Would you marry the love of your life....

[Daddy2mylilgirl]

even if they weren't into BDSM whatsoever?

Just wondering if your significant other, the love of your life, the person you potentially want to spend the rest of your life with was NOT into BDSM, D/s, bondage and all that would you still want to marry and/or spend the rest of your life with them?

 

[sister76]

even if they weren't into BDSM whatsoever?

Just wondering if your significant other, the love of your life, the person you potentially want to spend the rest of your life with was NOT into BDSM, D/s, bondage and all that would you still want to marry and/or spend the rest of your life with them?

I think it could work for some people. It might not be a problem, but it depends on how strong your feelings are for a BDSM-type relationship. For me, I know now (after being married to someone who is not sexually compatible to me at all) that I could never really feel that someone was the love of my life if they weren't into D/s or had the potential to be. My feelings for that certain type of relationship that I've always desired are so strong that the person I love would have to feel the same way for me to even consider becoming involved with them. I think there is a crucial degree of intimacy that would be missing between two people who do not share the same relationship views.

I never, ever wanted to get divorced, but I am now and it is probably essentially because he knew he couldn't fulfill my needs. I feel very lucky now to not have to stay in a marriage where some of my needs would never be fulfilled, but it would have been way better to have been in a relationship where both people have BDSM/sexual interests in common. The thing is, I didn't have a clue that the D/s community existed when I was dating or got married, but I'm glad I know about it now and would never date anyone again who was not into it or had the potential to be into it because I know I would never be fully happy otherwise.

 

[CutieMouse]

Nope. BTDT, although he wasn't the love of my life (at 20 I thought he was). I've also seen dozens upon dozens of stories from people who show up at Literotica, unhappy with their married sex lives, and feel reduced to cheating or cyber affairs because their spouse "wouldn't understand/isn't interested", etc.

BDSM is intimacy for me, and I can't imagine spending a signifigant amount of my life with someone I couldn't be deeply intimate with.

 

[northwoods_sub]

I am on my 3rd marriage. Yes 3rd. My first marriage was to a man who is an alcoholic control freak. If our relationship would have been in the context of BDSM it may have had a chance instead he was just mean, more psychologically then physically (though that was there to *lucky me* ) but mean.
My second marriage I tried to introduce BDSM (without using that term, I didn't even know there was a term for what I wanted lol) into it and he kind of freaked out afraid that he would lose control of his emotions in a scene and actually harm me. Instead he decided I was his property and he would use me sexually anytime he wanted with or without my consent. That marriage didn't last too long.
My third marriage, which I am currently in, does have BDSM in it. He is my Dom. It has taken us 7 years to get to BDSM but I cannot imagine being without it. It is who I am and what I need to have a fulfilling sex life. Prior to me finally asking for what I really needed from Him we would have sex maybe 4 times a month. It was sad, really, really sad.
If he asked me to give up my submissive masochistic part of me I would try to make it work. I am pretty sure that it wouldn't succeed. I need someone to dominate me and if He didn't do it I would have to find someone else who could fill that need for me. I pray everyday that He will continue to want to dominate me, because I love Him, but I don't want to ever go back to being half of who I am.
It has taken me three marriages to be able to find what I need to make me be the best wife and partner I can be, if you are not fulfilled in your marriage, and I mean in all ways, you will find it somewhere else. Divorces are just way to easy to come by these days for anyone to force themselves to remain somwhere that they don't whole-heartedly want to be.

 

[ShyVixen]

I was engaged to someone who couldn't fulfill my needs, in fact wouldn't even try in any serious manner. In the end, we didn't get married. So no, I couldn't marry someone who couldn't give me what I needed.

 

[N_B]

Indeed I would marry the love of my life, and she introduced me to the whole bdsm thing.... If, that is, I could get my hands on a Delorien with a flux capacitor and make sure the 2001 me did not screw it up...

And extra points to anyone who caught the Back To The Future reference.

 

[catalina_francisco]

No, simply because they couldn't be the love of my life if they didn't have a BDSM bone in their body. There are many other qualities which can distract me, and maybe even fool me into thinking for awhile I could make it work (I am the sort who doesn't give up easily), so when I finally decided this was what had been missing to keep me in relationships, I went out of my way to increase my odds while decreasing the possibility of over complicating things by only looking to men who could at least show an interest in D/s, ideally a strong interest.

