Women's views on Cuckolding

[deborahsue]

Greetings,
My name is Deborah and my husband and I have been in the cuckolding lifestyle for the past 11 years. I have written a few things on the subject on Literotica, but seem to get very few comments on my writing from the ladies. I am curious to hear your views on the subject. I write under the name deborahsue in the fetish section, in case you wish to read something of mine.

Thanks for your thoughts,
Deborah Sue

 

[chimpers767]

Greetings,
My name is Deborah and my husband and I have been in the cuckolding lifestyle for the past 11 years. I have written a few things on the subject on Literotica, but seem to get very few comments on my writing from the ladies. I am curious to hear your views on the subject. I write under the name deborahsue in the fetish section, in case you wish to read something of mine.

Thanks for your thoughts,
Deborah Sue

I am a guy. Several yrs ago, I realized there is a niche porn market for moms cucking-, teasing, tormenting their sons.Are you familiar with this fetish?

 

[BadGirl420]

I am turned on by many aspects of cuckold and cuckquean. Aside from the degrading aspect. My husband isn't into cuckold though :-\

 

[Andrealikessex]

I have skimmed through your stories, my husband I practice similar things, would like to chat more with you, if you would be willing.

This lifestyle is not for everybody.

 

[Joseywales74]

My wife and I also are new to this but have enjoyed the new experiences. Would like to pm others about experiences and things to make it better. Pm me Andrea if we could talk.

 

[Joseywales74]

As a person who has some experience with cuckolding and roleplays i appreciate the guidelines. Hotwife is there to be worshipped and cuck husband already knows what turns her on most , its bulls job to find those hotspots as SLOWLY as possible as it is the' build up' and 'getting to know' process that is the seduction ....never forget that hotwife is doing this for her man as well as herself....the role plays i have used on early contact have added immeasuriably to the overall experience of all parties (so i have been told)....slow dddooooowwwnnnnnn

 

[quietlylooking]

I don't get into cuckolding, but I have experienced a virtual "hot wife" situation which was incredible. The difference for me is the power that the two men hold. I want the man I go home with (not the "bull") to be the one who has ultimate control and power over both of us throughout. But it's o.k. if he... questions me.

 

[irishblade]

I am turned on by many aspects of cuckold and cuckquean. Aside from the degrading aspect. My husband isn't into cuckold though :-\

Clearly you and I need to do a wife or husband swap thing.

 

[policywank]

For me it has always been about my sexual appetites and the need/desire for more than one lover. It has nothing to do with finding a better man or humiliating my husband (although we have role played that). He is a very good lover. I have just never found any one man who I found to be enough.

I tend to believe that a woman's sexual activity is constrained by her desire - our actual capacity for sex is effectively unlimited. Whereas a man's sexual activity is constrained by his physical capacity. Obviously that is oversimplified and in both cases I am assuming willing and available partners. For most monogamous couples balance is achieved because his capacity is equal to or greater than her desire.

That sounds like a boring math analysis but in our case my desire exceeds his capacity. So the simple fact is that I can satisfy his needs but he cannot fully satisfy mine. We tried open relationship but he found it frustrating and disappointing and preferred to be with me and I committed to make him my top priority in exchange for letting me play around.

And just to comment on one more myth, I don't go around fucking anyone who asks. That is the route to bad sex, STDs and physical danger. I am as discriminating as any woman. I just choose not to limit myself to one man - all of the other men I see are "regulars" to one degree or another and it has been many years since I just picked some guy up in a bar.

 

[Andrealikessex]

As far as my relationship with my husband, cuckolding is not in any way a form of humilation or punishment. This was something he and I mutually agreed upon to keep our marriage happy. It is I that had the problem with cheating in past relationships, and when I met my current husband, I did not wish to hurt him, so I was honest and up front with him, I told him that I did not believe that one man could sexually satisfy me, of course it took some time for him to come around to the idea.This has not ever been about the size of his cock, or his ability as a lover. I do not ever deny him sex. From this, other fetishes and kinks have arisen, that he and I have fully embraced. We make the rules together, he is also always in the decision making.

We do not practice keeping him chaste, we do not practice any form of humilation.

 

[sunandshadow]

I don't like humiliation-related sexual activities, so I mostly only like cuckolding where the husband is a voyeur or he's bi and it's an m/m/f threesome.

 

[deborahsue]

To: PolicyWank

For me it has always been about my sexual appetites and the need/desire for more than one lover. It has nothing to do with finding a better man or humiliating my husband (although we have role played that). He is a very good lover. I have just never found any one man who I found to be enough.

