WOMEN... lost your sex drive?

[THROBBS]

Oh, either sex, yes.

Sorry Throbbs - maybe I don't belong in this thread. I lose interest, but never drive.

Doesn't mean you can't be here.

 

[GentleSub_Ivy]

Yes, it can be a compound/complex issue. It's easy to say a person should take logical steps A, B, and C, but there is also the emotional factor to take into consideration. Maybe there is guilt in not pleasing a partner that turns into resentment and making them out to be the bad guy for wanting sex. Or there could be a myriad of other factors.

I am curious about the issue of not wanting an orgasm. Do you know this about her for sure? I think someone else brought this up but sometimes it is just easier to do it myself (in fact most times it is).

 

[THROBBS]

Yes, it can be a compound/complex issue. It's easy to say a person should take logical steps A, B, and C, but there is also the emotional factor to take into consideration. Maybe there is guilt in not pleasing a partner that turns into resentment and making them out to be the bad guy for wanting sex. Or there could be a myriad of other factors.

I am curious about the issue of not wanting an orgasm. Do you know this about her for sure? I think someone else brought this up but sometimes it is just easier to do it myself (in fact most times it is).

Did I say this was about someone I know?
I cannot "know for sure"... but I know that is what I have been told.

"Once is month is more than enough" (for an O... which could be achieved solo)

 

[Katyusha]

Wondering...
any thoughts on causes of one thing vs symptoms?
For example: being obese MIGHT lead to insomnia and stress which might cause more stress which all together might diminish sex drive...or whatever.

I would guess that most women on LIT have at least a minimal interest in sex. There might be some disenchantment with current partner in some cases, which is worth discussing too, but I see that as different than a lack of any desire for orgasm.

My problems relate to birth control pills and problems with my self-image. I can't stand my body no matter how many times my husband tells me I'm too hot for him when I'm naked, or other men tell me or my husband that I'm just plain hot (or "eye candy" as one guy said at a party recently ::grumble:.

I have a desire for sex, an interest in sex, but it's not what it was and that "slow-down" (for lack of a better term) coincided with my going on bc pills. I've had image problems for almost ten years now though.

Orgasms that come from my own handiwork feel empty somehow, so it's not the orgasms I'm interested in, but rather the connection I get from making love. Honestly, the physical pleasure is secondary to me.

I must be weird.

 

[GentleSub_Ivy]

Did I say this was about someone I know?
I cannot "know for sure"... but I know that is what I have been told.

"Once is month is more than enough" (for an O... which could be achieved solo)

Ooops sorry. didn't mean to imply......

 

[GentleSub_Ivy]

My problems relate to birth control pills and problems with my self-image. I can't stand my body no matter how many times my husband tells me I'm too hot for him when I'm naked, or other men tell me or my husband that I'm just plain hot (or "eye candy" as one guy said at a party recently ::grumble:.

I have a desire for sex, an interest in sex, but it's not what it was and that "slow-down" (for lack of a better term) coincided with my going on bc pills. I've had image problems for almost ten years now though.

Orgasms that come from my own handiwork feel empty somehow, so it's not the orgasms I'm interested in, but rather the connection I get from making love. Honestly, the physical pleasure is secondary to me.

I must be weird.

Not weird at all.

 

[THROBBS]

Not weird.

Part of why I am started the thread at all.

Just want to hear from others.

 

[SensualCealy]

Related to my last post, I think it was my last one, if someone is paying attention to me, making me feel all the things a husband/partner should, the sex drive would excalate.
C

 

[Stella_Omega]

No one has mentioned antidepressants-- Seritonin re-uptake blockers will destroy your sex drive. Zoloft-- I took it for six months, and regained my drive three years later. Which was tough on me, as my sexuality is a big part of my identity-- and tough on The Old man, as you can imagine. And my GF, who went and found herself a serious relationship during that time, and I surely don't blame her! (and they are still together, so it's all good)

There are solutions to this problem nowadays, though. And as one woman said, it can be worth it, if the depression is bad enough. She said; "I've been depressed and orgasmic for years."

But fatigue makes me horny.

 

[THROBBS]

No one has mentioned antidepressants-- Seritonin re-uptake blockers will destroy your sex drive. Zoloft-- I took it for six months, and regained my drive three years later. Which was tough on me, as my sexuality is a big part of my identity-- and tough on The Old man, as you can imagine. And my GF, who went and found herself a serious relationship during that time, and I surely don't blame her! (and they are still together, so it's all good)

There are solutions to this problem nowadays, though. And as one woman said, it can be worth it, if the depression is bad enough. She said; "I've been depressed and orgasmic for years."

But fatigue makes me horny.

Thanks STella!
tough to balance all that.

As BEING depressed also can be a libido killer.
Different anti depressants have different effects on different folk.

I take Celexa...and have been as horny as I have ever been.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Thanks STella!
tough to balance all that.

As BEING depressed also can be a libido killer.
Different anti depressants have different effects on different folk.

I take Celexa...and have been as horny as I have ever been.

Wellbutrin was my magic bullet

And a wonderful side-effect-- it's a rather "speedy" drug, and like all speeds, tends to make one a little... selfish. Selfishness in bed is a good thing-- it can pep up a 30-year marriage something fierce!

 

[MissLeah88]

Wish I had a woman to help my sex drive today
I'm rearing to go!

