Women who have rape fantasies?

[rockcrunch]

How many of your women on here have a fantasy of being raped or have alteast fantasized about it once?

 

[Que]

Since nonconsentual, coersive or rough sex fantasies seem to be nearly ubiquitous....

.... I think a better question would be of those to do have them what do they suppose the origin of those feelings are? Why is it attractive specifically to them?


Back when we my ex and I were sex-bloggers, she penned a very good post on the subject. Her take on it is it removes the responsibility for slutty behavior and it makes it easier to feel wildly sexual without feeling that society would judge you.

I'd be interested to hear from women that share or perhaps diverge from that opinion.

I have heard women describe the feeling of being "taken" as primal as well.

 

[screwher]

My wife

I remember many years ago my wife and I discussing our sexual fantasies. She confessed to fantasizing about being raped by another man. We both found it pretty hot and had great sex afterward.

 

[ima6uldv8]

For me, it's all about loss of control. I've had rape and gang bang fantasies for a while now. And since I kind of had a taste of both with two men, I know I would love both. I will never forget that experience. Was super hot.

 

[Leigh81]

I've had forced fantasies, but not rape. Mine consist of no violence.
My husband has turned me on several scenarios that really get me going.

L

 

[BongoGal]

I've had forced fantasies, but not rape. Mine consist of no violence.

Mine don't involve violence, either, because I don't find violence to erotic, but I do consider forced sex to be rape.

 

[RedheadedHaze]

This never crosses my mind…I think because I'm always on the consensual mind set.

And I couldn't give a flying flip what anyone's judgement of my sexual activity is, so I guess there's that too.

In all seriousness, the idea that it removes the stigma from a woman as far as expressing her sexuality is an interesting one. It does intrigue me from a sociology/psychological standpoint. I'll continue to follow the thread because it's of interest to see the replies.

Editing to say that while I do have fantasies of loss of control or dominance in a situation, none of them include violence.

 

[Sheana_V]

My fantasies while not involving consent, have always involved me wanting the sex. I think a lot of women have fantasies about rape because they are resolving dissonance in their minds between wanting sex and "not supposed to be" wanting sex.
My fantasies aren't so much rape as being aggressively taken.

 

[citychick29]

I don't have a rape fantasy, but I do have the fantasy that a man I am very attracted to desires me so much he won't take "No," for an answer.

 

[Puffynsweet]

I have rape fantasies... really over the top ones involving lots of men. The fantasies are so powerful. I masturbate to them all the time and I even think about it when I'm having sex. I've always wondered why I have these fantasies because I know I wouldn't like it at all if it ever really happened. I guess it's a way of letting my wild side out of its shell in a safe sort of way.

 

[cumtastinggirl]

I have rape fantasies... really over the top ones involving lots of men. The fantasies are so powerful. I masturbate to them all the time and I even think about it when I'm having sex. I've always wondered why I have these fantasies because I know I wouldn't like it at all if it ever really happened. I guess it's a way of letting my wild side out of its shell in a safe sort of way.

Agreed

 

[BongoGal]

I'll admit that I'm the unwilling victim in most of my rape fantasies, but there are occasionally times when I get off on the idea of being the aggressor who takes what she wants.

 

[Jessika_Femme]

Had a dream where multiple men raped me in a warehouse. I was embarrassed I came.

 

[SexyLitForAll]

Fascinating thread. Thanks to all of you ladies for your posts here. As so many have said...it's not about violence. It's about the intensity of the moment, for some, and for some its losing control of the moment and not knowing for sure, what is to come.

 

[xoxoalice]

I'm way too into this idea than I should be...
The idea of being out, casually flirting, not really looking for anything... The guy getting the entirely wrong idea and becoming more and more aggressive... Him slowly pushing me away from the crowd, hands all over me, not listening when I say no, just kissing and touching... Then finally him taking what he wants from me, rough, forced sex, the kind you can't stop yourself from cumming from...
Maybe it's the lack of sex in my marriage and the idea of a man wanting me so bday he has to rape me... I dunno

 

[BongoGal]

Part of the erotic charge for me is the idea (very real, btw) that despite however much I may protest and resist a sexual assault, my body would respond with sexual arousal. My attacker's discovery of this is excruciatingly embarrassing, and it serves an an invitation for him to take further advantage of me.

