Would like feedback please

[Sissy Adele Howells]

Hi wrote my first two stories and had them published in the fetish section on the 31/12/05. Have had voting and many views,but only one comment on one of the stories which is a bit dissapointing. Would love some more,bad or good.I can take criticism. The second part of both stories wont be long.The links are in my signature.Thanks very much,
ADELE

 

[redUK]

hi

although the subject matter not my thing, i thought i would read any way, being a new writer myself i know how important feedback is.

i found the writing style a bit choppy and a little confusing, the story does not seem to flow. Because of this i found it difficult to get into.

saying that you describe things beautifully!!!

congrats on being published.