Women: "What goes oooon in your mind?"

[LargoKitt]

Erotic videos that feature women masturbating are a curious thing. Most of the time, unless she is a "Harry Met Sally" actress, her 'ministrations' are pretty quiet. If I'm writing the 'interior monolog' of a female character, I'm curious about some variations about what is going on in her head. Orgasms don't always seem to be the goal; although that seems to be changing in the latest generation with access to an amazing bundle of sex toys. Is 'edging' a thing for you? How does that work? (Very few guys can do edging, although it is worth learning.) There seems to be a pretty good variety in what actually is an orgasm, or just satisfaction. Do you go for a particular kind of satisfaction? Do you want a different experience on different days? When do you need some kind of interior satisfaction (when you are on your own)? If you are with a partner who penetrates can you tell them what you need when in order to 'get it'. If you are mature, has your ability to tell your mate what you want changed over time?

Lots of questions: reflections on any of them would be helpful in depicting honest female characters in all your variety.

And guys: Let the women speak for themselves. I'm sure there are lots of "My GF tells me she loves..." Have her write about it. Might add spice to your BR.
LK

 

[SimonDoom]

Guy here, with nothing meaningful to add, except a few additional questions to throw in with the OP:

1. Do you prefer to masturbate "to" something -- video, images, stories? What kind of content? Or do you prefer to without content?
2. How long does it usually take?
3. Do you fantasize about something when you do it? What? A specific person or a situation?

 

[Erozetta]

Orgasms don't always seem to be the goal; although that seems to be changing in the latest generation with access to an amazing bundle of sex toys. Is 'edging' a thing for you? How does that work? Not specifically aiming for edging, but orgasms aren't always the goal. Sometimes it's just about exhausting my brain so I can sleep. To do that it often requires going for much longer than just an orgasm would take. When that's the goal it's slow, quiet, and methodical. Stimulation without significant pressure or speed, the aim of which is to get your brain to focus entirely on your body and what it feels rather than what your brain is wanting to think about. And sometimes it's just because slow and gentle feels good. It can be a form of meditation when the goal isn't immediate gratification, you can really center your focus on yourself, which is something a lot of women struggle to do in their daily life.


There seems to be a pretty good variety in what actually is an orgasm, or just satisfaction. Do you go for a particular kind of satisfaction? Not really. It's largely whatever gets the job done, whether that's a full blown orgasm, just reaching the satisfied stage, or just quieting my head is highly dependent on whether I'm by myself or with my husband, if I have a lot of time or just a bit, if I have access to toys or if I just have my hands available, etc.

Do you want a different experience on different days? Yes. Doing the same thing all the time gets dull. Even if it feels good physically, the mind will wander and that's generally the opposite of what I want.

When do you need some kind of interior satisfaction (when you are on your own)? Typically if I'm thinking about a particular person is the only time I want it. I don't think I've ever needed it, just wanted.

If you are with a partner who penetrates can you tell them what you need when in order to 'get it'. If you are mature, has your ability to tell your mate what you want changed over time? I've been with my husband for 22 years, if I still have to tell him what to do, I've either fucked up along the way or he's a selfish dick. Either way, I don't think we would've lasted 22 years. If I want something different, yeah, I speak up and we talk about it, then we do it. Sometimes I catch him looking up tutorials on things I've written about or mentioned casually and I find it sweet that he wants to learn about something I know he's not into. (Shibari is the most recent example of this.)


1. Do you prefer to masturbate "to" something -- video, images, stories? What kind of content? Or do you prefer to without content? Sometimes. Stories work best for me personally, videos and images don't do as much, but they can still get things started and help me focus on what I actually want. Content varies, but I generally watch women when I search out videos and images. For stories it's typically something in the reluctance field. Most of the time, no content is needed or wanted. I'd rather let the movies play in my head because those videos never take a left turn into something I'm not into.

2. How long does it usually take? To get off? Maybe 5 minutes. To finish? Typically an hour or so.

3. Do you fantasize about something when you do it? What? A specific person or a situation? Usually, yeah. It varies, sometimes it's a particular person, sometimes it's multiple particular persons in a particular scene. It almost always has some element of dominance in it.

 

[WCSGarland]

Bump.... because I really, really want to know what women think of while they masturbate. For research purposes.

 

[LoneMilf]

I think you'll get as many different answers to this as there are women willing to give their input
But I never mind contributing to 'research', so here's my take.

Orgasms as the goal: I will usually start masturbating with a clear idea about whether I'm aiming to orgasm or not. Most of the time, I prefer to just make myself aroused and maybe edge a little - this leaves me with extra energy and positivity for a while. This is also partially because I rarely have the privacy needed to use toys and video with sound etc.
I do aim for orgasm sometimes too - especially if I masturbate just before going to sleep.
Occasionally, I don't intend to orgasm, but the stimulation I'm using gets the better of me and I end up there anyway. This is rare though.

