Would a (gay) woman ever use the term 'fuckable', and if not then what?

[LargoKitt]

I posted a story, "Serendipity Sex", in which I have a lesbian woman really pissed off because her lover has called her 'not fuckable.' A good comment suggested that this is a slight that would very very rarely come from a woman. Much more guy POV sex object attitude. I'll accept this critique. It's good to listen to how people really talk and think. I do see how some drunk cis women might trash another woman who was lonely and not blessed with sterling good looks by using this term. Or maybe not. So, in the interests of research, perhaps some gay and bi women here might share how you would trash someone who was too obsessed with career, or a cold fish, or otherwise discouraged fun times between the sheets.

 

[Bamagan]

Even if one accepts the premise that 'fuckable' is a word whose use is almost entirely restricted to men, that doesn't mean that it's out of place in your story. One of the reasons vulgarity exists is to add emphasis to one's words, which is why it is often most effective when used sparingly. Almost no one would bat an eye if Drake or Eminem said, 'Fuck {someone}!" If Dolly Parton said the same thing, it would be newsworthy. Likewise, using an insult or slang that is uncommon amongst your peer group can be very jarring and therefore carry extra weight... especially if things like 'bitch' or 'cunt' have ceased to cause much reaction.

 

[TheRedChamber]

Almost no one would bat an eye if Drake or Eminem said, 'Fuck {someone}!" If Dolly Parton said the same thing, it would be newsworthy.

And yet, if it came down to a choice of starting a real 'beef' with either Eminem or Dolly, somehow I'd choose Mr Marshall Mathers every time.

 

[Bamagan]

And yet, if it came down to a choice of starting a real 'beef' with either Eminem or Dolly, somehow I'd choose Mr Marshall Mathers every time.

Yeah, she seems like the kind of person who might have learned ninjitsu between tours. Or maybe pyromancy. Typical hobbies of the idle rich.

 

[Cagivagurl]

It is not a term I have heard in my circle...People are people, some use swearing and vulgar language as if it were common English...
I am one of those. Gay, or non binary people are just people.
Some curse, and some don't...
Still, I have never heard a female use that term...

Cagivagurl

 

[Erozetta]

I've used it, but never to a person directly.

The good news is "very very rarely" isn't the same as "never" so if your character would say it, it doesn't matter how many women would also say it.

 

[Rustyoznail]

Once upon a time back in the 80s, a group of friends and myself were camping, and the booze was freely flowing around the campfire. We were spinning the usual shit, and the conversation went to celebrity "fuck or not fuck". One of males in our group declared that Nicole Kidman and Brooke Shields were extremely fuckable, and one of the women agreed, saying she'd happily tag team with both of them. That raised a few eyebrows, particularly from her boyfriend.

So there you go.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

I'm a queer woman. I've been known to use the word fuckable.

I'm a bit confused by the context here though - if the speaker is the lover of the insultee, surely by definition the woman has been fuckable? What changed?

'Don't give me stereotypical lesbian bed death' might be said.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

And yet, if it came down to a choice of starting a real 'beef' with either Eminem or Dolly, somehow I'd choose Mr Marshall Mathers every time.

Mr Mathers would just write a song about you.
With Dolly you'd end up encased in concrete under a roller coaster at Dollywood.

There's a reason no one talks about Rhinestone...anymore.

 

[joy_of_cooking]

Since it seems like we've opened the thread to men and straight women now, I'll say that I hear "fuckable" much more in the positive sense than the negative. E.g., "you're very fuckable," but not "you're not fuckable." The latter sounds quite odd to me.

 

[alohadave]

Typical hobbies of the idle rich.

I don't think idle rich is a description that could be applied to Dolly Parton.

 

[TiberiusPrime]

I don't think idle rich is a description that could be applied to Dolly Parton.

100% agreed. She's definitely rich, but not idle. Matter of fact, she should be a billionaire, but she keeps donating to good causes and reducing her wealth. One of the biggest being Imagination Library.

 

[Foxed]

I’m not sure being gay or straight determines which words you can use

 

[Nynah]

I'm also a queer woman and I read the story in question. I don't have a problem with the way the word is used by the character given how she is described.

Context matters; the social setting and background of the characters usually dictates their vocabulary and as long as its established that they speak a certain way, I think it's fine to use words like that.

"Fuckable" might be used by cis men in a male gaze POV, but that doesn't mean it can't be reclaimed by a queer character to use as well. Plenty of other vulgarities have been repurposed in this way.