 

[Just-Legal]

Thank you.
Depression is a very complex and serious affliction.
I hope you are able to eliminate or minimize that in your life.

At the moment its being beaten back by Stress. Its so bad right now my hair is falling out in clumps.

I know once that stops the dark demon will be at my door.

 

[McKenna]

Wondering...
Has your libido diminished... or vanished?
If so... or if you know a such a woman ... or are married to such a woman...
What do you think are some of the factors?
Naturally diminished hormones.
Artificially altered hormones (eg. birth control pills)
Weight. (too much too little)..
smoking.
drinking
chocolate
Stress.
stress ABOUT weight
general self image.
insomnia.
...

any thoughts on causes of one thing vs symptoms?
For example: being obese MIGHT lead to insomnia and stress which might cause more stress which all together might diminish sex drive...or whatever.

I would guess that most women on LIT have at least a minimal interest in sex. There might be some disenchantment with current partner in some cases, which is worth discussing too, but I see that as different than a lack of any desire for orgasm.

What about physically fit, attractive men, who –for all intent and purposes– seem normal, but have no sex drive whatsoever? I mean, not even a wank?!

What causes that?

Are some people born without a sex drive?

To answer your question, Throbbs, I've only ever lost my sex drive when I've been terribly sick, or in the first few months after starting anti-depressants.

I seriously think some folks don't have sex not because they have poor self image, but simply because they feel it requires too much effort, and they're selfish. Either that or they enjoy "withholding" sexual favors because it gives them a sense of power and control over their partner.

My 2¢.

 

[McKenna]

Wellbutrin was my magic bullet

Effexor was mine! (Though Cymbalta works just the same. )

 

[rgraham666]

No one has mentioned antidepressants-- Seritonin re-uptake blockers will destroy your sex drive. Zoloft-- I took it for six months, and regained my drive three years later. Which was tough on me, as my sexuality is a big part of my identity-- and tough on The Old man, as you can imagine. And my GF, who went and found herself a serious relationship during that time, and I surely don't blame her! (and they are still together, so it's all good)

There are solutions to this problem nowadays, though. And as one woman said, it can be worth it, if the depression is bad enough. She said; "I've been depressed and orgasmic for years."

But fatigue makes me horny.

And that effect can change. And get strange. I restarted my Paxil a couple of weeks ago.

My sex drive seems to be down a bit. But I've become anorgasmic. I can get excited just fine. Can't come to save my life.

That may be because I've been really bored with what I usually fire my libido with.

Perhaps I should make an effort to start writing again.

 

[Guest]

I seriously think some folks don't have sex not because they have poor self image, but simply because they feel it requires too much effort, and they're selfish. Either that or they enjoy "withholding" sexual favors because it gives them a sense of power and control over their partner.

My 2¢.

Does not that game go both ways? Sometimes people get bored with what is readily available, and they desperately need that which is withheld...

I heard many a man say of a woman: "she's such a doormat I don't even want to step in it."

And what is on the other side? A woman who gave what she had.

Maharat

 

[impressive]

Wellbutrin was my magic bullet

And a wonderful side-effect-- it's a rather "speedy" drug, and like all speeds, tends to make one a little... selfish. Selfishness in bed is a good thing-- it can pep up a 30-year marriage something fierce!

Gawd, that turned me on.

 

[THROBBS]

What about physically fit, attractive men, who –for all intent and purposes– seem normal, but have no sex drive whatsoever? I mean, not even a wank?!

What causes that?

Are some people born without a sex drive?

To answer your question, Throbbs, I've only ever lost my sex drive when I've been terribly sick, or in the first few months after starting anti-depressants.

I seriously think some folks don't have sex not because they have poor self image, but simply because they feel it requires too much effort, and they're selfish. Either that or they enjoy "withholding" sexual favors because it gives them a sense of power and control over their partner.

My 2¢.

Thanks McK.

Need.
another thread for some of that!
I imagine that everyone is "born" (gonna have) with different levels... and thta can CHANGE. < The CHANGE is more the issue I am getting at.

A LOSS of LIBIDO and the causes. "withholding" is another (related) issue.
Though I read : "the person ina sexual relationship with the lower desire, controls sex." < (another thread I think).

 

[Guest]

Thanks McK.

Need.
another thread for some of that!
I imagine that everyone is "born" (gonna have) with different levels... and thta can CHANGE. < The CHANGE is more the issue I am getting at.

A LOSS of LIBIDO and the causes. "withholding" is another (related) issue.
Though I read : "the person ina sexual relationship with the lower desire, controls sex." < (another thread I think).

I read that the constriction of blood flow of arterial disease starts years earlier than the symptoms, and that it affects a man's functioning.

He still has enough to get it "up" but the blood down there does so many more things. Does libido have a physical component?

Maharat

 

[McKenna]

Does not that game go both ways? Sometimes people get bored with what is readily available, and they desperately need that which is withheld...

I heard many a man say of a woman: "she's such a doormat I don't even want to step in it."

And what is on the other side? A woman who gave what she had.

Maharat

Huh. Excellent point. I'll have to think on that some more. People. Such fickle folks, eh? "I don't want what I have, I want what I can't have." Oy vey.

 

[THROBBS]

Huh. Excellent point. I'll have to think on that some more. People. Such fickle folks, eh? "I don't want what I have, I want what I can't have." Oy vey.

There is something I want.
I just cannot put my finger on it.

or my lips.




or my tongue.



or my cock.