my head, but I stopped typing. I think the block is the result of inbred Catholic guilt. I enjoy writing, but hate myself for writing and publishing porn, something I can't chare with family and friends. Wondering if others struggle with this issue.

As a practicing Catholic, I milk the guilt and write it into my stories here and there. Personally I find it fun, but while I was brought up Catholic and still go to mass and everything, I don't internalize it at all. I guess the indoctrination was surface-level only in my case. LOL. I do like writing that Catholic schoolgirl thing in tho.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I do like writing that Catholic schoolgirl thing in tho.

Best thing about being an ex-Catholic is riffing on this. Have to stop myself from describing my actual school uniform in stories. Though my high school is now closed (not unrelated to the sex abuse stuff and reparations - not that I was aware of any of that at my school, but the coffers were emptied).

Em

 

[SSDD322]

I’m an ex-Catholic (left as soon as I was an adult) who will smoke a turd in hell one day from all the pre-marital sex and porn, starting with reading Penthouse at 10 years old!

 

[Duleigh]

You just compared the activism to stop child abuse in the churches to "kicking a horse," then switched to "whataboutism" by bringing up abuse in schools.

You may wanna rethink that approach.

The abuse in schools needs to end too, absolutely.

But the Catholic church is no "horse" being needlessly kicked.

The meme is woefully misapplied. Anyone who has a problem with Catholic teaching falls back on that instead of bringing up actual theological discussion of their differences with the Catechism. And no, I am not a Catholic but I have studied the problem in depth. I also studied the issues with child abuse in schools, which is being ignored. I dropped education as a major in college because of issues like that
The difference here is that one institution is working very hard to stop the problem and is getting mercilessly harangued over sins of the past
The other institution is doing little to nothing about it (my education professor simply said "Don't Do it. It's wrong") and people shrug their shoulders

 

[Djmac1031]

The meme is woefully misapplied. Anyone who has a problem with Catholic teaching falls back on that instead of bringing up actual theological discussion of their differences with the Catechism. And no, I am not a Catholic but I have studied the problem in depth. I also studied the issues with child abuse in schools, which is being ignored. I dropped education as a major in college because of issues like that
The difference here is that one institution is working very hard to stop the problem and is getting mercilessly harangued over sins of the past
The other institution is doing little to nothing about it (my education professor simply said "Don't Do it. It's wrong") and people shrug their shoulders

I don't wanna derail the thread, so I'll just say I think we can both agree sexual abuse needs to be addressed and fought in all institutions, period.

And we'll have to agree to disagree on what constitutes "mercilessly harangued over sins of the past."

 

[MrPixel]

I may never have been truly Catholic (never confirmed), but it took nearly five years of therapy to rid myself of the "Catholic guilt" my mother imposed on me. In retrospect I look at male friends and acquaintances who also had difficulties dating and forming relationships, and a common thread was a female parent who took the doctrine seriously.

Another observation is that, in my life experience, women are far more likely to push back on the absurdities as they mature than are men. My best and most creative bed partners have been lapsed Catholics.

 

[Euphony]

Writer's block/procrastination hijacks anything it can to complete its mission.

Catholic guilt seems like a great tool for its use but I'd reframe some to get around it.

Why does a story need your friends/family or even random's approval to exist? There are a billion actions you've taken in your lifetime that have no bearing on others but have enriched you which is really what matters.

Why can't this be just another one?

"Let he who hasn't sinned cast the first stone" has interesting connotations beyond the common message. It's that we ALL sin. We are little sins/boundary testing machines who were created that way and (depending on your religion) offered ways of atoning for our experimentations/testing/learning gone wrong.

If He created everything, he created this system and everything down to the (doubtfully) freaky little thoughts bobbing 'round your noggin.

Seems to me He's laid all sorts of groundwork for your hobby being a-ok.

You should write, even if only to honor the tools He gave you to do so.

 

[jehoram]

Though my high school is now closed (not unrelated to the sex abuse stuff and reparations - not that I was aware of any of that at my school, but the coffers were emptied).

That's been a pretty common trend in the last quarter-century, with parochial schools closing for want of financial support from the congregations. I've heard that Catholic schools have been hit particularly hard since much of their teaching staff were recruited from monks and nuns, who seem to be an endangered species these days.

 

[AchtungNight]

I myself am a graduate of a Catholic high school that was liberal when I attended and forced to become more conservative after my graduation. That old story about Falwell and Flynt hits home for me in many ways. I keep reminding myself and religious people who I like needling away from Hell that the two men were friendly at the end of Falwell’s life.

https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2007-may-20-op-flynt20-story.html

I’m like Kevin Smith or Garth Ennis when it comes to religion in my art. CS Lewis has been a major influence on me too, as has Anne Rice.