Would you cheat???

[SwingerWifeAnn]

I had my first take of cheating on my hubby recently (thread) and it was a new kind of thrill. I'm beginning to understand that this is a kind of fetish for some people, including now myself. Just the idea of cheating now gets me wet. I know some people will disagree with doing it, but I am fully willing to accept the consequences when I am caught, and its the thought of getting caught that even turns me on.

Would you cheat on your partner? Does the idea turn you on?

 

[SwingerWifeAnn]

Lol I meant to make this a poll duh.

 

[Stimulate(M)e]

I love the thought of cheating....I find the secret soooo enticing.

Right now I satisfy my desires with the occassional phone fun - perhaps I'll take it to the next level some day. Any thoughts?

 

[Guttergoddess]

Been there...done that....here's the big question, and think long and hard on it (not judging, just guiding)

While being caught is a turn on for you, how will your husband react?
Do you care about how hurt he may be?
Can you live with the ramifications that he will NEVER trust you again?
Do you realize that once he discovers your cheating, something as simple as truly going to the store for a quart of milk may develop into a fight, as he sees it as a chance for you to cheat?

 

[Calvin]

I had my first take of cheating on my hubby recently (thread) and it was a new kind of thrill. I'm beginning to understand that this is a kind of fetish for some people, including now myself. Just the idea of cheating now gets me wet. I know some people will disagree with doing it, but I am fully willing to accept the consequences when I am caught, and its the thought of getting caught that even turns me on.

Would you cheat on your partner? Does the idea turn you on?

Nope & nope.

Because the reality of it is that you are possibly hurting someone else (your partner). It is bad enough in this world that people hurt unintentionaly, but when you know that there is a possibility you will hurt someone and you go ahead anyway, then that is in my eyes not a good thing to do. It of course is also a selfish act. For me, the way to deal with it is to talk to my partner about my desires and if she is willing, to then go forward. Of course, she is fully free to act on her desires (if she has them) as well. There must be equality. But if she is not comfortable with the idea, then I would go no further. The desires would be put away. Guttergoddess has mentioned trust... and that is what it really is all about.... in any relationship.

And as with guttergoddess.... I am not judging.... even though if you asked me I would not say I approve of what you are doing.... I am simply responding to your questions with my perspective.....

 

[pa-guy]

absolutely not.

Guttergoddess nailed it. I'm not married nor have I ever cheated on a gf, the very thought of doing so makes me sick. I could never betray or hurt someone I cared about like that. But then again, I believe the key to any relationship with love is to put the other person first. You aren't doing that if you cheat.

I don't try to force my views on people and I don't pry when other people are cheating, but you did ask for opinions

 

[Calvin]

I love the thought of cheating....I find the secret soooo enticing.

Right now I satisfy my desires with the occassional phone fun - perhaps I'll take it to the next level some day. Any thoughts?

Yes... think about how your thoughts might make your partner feel...

 

[angelsin]

I will admit that all the opinions posted make a very good point. And there are many reasons that will drive a person to cheat, none make it “right” to cheat, some reasons may even be considered understandable but still doesn’t make it right. But as I stated in your other thread, sometimes the “cheater” feels their life so void of excitement that, like the thrill seeker who is willing to risk their life for that rush, so is the cheater willing to risk it all including hurting someone for that excitement. If you are fully aware of the consequences, then I wish you luck and hope you find that excitement you seem to be lacking in your life, in this or any other manor you chose to try.

My answer to the original question would be…………yes.

 

[RoyalPalm]

ann, clear your pm box

 

[Calvin]

I will admit that all the opinions posted make a very good point. And there are many reasons that will drive a person to cheat, none make it “right” to cheat, some reasons may even be considered understandable but still doesn’t make it right. But as I stated in your other thread, sometimes the “cheater” feels their life so void of excitement that, like the thrill seeker who is willing to risk their life for that rush, so is the cheater willing to risk it all including hurting someone for that excitement. If you are fully aware of the consequences, then I wish you luck and hope you find that excitement you seem to be lacking in your life, in this or any other manor you chose to try.

