HARDKOREBJ
sweet southern guy
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2000
- Posts
- 2,599
is it wrong of me to want true love?i think it is out there some where.
women please read
- Thread starter HARDKOREBJ
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Bitch_Goddess
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2001
- Posts
- 938
It's not wrong of anyone to want to find love, it's almost everyone's ultimate desire. The problem comes when one looks too hard. Love is one of those things that just seems to find you when you least expect it. If all you're doing is looking, you might settle for someone who is less than the best for you because you think they are right person. It's like food shopping; you don't shop when you are hungry, because you buy lots of junk. Don't go out looking for love when you are lonely, because instead of finding something quality, you might go for the first person you see.
If you feel a desire to meet people, get involved in things in your community. Join your church's singles group, take a few classes at the local college, let your friends and family know you are interested in meeting someone. It's like a job, you have to network, sell yourself, and make sure your best qualities shine through. Don't settle for the first thing that comes your way. I am sure you are a wonderful guy with lots to offer the right girl. She will come your way soon enough. When she does, you'll know, and it will be wonderful.
I hope this helps you some. Good luck!
If you feel a desire to meet people, get involved in things in your community. Join your church's singles group, take a few classes at the local college, let your friends and family know you are interested in meeting someone. It's like a job, you have to network, sell yourself, and make sure your best qualities shine through. Don't settle for the first thing that comes your way. I am sure you are a wonderful guy with lots to offer the right girl. She will come your way soon enough. When she does, you'll know, and it will be wonderful.
I hope this helps you some. Good luck!
G
Guest
Guest
I believe in true love but lasting true love i have trouble with. Your young, you will change. Time often changes love and what we think will last forever. Hearts are decieving things. Our own the worst. I will say that the ideal exists for people. I have know couples married for 40 years and they seem delightfully happy. Of course I have no idea what their lives together were like and how many times they needed to fall back in love with each other.
I think thats the key to great relationships. They are not constant things and those of us who can fall in love with the same person over and over again are blessed. Good luck in your quest.
I think thats the key to great relationships. They are not constant things and those of us who can fall in love with the same person over and over again are blessed. Good luck in your quest.
JennyOmanHill
trying hard to be mindful
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2001
- Posts
- 11,151
True Love
I believe there is such a thing as true love.
However, I agree it is NOT something you can actively search for. Love works better when it just sneaks up on you!
I believe there is such a thing as true love.
However, I agree it is NOT something you can actively search for. Love works better when it just sneaks up on you!
G
Guest
Guest
There's love, there's romance and there's lust. The people who have been married 40 years are fortunate enough to have learned how to balance all three and understand that a relationship is also a partnership. Besides being lovers, they are friends and companions. They communicate. They talk to each other. They listen to each other. And they laugh together. They also know how to give each other space to go out into the world and a safe place to come home to.
If you think meeting someone takes work, wait until you're in the relationship! Falling in love may be like getting struck by lightening but staying in love (in a relationship) means work--sharing, understanding, compromise, sacrifice.
No one is wrong to want true love. Unfortunately, precious few people seem to deal with the responsibility of keeping that love alive and strong.
If you think meeting someone takes work, wait until you're in the relationship! Falling in love may be like getting struck by lightening but staying in love (in a relationship) means work--sharing, understanding, compromise, sacrifice.
No one is wrong to want true love. Unfortunately, precious few people seem to deal with the responsibility of keeping that love alive and strong.
Xkitten83X
Virgin
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2001
- Posts
- 23
It is out there...
I found my true love where youd least expect it. I replied to a thread (he was looking for phone sex) and when we talked... we just clicked. I wasnt out there looking.... I was just being myself and having fun. Just live your life.... when the time is right love will find you. If you look too hard you might scare it away.
I found my true love where youd least expect it. I replied to a thread (he was looking for phone sex) and when we talked... we just clicked. I wasnt out there looking.... I was just being myself and having fun. Just live your life.... when the time is right love will find you. If you look too hard you might scare it away.
CourtesanBeryl
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2001
- Posts
- 162
Oh come on...
You'll find love when you least expect it....
Well I can tell you that I haven't found love, either when I searched actively for it and when I don't search for it...
It's a question of fate, guys and girls. You either are lucky or unlucky.
The only truth is that men do not love the way women love. They look for a good fuck first and then, if ever they feel comfortable with the girl/woman, and provided they feel lonely and are looking for a "meals on wheels" kinda deal, they'll give it a try. To love and be loved (and we're not talking about lust or fantasizing her,e we're talking being a caring partner) comes at the bottom end of their priorities.
Most girls look for true love, are walking on air once they believe they have finally met their "soulmate", and fall on their nose when they realize that the man they're with doesn't really care about who they are, what they need and what they want.
Thank God, we live in a time and place where we, women, can take care of ourselves and don't have to be married to survive financially and socially!
You'll find love when you least expect it....
