Wild Wild West (for Grail)

[Chalintra]

As I´ve promised, here you are.

Living in the West can be brutal and harsh. Living in the west makes a girl loose her beauty and charms within weeks to survive. Those had been the sentences I´ve heared a hundred times, but they didn´t stop me from going.
The war had robbed my familys lifes, my home, my friends, my virginity, my everything. But one thing it couldn´t steal. My will to survive.
I´ve lost every tear I had for the whole time of my life to come and as I finished crying over the ashes I set my way to the west.
There are many women trying to find a man out there, marry and live the life of a farmers wife. Those are the women who loose their charms first. I do not want to be like those. Then there are the girls who want to marry a shopkeeper and live a life in those tiny wooden shags that make up their so called citys. They keep their good looks and charms a bit longer. I do not want to be like them too.
Then, there are the girls that live by their beauty and charms. Girls that make the men pay for each and every thing they do to them. The girls who make the men do something to them as often as possible. These girls keep their charms and good looks, as they live by them alone. But living this way means dying inside. I am already dead inside, so this is the way I´m going to live.

One more tiny little town somewhere in the middle of nowhere. A flock of hard working men, adventurers, outlaws and puritanistic idiots who have choosen this place even god doesn´t remember. I have choosen it too, at least for a week or two. Compared to the other women wearing their work-stained dull grey clothing I am the sun amongst the tiny stars, shining too bright for them to be seen any more. Like the moths to the flame their men gather around me, touch me, burn and loose their money.
The moth that dances around me most feverishly is this Sherrif. He hasn´t lost his good looks and his charms jet. He must be dead inside too. Dead and ready to burn in my flame too.

 

[Grail]

((OOC: Never played a sherrif before *grin*))

Four bottles of beer sat there in front of me, each one reminding me of why I drink them to begin with...Jim, Sandy, Candice....and the largest bottle of them all: Rachel. Each of them representing the only thing in my life I had anything to live for, anything that was remotely close to being gentle in the west, the only things in my life that made me a man...gone...just like the bottles sitting in front of my blarred vision. Everything was so right in my life for the longest time, I was going to die a happy man, I had a purpose...I guess I got my wish...the man I once was died on the same night they were taken from me.

That night I learned that demons were alive, that monstrosities walked and talked among us...but I also learned that they were not impervious to revolvers, knives, daggers....anything that could kill a normal man. Each of those nightmares died a painful...inhumane death, and they should...no human could have done what they had done to my life...my reason for living...

So now I sit here, at the nice little saloon where women with no self respect, no dignity work for a few coins from men like me...My blue eyed gaze was empty inside as I looked across to watch the newest woman work, well I shouldn't necessarily say new, she's been around for a few days...I've never had the woman though, the sight of her is too painful...she reminds me too much of HER. I caught her looking towards my way and instantly I looked back at those empty bottles, my family...everything in me gone...dead.

 

[Chalintra]

The saloon in question was a small one, just like most of them. A few pictures and hunting trophys adorning the walls, tables, the bar, lot´s of used and reused botles in a shelf, filled with various alcoholics, a small mirror. Aweful.
At this early time the room wasn´t as crowded as it will be when the sun set´s to rest, a few customers only. Poor boys they are. So I set my sight on this lonely warden, the custos, the main problem each of those towns come up with when the women have noticed that their men might be interested in me.
This place was almost finished, most of the men had payed their fortunes to stay with me once or twice, so there was no need to play with this kind of fire. Sometimes, given the chance, I´ve payed special attentions to sherrifs without charging a fee, that can make life much more easy, at least for some time.
But this one was another kind of shoe. He was interesting. You might say that this is nothing special, but to a girl like me it is. Once you know enough men, they lost everything you´ve thought that´s interesting about them before. The sherrif had something special that tingles my curiousity, a secret may be, but one much better hidden than usual. It´s a secret about girls, as his eyes betray him. They always do. Almost no man is able to hide his thoughts well enough that his eyes don´t betray him.

Without asking for permission I take a seat next to him.
I dont say a word, just give him time to realize I´m near. Amongst the stale stench of sweat, beer and wood he will notice my perfume, his eyes will find my female assets, long legs, curved hips, a bosom to drown in between and the face of an lost angel, as they ar poorly hidden. Smile a smile that tells him I don´t want a drink but some company.
This will be the kind of trap such men fall victim to.

