Would you be in a relationship with a submissive that has mental illnesses

[Iamme5]

I'm functional but I've got major depressive disorder, ADHD and very mild ASD

 

[ARoseSoSweet]

I'm functional but I've got major depressive disorder, ADHD and very mild ASD

My first thought is, is it under control or something you have a handle on? If not, I would suggest that you may want to get it under control before engaging in any type of relationship, D/s or other (not saying this to be mean, but it can be difficult to have a relationship with someone else when you are working on big issues yourself)

Like anything with a D/s relationship, a potential Dom needs to know so he knows how to work with you and what may be triggers or issues. Both my Dom and I have some mental issues but we both are on medications and have them under control. But like anyone else, sometimes we still have the odd issue. We are only human.

Hope that makes sense

 

[desertslave]

I have ADD, Master was forewarned before we got serious. In the last several years I've developed depression. Master has been kind and supportive.

 

[Malich]

Yes... but.

I've had subs before who had mental health conditions. Some who admitted it, some who did not. My rule has always been I'll stand by someone through thick and thin.... as long as they are working to keep their conditions under control as best they can.

While it may sound harsh, I've been in a situation before with a sub who had health issues and not only would not admit it in the face of overwhelming evidence but when it was finally diagnosed refused to engage with the treatment. This causes no end of stress in a relationship and in the end it will cause it to fail.

Flip side, the same rules apply to a dominant type if they have issues, it's not a sub only issue.

Dominants with parters with mental health issues need to get better at reading the signs during play because it is possible for a sub to be too afraid to safe word for fear of disappointing. I've also had subs who used BDSM as a way of self punishment for things they thought they had done wrong. Takes all the fun out of a session when they say they only act masochistic to get punished.

For subs obviously watch out for anger issues. D/s and uncontrolled anger do not mix well. As a dom with Depression / anxiety issues myself my main problems are with not feeling good enough for a sub and with needing a lot of encouragement to push harder for fear of upsetting my partner by being too rough / demanding. You may find you need to convince them you're not as delicate as they think you are.

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

We are members of Lit.............. Therefore we have mental problems. Why else are we here?

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[lydia_kitty]

For me it depends on the specific illness and how under control it is. I can only speak as a submissive, but as others said a Dom with anger issues would be a red flag for me!

 

[DaddyAsh]

I have, had a Kitten, with PTSD and The resultant complications, we end it, when the relationship was doing more harm than good. It still hurts though to hear that we were just figments of her imagination.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

We are members of Lit.............. Therefore we have mental problems. Why else are we here?

I love this.

 

[Blue]

For me it would massively depend on the illness and the overall severity, associated problems and probable future development.

There's so much variation in just the appearance of those individual disorders that I think it's actually a redundant question to ask about something so broad because that could all manifest as (subjectively annoying) lethargy or mild (and adorable) eccentricity or unbearable narcissism or do-as-I-say-or-I'm-going-to-kill-you-with-a-tray-and-watch-the-blood-flow-across-the-canteen-floor hair trigger tempers or just plain inability to express or form emotional connections.

I would say that as long as you're not sticking to your partner like a limpet, pulling guns on them twice a day or proclaiming that aliens have impregnated your eyes then even if it doesn't work out it's unlikely to go down like the Hindenburg. And any empathic person on Earth would give you space when you need it and help with whatever they can.

 

[oOMinxOo]

This has been an interested read. Thank you to those who have contributed.

 

[DaddyAsh]

We who Dom, also feel...

 

[Iamme5]

My first thought is, is it under control or something you have a handle on? If not, I would suggest that you may want to get it under control before engaging in any type of relationship, D/s or other (not saying this to be mean, but it can be difficult to have a relationship with someone else when you are working on big issues yourself)

Like anything with a D/s relationship, a potential Dom needs to know so he knows how to work with you and what may be triggers or issues. Both my Dom and I have some mental issues but we both are on medications and have them under control. But like anyone else, sometimes we still have the odd issue. We are only human.

Hope that makes sense

I've got the ASD handled to the point where even some people close to me don't realize I'm on the spectrum.
My ADHD is medicated and under control but my depression is kicking my ass lately

 

[J_R_Ashunwhy]

I've got the ASD handled to the point where even some people close to me don't realize I'm on the spectrum.
My ADHD is medicated and under control but my depression is kicking my ass lately

You're lucky to be in an area that offers a wide variety of events, and festivals. To help with your depression, you might want to look into some of the attractions in the area, and see if there is anything of interest for you and your family/friends to attend. If nothing else, beach season is coming!
Some examples of events coming up are the Watch City Steampunk Festival in Waltham Mass, or the Seafood Festival in Hampton Beach NH.
If you see something you and your family/friends might like to go to, start making some plans, and give yourself something awesome to look forward to.