Well I can tell you that I haven't found love, either when I searched actively for it and when I don't search for it...
It's a question of fate, guys and girls. You either are lucky or unlucky.
The only truth is that men do not love the way women love. They look for a good fuck first and then, if ever they feel comfortable with the girl/woman, and provided they feel lonely and are looking for a "meals on wheels" kinda deal, they'll give it a try. To love and be loved (and we're not talking about lust or fantasizing her,e we're talking being a caring partner) comes at the bottom end of their priorities.
Most girls look for true love, are walking on air once they believe they have finally met their "soulmate", and fall on their nose when they realize that the man they're with doesn't really care about who they are, what they need and what they want.
Thank God, we live in a time and place where we, women, can take care of ourselves and don't have to be married to survive financially and socially!
Xkitten83X
Virgin
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2001
- Posts
- 23
okay
I agree with that somewhat. I have been with both men and women and I find that in being with another woman the love is just different. Its more about an emotional connection and less about sex. Thats the way love should be. But I hold firm in the belief that some men can and do love that way. Lets not generalize, because there are women out there who are all about the nookie.
I agree with that somewhat. I have been with both men and women and I find that in being with another woman the love is just different. Its more about an emotional connection and less about sex. Thats the way love should be. But I hold firm in the belief that some men can and do love that way. Lets not generalize, because there are women out there who are all about the nookie.
There is true love. I have many many friends who have found their version of "true love". For different people that means different things, but the true test is time, and unfortunately sometimes by the time you find the answer it's too late.
For example, four people I know. In both relationships the wives became very ill, one with cancer, one with a long term terminal illness.
Now the first couple the husband beat the wife in early years of marriage among mental abuse, etc. She left him to prove that she was an individual with rights and feelings. He went to counseling and after ten months they reunited. Years later when she became ill with cancer she required 18months of constant care. The husband showed his true colors. For eighteen months he administered medicines and bed changes at all hours, two three AM right through the entire day, when she died, he was nearly dead too. It was the hardest thing he had lived through in his life, and he did it for her. He's still alive and dating again.
The second couple had a storybook romance. Didn't fight, argued little and to everyone seemed to be the model american couple, and in fact at home there were no dark secrets. The second woman then found out that she had a long term progressive disabilitating disease. The second husband hung around until the going go rough, then he took off, abandoned his wife, his kids, the whole works.
Which one of these was true love, both, neither?
My point is, is that true love is incredibly subjective to the individual. Personally I think the divorce rate is so high, and people have such a hard time dating, because people are more spoiled than ever before. The 20th century was the ME ME ME generation. People are pickier than ever before about the most mundane things. I actually had a friend who stated "I won't date a woman smarter than me". For him love was a 36,26,36 air head who had a problem adding two pennies together, but he was happy with her.
People don't seem to look as much at the heart if they used to. There used to be a day where the underdog could win.
In a line of books of the sequel to "All I needed to know I learned in Kindergarden" that author tells a story of two brothers who married. The good looking one married a good looking woman and the toad married a toad, as he puts it. Well the good looking man and the toad of a woman died as the years passed, letting the good looking woman and the toad of a man to console each other. Secretly each had had the emotional and physical "hots" for each other for years. Well they did it. They got married. They didn't find true love well into their lives.
There's a lot of creedance to the song "You Can't Hurry Love" You'll just have to wait...it doesn't come easy...it's a game of give and take.
One more point, although love isn't going to come up and bite you in the ass everytime you go out, you still have to put yourself out there. Sitting home watching TV for the duration of the weekend will not get you dates, or help you meet people, or find true love. Be honest with yourself about yourself, find what you have to offer and market it. Much like in advertising, if people don't know about the product, they are not going to buy it. I don't think you can force the issue, but you cut yourself short if you don't even get out there. As far as myself, this year has been a dating fiasco, but I have stories to tell and I enjoyed myself, though there was no actually nookie in 2001 for me, there was still some kissing and heavy petting (any offers? lol)
Don't be a wallflower if you go out. Mix, mingle, people are pretty much the same no matter how they look. Don't worry if people are going to judge you, just go and talk, hello works great as an ice breaker.
Never go and pretend to be something your not. Most people can see through it right away. But GO. Go out and dance, for a two to ten dollar cover you can go out and get six things done for the price of one. You can dance (exercise) you can listen to music (relaxation)...you can scope all the hotties (free porn) and watch people make complete idiots of themselves, and then join them.
Don't be afraid, the fear of rejection compares relativley little to the fear of being alone forever. And remember, Ty Cobb hit .400 and he was considered a great. A good friend of mine has a theory that if you ask out a thousand girls you will most likely get 100 dates or so. He calls it the law of averages and it fits just fine with the baseball analogy.
Don't let it be too late, the longer you wait the harder it is. Go out there, just to get out, take up a hobby, something you like, bookstores with coffee shops are great, golf, different meeting groups, book clubs...hey it's like lotto, you have to be in it to win it.