Edging: I call it edging if I bring myself to the point where it feels like I am likely to reach an orgasm if I keep going or speed up. The point where I have to slow down or distract myself to not get there. I do that a lot and it's often my main aim of masturbation. It leaves me wanting more, but also just sated enough to not need it right away.

Definition of an orgasm: I think this is not as much of a binary situation as for guys. Female orgasms are more of a spectrum and at the low end, it can be tricky to know exactly if there was an orgasm or it just felt good. And who cares anyway?

Variety: I definitely want different things on different days. But it's also very situational, dependent on what options are available to me. If I masturbate during a break in the office bathroom, I only have my fingers and need to keep quiet. If I do it at home while the children are out, I can do anything I want. Time constraints matter too.

Interior satisfaction: I own 10+ vibrators but never bothered to get a dildo. Very rarely (maybe 1-2% of the time), I will feel the need for some 'fullness' while masturbating. When that happens, one of the larger vibrators can do that too. It's never about imitating intercourse though - no need to move in or out or do it faster and faster.

Instructing my partner: I give lots of non-verbal clues about what I like and need. If my partner has to be told more directly than that, I picked the wrong one. A big part of sex is exploration and play. It's not a paint-by-numbers exercise..

Masturbation inspiration: What I masturbate to varies a lot. It can be anything from sexting to pure imagination. The simple go-to choice is porn videos - they're easily available and get the job done. If they feel too repetitive or I just want something different, stories will do too.

Duration: Somewhere between 5 and 60 minutes. Most often around 15. Again, this is very dependent on possibilities.

Fantasies: If I have some kind of external stimulus (sexting, video, stories) , I don't really fantasize beyond that. If I don't use that, I will pretty much always fantasize. It's (almost) never about specific people or situations though. It's much more vague - just shapes, actions, emotions. I'm probably an outlying on this, since most I've talked to are much more specific in their fantasies.

 

[joe_schmonyc]

What an incredibly insightful and well-written post. Thank you @LoneMilf

 

[WCSGarland]

Either all the women authors of Lit have been too busy to answer, or maybe they don't care if the guys of Lit write authentic POV of women masturbating.

 

[AG31]

Just the fantasy.

 

[WCSGarland]

Not helpful.

 

[NuclearFairy]

Orgasms don't always seem to be the goal;

It is very hard for me to actually orgasm on my own, so it is rarely the goal.

Is 'edging' a thing for you?

It is not something I've ever done to myself. Although my SO does enjoy edging me.

There seems to be a pretty good variety in what actually is an orgasm, or just satisfaction. Do you go for a particular kind of satisfaction?

I usually go for that floaty satisfied pleasure plateau that I reach before I hit an orgasm.

Do you want a different experience on different days?

Very much so, sometimes I want something gentle other times I want something rough.

If you are with a partner who penetrates can you tell them what you need when in order to 'get it'.

Yeah, my needs and desires vary so much day to day that it's necessary to incorporate what I'm in the mood for during our sexy talk.

If you are mature, has your ability to tell your mate what you want changed over time?

I've become more comfortable verbalizing.

Do you prefer to masturbate "to" something -- video, images, stories? What kind of content? Or do you prefer to without content?

Stories definitely. Content varies, sometimes I want a sweet romance, other times I want to read about a monster taking an unwilling girl, and everything in between.

How long does it usually take?

At least an hour.

Do you fantasize about something when you do it? What? A specific person or a situation?

I either fantasize about my SO, or about an imaginary girl in an impossible situation.

 

[WCSGarland]

Thank you for your response @NuclearFairy

 

[AwkwardMD]

Sometimes a "I'm a man and I want to write women" thread comes along and I think "I can contribute to that." Others I'll think "looks like some other ladies have that one covered." Every once in a while, though, I come across one that's just "ick."

This is the latter.

 

[WCSGarland]

Sometimes a "I'm a man and I want to write women" thread comes along and I think "I can contribute to that." Others I'll think "looks like some other ladies have that one covered." Every once in a while, though, I come across one that's just "ick."

This is the latter.

IOW... the "ick" factor is what is limiting the number of responses to the question?

 

[Bramblethorn]

Either all the women authors of Lit have been too busy to answer, or maybe they don't care if the guys of Lit write authentic POV of women masturbating.

A lot of women don't respond to threads like this because they tend to attract sleazy guys who are far less interested in learning to write realistic women than they are in getting wank fodder.

Don't get me wrong, a lot of the stories people post on this site are intended as wank fodder, that's what it's for. But on the forum side, a lot of authors would rather be treated as human beings than as some kind of verbal fleshlight for dudes to spooge into.

Guys who genuinely want to learn to empathise with female sexuality are probably better off looking up stories written by women and reading those stories than asking them to rehash it here.

