Women, Scars, and Beauty

[OnlyByMoonlight]

Hi, I'm a 19 year old girl with a big problem. Due to childhood medical conditions I have four very visible scars on my body (one being from open-heart surgery so its right down the center of my chest). To add insult to injury I was allergic to the sutures they used which caused my scars to be fatter and redder. Today the redness has gone down but they are still fat, pink, and very visible since the rest of my skin is very fair. And on top of all that, I had to have a pacemaker implanted in my left shoulder and my body grew a bunch of veins around it. They are fat, blue, and clearly visible through my skin. All my life I've never seen another girl with scars like me. I've never heard it talked about. I feel like I'm the only one out there and that I'm going to repulse any man I sleep with. I just wanna know will guys really care? The one piece of feedback I've gotten about this was cruel so I'm hoping for something more positive.

 

[littlebitshe]

All of us have our imperfections so don't feel bad or insecure about your scars. They make you who you are and without them you might not be living. I think many people in your life would agree that they would much rather have your scars than to not have you around at all.

If a guy really cares about you, the scars shouldn't matter. And if a guy is a jerk about it and is bothered by them, you should just move on to a better guy.

Be confident in yourself! Good Luck Sweetie!

 

[DrHappy]

I honestly think that a nice smile and happy face is most important. If it bothers you, have you checked into getting them treated or removed in some way? I have scars on my face due to cystic acne when I was younger. I talked to a dermatologist who told me that they were too severe to be removed by dermabrasion techniques, but that they could be removed surgically. I then met a cute girl whom I later married. She assured me that it didn't matter to her.

 

[gregor2001us]

All of us have our imperfections so don't feel bad or insecure about your scars. They make you who you are and without them you might not be living. I think many people in your life would agree that they would much rather have your scars than to not have you around at all.

If a guy really cares about you, the scars shouldn't matter. And if a guy is a jerk about it and is bothered by them, you should just move on to a better guy.

Be confident in yourself! Good Luck Sweetie!

What She said!

Best wishes

 

[Dr. Dong]

My wife fell off a horse and had exploratory surgery. She is cut from the top of the abdoman all the way down to her pubic hair. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't "like" the scar but it has not hindered our sex life at all over the last 30 years. I really don't see it. All I see is her.

 

[NippleMuncher]

You are not your scars and anyone who only sees damaged skin doesn't have the depth of character worthy or your company.

 

[mjl2010]

As I just posted in another thread here, a womans beauty is not on her chest or between her legs. It comes from what's between her ears and what's in her heart.

I'd offer that, instead of letting a guy be shocked, let him know when things are going in that direction.

And like someone else said, if he can't accept your scars as part of you, and love those as much as the rest of you, then dump him and find someone who will. His loss, not yours.

Best wishes. You are young and beautiful. Enjoy life and your search for the "Perfect Man." There's a few out there, if you look hard.



MJL

 

[PertPerth]

The short answer is "no, guys won't care". Sure, you'll find a couple who care too much about looks (not just your scar...weight, what you wear, how you do your hair etc etc) but then that's not really the kind of guy you (or me or any other nice girl for that matter!) should date.

I can't remember how the topic came up (this was only a day or two ago) but I mentioned to my boyfriend something about my stretch marks. They're quite bad - still purple/red ~20 years after puberty! Anywho, my BF replied "You have stretch marks?". He's seen me nakie enough that he's seen them, so I showed him again and he just kissed me. I have other scars too, acne and a few from accidents.
I know your scars are a bit worse than that, but the point I'm trying to make is that if someone falls in love with you - then your scar will be invisible to them.

~Pert

 

[mjl2010]

I know your scars are a bit worse than that, but the point I'm trying to make is that if someone falls in love with you - then your scar will be invisible to them.

~Pert

Yeah. I was trying to say something like that.

MJL

 

[Noor]

Sweetie- when guys like you it doesn't matter, they don't care. Just look for guys who love women.

I have known guys to fall for women in the midst of their chemo treatments and marry them, when I was on crutches for TWO yrs some guys didn't even seem to notice I was on them, and or buff guys who think they are fat but the well-nourished woman with them isn't.

By the way when I was you age, my body looked like one of those science museum models that shows where your veins are. I also bruised very easily so my legs were often black and blue. Just seemed to give my lovers more excuses to kiss my legs and follow all the veins around my body. Guys sometimes do silly stuff like that

 

[simplegirl]

Ditto what everyone else said. Those scars are badges of honor. You're alive! Without them, you wouldn't be. Anyone who doesn't understand that and gets turned off by it, isn't worthy of your time.

Just disclose it on a need-to-know basis. When you see a relationship heading towards physical intimacy, mention it to your partner so they don't get startled.

If the redness and puffiness of your scar bothers you, you can also get some silicone film over the counter that helps flatten scars, reduce redness and overall make them less visible. If I'm not mistaken, I do believe one of them is called Dermastix. They work best on scars that are less than 2 years old, but will work some on all scars. Ask the pharmacist, they can help you.

 

[Noor]

Ditto what everyone else said. Those scars are badges of honor. You're alive! Without them, you wouldn't be. Anyone who doesn't understand that and gets turned off by it, isn't worthy of your time.

Just disclose it on a need-to-know basis. When you see a relationship heading towards physical intimacy, mention it to your partner so they don't get startled.

If the redness and puffiness of your scar bothers you, you can also get some silicone film over the counter that helps flatten scars, reduce redness and overall make them less visible. If I'm not mistaken, I do believe one of them is called Dermastix. They work best on scars that are less than 2 years old, but will work some on all scars. Ask the pharmacist, they can help you.

I agree with the above, you are a survivor something to be proud of, they are battle scars and you won.