 

[Grail]

I had watched the woman for a few more moments of my time before I closed my eyes, the alcohol that I had consumed now taking its effect on my mind, and on my body. Thankfully the saloon had become a lot more quieter than it once was, and taht would allow me the time to sleep off any bad memories that I had pounding in my brain. This town was a lot more calm now, thanks to me...the things I had done were not honorable at all, but they had to be done. If I had just let things go by, I would have lost my sanity, along with my life.

My eyes shifted open when I felt something sit down next to me. I rolled my eyes to the side to catch a glimpse of the woman beside me, the one that reminded me of all I lost in a blink of an eye. I caught her smile out of the corner of my eye, and I knew what she wanted, but I was not about to allow myself that kind of pain. "Forget it...I don't have any cash." I said, my voice a sound similar to sandpaper rubbing up against skin...rough...deep...dark. I didn't turn to her again, just sat there, looking at those four bottles once again and wishing that things were different, that my life did not turn out this way...the woman's smell even reminded me of Her.

 

[Chalintra]

"Have I ever mentioned money?"

Her voice drifting through the air as a whispered promise, a voice that you´d be able to hear from a miles distance, a promise unspoken, a challenge never made. All the pain and glory a girl can bring is whispered within this voice, secrets told and secret´s never heared of, things to come and things that should never be.

One of her fingers appears to your view as she runs her nails up and down of a bottles neck, just as if she wanted to please a lover, alluring and teasing just as her voice, but as dangerous as a black widow as her lithe fingers look as if they could break the bottles neck with frightening ease.

 

[Grail]

I would not be impressed with what the woman had to offer, not to deny her the fact that she is indeed quite beautiful, but the fact that she was a doppleganger of my past love...a close, but not exact match of what my life revolved around sickened me to the point where I thought I would be physically ill. She was turning my wife...my everything into some cheap whore, and I didn't know if this woman sitting next to me was a demon as well, it sure seemed like it at the time.

Then again, she could just be another woman trying to make her way in this world...it's not her fault her face, her hair, her eyes...all remind me of what I had lost. My cold features remained on that bottle that she was stroking so professionally, eyelids soon closing in a state of disgust I could hardly describe...there was something about her though, the way she carried herself...it was unlike any normal wench I've seen in a long time.

"Tell me, what is your name?" I asked without looking at her, my voice still as hard as stone, and as cold as ice.

 

[Chalintra]

"Amelie."

Just a word, only a name, but it souns like hallowing from a grave, a remedy of long lost times and treasures, the haunting hiss of a ghost. For sure it´s her real name as it´s been spoken with a voice from the past. So many names she has told to the men who´d asked her, none had been true, but this one is.

Why doesn´t she lie? All the whores do, they are all ashamed of what they do in the end, so none of them betrayes her own identity to this kind of purgatory. But she does.

There is only one possibility left. She´s got nothing to loose, there are no meanings left for her to strive for, nothing to mask and hide. She´s true as only a lost soul can be. She´s a present, not only a toy like the whores you´ve met before. She´s the one who can take every mans suffering upon her, the one to spend true absolution.

Amelie. The name of everything that´s been lost and the name of the scapegoat that will take upon it the punishment for every scar that a women will leave upon a mans heart.

 

[Grail]

Her name was the only breath of fresh air that she had given me in the few moments that we had shared together. Her scent was making my head swim, and made my stomach turn for it was the same fragnance my love wore quite often. I took a deep breath of air and looked down towards the floor, my eyes still closed so that I didn't have to take in her image, even though I am dead inside, I still hurt so much everyday.

I decided that I needed to be a man about this, the woman was only trying to make some money, make a living in this piss-poor town, who was I to deny her even that. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a few coins, each of them the purest of gold. "Here...a couple gold pieces should do it...right?" I asked, my voice still a little rough from all the alcohol I had consumed today. Whoever this woman was, she was unlike any whore that I had met so far in my days alone, and the way she carried herself...it was as if she was an angel in hell...and that for the most part, scared the hell out of me.

Finally my eyes traveled up her legs, then her waist, over her ample chest and to her face, the same fact that was haunting my dreams ever since I died...I had to wonder if she was dead inside like I was as well...

 

[Chalintra]

"The sweet soft glinting of gold, unrivalled, responsible to the joy of uncounted wealthy people and the horrible death of even more. Just tell me, what do you really want to buy with those?"

Her finger had ceased caressing the neck of the bottle and now you can feel her eyes resting upon you. She hasn´t grabbed the money and caressed you like almost each and every women would have. No, her eyes are looking for an answer, trying to pierce right through the iron armour your heart is wearing, searching, making you feel as naked as a new born baby.

