World's Oldest Dirty Joke

dr_mabeuse

seduce the mind
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Oct 10, 2002
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From Yahoo:Oldest dirty joke
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LONDON (Reuters Life!) - The world's oldest recorded joke has been traced back to 1900 BC and suggests that toilet humor was as popular with the ancients as it is today.

It is a saying of the Sumerians, who lived in what is now southern Iraq and goes: "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap."

It heads the world's oldest top 10 joke list published by the University of Wolverhampton on Thursday.

A 1600 BC gag about a pharaoh, said to be King Snofru, comes second -- "How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish."

The oldest British joke dates back to the 10th Century and reveals the bawdy face of the Anglo-Saxons -- "What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before? Answer: A key."

"Jokes have varied over the years, with some taking the question and answer format while others are witty proverbs or riddles," said the report's writer Dr Paul McDonald, senior lecturer at the university.

"What they all share however, is a willingness to deal with taboos and a degree of rebellion. Modern puns, Essex girl jokes and toilet humor can all be traced back to the very earliest jokes identified in this research."

The study was commissioned by television channel Dave. The top 10 oldest jokes can be viewed at www.dave-tv.co.uk.
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Women dressed in fishing nets? Even then they were wearing that kind of stuff, huh? That Snofru, a man after my own heart!
 
A 1600 BC gag about a pharaoh, said to be King Snofru, comes second -- "How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish."
Snofru was pharaoh about 1000 years earlier though.

Still, fishnets eh?
 
Rocket Man

What's an "Essex girl joke"?

Think "blonde" jokes....

As in "I'm a blonde, I'm a blonde, I'm a b-l-......... I'm a blonde, I'm a blonde!"

But back on those early jokes... Those Sumerians were real knee-slappers, weren't they?

Well.. maybe you needed to be there...

:D

-KC
 
First one I remember hearing went like this:

Ever have a cunt around your head? No? Well what'd your mother do, shit you out?

Ah, the joys of public education.

That wasn't 1600 BCE, but I am deuced old.
 
*guitar chords in my head*

Stray Cats said:
Well my sweet baby wears fishnet stockings
When she starts a rockin' there ain't no stoppin'

Singing wop bop a doo dop fishnet stockings
Shoo wop a doo dop when she's rockin'
Bop bop a doo dop there ain't no stoppin'
Rockin' with my baby in her fishnet stockings

Well she's got a pair in pink
She's got a pair in red
When she puts the black ones she makes me loose my head
 
Essex Girls

Sample:

Q. How does an Essex Girl turn the light off before having sex?
A. Shuts the door of Wayne's Ford Cortina.

Q. What is the Essex Girl definition of a "tight pussy"?
A. A cat that has been drinking the Essex Girl's vodka. No Essex Girl ever has been known to have a tight vagina.

Q. Who was the first Essex Girl?
A. Queen Boadicea. She was so annoyed when the Roman Soldiers raped her daughters but NOT her, that she burnt Colchester, St Albans and London. Don't shun an Essex Girl. She is capable of extreme violence.

Og
 
Not dirty, but an old Cumean joke (probably 2,000 years old):

A Cumean went to the embalmer's to fetch the body of his father. The embalmer, looking for the right corpse, asked him if the man had any distinctive features. "Yes. A terrible cough."
 
Not dirty, but an old Cumean joke (probably 2,000 years old):

A Cumean went to the embalmer's to fetch the body of his father. The embalmer, looking for the right corpse, asked him if the man had any distinctive features. "Yes. A terrible cough."
You made that up!
 
Ha ha ha ha

Last time I heard that one I fell off my pet dinosaur!

From Yahoo:Oldest dirty joke
==================
LONDON (Reuters Life!) - The world's oldest recorded joke has been traced back to 1900 BC and suggests that toilet humor was as popular with the ancients as it is today.

It is a saying of the Sumerians, who lived in what is now southern Iraq and goes: "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap."

It heads the world's oldest top 10 joke list published by the University of Wolverhampton on Thursday.

A 1600 BC gag about a pharaoh, said to be King Snofru, comes second -- "How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish."

The oldest British joke dates back to the 10th Century and reveals the bawdy face of the Anglo-Saxons -- "What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before? Answer: A key."

"Jokes have varied over the years, with some taking the question and answer format while others are witty proverbs or riddles," said the report's writer Dr Paul McDonald, senior lecturer at the university.

"What they all share however, is a willingness to deal with taboos and a degree of rebellion. Modern puns, Essex girl jokes and toilet humor can all be traced back to the very earliest jokes identified in this research."

The study was commissioned by television channel Dave. The top 10 oldest jokes can be viewed at www.dave-tv.co.uk.
================

Women dressed in fishing nets? Even then they were wearing that kind of stuff, huh? That Snofru, a man after my own heart!
 
I wonder if the pix on the tomb walls were actually comix?
 
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