I tend to believe that a woman's sexual activity is constrained by her desire - our actual capacity for sex is effectively unlimited. Whereas a man's sexual activity is constrained by his physical capacity. Obviously that is oversimplified and in both cases I am assuming willing and available partners. For most monogamous couples balance is achieved because his capacity is equal to or greater than her desire.

That sounds like a boring math analysis but in our case my desire exceeds his capacity. So the simple fact is that I can satisfy his needs but he cannot fully satisfy mine. We tried open relationship but he found it frustrating and disappointing and preferred to be with me and I committed to make him my top priority in exchange for letting me play around.

And just to comment on one more myth, I don't go around fucking anyone who asks. That is the route to bad sex, STDs and physical danger. I am as discriminating as any woman. I just choose not to limit myself to one man - all of the other men I see are "regulars" to one degree or another and it has been many years since I just picked some guy up in a bar.

Very much along my way of thinking on the subject as well. I would sure appreciate it if you would read some of my musing on the subject and let me know what you think. There is some philosophical aspects as well as my introduction to cuckolding (a novella some 41,000 words long, so maybe the shorter articles would be better). My writings are under the name deborahsue.

 

[deborahsue]

To: Andrea

As far as my relationship with my husband, cuckolding is not in any way a form of humilation or punishment. This was something he and I mutually agreed upon to keep our marriage happy. It is I that had the problem with cheating in past relationships, and when I met my current husband, I did not wish to hurt him, so I was honest and up front with him, I told him that I did not believe that one man could sexually satisfy me, of course it took some time for him to come around to the idea.This has not ever been about the size of his cock, or his ability as a lover. I do not ever deny him sex. From this, other fetishes and kinks have arisen, that he and I have fully embraced. We make the rules together, he is also always in the decision making.

We do not practice keeping him chaste, we do not practice any form of humilation.

In this we totally agree; humiliation or punishment is not something we are interested in. Nor chastity for that matter. However, my husband enjoys teasing and I have decided to go along with his desire in that. For us, the 'size' of the lover is important, but I have written about such in other places.

Thanks for the comments ladies, I appreciate them very much and keep them coming

 

[monanympho]

I have played with a guy as his wife was watching. Quite a bit of fun.

 

[policywank]

Very much along my way of thinking on the subject as well. I would sure appreciate it if you would read some of my musing on the subject and let me know what you think. There is some philosophical aspects as well as my introduction to cuckolding (a novella some 41,000 words long, so maybe the shorter articles would be better). My writings are under the name deborahsue.

Hi Deborahsue,

If you turn on your private messages I can respond more directly.

I did read one of your pieces yesterday. I didn't have a lot of time so I picked a short one - the cock size article. I would say our thinking is quite consistent.

There was a thread on here not too long ago about that very topic and many of the female responses were along the lines of "what matters most is what you do with it" or "what matters most is the man it is attached to". I agree with those sentiments as well and near as I can tell you do too. But they don't actually answer the question.

The question was whether it matters, not whether it is the most important or only factor. By definition, if it is even only a very minor consideration it is still a consideration. So the answer is yes.

It strikes me as indicative of the way in which we have been conditioned to be a bit evasive in the interest of protecting male egos or avoiding judgment. It is one of many topics where we are expected to adopt views that are quite illogical.

I hear often the notion that if a man was pleasing his wife she would never want another man. But even traditional men who are completely devoted to their wives and would never cheat take it as a given that they find other women sexually desirable. Why must it be assumed that we are different?

Or if your wife does have sexual relations with other men she will fall in love with them and leave you. For all of time men have been inclined to take mistresses or concubines for specific reasons and it is assumed that they can distinguish between a good lay and true love. Why would it be otherwise for women?

 

[gregy70]

Hi Deborah Sue.
I'm a guy with what I consider a small cock.
I've always felt that if I love a woman why wouldn't I want her to enjoy the pleasures of other men & of course bigger cocks.
In my real world I've slipped by hinting my view a few times but only once met a woman who expressed excitement to my face.
Anyway I loved your story "Three Weeks In Texas".
The way you tell it is wonderful & to take the journey thru your story was beautiful & liberating.
I appreciate women who understand & embrace the lifestyle as you have.
Thankyou!
Greg

 

[Tomahawk26]

For me cuckolding isn't sexy because it puts my husband in what I see as an emasculated, submissive position, and that is not how I see him or want to see him. When I'm fucking another guy, whether he's there or not, it's always with his permission and I'm taking photos for him and remembering everything about it to tell him later. There is no question about who fulfills me more, or who has a bigger cock. A lot of people have called what we do "cuckolding" (I think that's just what people think of as the default term for a married/attached woman fucking other men) but to me that term will always have a connotation of humiliation and male submissiveness.