My answer to the original question would be…………yes.

I can relate... but that is why I seek the type of excitement I do (see my AV) when I feel like my life is lacking thrills....
But I can also say, from my past relationships, that when I look into my partner's eyes, and know that I can trust her completely, that is the ultimate thrill for me.... something I feel way down in my core.....

Deception destroy's everything....

 

[freepass4sex]

To each their own, and not trying to judge anybody else's views, but I've been there and done that. First marriage was going stale and I was young and horny. Even talked to a friend before doing it, who warned me how it felt after. The sex was fantastic, but the guilt was even more intense. Vowed I would never do anything to make me feel that way again. Now married again and have told new spouse of past and how I feel about it. We've agreed that if either of us want someone else, we will do it together or not at all. Even though I've been offered and even thought about it, have never cheated again. Can't stand the thought of feeling that way again...

 

[Calvin]

To each their own, and not trying to judge anybody else's views, but I've been there and done that. First marriage was going stale and I was young and horny. Even talked to a friend before doing it, who warned me how it felt after. The sex was fantastic, but the guilt was even more intense. Vowed I would never do anything to make me feel that way again. Now married again and have told new spouse of past and how I feel about it. We've agreed that if either of us want someone else, we will do it together or not at all. Even though I've been offered and even thought about it, have never cheated again. Can't stand the thought of feeling that way again...

exactly... my hat's off to you for having the strength and focus....

 

[galendms]

Cheating

Answer to the original question would you cheat? Yes and to the inevitable "Have you?"...yes. Is the idea of getting caught exciting? No...it's terrifying. But, the rewards of enjoying new, unique erotic physical sensations that aren't available, and never will be available, at home more than makes up for it!

 

[ickle_stace]

never and no the doesn't turn me on

i don't see the point of being with someone if they aren't enough for you that you have to cheat on them

 

[S0ldierx]

i can't see the point in cheating! what would the point of being with someone if you are just going to cheat, people who want to cheat or cant be faithful shouldn't be in a relationship but thats just my opinion on things

 

[daniel7402]

i can't see the point in cheating! what would the point of being with someone if you are just going to cheat, people who want to cheat or cant be faithful shouldn't be in a relationship but thats just my opinion on things

I think it's ironic that there are all these responses from people condemning cheating, or at least advising against it, when I'm pretty sure that there are quite a few people on this forum that have cheated, are cheating, or would cheat if they got the chance. And even for those who haven't or wouldn't cheat per se, there are quite a few on here whose spouses/boyfriend/girlfriends wouldn't approve of them being on this forum in the first place.

Frankly, I don't see a problem with someone being aroused by the idea of cheating, even if they never actually wanted to cheat. Who isn't excited by the thought of being with someone new, someone intriguing, someone mysterious? I'll be completely honest and say that I am.

And not to bog this thread down or anything by being too serious, but considering the number of men and women who cheat on their spouses/boyfriends/girlfriends at some point...does that say anything about how are society views monogamous relationship? Are we doing something wrong?

Don't really have any answer to those questions. I'm just speculating aloud...

 

[pa-guy]

Frankly, I don't see a problem with someone being aroused by the idea of cheating, even if they never actually wanted to cheat. Who isn't excited by the thought of being with someone new, someone intriguing, someone mysterious? I'll be completely honest and say that I am.

And not to bog this thread down or anything by being too serious, but considering the number of men and women who cheat on their spouses/boyfriends/girlfriends at some point...does that say anything about how are society views monogamous relationship? Are we doing something wrong?

The difference between being aroused by the notion of cheating and being aroused at the notion of someone new, to me at least, is that I want my partner involved with the new person too. One could say it's a trivial difference or that I'm picking hairs but I would strongly disagree.

I think it's less a problem of society so much as a problem in the relationships themselves.

