Would you WANT anyone recognize you as a Dom/me or sub....

[Sex & Diamonds]

A spin from the other thread...


I'm curious to know if you would want others to know. Why and why not?

For me personally it's a very private thing.


I am torn because I'd LOVE to meet like minded others but I don't want to have to wear some t-shirt screaming out that I am a submissive. No offence to the one that created the BDSM emblem but that's not for me either. I just plainly don't care for the symbol.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Well really do not care what other people think I am or think I am not.

I am not concerned with OPP (other people's problems and perceptions).

 

[Sex & Diamonds]

I generally try to have that attitude myself but as D/s isn't mainstream I don't want my personal wants and desires to have an effect on my career or my life in that aspect. Which is why I'll stand on the side of caution when talking to people about it.

 

[NemoAlia]

Yeah S&D, I can sympathize. Especially for people who live in fishbowl communities, it can be rough even to poke your nose out as far as a munch. I think that's why so many people turn to the Internet to find a community of like-minded folks.

Of course, it's different if you're looking for a partner. For lots of people the Internet is not the ideal place to meet a mate. But how are we meet a mate in real life who can meet our needs unless we're open about what our needs are?

I think that most of us hope to have a little bit of pre-relationship radar up, so that we can find people who are likely to complement us. We also hope that we're advertising our tendencies at least enough for a complementary person to take an interest. After all, we don't want a complete surprise. We just want pleasant ones.

 

[Sex & Diamonds]

Yeah S&D, I can sympathize. Especially for people who live in fishbowl communities, it can be rough even to poke your nose out as far as a munch. I think that's why so many people turn to the Internet to find a community of like-minded folks.
<snip>

Which is excatly what brought me to Lit in the first place so long ago. Course now I'm just addicted and couldn't leave even if I wanted too.

 

[MissTaken]

I don't think I would want anyone to be able to tell anymore than I would want them to know that I shout when I orgasm.

Somethings are personal and private.

Now, the confusing piece of this discussion for me is that there are times that I wonder if someone is in the lifestyle. If it would enhance a freindship or perhaps introduce me to a new friend by way of their knowing that I am submissive, yes, it wouldn't be a bad thing.

Of course, for me, BDSM relationships start as with any other and if that potential friend doesn't find me interesting without knowing my kinks, then in all likelihood, that friend wouldnt' be a great friend to have.

 

[Ricckk]

Doesn't matter a bit.

 

[James G 5]

Which is excatly what brought me to Lit in the first place so long ago. Course now I'm just addicted and couldn't leave even if I wanted too.

Isn't there a thread for that over on the GB?
Lit-a-holics?

 

[bunny bondage]

well, i do want my friends to know, because it is a big part of who i am, and getting to know me does include getting to know that i'm a submissive. however, as far as strangers are concerned, they can think i'm a moose for all i care.

 

[James G 5]

For me, I live my life pretty out in the open.......public events, clothing or jewelry that might make peopel wonder (not enough to scream it but enough to make people go HMMMM)
'course I'm an active & public pagan too
But I have the advantage of being in a place socially and professionaly where it's not an issue
Were things otherwise.....well, I'd have to move to a place like this, it's not in me to be quiet

I can understand why others might need to be anonymous or want to be unoticed tho

I went in to one of my stores one day & the new cashier looked like someone I'd seen at a play party a couple of weekends prior

I asked her if we knew each other and she said "on no SIR, we've never met"......And I wasn't her boss
She realized she'd said it & went BRIGHT red
She never came back to work about that & I felt AWFUL about it

Would be nice if the workd were different & everyone could be open & accepting about such stuff

Ok, I'm gonna quit before this rant gets longer

 

[James G 5]

well, i do want my friends to know, because it is a big part of who i am, and getting to know me does include getting to know that i'm a submissive. however, as far as strangers are concerned, they can think i'm a moose for all i care.

a MOOSE?
Now that IS kinky
Uhm, are Moose ticklish???

 

[bunny bondage]

i've never been foolish enough to attempt research in that field....

tickling a moose seems like a bad idea!

 

[Sex & Diamonds]

I don't think I would want anyone to be able to tell anymore than I would want them to know that I shout when I orgasm.

Somethings are personal and private.

Now, the confusing piece of this discussion for me is that there are times that I wonder if someone is in the lifestyle. If it would enhance a freindship or perhaps introduce me to a new friend by way of their knowing that I am submissive, yes, it wouldn't be a bad thing.

Of course, for me, BDSM relationships start as with any other and if that potential friend doesn't find me interesting without knowing my kinks, then in all likelihood, that friend wouldnt' be a great friend to have.

Excatly.

 

[Sex & Diamonds]

Isn't there a thread for that over on the GB?
Lit-a-holics?

Gee.....thanks James


If there were free drinks I'd consider it.

 

[James G 5]

Gee.....thanks James


If there were free drinks I'd consider it.

Just remember the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic

 

[Shadowsdream]

My being a Domme is pretty much an open book. All of My family members, friends and associates are aware. I prefer it this way as it is how I live My life.
If I were only interested in bedroom Domination or attending occassional weekend play parties I may feel differently.
I do not flaunt My Domliness but I do not side step it publically either.
Of course there will always be circumstances that dictate privacy and I have no difficulty understanding, accepting and enjoying those moments of anonymity(sp?) either.

 

[Sex & Diamonds]

Just remember the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic

*hic*

huh?

 

[Cirrus]

I don't make it a point to tell people, but I don't make it a point to hide it either. If it comes up in conversation, or if they find out or guess, then so what? It's just a part of me, like my hair color, my music tastes, or the way I dress.

 

[lektra]

Most of my close girlfriends know, and my really close friends, that I have submissive tendancies but I usually don't share details.

Otherwise I wouldn't want people to identify me in public, however, I'm not a huge fan of people in general (present company exempted of course ) and tend to keep my circle of friends pretty tight.

 

[Richard49]

A spin from the other thread...


I'm curious to know if you would want others to know. Why and why not?

Yes I would like others to know
I like ot be around like minded people

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

I live two very distinct lives. I do not socialize with people from work. Period. Far too complicated. Handily, I work over an hour away from where I live *grin*. My family of origin doesn't know either, fortunately, they live out of state *grin*.

The people that I do socialize with are all involved in alternative sexual lifestyles of one sort or another. I don't have submissive branded on my forehead, but some people know that I am. I, like Richard, enjoy like-minded people.

 

[Richard49]

I, like Richard, enjoy like-minded people.

We have something in common

 

[Tranquility]

" I don't have submissive branded on my forehead, but some people know that I am." Anelize
Nope its on her cute inner thigh totally kidding...I can speak for my family they don't either and she sees them all the time in fact they think she is pretty damn stern... Love Ya Baby had to put my 2 cents in.

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

Stern ROFL. Your 14 year old thinks I'm stern. But he's 14!!

*snickering madly* gotta keep up appearances

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

Oh HELL. Then there are your lemon-headed SISTERS <sigh>