Hang in there and keep your spirits up, patience is a virtue. Life is relatively short, so make the most of your time, but be patient.
When love seems to come along, don't be in an all fired hurry to get to the altar or to make a big point of how much you love them, fastest way to scare someone off. Take it easy, eat a little, drink a little and be merry, because merry is attractive.
I would far rather date a happy plain person than an ugly emotioned attractive one. Find out what your definitive criteria are for someone that you can spend your life with. If your list is more concerned with physical characteristics and material things, crumple it up and start over again. Don't worry about the physicals, your eyes will decide for you, rather concentrate on the intangible essences that complete you.
Good luck and I hope that true love finds all of you soon, no one should be alone.
For example, four people I know. In both relationships the wives became very ill, one with cancer, one with a long term terminal illness.
Now the first couple the husband beat the wife in early years of marriage among mental abuse, etc. She left him to prove that she was an individual with rights and feelings. He went to counseling and after ten months they reunited. Years later when she became ill with cancer she required 18months of constant care. The husband showed his true colors. For eighteen months he administered medicines and bed changes at all hours, two three AM right through the entire day, when she died, he was nearly dead too. It was the hardest thing he had lived through in his life, and he did it for her. He's still alive and dating again.
The second couple had a storybook romance. Didn't fight, argued little and to everyone seemed to be the model american couple, and in fact at home there were no dark secrets. The second woman then found out that she had a long term progressive disabilitating disease. The second husband hung around until the going go rough, then he took off, abandoned his wife, his kids, the whole works.
Which one of these was true love, both, neither?
My point is, is that true love is incredibly subjective to the individual. Personally I think the divorce rate is so high, and people have such a hard time dating, because people are more spoiled than ever before. The 20th century was the ME ME ME generation. People are pickier than ever before about the most mundane things. I actually had a friend who stated "I won't date a woman smarter than me". For him love was a 36,26,36 air head who had a problem adding two pennies together, but he was happy with her.
People don't seem to look as much at the heart if they used to. There used to be a day where the underdog could win.
In a line of books of the sequel to "All I needed to know I learned in Kindergarden" that author tells a story of two brothers who married. The good looking one married a good looking woman and the toad married a toad, as he puts it. Well the good looking man and the toad of a woman died as the years passed, letting the good looking woman and the toad of a man to console each other. Secretly each had had the emotional and physical "hots" for each other for years. Well they did it. They got married. They didn't find true love well into their lives.
There's a lot of creedance to the song "You Can't Hurry Love" You'll just have to wait...it doesn't come easy...it's a game of give and take.
One more point, although love isn't going to come up and bite you in the ass everytime you go out, you still have to put yourself out there. Sitting home watching TV for the duration of the weekend will not get you dates, or help you meet people, or find true love. Be honest with yourself about yourself, find what you have to offer and market it. Much like in advertising, if people don't know about the product, they are not going to buy it. I don't think you can force the issue, but you cut yourself short if you don't even get out there. As far as myself, this year has been a dating fiasco, but I have stories to tell and I enjoyed myself, though there was no actually nookie in 2001 for me, there was still some kissing and heavy petting (any offers? lol)
Don't be a wallflower if you go out. Mix, mingle, people are pretty much the same no matter how they look. Don't worry if people are going to judge you, just go and talk, hello works great as an ice breaker.
Never go and pretend to be something your not. Most people can see through it right away. But GO. Go out and dance, for a two to ten dollar cover you can go out and get six things done for the price of one. You can dance (exercise) you can listen to music (relaxation)...you can scope all the hotties (free porn) and watch people make complete idiots of themselves, and then join them.
Don't be afraid, the fear of rejection compares relativley little to the fear of being alone forever. And remember, Ty Cobb hit .400 and he was considered a great. A good friend of mine has a theory that if you ask out a thousand girls you will most likely get 100 dates or so. He calls it the law of averages and it fits just fine with the baseball analogy.
Don't let it be too late, the longer you wait the harder it is. Go out there, just to get out, take up a hobby, something you like, bookstores with coffee shops are great, golf, different meeting groups, book clubs...hey it's like lotto, you have to be in it to win it.
Hang in there and keep your spirits up, patience is a virtue. Life is relatively short, so make the most of your time, but be patient.
When love seems to come along, don't be in an all fired hurry to get to the altar or to make a big point of how much you love them, fastest way to scare someone off. Take it easy, eat a little, drink a little and be merry, because merry is attractive.
I would far rather date a happy plain person than an ugly emotioned attractive one. Find out what your definitive criteria are for someone that you can spend your life with. If your list is more concerned with physical characteristics and material things, crumple it up and start over again. Don't worry about the physicals, your eyes will decide for you, rather concentrate on the intangible essences that complete you.
Good luck and I hope that true love finds all of you soon, no one should be alone.