Catalina

 

[WriterDom]

By all means, marry the bitch. You might win a prize for being the one millionth poster to start a "How do I change my spouse thread?"

 

[Blushing Bottom]

I have to agree with what Cat said. There would be no love in the true sense with one who was not only into BDSM but naturally dominant as well. I have been around the block a couple of times but only married once. While on these trips though I have learned that most marry for all the wrong reasons. So my advice to you or anyone who is considering marriage is to marry someone you not only feel love for but someone you love to talk to more than anything else you do with this individual. For one day that will be all you have left either in common or due to physical limitations. Unless of course today's modern disposable marriage is OK with you that is.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

It kind of begs the question - why did you get involved with this person knowing they had no interest in BDSM? D/s for me is almost a specific sexual orientation. Why does everybody think they can have their cake and eat it? Fancy someone, fall in love and then decide they want their partner to take on a whole new role and set of responsibilities that they have thus far shown absolutely no desire for? It just seems so selfish to me.

Back when I was too inexperienced to know what I wanted and needed, I've been in nilla relationships and felt that the D/s I craved was missing. Now I have experienced the loving dominance and companionship of my Master I would no more date a man with no interest in BDSM than I would a gay man. There is no point for me because we would not want the same kind of intimacy or fundamental relationship dynamic.

This person may be the love of your life now but passion fades and when it does, where will that leave you? In 10, 20 or 30 years? To spend that long with someone you're incompatible with is a sacrifice that will make your love bitter and resentful in time. Why do it?

 

[Evil_Geoff]

No, simply because they couldn't be the love of my life if they didn't have a BDSM bone in their body...
Catalina

DING-DING-DING!

What she said, in spades!

 

[Softouch911]

even if they weren't into BDSM whatsoever?

Just wondering if your significant other, the love of your life, the person you potentially want to spend the rest of your life with was NOT into BDSM, D/s, bondage and all that would you still want to marry and/or spend the rest of your life with them?

It did, a long time ago.

It was an especially ill-advised move for us both.

ST

 

[somberReality]

Nope. BTDT, although he wasn't the love of my life (at 20 I thought he was). I've also seen dozens upon dozens of stories from people who show up at Literotica, unhappy with their married sex lives, and feel reduced to cheating or cyber affairs because their spouse "wouldn't understand/isn't interested", etc.

BDSM is intimacy for me, and I can't imagine spending a signifigant amount of my life with someone I couldn't be deeply intimate with.

I have to agree with this one. Been there, done that, didn't work.

 

[somberReality]

By all means, marry the bitch. You might win a prize for being the one millionth poster to start a "How do I change my spouse thread?"

Damn!! And that got me so hot *RAWR*

Command meh babeh!!!

 

[ecstaticsub]

even if they weren't into BDSM whatsoever?

Just wondering if your significant other, the love of your life, the person you potentially want to spend the rest of your life with was NOT into BDSM, D/s, bondage and all that would you still want to marry and/or spend the rest of your life with them?

I did marry the love of my life right after college and he is not at all into BDSM. But I fell in love and married him before I really knew that I was into BDSM. I knew he was an open, honest man who enjoyed sex and was adventuous. We have a beautiful, erotic sexually satisfying slightly kinky-tinged sex life.

He still isn't into BDSM but through the years (25 yrs together) we are still soulmates. We have indulged each other in each others fantasies and desires. It is just not in him to dominate me (and certainly not to inflict pain on me) so I went elsewhere with his full support. I am in love with my Dom also and I want to spend the rest of my life as his submissive along with being my husband's wife.

So far so good...everyone's happy.

 

[SubKekiLee]

even if they weren't into BDSM whatsoever?

Just wondering if your significant other, the love of your life, the person you potentially want to spend the rest of your life with was NOT into BDSM, D/s, bondage and all that would you still want to marry and/or spend the rest of your life with them?

