Witty

[Carmenica Diaz]

Say something witty.

Amuse me and yourself.

Plus a gazillion lurkers will read your quips.

How could you refuse?

 

[zeb1094]

Say something witty.

Amuse me and yourself.

Plus a gazillion lurkers will read your quips.

How could you refuse?

Pick a lane dickhead!

 

[MichelleLovesTo]

Say something witty.

Amuse me and yourself.

Plus a gazillion lurkers will read your quips.

How could you refuse?

::Suffers Performance Anxiety/Stage Fright and runs off.::

 

[carsonshepherd]

My comedy is more situational. If I had a good set-up I could wow you with my wit, but coming up with something really good off the cuff, not so much.

 

[zeb1094]

Pick a lane dickhead!

I meant this to be a witty reply to someone who decides to use two lanes on the Interstate.

'Pick a lane dickhead.' is nicer than 'Move the fuck over shithead!'

I know when I say it in the car the wife always chuckles.

 

[Carmenica Diaz]

I know when I say it in the car the wife always chuckles.

I don’t know whether to emphasise or sympathise with her.

My comedy is more situational. If I had a good set-up I could wow you with my wit, but coming up with something really good off the cuff, not so much.

Does wit have to equal humour? Where's Oscar Wilde when one requires him?

::Suffers Performance Anxiety/Stage Fright and runs off.::

Just imagine your audience is naked. This is lit - they probably are naked!

 

[TheEarl]

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

The Earl

 

[Carmenica Diaz]

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

The Earl

Yes, witty but not what I call an APJ.

 

[zeb1094]

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

The Earl

And then there was the one about the dyslexic ballplayer who kept hitting the catcher in the face with the bat.

 

[Carmenica Diaz]

And then there was the one about the dyslexic ballplayer who kept hitting the catcher in the face with the bat.

I'm afraid I don't understand that one.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Does wit have to equal humour? Where's Oscar Wilde when one requires him?

Oscar's didn't, but mine generally does.

 

[zeb1094]

I'm afraid I don't understand that one.

You would have to understand American Baseball.

 

[Carmenica Diaz]

You would have to understand American Baseball.

I'm afraid I don't really understand cricket so baseball hasn't a hope.

 

[yui]

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

I think that whenever I see teenagers.

 

[yui]

I think that whenever I see teenagers.

Try too hard, don't they?


Witty #2: War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

 

[zeb1094]

Try too hard, don't they?


Witty #2: War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

Winning the War also determines who is going to be able to write the history of the war.

 

[NoJo]

I'm shitarsed drunk on cheap red wine. How's that for witty, you cunts

 

[yui]

I'm shitarsed drunk on cheap red wine. How's that for witty, you cunts

Just glancing at your post, I thought you were "sharkassed" drunk. Stunning, Joe. Just stunning.

 

[NoJo]

My razor-sharp wit is no match for the stubble of your irony.

 

[yui]

My razor-sharp wit is no match for the stubble of your irony.

Edited for lack of wit.

 

[Carmenica Diaz]

Winning the War also determines who is going to be able to write the history of the war.

Sad but true. Not witty.

 

[NoJo]

Edited for lack of wit.

Much sexier now.

 

[NoJo]

Sad but true. Not witty.

As the thread starter, I guess you have the right to be the judge, in which case I will attempt to think of some shoe-themed wit.

 

[yui]

Much sexier now.

Yeah, when you're pissy I just smile a great deal imagine you wearing nothing but go-go boots and yesterday's stubble. Can't match wits with you.