"Have you already died to get these? May be, but if there´s a spark of life left, and it looks just like this, then it´s more than enough to make me revive it. "

Possibilitys came to mind, some brighter than the sun, others darker than the deepest night. Brooding above this unspeakable opportunitys life makes a twist once more.

Outside of the saloon the shuffling of hurried steps can be heared, voices shouting in fear and nervousness. "He´s back! Hurry! Get those children off the street!"
Once again, the same sounds, sounds you´ve heared much too often.
"Slinger Jack!"
Omar, the shopkeeper had appeared from the main street in the saloons door, shouted this name and dropped, smashed to the floor in an unnatural jerked position. The thunder of a gun had put an end to the message he had wanted to say and an end to his life.

 

[Grail]

When our eyes finally met, I think I did feel my heart stop a little, but then all those feelings were shoved down once again...you were not her, maybe in body, but not in mind or spirit. Things about you were different, that was for sure...the bottle being stroked, the way you were looking at me---no...your eyes are different than the people that usually work this place. I shoved my coins back in my pocket with a shrug, and started to speak to you once more. "I want to buy back the past...." Is all I said, and moved to sit back before I heard the name called out...

Then sat right back up, a grumble coming from my lips as the man burst through the saloon door, only to fall to the floor with a bullet in his back. Without another word I silently stood from where I was sitting, and began to move out towards the entrance of the saloon, you forgotten about for a moments time, only for the fact punishment needed to be delt. I stepped towards the door and exited the saloon, six-shooter drawn out and held foward towards the street, looking for anything that even hinted at dangerous.

 

[Chalintra]

The scene that followed has happened before all too often. There are men that live by the fear they cause in others, alive because they kill. If they stay alive long enough they start to believe that everyone will fear them, getting bold and boost themselves with their evil deeds, spitting insults against their opponents, awaiting an easy kill as they usually turn and flee.
Slinger Jack is one of those creatures, wicked, evil, dirty and ugly as a fart, someone who´d shot at a dozen or more men to get a reputation as a mercyless killer.
This time, he hasn´t thought about the fact that a man who´s already dead won´t fear him.
Unlike most of the storys that will be told in the future, Slingers end wasn´t a glorious one, no bravery or even heroism can be found in the way he died.
He was still shouting abuse against the lonely sherrif stepping out of the saloon, coming up closer as he noticed the fact that this man wasn´t a trembling coward.
By the time Slinger knew that it would be better to run his brain was already ruined by a bullet, as well as his lung was pierced two times and he hadn´t even raised his gun. The last thing Slinger felt was that his bladder emptied in to his trousers and he died as dirty as he´d lived.
It´s been over mere seconds after the sherrif had set his foot upon the dirt of the street.
Then, there was this moment of eternity. Time slows down to a mere tickle when you notice something you shouldn´t have overlooked.
This man next to the saloons door, suddenly you know you´ve never seen him, you know that he´s got a gun in his hand, you know that it is too late to turn and shoot, too late to save your life.
Then, you hear the crackling thunder of a shot, but there isn´t any pain. Had he missed you? Swivelling on your heels you take the chance, bringing your own weapon to bear at the foreigner.
Then you can see him crouching, stumbling, falling over.
Right next to him there is this strange girl, a smoking little Derringer in her hand.

"So you bought some future as you haven´t payed me."

 

[Grail]

When I emerged out into the street, the gunman that had shot the lowely shopkeeper was spitting out useless threats, words that didn't even matter to me, but seemed to affect everyone else. It was sickening, knowing that this one man could cause people to run, made me think that these people didn't really need a sheriff, they needed a babysitter. Then again, this was the job that I had taken, and this is the job I'll die doing, all a matter of time when.

Speaking of time, the moment Slinger Jack stopped his cocky, idiotic phrases, and put on a face that showed me he was concerned, my finger was already pulling the trigger multiple times, watching his body jerk just as many times. I rolled my eyes, getting tired of some moron just coming into my town and thinking that they will be able to just do as they want....that's when it hit me that Slinger Jack wasn't alone.

I turned towards the man as fast as I could, unable to believe that a bad guy had the nerve not to gloat, or anything such as that before killing me, just didn't seem right. When I heard the crack of gunfire, I thought it was over, that I'd finally be able to see my family again, the people I loved...but then that dream was crushed when I saw the man huddled onto the ground, then drop dead. I swung my gun around towards the voice and was about to pull the trigger, then stopped...seeing her, no you.

Upon listening to your little message, I took a deep breath and dropped my arm, the gun going back into its holster. "Thanks..." Is all I said in that low tone of voice I had come to adopt over the months, years...decades...I didn't even have a concept of time now, or any future. "I don't have a future...and from the way you shot that gun, neither do you..."