Well for me when I was single I didnt know of places like alt.com and Collarme.com so I married a guy who wasnt into the same things sexually but he seemed openminded and he had his OWN kinks so I thought I could introduce him to my side of life slowly and work up to it, but no avail , when we were split up by a real estate transaction is when my Dom came into my life and showed me what I had been missing , My dom and I have been together now going on 4 months and I dont ever want it to end nor does he even when I move we will stay together I am pretty sure.... BUT you see I love my husband in many different levels and I love my Dom is a totally different way. in a explict trust and honesty I havent ever given to anyone.. Now do I belive I will be with my husband forever? I sure hope so. as my Dom is married to a nilla gal as well.. so who knows.. Maybe someday he will show he loves me the same and we will end up together IMO

 

[Daddyslilpet]

When my husband and I married 19 years ago I did marry the love of my life. Lucky for me that when I discovered those kinky urges had a name, He was on board to explore right along with me.

 

[Daddy2mylilgirl]

Oh I'm not getting married or even thinking about it. I'm single.

I was just wondering how many people had "into BDSM" on their checklist for someone to be marriage material.

Plus CutieMouse put it best:

I've also seen dozens upon dozens of stories from people who show up at Literotica, unhappy with their married sex lives, and feel reduced to cheating or cyber affairs because their spouse "wouldn't understand/isn't interested", etc.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Oh I'm not getting married or even thinking about it. I'm single.

I was just wondering how many people had "into BDSM" on their checklist for someone to be marriage material.

Plus CutieMouse put it best:

LOL, I did, and that is why I only went through personals which were aimed at the kink population.

Catalina

 

[Netzach]

Moot point. He is. A bottom too, thank God.

 

[subkitty72]

even if they weren't into BDSM whatsoever?

Just wondering if your significant other, the love of your life, the person you potentially want to spend the rest of your life with was NOT into BDSM, D/s, bondage and all that would you still want to marry and/or spend the rest of your life with them?

Hello!

Never again. I married the anti-Dom ‘cause I was scared of my own masochistic feelings and of having them exploited. But romantic love quickly transformed into familial love. The relationship felt incestuous (and not in the good way) and all intimacy ceased.

We were like brother / sister teenagers living alone unsupervised. Further, he began to depend on me in ways that were not healthy nor wanted.

If I marry again (big if, as marriage isn’t my thing either), it’ll be with someone whom I respect, admire, serve and love. Period. And He will have to feel the same way about me.

 

[BiBunny]

All the more a compelling reason not to get married in your teens/twenties. You never know what kinds of interests may pop up.

To answer the question, no, I would not. And the love of my life is into BDSM, so that's not an issue.

 

[Northwoods_Dom]

even if they weren't into BDSM whatsoever?

Just wondering if your significant other, the love of your life, the person you potentially want to spend the rest of your life with was NOT into BDSM, D/s, bondage and all that would you still want to marry and/or spend the rest of your life with them?

At this stage of the game, I truly could not imagine life without. I married the love of my life, life was good. Since exploring the BDSM lifestyle, life and love are better than I personally could ever imagine.
Soooo....to answer the question, If I gotta be vanilla...she better be rich!!!LOL J/K

 

[lil_slave_rose]

even if they weren't into BDSM whatsoever?

Just wondering if your significant other, the love of your life, the person you potentially want to spend the rest of your life with was NOT into BDSM, D/s, bondage and all that would you still want to marry and/or spend the rest of your life with them?

this is a good question and one that my Daddy had to think about not very long ago when i decided i wasn't sure i had a place in this lifestyle anymore. i explained to Him, through tears, that i just didn't think i was the submissive that we both thought i was at one time and that i didn't think the lifestyle was for me at all, and if He wanted to break it off with me so that He could find Himself a submissive, i would understand. He told me that the fact that i am not submissive (or didn't think i was, i was going through some stuff that just made me question myself at the time) doesn't change who He fell in love with. that we could leave the D/s world behind and He would still love me as much then as He did when we had the D/s dynamic.

though i do question if we took D/s completely out of our life if He would really be able to stay in the relationship or if a part of Him would always long for a submissive partner.....*shrugs* i think i may be getting off topic. my answer to your question is, yes, i would still marry them if they truly were the 'love of my life', soul mate..you get the idea....

 

[FurryFury]

even if they weren't into BDSM whatsoever?

Just wondering if your significant other, the love of your life, the person you potentially want to spend the rest of your life with was NOT into BDSM, D/s, bondage and all that would you still want to marry and/or spend the rest of your life with them?

Knowing me, I probably would but I hope not, because "the love of my life" should fit me better than that in the "best of all possible worlds," yanno?