You might speak to a dermatologist as well. I remember a tape I was prescribed for some scars, plus they have all sorts of new gadgets that can use to debulk them. Now is the time to do it esp if you have good insurance.
It maybe possible to do something about the veins as well.

 

[kimbernee]

They won't care. I've got some scars of my own and no one has ever cared. They'll be curious, but don't mistake that for them being bothered.

 

[paulthewetcd]

Wear Your Scars Proudly

I have many scars in very private areas. They get revealed when the time is right. I have never been rejected, although my scars have caused a few women to pause....

Be proud of who you are, your personality, disposition, and character. People will love you; and those who don't are not worthy of your love in return. Feel free to PM me if you want to. Good luck to you!

 

[bluemoonbill]

What Scars?

My SO and I have both had multiple surgeries and have the scars that accompany our operations. All of our surgery was done prior to us meeting each other so we both got to see them for the first time. Guess what, it didn't matter to either one of us......our feelings towards each other make the scars almost not noticable.

I know it's easy to say, "don't worry about it" and a lot harder to actually not worry...........but if we can share any of our experience or opinions with you, please let it be that scars and other blemishes are "superficial" and anybody who over emphasizes superficiality, is just that.........superficial. You are better than that and conversely deserve better than that.

Rest assured, you will meet the right person and/or persons.........and blemishes and/or scars won't be a problem.

Best Regards to you,

Bill

 

[Raven_Sunset]

OMG! I have practically the same thing!!!!! I've had 3 open heart surgeries..... a tracheotomy when I was a kid, and a pacemaker put in. I love my scars, they are like a badge of honor for me now. When I was younger, I was self-consious about them..... but it does'nt bother me anymore.

I've accepted that I can't change what has happened to me, and realized that the scars are a big part of who I am today. I found a wonderful man who loves me for who I am..... scarred or not, and that's priceless.

If you want to talk, don't hesitate to contact me.

 

[southernsky]

Shallow people are everywhere, but so are good people who don't care so much about the way a person's body is "supposed" to look. Now, I know that my scars are much smaller than yours, but each and every one of them is proof that I'm strong enough to have made it through that incident, and the subsequent PT/rehab work. You be proud that you're here despite your adverse conditions, and you will find a man who is just that - a man, and doesn't judge your body by impossible standards of beauty.

 

[cloudy]

My SO used to be a highrise rigger, and took a bad fall some years ago from about six stories up. He was in the hospital for close to a year, and it was never a sure thing that he'd make it.

They had to rebuild a lot of his face...tons of plastic surgeries. Even so, he's covered with scars. He's also a little overweight.

I think he's the hottest guy I've ever known, simply because I love him, and could care less about what he looks like.

Scars don't matter. What matters is you.

 

[FurryFury]

I agree with many of the other posted. If he can't see your beauty and value with scars he is more scarred inside than anyone you should wish to spend time with.

 

[raniny]

I have scars also

I have a scar on the side my belly button. It is a few inches long. I had surgery when I was 3 months old and whn I ad it done the doctor had never worked on a baby so he ended up leaving a nasty scar. I also had to have 2 C-sections with my kids. I kind of know how you feel because I can't dress the way I want because I am so self counscious of my scars. If it makes you feel better I know what you are going through.

 

[unfoundiamond]

scars...

I am a sucessful, good looking, and professional woman... and I have terrible scars.... One is from a surgery I had no choice in the matter... I was rushed onto the table and sliced open with no pain killers... just a faulty epidural from a nurse... (...a procedure I now know should be performed by a doctor...) all the pain aside they cut me in a hurry... emergency surgey tends to be like that... well I have a scar about 2 inches above my pussy and its like 4 of 5 inches long...
On top of that I took a razor to my wrists and forearms once when I really wanted to punish myself...I have to say never use a straight razor, the cuts will continue to spread, causing worse scars... I have a bit of a suicidal streak to put it nicely... which I manage like everything else... functionally..., and now the scars have faded to a silvery color... they only show in the sun... then you can see what looks like a million cat scratches... But only in direct sunlight... not at school or where I work with the public and no one knows... Which is beautiful... and I will get back to...
I also like to pick at myself... I tell you this and I have to remind you... All these scars are light... if visible... But I have had scars forever... They are a part of you and no one will see unless you allow them... so just be sure, like someone mentioned once before, you warn the person... Or wear a corset... a good cover for the abdominal reigon that can help keep you covered and be fun and sexy... You can be sexy and have scars... I am a scarred and sexy totally undercover Switch... I look like a regular person and no one knows, about my scars or my passions... Your confidence gives you the upperhand, Moonlight... Be confident in your worth. And... If your shirt is off I don't know anyone who wouldn't be looking at your breasts... and not your scars... just be like "Yeah, look what I lived through...I am here to do great things..." Even if just to yourself... It will show... I have struggled with the question "Do my scars make me ugly" and the answer I have come to is No... My scars are on me, to be a reminder, they humble me when I see them, but my Lover tells me I look the same as before I had them... that's why I think I am no less... I am wiser, stronger and strangely better for my bad expiriences...

 

[somberReality]

We all have scars. Beauty is on the inside hun. If a guy judges you from your scars, drop his ass like a bad habit.

to all of us

 

[littlebitshe]

If a guy judges you from your scars, drop his ass like a bad habit.

Well said!

 

[every_mothers_lover]

I just wanna know will guys really care?

Why are you worried about what he thinks, if you love your body and it shows, then he will also and show you how much he does

 

[StripPokerGirl]

Some guys might be jerks and leave you when they see your scars.

Other guys won't care. I have a small scar on my breast due to cystic operation, and so far, no guy has ever complained.