 

[kaitlyn_sun]

I do sort of take issue with using the word 'rape' when describing this sort of fantasy. power play in sex is always intense, and so is the sort of feeling of loosing control... and even violence has it's place. it's all very intense fantasy material.

but I'd like to propose that we avoid using the word 'rape' when describing this sort of fantasy. because there's nothing unhealthy about this sort of fantasy... and rape is a terrible, terrible thing. words have power, and when we start to use a word with such an ugly meaning to describe something that we actually all sort of communally enjoy, then some of that enjoyment trickles over to the original meaning.

I mean... I think rapists actually operate under the assumption that we all sort of like being taken against our will. the word doesn't give you room to say "well, yea I do... but that doesn't mean YOU GET TO..."

so maybe there should be another word for the violent, dominant, non-consentual sex that we all sort of crave and fantasize about vs the violent, dominant, non-consentual sex that is a horrible, horrible crime?

 

[BongoGal]

so maybe there should be another word for the violent, dominant, non-consentual sex that we all sort of crave and fantasize about vs the violent, dominant, non-consentual sex that is a horrible, horrible crime?

I'd say that modifying the word 'rape' with the word 'fantasy' does exactly that.

 

[fireplugm]

Part of the erotic charge for me is the idea (very real, btw) that despite however much I may protest and resist a sexual assault, my body would respond with sexual arousal. My attacker's discovery of this is excruciatingly embarrassing, and it serves an an invitation for him to take further advantage of me.

I just watched a Law & Order SVU from January that I had DVR'd, where the female victim was gang-raped. During the gang-rape, she uncontrollably orgasmed over and over. I thought that was crazy - I thought that no woman would react that way. But, then I googled the topic and found that somewhere between 10 and 20 percent of female rape victims admit to orgasming - even though they clearly did not want to be raped. This, of course, led to extreme guilt on the part of the female victim. Because of the guilt, there is speculation that maybe as high as 50% of women experience physical response during rape including lubrication and orgasm. Some rape victims admit to orgasm even thought they normally cannot orgasm from vaginal sex. Some women indicate uncontrollable multiple orgasms during rape and report the rapist ejaculated multiple times - something most men cannot normally do.

Although this topic is apperently little researched, some researchers and therapists say orgasm during rape may be the female body's involuntary response that may be beyond her control - hardwired if you will, and may not have anything to do with how she may feel about the rape from an intellectual standpoint. That is, the female may lubricate to prevent injury. And she may orgasm to better accept the sperm - with the idea at one point in human development conception was not typically a voluntary act. All of this makes me wonder if rape fantasy is deeply embedded in a woman's psyche, as it was once part of the code for survival of our species - pure conjecture on my part, of course.

I was shocked to learn all of this. I do know many of my female partners over the years have mentioned rape fantasies, and I always considered rape fantasy normal for a woman. As a man, rape of a woman is not my fantasy, to the contrary, my fantasies involve women that are willing and wanton, even. That said, I can certainly enjoy and appreciate a female partner's fantasy of rape - should she chose to share it.

I imagine many woman do try to stifle rape fantasies as not being politically correct. I suppose many women simply do not share them for the same reason, or because of fear of instigating something they do not want to happen outside of fantasy. I'm very curious to read this thread. I have always been a big believer in the idea the men and women are hardwired in many ways. I hope women do not feel this kind of fantasy is "bad". I also hope forums like Literotica and threads like this help people understand that many of their feelings are perfectly normal and not something to be ashamed of.

 

[NameAnID]

I don't think any women want to be really raped.

Fantasy is another thing.

Also, telling someone you have a rape fantasy is not good choice.

 

[BongoGal]

I just watched a Law & Order SVU from January that I had DVR'd, where the female victim was gang-raped. During the gang-rape, she uncontrollably orgasmed over and over. I thought that was crazy - I thought that no woman would react that way. But, then I googled the topic and found that somewhere between 10 and 20 percent of female rape victims admit to orgasming - even though they clearly did not want to be raped. This, of course, led to extreme guilt on the part of the female victim. Because of the guilt, there is speculation that maybe as high as 50% of women experience physical response during rape including lubrication and orgasm. Some rape victims admit to orgasm even thought they normally cannot orgasm from vaginal sex. Some women indicate uncontrollable multiple orgasms during rape and report the rapist ejaculated multiple times - something most men cannot normally do.

Although this topic is apperently little researched, some researchers and therapists say orgasm during rape may be the female body's involuntary response that may be beyond her control - hardwired if you will, and may not have anything to do with how she may feel about the rape from an intellectual standpoint. That is, the female may lubricate to prevent injury. And she may orgasm to better accept the sperm - with the idea at one point in human development conception was not typically a voluntary act. All of this makes me wonder if rape fantasy is deeply embedded in a woman's psyche, as it was once part of the code for survival of our species - pure conjecture on my part, of course.

