Would you?

[PacificBlue]

Tell your lover/partner/*fill in the appropriate word* that they were bad in bed? Would you offer suggestions and work with them on improving or would you just move on?

 

[Aussie Worm]

I wouldn't call my partner bad, but i would offer suggestions that I would like her to try and I would also ask to do some things too, to make it look like im just wanting to try new things.

 

[pabloback]

tell them what you like and enjoy when they get it right tell them how good they are nothing kills passion like being told you are a bad lover or even worse finding out your partner is faking it

 

[PacificBlue]

Ok...here's the thing and why I posted this...I've read in other posts where people have commented on their past lovers, things like:

"he/she was a lazy lover", "he/she just laid there", "he/she couldn't give good oral if their life depended on it", "he/she kisses like a dead fish", "he/she is/was frigid"

you get my drift...

Does anybody ever have a heart to heart with these mates and explain things or work with them or do you just dump them figuring your sexually incompatible? Doesn't good sex take practice?

 

[Juspar Emvan]

PB, I like it when you say 'you're' instead of 'your', can we try that next time?

 

[PacificBlue]

What?

 

[bluntforcemama]

pshaw! Christ, I won't put up with bad sex.

 

[bluntforcemama]

What?

forgive him, he's tipsy and in pain from an accident.

 

[on_the_verge]

Doesn't good sex take practice?

PacificBlue, you may want to read into trantic sexuality and the inner spirit as well as find another who is willing to swell within your lust and desires over Kama Sutra and what it could entail. Communication is paramount and to be one that complains and does not do a single thing to change it is a lazy lever themself.

 

[PacificBlue]

pshaw! Christ, I won't put up with bad sex.

This confuses me. How do people end up really good in bed then? Granted I wouldn't want someone telling me in the heat of the moment, that would hurt and kill the moment. But outiside the bedroom during a nice quiet chat, I'd like to know how to be a better lover if I wasn't measuring up.

Am I alone on this?

 

[Juspar Emvan]

What?

Actually that was an example of just how I'd deal with sex that didn't suit me. Just happens that you said

figuring your sexually incompatible?

And the whole your/you're thing is a bug bear of mine. Hypocritical considering my own spelling/gramatical abilities. SO that fit the example nicely. SOmeone said that about kissing to me once, it's stuck with me.

 

[bluntforcemama]

It's all about tact.

 

[PacificBlue]

Actually that was an example of just how I'd deal with sex that didn't suit me. Just happens that you said
And the whole your/you're thing is a bug bear of mine. Hypocritical considering my own spelling/gramatical abilities. SO that fit the example nicely. SOmeone said that about kissing to me once, it's stuck with me.

Oh gotcha. I try and proofread stuff before I submit it but sometimes I miss something.

 

[on_the_verge]

This confuses me. How do people end up really good in bed then? Granted I wouldn't want someone telling me in the heat of the moment, that would hurt and kill the moment. But outiside the bedroom during a nice quiet chat, I'd like to know how to be a better lover if I wasn't measuring up.

Am I alone on this?

Maybe a lover that does not roll over and fall asleep or leaves the bed before discussing the experience and the pleasures over a long caress and the invitation to enhance what had unfolded. Sex is fun and playful where it can burn and swelter like lava over the earth, but also as invigorating as the pelting of rains during a hot storm. I am sure you have an idea PacificBlue and that is where your heart and consumption of knowledge may lie.

 

[Barb Dwyer]

on the verge? (hello)

Trantic sounds frantic
Perhaps it was misspelled?
Suppposed to be romantic -
it just came out pedantic
To correct you, I now feel compelled!

But a lever that is lazy
Would make me absolutely crazy
I know that you meant lover
I sincerely hate to hover
My logic now sounds a little hazy

 

[on_the_verge]

How do you spell between the hot heat and a bottle of port silly? (hick up)

 

[PacificBlue]

Maybe a lover that does not roll over and fall asleep or leaves the bed before discussing the experience and the pleasures over a long caress and the invitation to enhance what had unfolded. Sex is fun and playful where it can burn and swelter like lava over the earth, but also as invigorating as the pelting of rains during a hot storm. I am sure you have an idea PacificBlue and that is where your heart and consumption of knowledge may lie.

Although you used lots of pretty words, it doesn't answer my question.

 

[on_the_verge]

Turn on AIM Blue and maybe someone can assist?

 

[Zephan]

I think if you care for this woman you need to tell her. To discuss what you feel the problem is. Once you have talked about it things will either get better or they won't. If there is one thing I have learned it is that no matter how hard you try you cannot change people. If she has hang ups about sex or if she feels some of the things you wish to try are dirty, she always will. Better to find out now than spend years with her just to always be disappointed.

 

[PacificBlue]

I think if you care for this woman you need to tell her. To discuss what you feel the problem is. Once you have talked about it things will either get better or they won't. If there is one thing I have learned it is that no matter how hard you try you cannot change people. If she has hang ups about sex or if she feels some of the things you wish to try are dirty, she always will. Better to find out now than spend years with her just to always be disappointed.

What if she told you that she was nervous and asked you to show her how to move, how to touch you, how to please you...would you take the time? Would there be an instance where you wouldn't and you would just move on?

 

[Zephan]

I know if I cared for her I would take the time. I would try my best to show her what pleased me. If she asked you to show her I think that is a VERY good sign. I guess it all comes down to how you really feel about her. Does she make you happy? Is everything else in your relationship going well? You are the only one who can answer those questions.

 

[Never]

Indeed,
and I'd expect the same in return.
Why light a candle,
with a flame that won't burn?

 

[Harbinger]

I would tell

Absolutely, I know this because it has worked so well in the past. I learned this from a past lover who was VERY good at telling me exactly what was required. It made me feel good about being able to to please in a way that was special to that person, and made the whole experience much more passionate. Plus I learned some really good tricks!

 

[PacificBlue]

I know if I cared for her I would take the time. I would try my best to show her what pleased me. If she asked you to show her I think that is a VERY good sign. I guess it all comes down to how you really feel about her. Does she make you happy? Is everything else in your relationship going well? You are the only one who can answer those questions.

Actually, I'm a female. So what your saying is if someone didn't want to take that time...then they really weren't looking for anything but just sex?

 

[ShyGuy68]

This confuses me. How do people end up really good in bed then? Granted I wouldn't want someone telling me in the heat of the moment, that would hurt and kill the moment. But outiside the bedroom during a nice quiet chat, I'd like to know how to be a better lover if I wasn't measuring up.

Am I alone on this?

Not at all. I haven't been with many women, and thus I don't have much "hands on" experience. So the last woman I was with, I did ask afterwards (several times actually lol) how I did. I did that because to me it's important that I can please my partner fully, and so far it's even more important to me that she gets a climax than it is that I get one. I just want to learn everything, and really enjoy every second of it when I'm with a woman intimately.