 

[WCSGarland]

A lot of women don't respond to threads like this because they tend to attract sleazy guys who are far less interested in learning to write realistic women than they are in getting wank fodder.

Don't get me wrong, a lot of the stories people post on this site are intended as wank fodder, that's what it's for. But on the forum side, a lot of authors would rather be treated as human beings than as some kind of verbal fleshlight for dudes to spooge into.

Guys who genuinely want to learn to empathise with female sexuality are probably better off looking up stories written by women and reading those stories than asking them to rehash it here.

And instead of pointing out the stories they have written that might help the research, they just say "ick" and pass.

 

[AwkwardMD]

"the research"

 

[WCSGarland]

I get it. Ick.

 

[AwkwardMD]

Hypothetically, you're into professionals. Career women. Sharp glasses, cool under pressure. Short skirt, long jacket. In order to figure out what they masturbate to, you go to your place of business and start approaching coworkers asking about their masturbation routines, etc. Even if one or two answer you, out of social pressure or genuine exhibitionism (or whatever), this will still earn you a visit to HR.

This question would be better asked in Fetish and Sexuality. You'll get a lot of exhibitionists who would love nothing more than the opportunity to tell you all about their dirty thoughts. In the AH, though, we're writers (except for Tilan), and largely speaking we would rather be known for our writing.

 

[Bramblethorn]

And instead of pointing out the stories they have written that might help the research, they just say "ick" and pass.

Sometimes when people say "research" what they actually mean is "jerking off". When those guys show up to a thread, saying "ick" and passing early is an important time-saver.

 

[WCSGarland]

The research comment was said tongue in cheek. But that's because I am a pervert. Are you saying there are porn authors here that aren't perverts? Am I in the wrong company? Should I find somewhere else to talk about writing porn?

Well, you guys don't know me from Adam, and I don't know you guys from Adam or Eve. So, I'll just put this out there. I don't wank to anything that shows up in AH. I haven't wanked to any stories on Literotica either, even though I hear there are supposed to be fapworthy stories out there. You can believe if you want, or not. It's no skin off my back either way.

I just bagged up the trash and took the bin to the curb for pickup tomorrow. I did the dishes. According to some of the women here, that's about 30-45 minutes of foreplay I just gave to my wife. But she doesn't masturbate to it. And she doesn't fantasize about it. Such is life.

 

[AwkwardMD]

I haven't wanked to any stories on Literotica either, even though I hear there are supposed to be fapworthy stories out there.

 

[Erozetta]

And here I answered in what I thought was a clinical way thinking the actual thought process was the goal.

 

[WCSGarland]

I've also asked my wife these questions about what she thinks about while masturbating. She actually would prefer that I not be writing smut, but I think she trusts me enough to know I will not be putting anything of what she told me into any of my stories.

 

[LargoKitt]

View attachment 2458116

So there's a nice premise for a story scene or three. Tell us about it. How does reading a spicy story elide into serious jilling? Dudes like pix of bouncing bubs. For the ladies what is a phrase that really starts the engine? Is a recorded story extra hot? What voice do you want to hear? Moaning and groaning often looks silly on the page. Saying, "He began to moan and groan as her firm fingers began to coax him toward..." also reads kind of lame. So...

 

[LargoKitt]

It is very hard for me to actually orgasm on my own, so it is rarely the goal.

It is not something I've ever done to myself. Although my SO does enjoy edging me.


I usually go for that floaty satisfied pleasure plateau that I reach before I hit an orgasm.

Very much so, sometimes I want something gentle other times I want something rough.

Yeah, my needs and desires vary so much day to day that it's necessary to incorporate what I'm in the mood for during our sexy talk.

I've become more comfortable verbalizing.

Stories definitely. Content varies, sometimes I want a sweet romance, other times I want to read about a monster taking an unwilling girl, and everything in between.

At least an hour.

I either fantasize about my SO, or about an imaginary girl in an impossible situation.

"I usually go for that floaty satisfied pleasure plateau that I reach before I hit an orgasm." Thanks NuclearFairy. This is what I notice in lots of jilling videos. The woman really seems to enjoy most that 'almost' feeling. Often what she is doing can be very minimal. So one kind of wonders, is that subtle tickle really giving her enough. And many women also seem to be 'holding down tight'. Almost holding her breath, holding back any moans or groans. Its a rare woman who lets her hips get into it, in fact, there is a funny thing that happens quite a bit where her chest is flexing but her hips are glued to the bed. Pretty often the climax is pretty anticlimactic, just a sort of letting go. Since lots of women have trouble having orgasms I sometimes wonder if this is a 'Damn, I can't get it. Hope this is enough for those horndogs.' moment. Of course, these are videos she knows people will be watching, so she may be self-conscious.