worst story ever?

[sanchopanza]

i've seen crap but i can't remember what the worst story i've ever seen was. i was thinking of writing a story so bad it would inspire death threats from respectable porno writers but it would probably end up so bad its good.

direct me to the worst story ever . . .

 

[Quasimodem]

. . . direct me to the worst story ever . . .

INTENTIONALLY would possibly be Og's "The Worst Chain Story Ever, Chap 01"

ACCIDENTALLY would probably be my "Attack of the Slug-Ugly."

 

[sanchopanza]

oo slug ugly i'm tingling in anticipation. i'll read it right away

 

[oggbashan]

But please don't miss my contribution listed below:

Og

 

[Chicklet]

I did the random story spinner in the Celebrities section when I wanted to know what a celebrities story was s'posed to be like and came across a short spin-off of "the dark crystal" - it was the worst peice of trash I'd ever seen...badly written, bad story, bad everything. It's the only "2" i ever gave out.

Chicklet

 

[bridgeburner]

I don't read all the genres, but I have to admit that I've found a greater percentage of poor stories in the celebrities section ----not that I would generally read the celebrities section but I got a couple sent my way to edit and like Chicklet I felt that if I read some of the submissions I might know better what to be looking for and not give bad editor advice.

This is not a reflection on the celebrites stories that I've had submitted to me for editing --- well except for one, but I doubt that author looks up my posts seeing as how she never responded to me when I sent her story back to her or ever answered any of my subsequent email queries.

....but I digress.


I've read some truly awful celeb stories. I've also read some unbelievably bad pseudo-Indian stories --- you know the ones where the author claims to be Indian or Middle Eastern and then writes as if s/he barely knows English. They're generally brutal non-consent stories involving lead pipes and hairy, naive school girls and their predatory professors.

Or perhaps I'm the only person that's ever come across those stories.

Hmmmm.....having attack of "I've been out of circulation too long and everything I say sounds either offensive or mildly psychotic or both."

Think I'll shut up for now.



-B

 

[MathGirl]

DG

Dear Sanch,
I suggest you browse through the Durt Gurl collection. "Me and Mom" and "M'sSABS" are particularly noteworthy.

<http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=209212>

MG

Ps. Good grief! I just tried that URL, and went to the author page. For some reason, three of DG's stories are rated "H." So much for standards around here!

 

[dr_mabeuse]

i've seen crap but i can't remember what the worst story i've ever seen was. i was thinking of writing a story so bad it would inspire death threats from respectable porno writers but it would probably end up so bad its good.

I would strongly advise against this unless you want to get really depressed.

I wrote the worst, most illiterate, stupid piece of crap I could for the DurtGurl Combine, and I got feedback from people who took it seriously and went so far as to suggest minor plot changes to "make the story better". I think that out of 5 pieces of feedback, 2 didn't like it, the rest thought it was pretty okay. No one figured out that it was a parody. It depressed me so much that I didn't write for weeks.

---dr.M.

 

[sanchopanza]

ah yes the good old celebrities section. so reliable. its just a fundamental flaw in the story from the start - people who write celebrities stories often write for a different reason than other people - its the whole imagining a celebrity having sex thing that appeals to particular people and so particular people write the stories. i've only looked at them, never managed to read one straight through. i just looked now and found that there are emmerdale porno stories - sex in a farming community with not very attractive people? why?

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Re: worst story ever?

Originally posted by dr_mabeuse It depressed me so much that I didn't write for weeks.

Dear Dr M,
I think what depressed you so much was finding out that you were really good at something you didn't want to be good at.
MG

 

[Guest]

 

[Icingsugar]

Re: Re: worst story ever?

I wrote the worst, most illiterate, stupid piece of crap I could for the DurtGurl Combine, and I got feedback from people who took it seriously and went so far as to suggest minor plot changes to "make the story better". I think that out of 5 pieces of feedback, 2 didn't like it, the rest thought it was pretty okay. No one figured out that it was a parody. It depressed me so much that I didn't write for weeks.

M, everyone has to suck at something. It's obviously your curse to suck at writing sucky.

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Re: Re: worst story ever?

M, everyone has to suck at something. It's obviously your curse to suck at writing sucky.

Dear Ici,
No. What bothers Dr M is that he's so good at it.
MG

 

[LorriLove]

hiya

the worse story you ever read isn't quite finished yet, i'll let you know when i finish it and post it here and yes i know mg 3 to 5 days if the flag's not at half mast.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Half of the trash in Interracial is the worst story you'll ever read.

"Make me your cum-hungry white cumslut"..?

 

[Guest]

"Make me your cum-hungry white cumslut"..?

Ptui! Eeew. Yuk yuk.

Perdita

 

[MathGirl]

Half of the trash in Interracial is the worst story you'll ever read.

"Make me your cum-hungry white cumslut"..?

Dear Svenska,
It isn't just confined to the Interracial category: "Tikkel my tonncils with that big black sallamie. Mfffgghh." DurtGurl
MG

 

[Svenskaflicka]

New Title for DurtGurl?

"DurtGurl - Intercategorial Trash"

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Ptui! Eeew. Yuk yuk.

Perdita

And still I managed to leave out the word "cum" a few times. A really bad author can use that word 5 times in one and the same sentence.

I'm guessing they get off on writing down words that their mama has told them are BAD.

 

[WildRose40DDD]

Literotica or Illiterotica

Some of these authors are barely literate. The naughty words are the only ones they know and can spell. And with some, you can totally forget grammar.

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Literotica or Illiterotica

Some of these authors are barely literate. The naughty words are the only ones they know and can spell. And with some, you can totally forget grammar.

Dear WR,
Wel, we get allong as best us can.
MG
Ps. Do you have big tits? You know, blessed in the bazonga department? Have humongous hooters?
Pps. Svenska, Poo poo. Ka ka. Wee wee. Poopie.

 

[Jenny _S]

Re: Re: Literotica or Illiterotica

Dear WR,

Ps. Do you have big tits? You know, blessed in the bazonga department? Have humongous hooters?

If the answer is yes... prove it!!!

 

[WildRose40DDD]

Big Tits??

Yes I do! Natural 40ddd's
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?threadid=204277

 

[Xelebes]

i've seen crap but i can't remember what the worst story i've ever seen was. i was thinking of writing a story so bad it would inspire death threats from respectable porno writers but it would probably end up so bad its good.

direct me to the worst story ever . . .

Reminds me of the two Chrono Trigger remixes "Bad Tuna" and "Music of my Groin".

Sooooo bad it makes the BEER (Barely... something something something... can't quite remember) contests blush in it's goddawfulness.

 

[raphy]

I don't read all the genres, but I have to admit that I've found a greater percentage of poor stories in the celebrities section ----not that I would generally read the celebrities section but I got a couple sent my way to edit and like Chicklet I felt that if I read some of the submissions I might know better what to be looking for and not give bad editor advice.

Fanfic, which is essentially what the celebrity stories are, is usually universally bad. Written by fans for fans, they generally don't care too much about plot or grammar - Just that they get to see their favourite characters/actors doing what they, the fans, want them to do, rather than what they've seen on TV or in movies.

I haven't read any fanfic on lit, and I don't intend to. It doesn't surprise me that the standards on here are generally the same as for regular (non-erotic) fanfic.