 

[Chalintra]

The girl looked at the man she´d shot with disgust, not the way you´d look at a dying man but at a pile of smelly rubbish.

"Isn´t this just a tool? How can the way I use it tell about the future?"
She gave you a smile, a gentle one, friendly and warm.

"It´s been my fault, so I had to lend a hand. I had stolen away some edge of your concentration as I made your mind bother with the past at the time it should have been in the present. So what else could I do?"

There wasn´t much time left for conversation, as the people of the little city gathered around the dead outlaws like ugly buzzing flys. Now, as the men were no thread to them any more they showed their true nature, shouting the same abuse at the corpses as they had done before to them.

"So you have no real cause to risk your life for their sake?"

It´s just like she´s cutting through the veils that had shrouded your grief from foreign eyes with a knife sharp as hell. Sure she must know that she´s playing around with a very dangerous kind of fire.
But she does anyway. Why??

 

[Grail]

Luckily for you, my temper wasn't one that could be ignited by just a few words, or actions...it all had to be specific things that would easily make me enraged, make me...kill. What you were saying was only a slight annoyance, and as I entered the tavern again, I didn't really choose a lot of words to describe what I do, and why I do it.

"First off...you shot him with no fear...only the dead can do that, secondly, you didn't have to help me, there was nothing you brought up, and thirdly, I frankly only want to see the evil men die."

I entered back into the tavern and took my seat in front of my bottles, only after grabbing a fresh one from the bar of course. I started to slowly drink it down, trying now harder than ever to wash that woman's face from my memories, it hurt too much to imagine the only woman I ever loved; was now just a woman that allowed men to use her body...well, in body at least.

 

[Chalintra]

"So well than, why dont we go up to this graveyard and get burried?"
She wasn´t that dead and the slight fury she felt showed in her voice. She knew, at least she thought she knew, that she´d been right with her words and that this sherrif would be dead for real if she hadn´t helped. Poor men. Most of the time their useless pride stands in their way. A simple `thank you´ would have done.
She had every time of the world, but still she doesn´t want to waste it. This town was done and her tour to the next one overdue. She chooses to leave him with his thoughts and get up to her room, gather her few belongings and get going.
This will leave him with some time to come up with a few interesting ideas about her to make her stay worth remembering. If not, well, she doesn´t really care that much about it.

 

[Grail]

I didn't pay much attention to the woman's words, because that is all they were. The tone in her voice was something I hadn't heard in a while, most people were afraid of me...granted...I didn't care if they were or not. I took a deep breath and watched the rather angry woman head up towards her room, thinking about what she said for a moment and taking a rather long, and aggitated, sigh.

After a couple of moments I made my way up towards her room, knocking on her door for a couple of seconds and waited for her to answer, if she did. But before she opened the door, or asked anything, I decided to answer her question. "We can't be buried yet...we'll never truly die..."

 

[Chalintra]

If he could see through closed doors he´d see me smiling.

"Come in, you not yet dead hero".

The door isn´t locked and the room behind it looks much more comfortable than you remind it. She had taken care to keep it clean and get some decorative devices. Most of all, she doesn´t wear that much currently, so well, even the tiniyest hut would look like a palace with her, clothed - or better to say unclothed like this.

 

[Grail]

As soon as I heard the woman say that the door was open, I turned the knob and made my way inside, not really paying much attention that she was hardly dressed. Her little hero comment didn't sit well with me, and it showed a bit as I placed my back against a nearby wall. "I'm not a hero...there is no such thing anymore." I said simply, not getting aggitated because I knew this woman did not know what I had gone through, the pain I had felt for so long until I finally just gave up inside, shut off everything that I once felt for anyone.

The next question would seem a bit odd, but I coudln't stop myself from asking..."Why do you work here? You seem better than this."

 

[Grail]

(OOC: Bumpin :'( )

 

[Chalintra]

((Ups?! looks as if my last message had been lost. I´ll redo it.))

 

[Chalintra]

(Don´t know how or why I´ve lost tis message, but anyway, here it is, rewritten and good as new.)

“Doing better than this? The old glory has died, so I can´t go back to the citys I once knew and before I´d even think about living in one of those damned yankee citys I´d `really´ die.”
She frowned upon mentioning yankees, at least it was obvious who´s fault this way of her life was.
“And on the other hand, what should I do? Yes, some of those men are hard to bear, their stench and the dirt can be breathtaking. Some of the guys are quite nice and sweet on the other hand. Now and then they can even make me feel as if I´m alive.”

