Wifes Past

[wifescousin]

Before we were married, my wife was with 8 different guys. This is when she was 18. I get turned on when I get her to tell me about her past (she does not). How do I get her to enjoy stories about her past (not as much as me) so we can both enjoy before sex?

 

[DRoc]

You can not "make her" enjoy the stories she tells you. With that being said

Does she regret being with these 8 other guys? What does she not like about telling them?

Maybe she would be more turned on if you shared stories of you past. What you need to do is communicate with her. Be open with your feelings and hopefully she will be in return. That is the only way you can understand where she is coming from.

 

[wifescousin]

She has nothing to regret. She isn't particularly proud, however, neither of us thinks her past is bad or out of line.

 

[RozieMozie]

she may feel bad or guilty about getting turned on over talking about past partners ... it may be tht she feels tht u should be the one to turn her on and not anyone else

the best advice i can give u is to talk to her about it ... ask y she does not get off on talking about her past partners ... do it in a kind, but not pushing way

best of luck!

 

[akazie]

She isn't particularly proud

To me this seems like she doesn't exactly feel comfortable taking about her past partners.

Why does it turn you on? okay, I'm a pervert. I already know why it turns you on, my Husband is the same

Maybe it would be better to make up fantasies instead of taking about the past?

 

[bailadora]

Why does it turn you on? okay, I'm a pervert. I already know why it turns you on, my Husband is the same

I think the more important question here is does your wife understand why this turns you on? You didn't give much background, so perhaps she doesn't get why you have such an interest in her past. If you can help her to understand how and why this gets your motor revved, then perhaps she might be more willing to share. *shrug* It's a thought.

 

[ero_dream]

http://www.roadkilltshirts.com/images/products/COLORED/SHE-SAID_RK.gif

 

[ladycrow]

Maybe if she isn't comfortable telling your about her past you could work up some fantasies together?

 

[SpecialKay62]

I hate that!

My husband will sometimes ask about a past partner BY NAME!! I don't like it because suddenly the Ghost of Hot Sex Past is in the bedroom with us. For those who do like it...does he really want me to tell him how much I enjoyed another man? Really? Because I can see that being an issue over coffee in the morning. I just don't want to go there. That was then...this is now. If you are into hearing about it, can you explain a little?

 

[sunandshadow]

If it's something that she's not comfortable talking about, you probably shouldn't press the issue. It's great that you find it erotic and sexy for her to share previous experiences, but why would you want to make her uncomfortable by sharing things that she would rather not talk about? Let sleeping dogs lie.

Of course, you could try alternate methods to obtain similar type feelings. Read erotica together (the Loving Wives section of Lit would be more than helpful), and maybe you can use your imagination that it was your wife in certain scenarios.

I second this suggestion - many women love being read aloud to if you pick some material that's to their taste (this often means romantic but maybe she has a fantasy she'd like to add to the mix). Or maybe she could be the one reading aloud, while you did to her whatever the man in the story was doing to the woman in the story. Try it both ways.

 

[pw27]

Sometimes it's best to leave things in the past, especially if she's not comfortable talking about it.

 

[AnabolicFrog]

Before we were married, my wife was with 8 different guys. This is when she was 18. I get turned on when I get her to tell me about her past (she does not). How do I get her to enjoy stories about her past (not as much as me) so we can both enjoy before sex?

I am the complete opposite, My wife makes no secret of her previous lovers.
One of them Leroy persuaded her to get a tatt of a Heart with Leroy name woven around it.
It is on her upper right breast and can be clearly seen under most low cut tops.
Every time I see her naked I am reminded about him!

She has told me before he was a great lover.

 

[SusyQ]

This sounds like a catch-22

I would be concerned that the stories I'd told about past lovers would be used against me at some point. Oh, sure, it's really sexy to hear about when you're both turned on and feeling good about each other. However, it would be almost unbearably tempting to recycle the information later during an argument or as an excuse when things are not going well -- "Oh yeah? Well, why don't you go back to SAM, since he'd go down on you for hours on end?"

I'm with the folks who recommend reading erotica and getting her to talk about what in the stories makes her hot. It's a lot less emotionally risky.

 

[darkdays1]

SuzyQ hit the nail on the head

I would be concerned that the stories I'd told about past lovers would be used against me at some point.

From past experience, don't go there.

 

[Handley_Page]

I would be concerned that the stories I'd told about past lovers would be used against me at some point. Oh, sure, it's really sexy to hear about when you're both turned on and feeling good about each other. However, it would be almost unbearably tempting to recycle the information later during an argument or as an excuse when things are not going well -- "Oh yeah? Well, why don't you go back to SAM, since he'd go down on you for hours on end?"

I'm with the folks who recommend reading erotica and getting her to talk about what in the stories makes her hot. It's a lot less emotionally risky.

Here, Here.

 

[Jack_Slade]

Forget About your Past, make some HOT New Memories

 

[hellsgate]

In this guy's defense, some girls are shielded/shy & wouldn't be cool about it anyway, as some girls are too uptight (ie: religious) or worried that someone close to them (and quite possibly close to his or her) parents, might see an ad/picture post online, get weird about it, and blurt something out, officially "outing" them as a fellow swinger / hot-wife couple or whatever.

But, you're right on the money on every other possibility. Lastly, get away from her past for a good LONG time. If she wants to go there, she'll either bring it up or she'll be hoping you've moved on to something else, if she doesn't. or, be careful what you wish for. she might just decide to let one of those guys be her final prince charming and side step around you, leaving you behind to polish your knob fantasizing about her 9 months swollen by someone else as much as you'd like.