 

[screwher]

For me cuckolding isn't sexy because it puts my husband in what I see as an emasculated, submissive position, and that is not how I see him or want to see him. When I'm fucking another guy, whether he's there or not, it's always with his permission and I'm taking photos for him and remembering everything about it to tell him later. There is no question about who fulfills me more, or who has a bigger cock. A lot of people have called what we do "cuckolding" (I think that's just what people think of as the default term for a married/attached woman fucking other men) but to me that term will always have a connotation of humiliation and male submissiveness.

I agree with this. I want my wife to have sex with other men. But there will be no humiliation or submissive aspects to it. But I understand that these days the term cuckold is being used pretty loosely. I actually have a hobby that firmly puts me in alpha male territory. I just think it's hot for my wife to get fucked by another.

 

[Freya_Gin]

For me cuckolding isn't sexy because it puts my husband in what I see as an emasculated, submissive position, and that is not how I see him or want to see him. When I'm fucking another guy, whether he's there or not, it's always with his permission and I'm taking photos for him and remembering everything about it to tell him later. There is no question about who fulfills me more, or who has a bigger cock. A lot of people have called what we do "cuckolding" (I think that's just what people think of as the default term for a married/attached woman fucking other men) but to me that term will always have a connotation of humiliation and male submissiveness.

I agree with this--despite being a dominatrix. I can go there, giving a submissive humiliation and degradation like this if they want it, but it's not really my thing. So I don't like "cuckolding" by that definition. But I had a guy once who got off on watching me in bed with another guy. That was fun!

 

[tasteyourthighs]

It is great

Has brought us closer together and K has madsome new friends.

 

[SlutAddicted]

Not for me to set definitions but most of what I have read defines a cuckold as a man whose wife has sex with other men - that's it that's all. The word came into use at a time when it was assumed that he felt humiliated and was the subject of derision but that seems to be a set of presumptions at a point in time rather than part of the definition.

By way of example there was a time when homosexuality was deemed deviant behaviour and many texts include those presumptions as context. But the true definition deals only with same sex and not all the attendant presumptions.

I understand not wanting to use a word due to the negative connotations. But avoiding it gives power to those who wish to impose their negatives.

I am a cuckold who has had homosexual experiences. I also prefer women, don't care if they are exclusive to me and seem to be a better than average lover.

 

[Kittyscave]

To each their own, but it is not my cup of tea. I very much enjoy powerful, dominant, and alpha men. I couldn't imagine having my husband in a cuckold position. I know he would absolutely hateit and that would be a definite turn-off for me.

On the other hand, I love how so many men enjoy watching their partner enjoy themselves with someone else knowing she is coming back to them. It's just not for us and I can always relax more when he's in another room with his own partner.

 

[tasteyourthighs]

Yes but it can be so fun!!

 

[Ramone45]

While it may not be intended, there is a humiliation factor by the mere fact that my wife wants to make love to another man. She falls into the category as one who needs physical attention from more than one man. I don't think it rises to the level of "love" for her, but I'm not 100% sure. She has always been mindful of the effect that her extramarital relationships might have on my psyche, and she tries to reassure me that her desires are not a reflection of a dissatisfaction with me. She commits pretty fully to her lover, though. She does all the usual "girlfriend" things in addition tothe physical part of that relationship. We've agreed that sometimes it's OK for me to watch so i could get my kink out of being a cuckold. Generally, after one of those times, she is especially attentive to me.
So I would guess for her, she thinks being with a cuckold is just kind of natural and that she would need multiple lovers no matter whom she was with. It's just the way she is, and honestly, how she's always been.

 

[policywank]

While it may not be intended, there is a humiliation factor by the mere fact that my wife wants to make love to another man. She falls into the category as one who needs physical attention from more than one man. I don't think it rises to the level of "love" for her, but I'm not 100% sure. She has always been mindful of the effect that her extramarital relationships might have on my psyche, and she tries to reassure me that her desires are not a reflection of a dissatisfaction with me. She commits pretty fully to her lover, though. She does all the usual "girlfriend" things in addition tothe physical part of that relationship. We've agreed that sometimes it's OK for me to watch so i could get my kink out of being a cuckold. Generally, after one of those times, she is especially attentive to me.
So I would guess for her, she thinks being with a cuckold is just kind of natural and that she would need multiple lovers no matter whom she was with. It's just the way she is, and honestly, how she's always been.

It sounds like you and your wife have a reasonably stable handle on things.

I respectfully submit that the inherent humiliation associated with the the fact that your wife wants to make love to another man is a by-product of conditioning. All women have thought about it.....not because he is better than our spouse but just because. Every man I have ever met knows that even if he was married to the world's most sexually appealing women he'd still want to bang her sister. Women aren't so different and those who pretend otherwise are deluding themselves. The only question is whether or not she acts on those desires.