 

[Comshaw]

Mr Mathers would just write a song about you.
With Dolly you'd end up encased in concrete under a roller coaster at Dollywood.

There's a reason no one talks about Rhinestone...anymore.

Yeah, best not mess with the Pigeon Forge Mafia.

Comshaw

 

[Britva415]

I posted a story, "Serendipity Sex", in which I have a lesbian woman really pissed off because her lover has called her 'not fuckable.' A good comment suggested that this is a slight that would very very rarely come from a woman. Much more guy POV sex object attitude. I'll accept this critique. It's good to listen to how people really talk and think. I do see how some drunk cis women might trash another woman who was lonely and not blessed with sterling good looks by using this term. Or maybe not. So, in the interests of research, perhaps some gay and bi women here might share how you would trash someone who was too obsessed with career, or a cold fish, or otherwise discouraged fun times between the sheets.

Sounds to me like your story was about the kind of lesbian who would say 'fuckable' (or 'unfuckable,' as the case may be.)

It's just one lesbian. It doesn't any something about lesbians generally or all lesbians everywhere.

Which is what your asinine commenter wants to do.

Don't be like them.

 

[LargoKitt]

I'm a queer woman. I've been known to use the word fuckable.

I'm a bit confused by the context here though - if the speaker is the lover of the insultee, surely by definition the woman has been fuckable? What changed?

'Don't give me stereotypical lesbian bed death' might be said.

Kumquatqueen, I imagined that my main character's lover; who had moved on to another woman, peraps a bit 'in her cups' and in the heat of the moment, on the phone, rejected her 'soon to be ex' with the 'unfuckable' term because she was saying, "Every time I try to get with you, you have an excuse. My new gal is hot to trot and you ain't. Excuse, excuse, justification." I think people often use 'pushing away terms' when they *want* the other to say, "Well after *that* there is no going back." Maybe the new lover even whispered, "Tell her she's 'unfuckable'. That'll seal the 'no deal.'"

 

[joy_of_cooking]

unfuckable

Oh that's different. In my mind, fuckable means extremely attractive and unfuckable means actively repulsive, like I couldn't bring myself to fuck you if I tried. They exist on a continuum with a significant gap in the middle, like pretty vs ugly. You can be neither. Most people are. It's not much of an insult to be merely "not fuckable" but it is an insult to be "unfuckable". Curious if that's how others understand these terms as well.

 

[LargoKitt]

I think I used 'fuckable' in the sense a guy would say, "I'd tap that". Pretty damn sexist and objectifying in that context. But a fuckable person could be someone you might not want as a friend or in a long term relationship, but wow would it be nice to give them a tumble. 'Unfuckable' reeks of flawed in some way that makes sex repulsive. 'Not fuckable' OTOH might just mean married, or too old, or your boss.

 

[Djmac1031]

Does your character say it?
Is your character a gay woman?

then there ya go.

The debate about whether its "offensive" or "male perspective" is irrelevant.

It's your character. If she says that, she says it

 

[iwatchus]

Does your character say it?
Is your character a gay woman?

then there ya go.

The debate about whether its "offensive" or "male perspective" is irrelevant.

It's your character. If she says that, she says it

I think this dodges the question a bit.

Yes, it is his character. But I think, as authors, most of us want to create characters that others can relate to, that feel real. It is hard to make characters that feel real to a community you are not part of. So we have a choice, do we limit ourselves to writing about communities we are already part of and be exclusionary, or do we try to learn about other communities so our characters and our stories can be more inclusionary. I much prefer to latter.

I was curious about the answer because I am not a lesbian. I have known many (not biblically, but everyone has their own tastes), but vanishingly few in a comfortable enough social setting where I could imagine fuckable being uttered by anyone.

 

[lovecraft68]

I see no issue with it because there shouldn't be a rule dictating certain people can't say certain things.

If a woman says in regard to another woman "she's fuckable or not fuckable" its obvious the meaning is whether or not she finds them desirable. This isn't complicated.

You wanted to use the term, you did. You're writing fiction and dialogue, do what you want.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

I think fuckable has one clear meaning. Unfuckable isn't nearly such a common word, and could mean someone you are repulsed by the idea of fucking, or someone off-limits to fuck (your friend's family member, say), or someone who is simply Not Available for Fucking, because they're too busy. I'm not clear whether your character means the first or the third, or maybe mostly the third but heavily implying the first, but assuming it's clear in context, it seems a reasonable word to use assuming the speaker is happy to use words like fuck occasionally.