All the while she´d been talking she kept on with her buisenes without taking care of your presence. So you can watch her change from the whore you´ve seen to an innocent beauty, as she undresses the marks of her trade fall from her like leaves from a tree in autumn. Then, she´s going to change again, now reaching for a mens shirt and trousers, quite unfitting for a lady, but for sure some interesting kind of a tomboyish new style for her.
You can´t help but notice that she doesn´t ignore your presence like a whore who´s so overly used to the presence of men that she rarely notices it at all. She damn well knows that you are there and she does her best to let you savour each and every detail of her most alluring profiles. She´s just pretending, mocking you, challenging you and with such kind of a body she´d even stir the lust of a long burried corpse.
Then, wearing the shirt only, still unbuttoned, she turns to face you.
“But please tell me, why do `you´ care about me?”

 

[Grail]

(Heheh it's alright sweetie ^_^)

I watched her facial features the entire time she spoke, the mention of the word yankees, the cities she came from, everything was making me wonder what happend to her in the past, what could have drove her to come all this way and only to become a prostitute at that. The thoughts were saddening, and I didn't know what to say really, I just stood there against the wall and listened to what she had to say. I placed my thumbs inside of my pockets and looked up at her slowly when she was done speaking about her reason for living here, my eyes trying to meet hers. "Then why don't you settle down with one of those men that make you feel alive? Why do you continue to put yourself through this line of work, even though you know that you are too good for this?"

I didn't seem too shy either when the woman started to dress right in front of my eyes. I watched as her outfit fell from her so smoothly, her flesh being completely bared to my eyes. I didn't rightly care that she was reaching for a men's shirt and pants, my gaze was focused on her body, her beautiful face...every part of it sickened me just based on the fact she looked so much like my love..and I hated it in some way.This couldn't be real, she coudln't be real...and the pain only continued to burn inside of me. When she turned to face me, my eyes steadily rose from her unbuttoned shirt, to her eyes, wondering just what I had to say, but I thought I may as well be truthful to her. "I care...because you remind me a lot about someone I once loved...your eyes, your face, even your body reminds me of her. It's almost as if you could have been her twin."

 

[Chalintra]

She tilted her head and gave him a long and musing look. She didn´t care any more in her dress, all she focussed on were his eyes now.
"So you are not as dead as you thought you´d be. Please know that I am not the one you´ve lost, not even her twin. May be I look like her, but that´s where all similarity ends. I know what I´m talking about when I say that you can´t run from the Ghosts of your past. You have to face them, accept their fate and put them to their rest. Otherwise you´ll be on the run for the rest of your life. Just as I am."
Somehow she´s talking to herself as much as she´s talking to you. In this very moment she´s still running away from a lot of ghosts.
"I am not made for living amongst the people I met out here in the wilderness, I was born and educated for a life in a world that no longer exists. May be I´ll find a place, one day, somewhere, somehow. But I´m not so sure that I will be ever as happy as I´ve been. If that answers your question."

 

[Grail]

I knew that it was too good to be true, the fact that she was not the woman I loved, or a sister, or anything. I was relieved to know that she was a completely different person, and I would not have to go through that pain again. My eyes continued to scan her body, and I could not help but to start getting arroused by the sight. Sure, I felt horrible for only imagining my dearly departed, but her voice quickly snapped me back to reality. "I'm not running from my ghosts...that's just it...why do you think I kill? To shoot people without any hesitation? Demons took my family away from me, and I'll continue to kill as many as I can until I can happily meet them again."

I took a step towards her, wondering what exactly she was, who she was now more than anything. I could nto say that I wasn't drawn to her in some fashion, even besides her looks she had a certain spirit to her that even I couldn't find resistable. My eyes soon traveled down to her legs, and then up towards her exposed waist. "Tell me...what might convince you to stay in a place like this?" I asked, eyes slowly gazing back up to her own.

 

[Chalintra]

She laughed, a pearly shower, a sound of a of a fountain that spouts out pure and innocent happyness. ((Think about the gardens in Tivoli near Rome, then you get the idea))

"Sorry If I might offend you, but how can you think about me when you´re still killing demons to make the meeting with your family a more happy one? The only demons that you should kill are those who´d done this to you, the others are as meaningless as their numbers are legion.
I´ll stay when I know there is no need to go on any further, when I know that there is something that can make me feel alive for more than a few seconds. I think you´d have to show me things I´d never seen before - and be assured I´ve seen a lot."
There is some kind of a challenge in her words, a slight hope may be that one day she´ll find what she´s looking for. May be today?