 

[malefica]

As an owned submissive with mild anxiety, yes, I have had multiple dynamics/relationships successfully ranging from three years to my current one, which is a year and counting.

 

[Ahlam]

I like openness and self awareness. I'd prefer to be in a relationship with someone who openly acknowledges their psychoses rather than having to guess or be surprised by it later. I want to like someone the way that they are, not despite x,y, z.

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

I love this.

We are members of Lit.............. Therefore we have mental problems. Why else are we here?


I only wrote it because I've been doing a lot of reading here and feel it's true!

Our adopted son had or has ADHD. The best thing we did for him was throw away those drugs the doctors prescribed.
He also dated a girl with several personalities. What a couple they were. She finally ran off to be a hooker.

 

[Blue]

He also dated a girl with several personalities. What a couple they were. She finally ran off to be a hooker.

And that's how fairy tales work these days.
Jack and Jill go up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Hansel and Gretel left a trail of junked sweet wrappers through the woods and Romeo defends Juliet's honour by throwing insults at twitter trolls.

 

[DaddyAsh]

We are members of Lit.............. Therefore we have mental problems. Why else are we here?


I only wrote it because I've been doing a lot of reading here and feel it's true!

Our adopted son had or has ADHD. The best thing we did for him was throw away those drugs the doctors prescribed.
He also dated a girl with several personalities. What a couple they were. She finally ran off to be a hooker.

It is turning out my ex Kitten is swinging to the MPD spectrum, to the point where mutual friends are think her Domme is in her head.

 

[DaddyAsh]

And that's how fairy tales work these days.
Jack and Jill go up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Hansel and Gretel left a trail of junked sweet wrappers through the woods and Romeo defends Juliet's honour by throwing insults at twitter trolls.

Is this not truth, though I prefer to DDoS the hell out of the real nasty ones.

 

[ChoiceSupremusOBEAH]

Yes It is My obligation to Govern

All of My slaves have been Mentally ill

 

[Bramblethorn]

I've got the ASD handled to the point where even some people close to me don't realize I'm on the spectrum.

That can be a mixed blessing. I can do people stuff pretty well when I concentrate on it, but sometimes I think that stops people from understanding just how taxing that is for me. Co-worker praised me recently on a diplomatic email I sent - yeah, but it took me an hour to write a couple of paragraphs and cut into other work that also needs doing.

 

[Oldenburg]

I suffer badly with depression and anxiety just latley it's kicking my ass ( like someone's else said.) I think just as long as your open and say if something is getting to much... Can only say from a sub side of things.. ( Not the I have much experience ) if I'm honest we all suffer on sum level with it every single one of us, it's nothing to be a shamed off, people think it's a sign of weakness, but I honestly think it's a sign of being too strong for too long.. G X

 

[UrbanBohemian]

Yes, I would. I have depression and anxiety myself and suffer from a form of PTSD from a few things that have happened to me over time. One of my best friends is schizophrenic and was not able to get help until she could do it without her parents being involved because they're like a lot of people and very ableist. They didn't want to accept that their daughter had a disability. Plus being disabled physically myself I've seen firsthand MANY times just how prejudiced our society is with regard to disabled people. I could tell you stories all day long. But that's because of ignorance and stupidity. We even have some very ableist Litsters (one comes to mind immediately) so it's very widespread and I definitely would not want to contribute to that.

It might be a bit of a struggle if we're both dealing with shit but then we could also support one another theoretically so I can see both sides of how it would go. Regardless, I would definitely not consider it a deal breaker.

 

[_Necrosomantic_]

It certainly does seem like everyone is possessed of this or that disorder these days, doesn't it? I'm not downplaying a serious issue, rather damning a tendency for people to pass off personality or character flaws as something more inherently serious. I would never presume to speculate on anyone's mental state without first knowing them for quite some time but, in my experience with the people I've gotten close to, this has often been the case.

I've known self centered and petty people to label themselves a sociopath because they think it gives them a pass to be shitty to others ( also tend to ignorantly think it makes them " cool ", like this is fucking junior high ), there's those who claimed to be manic depressive but are actually just apathetic and lazy with their life, moody people who make no attempt at controlling their emotions that instead opted to say they were bipolar, and a WHOLE LOT of full grown adults that still blame their problems
on their parents. Again, I'm not criticizing people with legitimate problems, but when it comes to these cases ( specifically the latter ), once you reach a certain age YOU become responsible for the way you are. Your puppy license runs out and you don't get to blame your more charming personality traits on things from the past ( with the exception of true disorders of course ). You don't have to fix your flaws, but you should own them and be stronger for them.

So, to actually answer the question, yes I would. If they did their best to live with it, I'd consider it a point of pride to be with someone that strong and help in any way I could. Aside from honesty and trust, my love is not conditional, and to everyone in this thread that has said they do have serious issues, I hope you find someone that does just that for you if you haven't already