I was shocked to learn all of this. I do know many of my female partners over the years have mentioned rape fantasies, and I always considered rape fantasy normal for a woman. As a man, rape of a woman is not my fantasy, to the contrary, my fantasies involve women that are willing and wanton, even. That said, I can certainly enjoy and appreciate a female partner's fantasy of rape - should she chose to share it.

I imagine many woman do try to stifle rape fantasies as not being politically correct. I suppose many women simply do not share them for the same reason, or because of fear of instigating something they do not want to happen outside of fantasy. I'm very curious to read this thread. I have always been a big believer in the idea the men and women are hardwired in many ways. I hope women do not feel this kind of fantasy is "bad". I also hope forums like Literotica and threads like this help people understand that many of their feelings are perfectly normal and not something to be ashamed of.

Good post. One thing I'd argue with a bit is this: "...some researchers and therapists say orgasm during rape may be the female body's involuntary response that may be beyond her control - hardwired if you will, and may not have anything to do with how she may feel about the rape from an intellectual standpoint. That is, the female may lubricate to prevent injury." This seems to imply that the body's sexual response is of a distinctly different sort when it responds during a rape. I'd say that it the same response under dramatically different circumstances. Women lubricate in response to genital contact, and this isn't voluntary. If it is "to prevent injury", then that is why women lubricate during consensual sex as well. I liken the sexual response during rape to that of being tickled. A person being tickled may very well not want to be tickled, but he or she will still be unable to keep from laughing uncontrollably when it happens. It is just what the body does when touched in a certain way. The same thing would happen to a guy if his penis is touched in certain ways. It could be completely nonconsensual, but he'll still get hard and eventually ejaculate no matter how much he may want to resist doing so. It would be ridiculous to say that his orgasm somehow shows that he wanted it.

Rape is psychologically traumatic enough, and I can only imagine how much more disturbing it must be if a woman who responded sexually to the point of orgasm doesn't understand that her body responded the way it was built to respond. It must be even worse for those who "normally cannot orgasm from vaginal sex".

 

[fireplugm]

Good post. One thing I'd argue with a bit is this: "...some researchers and therapists say orgasm during rape may be the female body's involuntary response that may be beyond her control - hardwired if you will, and may not have anything to do with how she may feel about the rape from an intellectual standpoint. That is, the female may lubricate to prevent injury." This seems to imply that the body's sexual response is of a distinctly different sort when it responds during a rape. I'd say that it the same response under dramatically different circumstances. Women lubricate in response to genital contact, and this isn't voluntary. If it is "to prevent injury", then that is why women lubricate during consensual sex as well. I liken the sexual response during rape to that of being tickled. A person being tickled may very well not want to be tickled, but he or she will still be unable to keep from laughing uncontrollably when it happens. It is just what the body does when touched in a certain way. The same thing would happen to a guy if his penis is touched in certain ways. It could be completely nonconsensual, but he'll still get hard and eventually ejaculate no matter how much he may want to resist doing so. It would be ridiculous to say that his orgasm somehow shows that he wanted it.

Rape is psychologically traumatic enough, and I can only imagine how much more disturbing it must be if a woman who responded sexually to the point of orgasm doesn't understand that her body responded the way it was built to respond. It must be even worse for those who "normally cannot orgasm from vaginal sex".

BongoGal, I agree with your comments. Although as a man, I cannot image a physical response unless it was a desired action - but I don't really know what might happen physiologically.

In any event, I do hope women can allow themselves to enjoy "non-consent" fantasies without feeling there is something wrong with them. I hope we can all differentiate between consenual fantasy - and acting out in a violent or power abusive way that I think everyone agrees is wrong.

 

[suegoulding56]

I have no rape fantasies but i love been forced or pestered and talked into doing things.Me and my late husband did roleplay sometimes where he got me pinned down to the bed and i struggled etc until he removed my panties and entered me

 

[BongoGal]

...as a man, I cannot image a physical response unless it was a desired action - but I don't really know what might happen physiologically.

Do you think you can willfully resist having an erection?

 

[fireplugm]

Do you think you can willfully resist having an erection?

Ha, maybe not in a mutually consensual situation, but under duress . . . , I'd think so. But like I said, I can't say definitively, not having been through the experience. I've learned that you never really know how you are wired until you face a situation and instincts come into play. I would have never guessed women would react physically to forced situations, but apparently they do. I take that as a lesson in human psychology - not one I completely understand, but a lesson nevertheless.