Once again there is a huge difference between an open relationship, a relationship that invites others to join in, and a relationship where one or both are cheating behind the backs of others.

Not to mention if you're married and if you took the traditional vows then you took an oath to be faithful. What good is your word if you can so easily break it on such an important matter?

 

[Mrs.P]

Cheating is not all black and white. Every situation is completely different. Some people stay together for different reasons and one's needs are not being met...no matter how much they've put into the relationship. A sexless marriage is just really, really sad, IMO. Then again, I'm about to start weaving my handbasket to hell...

 

[VancouverGuy2]

I hear you Mrs P

Although my wife is very sexy and a great lover, I do think about all that I am missing, and the fact that I'm not getting any younger makes me wonder..............

 

[sinnamongyrl]

Cheating is not all black and white. Every situation is completely different. Some people stay together for different reasons and one's needs are not being met...no matter how much they've put into the relationship. A sexless marriage is just really, really sad, IMO. Then again, I'm about to start weaving my handbasket to hell...

i agree with you 100 %,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

[ken0000001]

Agree with Danny

I couldn't agree more with Dan. What are we all doing here anyway? Is it the act or the thought of the act that is hurtful to our spouses? We are in this site because we all think of sex. Do all the people above (sans Dan) feel they are cheating when they look at a picture of another and suddenly develop an urge to fuck them? So, if it is not the thought, then it must be the act itself. In that situation, everyone will feel differently, as you've all said. I have been married for 30 years. My wife is not really interested in sex despite my constant requests. I have never had what I would call an affair, but have had two one-time relationships in those thirty years.

Now, here is the truth. I loved it, but in neither case, could I actually go through with it when I was with the woman. I was not embarrassed nor frustrated. I can't say the same for the women. I clearly felt so guilty I could not maintain an erection. But I still loved the experiences and would do it again. But this time, I'll take Viagra.

Make no judgments. It's just another opinion.

 

[VancouverGuy2]

and it's not that I haven't tried to invite her along

I love my wife very much, but we have different views about sex. For years I tried to get her interested in bringing another man, woman, or couple into bed, but there is no way that is going to happen. Same with anything out of the ordinary, so the thought is there, that time is passing and.................

 

[daniel7402]

Not to mention if you're married and if you took the traditional vows then you took an oath to be faithful. What good is your word if you can so easily break it on such an important matter?

Well let's be honest here. If people took that oath seriously, they would never get divorced. There's nothing in the marital about death 'till you part...unless you decide to call it quits.

And what of people who are honest in every way but their affair? After all, not everyone who has an affair is a compulsive liar about everything.

I just think there's a huge disconnect between the number of people who condemn cheating and our culture's general condemnation of it, and the large number of people who actually cheat. Either we are a seriously dishonest people, or there's a lot more hypocrisy about this subject then it would seem based just on what we say about it.

 

[Calvin]

I think it's ironic that there are all these responses from people condemning cheating, or at least advising against it, when I'm pretty sure that there are quite a few people on this forum that have cheated, are cheating, or would cheat if they got the chance. And even for those who haven't or wouldn't cheat per se, there are quite a few on here whose spouses/boyfriend/girlfriends wouldn't approve of them being on this forum in the first place.

Frankly, I don't see a problem with someone being aroused by the idea of cheating, even if they never actually wanted to cheat. Who isn't excited by the thought of being with someone new, someone intriguing, someone mysterious? I'll be completely honest and say that I am.

And not to bog this thread down or anything by being too serious, but considering the number of men and women who cheat on their spouses/boyfriends/girlfriends at some point...does that say anything about how are society views monogamous relationship? Are we doing something wrong?

Don't really have any answer to those questions. I'm just speculating aloud...

I know you were not asking for answers, but thought I would throw out some thoughts on your comments....
It is not the idea of cheating that is exciting... it is the idea of that "someone new, someone intriguing, someone mysterious"... and this is perfectly normal for both males and females to feel.... where it becomes wrong (for me), is where someone will either lie or hide the truth to accomplish their selfish goal.... where a person will deceive another....

