Would this be sexy or dull? (Interracial story idea)

[DarkLover]

I have an idea for a story about a 3some with some people I know. A little background:

I'm a white male. We have Hispanic friends and neighbors. There's one particular mom and daughter pair that I find extremely hot. The mom is in her late 30's and speaks very little English. The daughter is 18. That's all the "real" stuff.

In the fantasy, the mom hires me so she can teach her daughter about sex before she gets married. Daughter needs to learn how to please her future husband. So mom uses me to demonstrate techniques for daughter, and then daughter practices on me too.

Mom doesn't speak English, so daughter has to translate for me. Mom also can't talk dirty in English, so all her erotic talk is in Spanish.

Would a story sound very hot or very cumbersome with this kind of language barrier?

DarkLover

 

[xssve]

Sounds hot to me - I've read similar stories from Indian writers, though those often seem to involve sisters one married, one younger, but I've read mother-daughter stories too.

 

[only_more_so]

I have an idea for a story about a 3some with some people I know. A little background:

I'm a white male. We have Hispanic friends and neighbors. There's one particular mom and daughter pair that I find extremely hot. The mom is in her late 30's and speaks very little English. The daughter is 18. That's all the "real" stuff.

In the fantasy, the mom hires me so she can teach her daughter about sex before she gets married. Daughter needs to learn how to please her future husband. So mom uses me to demonstrate techniques for daughter, and then daughter practices on me too.

Mom doesn't speak English, so daughter has to translate for me. Mom also can't talk dirty in English, so all her erotic talk is in Spanish.

Would a story sound very hot or very cumbersome with this kind of language barrier?

DarkLover

I think it could get cumbersome if overdone. For instance, if every time the mother said something, the daughter parroted it back in English. My rule of thumb is the action in the story shouldn't be moving much faster or much slower than reading pace. So if it takes you 30 seconds to read, it should take 20-40 seconds to do.

 

[BedtimeStories77]

First of all, do you know any Spanish? Or do you plan to write your narration "as the daughter needs to translate for the mother"? Also, have you considered the mother knowing a very limited amount of English?

I think, over all, this could be a fun story. It's just a matter of how you balance things. Certain actions wouldn't need a translation, etc. Or maybe the mother says something, the male character asks "what did she say?" and the daughter, maybe feeling a little awkward by the very risque thing her mother said to her in Spanish says "maybe I should just show you?"

 

[DarkLover]

First of all, do you know any Spanish? Or do you plan to write your narration "as the daughter needs to translate for the mother"? Also, have you considered the mother knowing a very limited amount of English?

I think, over all, this could be a fun story. It's just a matter of how you balance things. Certain actions wouldn't need a translation, etc. Or maybe the mother says something, the male character asks "what did she say?" and the daughter, maybe feeling a little awkward by the very risque thing her mother said to her in Spanish says "maybe I should just show you?"

Yes, I do know a little Spanish--not enough to talk about sex, but a little. And in real life the mother does know some English, but for anything more than a couple of words she needs one of her kids to translate.

For purposes of the story, I thought the daughter would do most of the talking for the mother (and I like your example above). As for the actual sex, I'm thinking it would be dull to have the mother moaning Spanish phrases. It might sound erotic in real life to hear someone in the heat of passion talking dirty in a foreign language--even if I couldn't understand it--but on paper it might be kind of bland:

"She was moaning and crying out, but I couldn't understand a word she said."

Get it?

And the problem isn't solved by having the daughter translate either:

"My mom says, 'Yes, yes, oh, yes, fuck me please!'"

That's downright silly.

 

[snoopercharmbrights]

Would this be sexy or dull? (Interracial story idea)

That depends entirely on the author, and hardly at all on the plot.

Would a story sound very hot or very cumbersome with this kind of language barrier?

I don't know whether it would help, but in the Kobekistan books I use different print styles for different languages

For example:

"This is a sentence spoken in English," he said.

~ This is a sentence spoken in Arabic, ~ he said.

« This is a sentence spoken in French, » he said.

 

[Remy_James]

I think this story will be successful so long as you can translate your love for hispanic women into your character's lust for them. So long as it's genuine it'll be okay.

As far as teaching her daughter about sex, perhaps you can make things a bit more plausible by having the main character be some sort of therapist that's working to get passed her shyness and morally-hindering convictions to let loose and embrace her inner deviant. Then you can work to seduce her. A bit underhanded, but it does have some interesting possibilities as far as inhibitions.