WIP Foster Lover
- Thread starter Darksage
- Start date
SweetErika
Fingers Crossed
- Joined
- Apr 27, 2004
- Posts
- 13,442
General things...
The underage thing is a problem at Lit, and for a lot of us personally. You can mention sex, but can't go into detail or make it arousing in any way. I'd suggest making everyone 18+ NOW, before the mod gets to it. You could easily make him 18, living with his foster family while he finishes high school.
You also need to break up the paragraphs to reduce eyestrain and improve readability. I try to keep mine under 6 lines on the forums and in stories, as a guide.
I'm newer to this forum, but SDC gives more in-depth criticism than Story Feedback. You have to read the stickies, review two pieces here, and get in the queue in order to get those reviews. I'm guessing the moderator will move this to SF, which is probably more of what you're looking for at this time, anyway. If you're considering publishing on Lit, you may want to come back here after you've gotten feedback, edited and before submitting it.
The underage thing is a problem at Lit, and for a lot of us personally. You can mention sex, but can't go into detail or make it arousing in any way. I'd suggest making everyone 18+ NOW, before the mod gets to it. You could easily make him 18, living with his foster family while he finishes high school.
You also need to break up the paragraphs to reduce eyestrain and improve readability. I try to keep mine under 6 lines on the forums and in stories, as a guide.
I'm newer to this forum, but SDC gives more in-depth criticism than Story Feedback. You have to read the stickies, review two pieces here, and get in the queue in order to get those reviews. I'm guessing the moderator will move this to SF, which is probably more of what you're looking for at this time, anyway. If you're considering publishing on Lit, you may want to come back here after you've gotten feedback, edited and before submitting it.
Ishikari_Dash
Loves Spam
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2006
- Posts
- 81
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