And you are probably right, there are most likely many here that have cheated or would cheat... or where their mates would not approve of them perusing the Lit forums... but we must each examine our own motivations and decide for ourselves if we are being good people... viewed from a basic human level...

As for society.... yes... there is a problem... but as our society is made up of people , in my humble view, it is people's issues with being honest and truthful with the partners they have committed to.... and opening lines of communication that have become closed... not to mention embracing deception and untruths that compromise each cheating persons integrity.....

The difference between being aroused by the notion of cheating and being aroused at the notion of someone new, to me at least, is that I want my partner involved with the new person too. One could say it's a trivial difference or that I'm picking hairs but I would strongly disagree.

I think it's less a problem of society so much as a problem in the relationships themselves.

Once again there is a huge difference between an open relationship, a relationship that invites others to join in, and a relationship where one or both are cheating behind the backs of others.

Not to mention if you're married and if you took the traditional vows then you took an oath to be faithful. What good is your word if you can so easily break it on such an important matter?

pa-guy.... what you have said you have put absolutely perfect in my eye's.
I could not/would not change a word. If a person's word is no good... no matter what it is given for.... what good is that person?
They can never be trusted.... and if you cannot trust then we might as well all get our guns out and keep our backs to the wall..... trusting no one....

If two people consent to have an open relationship.... it is because they have developed and participated in communication with each other... and have shown respect and love for one another by honoring the preferences of their partner... if both partners consent to a open relationship, then trust is never violated and there is no deception... honesty and truth prevail.... which something we could use a whole lot more of in this world of ours....

just my perspectives.... drawn from journeys down many roads....

 

[pa-guy]

Cheating is not all black and white. Every situation is completely different. Some people stay together for different reasons and one's needs are not being met...no matter how much they've put into the relationship. A sexless marriage is just really, really sad, IMO. Then again, I'm about to start weaving my handbasket to hell...

The problem with this I mentioned about earlier. Clearly there is an underlying problem in the relationship. A sexless marriage is a problem, humans are sexual beings. I'm willing to bet that most cheatings occur because of underlying problems. Wouldn't it be better to workout those problems or end it rather then create more potential harm by the deception?

You are right it's not black and white. Cheating is a problem but it's also usually a symptom of an even bigger problem. And every cheating is a different kind. I would hope we can all agree that there certainly is a difference between that person who cheats and is sincere in their remorse and desire to never do so again and the person that seeks out opportunities without caring if it hurts thier partner whenever able. To exclaim or profess that all cheating is identical is the same as saying (forgive the degree of the comparison) that all murders are the same. Clearly someone who is kills in a fit of rage is different then someone who is a serial killer. But ultimately it's still murder.

But ultimately no matter how you slice it, cheating remains a lie. You can try to justify it anyway you want. I personally believe a lie is almost always a negative thing, something we should try to avoid as much as possible. This isn't a "how do I look in this dress" lie, it's a major and potentially life altering lie. And if that's what you want in life, hey more power to you. I'm certainly not here to judge anyone, I have no stones to throw. But I think we do ourselves a diservice when we justify actions we know to be hurtful to others.

Oh and to clarify, there is a difference between a fantasy about cheating and cheating. Fantasies are not real and there is certainly nothing wrong with them (I say this without going to deep into the realm of obsessing about your fantasies). Their simply your imagination, and imagination is a positive thing. Roleplay is often a great way to act out fantasies like these.

I'd suggest trying to talk to your partner about it. Have you both dress differently, pre-arrange to "meet" at a bar you don't normally go to, use fake names with each other, . Buy her/him a drink, go to a motel and have wild sex and leave seperately.

pa-guy.... what you have said you have put absolutely perfect in my eye's.
I could not/would not change a word.

Thanks Calvin