Would Christ Execute Those Motherfuckers!?

[Marxist]

Isn't it funny how many Christians find it easy to find exceptions to make it OK to hate?

OK, it's not funny but it is paradoxical.

Todd, MG, any other of Christ's supposed contingent care to take a crack at the question in less than a paragraph?


I'm not a follower, but my instincts and reading skills tell me no. He seemed to have a problem with the death penalty the first time around.

 

[SimplySouthern]

I'm almost certain Christ never called anyone a motherfucker.

Whoremonger, maybe. Motherfucker, nope.

 

[Problem Child]

Marc, buddy.

I'm not a Christian, and I don't believe in the death penalty. The Marines should still accidentally shoot the traitor Johnny Walker.

As Wilford Brimley used to say, "It's the right thing to do".

(didn't he say that?)

 

[miles]

Problem Child

He was talking about Fruit and Fibre Cereal.

 

[Problem Child]

Re: Problem Child

He was talking about Fruit and Fibre Cereal.

Fruit and Fibre cereal, shooting traitors...same diff.

 

[Laurel]

Re: Re: Problem Child

Fruit and Fibre cereal, shooting traitors...same diff.

Absolutely! I shoot me a traitor every morning, just to keep the mail moving, if you know what I mean.

 

[oakleyx4]

Hate

Nothing wrong with hate. I think we all hate onething or another. Its an emotion. Do we blame Jews for hateing Hitler.

 

[Marxist]

Marc, buddy.

I'm not a Christian, and I don't believe in the death penalty. The Marines should still accidentally shoot the traitor Johnny Walker.

As Wilford Brimley used to say, "It's the right thing to do".

(didn't he say that?)

I'd love to be the one to bring him to trial and execute him myself (if I weren't a weak-in-the-knees-pussy). But I just find it unacceptable to have the Lit. board Christians (ironic, no?) lining up to do it when Christ wouldn't have.

It makes about as much sense as that tanning bed in my basement. If I keep it up, I'll look like an espresso bean. Is that Black enough for you SS?

 

[Problem Child]

Re: Re: Re: Problem Child

Absolutely! I shoot me a traitor every morning, just to keep the mail moving, if you know what I mean.

I admire your devotion to the second amendment, Big L.

 

[miles]

Laurel

Reminds me of that skit on SNL...the cereal with 10,000 times more fiber than the leading brand:

Colon Blow

...and now introducing Super Colon Blow.

 

[Laurel]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Problem Child

I admire your devotion to the second amendment, Big L.

I'm a big fan of all of the amendments, you know. And if promoting Freedom keeps my colon healthy, that's just a bonus.

 

[Laurel]

Re: Laurel

Reminds me of that skit on SNL...the cereal with 10,000 times more fiber than the leading brand:

Colon Blow

...and now introducing Super Colon Blow.

LMAO! That's a funny bit. Phil Hartman's in that one. He was so funny. What a shame.

Speaking of SNL, does anyone remember The Lazlo Letters?

 

[KillerMuffin]

I adored Phil Hartman. If his wife was Jesus Christ, she'd execute those motherfuckers, rectal health or no.

 

[Marxist]

Re: Re: Laurel

LMAO! That's a funny bit. Phil Hartman's in that one. He was so funny. What a shame.

Speaking of SNL, does anyone remember The Lazlo Letters?

Father Guido wrote those, no?

I've always wanted to do something like that myself but never had the guts.

 

[Problem Child]

I wonder how Jesus' rectal health was? Do Messiahs get hemmorhoids? Colon cancer? Would he need a high fiber diet, or could he eat a lot of pizza and smoke cigarrettes (Camels, of course) since he's like...holy, and all?

 

[Marxist]

I wonder how Jesus' rectal health was? Do Messiahs get hemmorhoids? Colon cancer? Would he need a high fiber diet, or could he eat a lot of pizza and smoke cigarrettes (Camels, of course) since he's like...holy, and all?

He was a little young for the proctological probe. Besides, didn't you see him on the cross? You don't get abs like that with a shitty diet. Fish, loaves, and wine for Christ. That's eatin' healthy!

 

[miles]

Problem Child

They Don't Make Jews Like Jesus No More - Kinky Friedman

 

[Problem Child]

I'm curious if his Daily Bread was wheat, pita, or wonder? And where did they get those railroad spikes they nailed him up with?

 

[KillerMuffin]

I suddenly feel like I'm sitting in a coffee shop in downtown Monterey. I'm supposed to be studying Korean but no, sitting around a table suckin on tea and speculating on blasphemies such as whether or not Mary felt gypped out of the orgasm, or if the Big Guy gave her the Big O and the rectal health of the savior.

I fully expect PC to get up and go hit on the chick who just parked the Porsche outside and Marxist to wave his biscotti in the air and demand something American just to piss of the waitress. Of course, Laurel and I will pretend to have made out in the bathroom just to drive ya'll nuts.

Your taxdollars at work.

Whoops, flashback.

 

[miles]

PC

Those aren't RR spikes, douche puddle. They are horseshoe spikes from Home Depot.

 

[Guest]

OH BROTHER!

I'm a christian and I find it very difficult to hate, that is to hate anything but evil.

Here's one for you marxist:

Proverbs 8:12-15

12. "I, wisdom, dwell together with prudence; I posses knowledge and discretion.
13. TO FEAR THE LORD IS TO HATE EVIL; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech.
14. Counsel and sound judgment are mine; I have understanding and power.
15. By me kings reign and rulers make laws that are just;

Sounds to me like we have some wise people in here.

 

[PHANTOM5875]

The only thing in the whole wide world that I hate is HATE itself.

I don't hate anyone. Never have, never will.

Is it hate to put down a rabid dog wandering down the street in your neighborhood striking out at everything and everyone in it's dying rage infecting them with it's poison?

Was it hate to kill enough Nazis until they stopped murdering the world?

Was it hate to bomb a murderous Yugoslav regime until it ceased performing genocide on it's own neighbors who just happened to be of a different faith or ethnic background.

I don't think so.

Is there joy in the deed? Not if you're a sane person with any feelings at all for your fellow man or woman.

If anything, it's a love espressed with a saddened heart.


Oh, HELL! What do I know?

Phantom

 

[Laurel]

Re: Re: Re: Laurel

Father Guido wrote those, no?

I've always wanted to do something like that myself but never had the guts.

Yessir. I had this idea the other night for a book of that nature. While heating Campbell's Chicken & Stars, I noticed that the can bore a phone number that you can call if you "have questions". I checked a few other foods in my kitchen and noticed that they too bore 1-800 numbers that I could call if I "had questions". So I thought, how about a book based on a comedian or comedienne (which I am neither) calling these numbers and asking questions? But the more I thought about it, the more it sounded like a lame Jerky Boys rip-off. Who knows. If it were done by the right person, I still think it could be brilliant.

What was the question again?

 

[Marxist]

I'm curious if his Daily Bread was wheat, pita, or wonder? And where did they get those railroad spikes they nailed him up with?

Oh that's easy, Jesus liked Honey Sweet Italian (deli-Kosher of course).

They borrowed the spikes from Trent Reznor.



"Now get me some real American cookies, yeah, something like those Scottish shortbread, and take this bis...biscuitttet back. Save it for the faggots and foreigners!"---does that help KM?

 

[Problem Child]

I wonder if Jesus ate Mary Magdeleine's pussy? I bet he was good at it, if he did.

I mean, if a guy can walk on water he oughta be able to find a clitoris, right?